Miriam and Wes froze, but Wes made no move to scramble away from her. If anything, he seemed to get closer, placing a protective arm over Miriam's exposed breasts until she made a grab for her top and slipped it over her head.

"Didn't you hear me?" Ade growled. "Get the fuck off her."

"I'm sorry." Miriam sounded far from apologetic. "But did you just tell him to get off me?" she asked.

Ade narrowed his eyes, watching as incredulity bloomed on her face. "Yes," he said. "Wes is obviously trying to make a move on you and you're too ki—"

"You've got to be kidding me," Miriam scoffed. "What? Could I not possibly be making a move on him? Am I incapable of making my own decisions? Of saving myself in the unlikely event this isn't something I want."

Miriam was speaking, of that Ade was sure, but her words failed to compute. Instead, Ade spent his time glancing from her to Wes and back again, noting how they both dressed, pulling up zippers and cracking tight muscles. "I'm sorry," he said, laughing almost. "You want this?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Miriam cocked her head to one side.

"B-b-because you're with me," Ade spluttered.

Miriam laughed. It was nothing like he was used to. Dark and dirty where she was usually bright and filled with joy, mocking too. Oh, so mocking. "I'm not with you," she said. "It's crazy you'd think I was."

"Crazy?" Ade felt his eyes widen. He probably looked crazy, but then he'd never felt such muted rage in his life. He was angry, he knew that in a hazy, incomplete way, but he also knew that he was deeply confused. Had they not gone on dates, kissed, cuddled? Had they not done all the things you do when you're with someone? Had they not been together? Been an us? A unit?

"Look, I was clear from the beginning," Miriam said with a careless shrug as she slid off the bed. "I was never looking for anything serious. I don't do intense. You get it."

"No," Ade said forcefully. "I don't get it."

Miriam licked her lips, shaking her head softly, and glanced up at the ceiling before taking a step towards him, then another and another until there was less than an inch between them. "This has been fun," she said, "but I don't see it going anywhere. I never did. We were hanging out, you know. Not really together. Not properly anyway."

"I—"

Miriam brushed past him, stopping in the open doorway. "Wes?" she asked, a glimmer of the girl Ade had known peeking through. "You coming?"

Wes blinked rapidly and shook his head. "I, uh, yeah." He stopped beside Ade and leaned in. "Sorry man," he said.

"Oh fuck you," Ade hissed in return.

Wes sighed heavily then joined Miriam, the two of them disappearing hand in hand. It would've hurt more if not for the fact that in their absence Ade came to the realisation that all this had happened in his room, on his sheets, in his bed. A fact which turned his muted rage into full-fledged red hot anger.

Crashing out of the bedroom, Ade thundered downstairs and co-opted the first bottle of liquor he could find. He spotted a tall woman in red, braids collected in a high ponytail, and slunk towards her, abandoning the alcohol as quickly as he acquired it. "Hi," he said with a soft smile. "I'm Ade."

"I know," she said. "We met last year. You said you'd call and then nothing."

"I said that?" Ade pointed at himself. If there was a God, he'd swallow him whole now.

"Yeah," she said stonily. "Not that I'm surprised, guys like you only stick around for the good times. Right?"

"I wouldn't say—"

"Anyway, it was good seeing you." She disappeared within the blink of an eye, not even sparing him a second glance.

Ade growled. He was nought for nought. He was never nought for nought, least of all on a night like this. Pushing his shoulders back, he cracked his neck and delved into the crowd, hunting for the perfect prize. She eventually came in a five foot seven package with a wavy blonde bob and bright red lips who made the first move.

"Hi," she said, leaning close. "You're Ade, right?"

"The one and only." He opened his arms wide and smirked.

She laughed and he tried not to wince at the artifice. "You kissed my friend in a game of truth or dare a couple months ago," she said. "Apparently it was the best night of her life."

"I aim to please," Ade grinned.

"Oh, is that so?" She seemed halfway to twirling a piece of hair around her pointer finger. It was slightly ridiculous, but beggars couldn't exactly be choosers.

"That is so," Ade said. "What's your name?"

"Sophie."

"Right, well Sophie, I'd love to show you just how well I please." Ade internally cringed at the line, but her smile grew so he knew it didn't matter.

"I would love to be shown how you please," she said, throwing the lame ass attempt back at him.

He took her hand nonetheless and tugged gently, the two of them practically running upstairs. His bedroom door was ajar, but he bypassed it, tugging her into Miriam's. As expected, it was empty. The thought of her in Wes' lit a fire in Ade's stomach, one which saw him grab Sophie's face and smack his mouth against hers.

Their kiss was frantic and sloppy, the two of them walking backwards until they hit the bed. Sophie crawled on top of him, slipping the straps of her dress down her arms and releasing her bare breasts. His hand found one while her mouth found his and he tweaked her nipple, pleased when she let out a loud groan. "God," she moaned. "You don't disappoint."

"We've barely started," he said, a little curt.

"You're right." Sophie seemed to ignore the slight air of hostility. "You're still dressed." She helped Ade take his top off and dragged her nails down his torso, mouth soon following all the way to the waistband of his jeans. He watched while she unbuttoned them, shifting them down to mid-thigh, and delved beneath his boxers. The blowjob was average, but he moaned once to boost morale then told her to get up here.

Wasting no time, he moved straight to the main event, kissing her roughly before pushing in. Despite the betrayal, the ease with which she brushed him off, with each and every pump, Ade saw Miriam. When Sophie moaned his name, it was as good as Miriam moaning his name. When she scratched his back, it was Miriam scratching his back. It was all Miriam. Stupid, stupid Miriam until he finally came and rolled off Sophie who, in the clarity that followed, morphed back into herself. Alongside such transformation came an overwhelming crash of shame.

"That was." Sophie nestled close. Ade wanted to push her off, but he allowed her this brief moment of intimacy before sitting up.

"Yeah," he said. "Thanks."

She sat behind him and kissed his shoulder. "You didn't like it," she asked.

"No," Ade said. "I mean yes. You were great." Miriam would've been better; he hated that he thought she would be better.

"Good, because I'm not finished yet." Swinging herself round, Sophie perched on his lap and kissed him again. He didn't want her, but he couldn't be bothered to let her down either so he let himself be kissed, participating barely until Sophie began grinding against him.

"This was fun," he said, stopping her in her tracks. "But I should be getting back down."

"Now?" she spluttered.

He nodded. "Maybe find me later?" he said.

She sighed deeply but agreed before sliding off him and hurrying out of the room. Rather than follow, Ade collapsed on Miriam's bed. Nothing about that made him feel better. It didn't make him feel worse either. It just existed, mediocre sex in a mildly satisfying bed. Things could've been better, he knew, but they also could've been worse.

He then sat up and pulled his phone out of his pocket, pressing on the one name he swore off long ago.

The phone rang twice before her groggy voice filtered down the line. "Ade?" she asked. "I thought you stopped doing this years ago."

"Hi Hilary," he said with grimace.

"Are you drunk?" she asked, voice clearing.

Maybe he had been, but now he felt sober as hell. "When you fucked Wes," he said.

"We're not doing this again," she groaned.

"I'm serious," Ade insisted. "When you fucked him, did you feel remorse?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Hilary scoffed. "Of course I felt remorse. I still feel guilty. If I didn't, I wouldn't be answering your fucking call." Her accent strengthened, lithe and jumpy in a way that warmed Ade. "Why are you bringing this all up anyway?" she asked.

"Because there was a girl," Ade said.

"Shit," Hilary whispered to herself. "Miriam, right?"

"Yeah, how did you—"

"Where are you?" she asked.

"It's Daniel's birthday," Ade said. "We're at his parents place."

She cursed again. "Right, well when you're back call me. We should talk about this in person."

They hadn't seen each other since the beginning of second year. A feat considering their shared social circle, but they'd managed it, and in the time, she'd gotten a boyfriend and he'd learned how to collect girls like trophies. "Won't Sahar get jealous?" he wondered aloud.

Hilary laughed and he could just see her smile. "Don't worry about Sahar," she said. "Call me." She then hung up.

And here Ade was thinking Miriam was a mystery. It seemed everyone knew her but him.

***

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