"Well you work to earn a living, but on weekends comes the time, you can do what ever turns you on, get out and clear your mind. Me, I like football, and there's a lot of things around, but when you line 'em up together, the footy wins hands down.

Up there cazaly, in there and fight, out there and at 'em, show 'em your might
Up there cazaly, don't let 'em in, fly like an angel, you're out there to win. " Mike Brady, Up there Cazaly

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Alexandra's POV. You asked and you shall receive <3

Chapter Sixteen

Alexandra woke with a large smile on her face. It seemed that she was waking up in this sort of mood every day now that Joaquín was in her life again.

She could not explain the passion and excitement she felt when she was with him. She did not understand it herself. Love was not supposed to be like this. Not the love that she had seen anyway. From what she had seen and witnessed, marriage was an agreement, a formal agreement between a man and a woman that included a dowry, the sum of money that enticed a man to take a woman as his wife.

Of course, the marriage of her parents, and her aunts and uncles were not where she was taking this understanding from. They were happy, and she was glad, but their unions had occurred years before. Now, everything was different.

All of the friends that Alexandra had made during her season in London had since married, the marriages organised by their parents to gentlemen they deemed suitable. Occasionally she received letters, but they never detailed the feelings that Alexandra felt whenever she was with Joaquín.

Marriage, from what Alexandra had seen among the women her own age, was something a woman settled into.

Alexandra did not feel as though she would ever settle into a marriage with Joaquín. She would dive into it, head first, blindfolded, completely trusting this dark eyed man who had captured her heart the first moment she had laid eyes on him.

How could she have been so lucky? What had she done to deserve such a blessing? Alexandra had led an ordinary life. She led the life of an aristocrat, a fortunate aristocrat. And yet, this man, this wonderful, all consuming man, had found her in and amongst the rolling hills of Derbyshire, and he had made her life everything she could have ever wished it to be.

Today would be a trying day, she assumed. Today, she and her sister would be going on a ride with their suitors. Today, Joaquín would show her his scars, the scars that he believed would make her stomach churn. Alexandra was determined to keep her face neutral. She could not prepare for the shock, though she would never refuse him based on the appearance of his back. She was not so shallow.

Joaquín had never shown her weakness before. Today, she was sure, would be the first time she saw him vulnerable. She wanted to see this side of him. It would be the final piece in the jigsaw. Once she saw him fully, she would treasure his whole self for as long as she lived.

Alexandra threw back the duvet and climbed out of bed. She collected the silk robe that lay on her trunk at the foot of her bed and slipped it on. She flitted over to her dressing table and picked up her hairbrush, pulling it through her tangled brown locks rather roughly.

When she had finished brushing her hair, Alexandra stared at herself in the mirror, paying close attention to the reflection of her surroundings. At some point, every day, she would find herself feeling quite sad, as she knew her days in those places were numbered. How many more mornings would she wake up in her father’s house and brush her hair at the dressing table she had had since she was a child?

Alexandra smiled slightly and pinched her pale cheeks to put some colour into them. She had been blessed with a fair face. She had smooth, pale skin and a small, feminine nose. Her lips were full and pink and her eyes were hazel, framed with thick, black eyelashes.

Alexandra selected a lilac scent for the day and dabbed the perfume on her wrist and neck. Just as she was about to ring the bell for a maid to help her dress, her bedroom door opened.

Imogen entered her bedroom slowly, walking carefully across the room to stand beside Alexandra at her dressing table. Alexandra moved to the left of her seat so that Imogen could join her. She always felt such pride whenever her sister moved anywhere on her own. She was really trying to strengthen herself.

The twins’ reflections in the mirror were so different. Imogen was so much smaller than Alexandra, something that Alexandra had felt guilty about for years. She had never been able to speak about it to anyone, not even Imogen, which was difficult as the sisters shared everything. Alexandra had always felt guilty for being the stronger twin, for taking their mother’s strength while they shared a womb. She knew that this was ridiculous but it was how she felt. Alexandra had been born healthy and Imogen had been born not breathing, something that she had suffered for continuously.

Alexandra had always thought Imogen very pretty, though. She looked like their mother, a woman whose beauty had never faltered. Her blonde hair was thin and wispy, and it seemed not to grow longer than her shoulder blades, but the colour was that of the palest corn silk. The shade of her eyes were the same as Alexandra’s but her facial features were so much more petite and delicate. She looked precious, like a pixie.

And once again, Alexandra was experiencing another moment that was numbered. How many more times would she and her sister have to be alone together, as unmarried debutantes, as twins living under the same roof?

“Have you changed your mind about today?” Imogen asked her.

Alexandra shook her head. “No, I want to go,” she confirmed. “I want to see them. I want to reassure him.”

Imogen nodded and picked up Alexandra’s hairbrush. Once upon a time, the silver handle had been too heavy for Imogen to hold up to her head. Now she used it as would any other girl. “We should go to Mama and Papa’s bedroom then,” she replied, “to ask permission. Then I can send a note to Simon.”

Alexandra grinned deviously at Imogen’s mention of Simon. Whenever she saw the two together, conversing, she felt positively giddy! She was so pleased that Imogen was receiving the attention she deserved. She was overjoyed that finally a man had seen the true gem her sister was. Imogen required help sometimes, but what of it? She was kind and genuine and ever so clever. She deserved to be happy in a good marriage, and not one that was made purely for the dowry that came with her hand. “Simon,” Alexandra said teasingly. The fact that Imogen now knew him by his Christian name gave her great hope. She had no doubt of the Colonel’s character. His record alone told Alexandra that he was a good an honourable man, loyal to his Queen and his country, and no doubt to the future wife he would have. She could tell by the way that he looked at Imogen that he saw something in her. He wan enchanted by her, and he trusted her. Alexandra could hope for nothing more for her beloved sister.

Alexandra could leave England happily knowing that Imogen was with such a man.

Imogen blushed at Alexandra’s tone and playfully slapped her with the back of the hairbrush. “Hush,” she scolded.

Alexandra giggled and stood up from the seat, going over to ring her bell for a maid. “You will use today, also, will you not?”

Imogen furrowed her eyebrows. “How do you mean?”

“You told me to get to know Joaquín, and I have endeavoured to. You must do the same with Colonel Spencer. You will be alone with him today. I will not chaperone you as closely as Mama would just as you will not do the same to me. Use this time wisely.” It was not often that Alexandra was the one to be giving serious advice. Imogen was usually the voice of reason in Alexandra’s head. She did want Imogen to make a serious decision about the Colonel today. She also, selfishly, wanted Imogen to be settled by the time she had to leave.

Imogen nodded and smiled at Alexandra. “I will,” she promised.

Prior to the maid arriving, Alexandra selected a royal blue gown to wear, and then went into Imogen’s bedroom to choose a red gown. Red always suited Imogen. The colour was a terrific contrast to her complexion and hair. She collected the necessary underclothes and then returned to her bedroom.

A maid arrived shortly after to help the two girls dress. Alexandra braced herself as her corset was tightened, wincing as the laces were tightened. Imogen suffered next, balling her hands into fists as her own laces were tightened. They dressed in their prospective gowns and then had their hair fixed into simple buns, suitable for a day’s riding.

Once dressed, the sisters linked arms and made the journey down the corridor to visit their parents’ bedroom. Alexandra hoped that her father had already left their bedroom for breakfast as she knew he would not be so willing to allow his unmarried daughters go off riding with two gentlemen for the day.

The sisters exchanged an excited glance before Alexandra nervously knocked on the door.

“Come in,” sounded her mother’s voice from inside.

Alexandra turned the door handle and entered the bedroom to see that her mother was alone with her lady’s maid, Rosemary. Rosemary was fixing the back of Bess’ gown.

“Good morning, girls,” their mother greeted cheerfully.

“Good morning, Mama,” replied Alexandra and Imogen in unison.

“Is there something you wanted?” asked Bess, arching an eyebrow knowingly. Clearly she could sense their nerves.

“Mama,” Alexandra began, trying to sound as casual as possible, “would it be alright if Imogen and I go on a ride today?”

Imogen instantly shot Alexandra a look, as if to chastise her for excluding the little detail that Joaquín and Simon would be going as well.

Bess pursed her lips and looked at Imogen, as if she were assessing her ability. Her parents would always be over protective when it came to Imogen, no matter how hard Imogen tried to be independent. “I am not comfortable with Imogen riding without a man with her,” replied Bess.

Alexandra knew that Bess meant either their father or David, but she decided to lightly slip in the identities of their companions. “Well, that works out perfectly then,” she chirped, “as Joaquín and Colonel Spencer will be accompanying us.”

Bess frowned and folded her arms across her chest, looking utterly disapproving. “Excuse me?”

Imogen decided to jump in then, to help Alexandra. “If Colonel Spencer and Joaquín accompany us, Mama, then we shall have men with us. If I have any trouble with the horse then they will be able to help me. You have nothing to worry about!”

And now Bess would worry because Imogen had assured her she did not need to. “You wish to go on a ride with two gentlemen alone?”

Alexandra bit her bottom lip and nodded. “Yes, please, Mama.” Did she need to get down on her knees and beg? She would if she had to.

“Can I trust you to behave appropriately?” Bess asked Alexandra. Of course she would not direct the question at Imogen. She was the responsible one. Alexandra was the twin that fell in love with mysterious foreign royalty.

“Of course,” she promised. She only planned on being in the presence of a shirtless Joaquín for a minute or two.

“Alright,” she agreed. Both Alexandra and Imogen beamed. “You must promise me that you will watch after one another,” she said sternly. “Be careful on that horse, Imogen, you are not an experienced rider.”

“Of course, Mama,” promised Imogen.

Alexandra ran forward and kissed her mother’s cheek. “Thank you!” she exclaimed.

Bess merely pursed her lips. “Reputations can never be repaired, Allie,” she warned. “I am trusting you to be sensible.”

“I will be, I promise.”

Imogen returned to her bedroom to write a note to Simon while Alexandra went to the guest wing on the second floor to visit Joaquín. He would either be in his bedroom or down at breakfast with her father. She prayed that he was in his bedroom as she could not ask him to go riding in the presence of her father. Emmett would surely overrule Bess’ permission.

Alexandra took a deep breath and knocked on his door. She heard movement inside and thanked God that he had not yet gone downstairs. The door opened a few moments later and Joaquín stood before her, still wearing his night shirt and a pair of dark trousers. The neck of the shirt was loose, and Alexandra could see the top of his bronze, taut chest.

Joaquín smiled, almost seductively as his dark eyes looked her over. “Alejandra,” he said quietly. It sent chills down her spine whenever he said her name in Spanish. “Buenos dias, mi querida,” he greeted. Joaquín reached out and cupped her cheek which was warm with her blush. Instinctively, she leaned in to his touch.

Querida was what he called her whenever he did not call her Alejandra. She was not sure what it meant but she was sure it was a term of endearment. Either way, she enjoyed it.

“Hello,” she said bashfully.

“You are so beautiful this morning, Alejandra,” complimented Joaquín tenderly.

She enjoyed his heavily accented English as much as his Spanish. “Thank you,” she replied softly.

“Querida, what is it?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I came to invite you on a ride today with my sister and Colonel Spencer,” she replied, chewing on her bottom lip nervously. “I thought perhaps you might show me –”

“– my back,” he finished the sentence for her. His smile had vanished and he suddenly looked quite apprehensive. His shoulders tensed and she could see that his breathing was increasing, as though he were panicking at the thought of Alexandra seeing the scars. “Si, si,” he said, nodding to himself. “Of course, you must see.”

Boldly, Alexandra placed her hand on his cheek, bringing his dark eyes back to hers. “It will change nothing,” she promised.

“That is what you think now, Alejandra,” he said sadly.

“That is what I will think always, Joaquín,” she promised. She gained some confidence in her conviction. “Will you come on the ride?”

Joaquín nodded. “Of course, I would do anything for you. You know that, querida.”

Alexandra smiled. “Good. Get dressed, eat some breakfast, and I shall meet you down at the stables in a few hours.” Alexandra checked to see if anyone had entered the corridor while they were conversing and she was glad to see the hallway clear. She stood up on her toes and kissed his cheek before flitting away like a silly schoolgirl.

They had not yet kissed, and she was hoping that would change today. She had a plan. He would show her his scars, and she would prove that they did not phase her by kissing him. She only hoped that her inexperience did not ruin the moment.

A few hours later, Alexandra, Imogen and Joaquín were all down at the stables, waiting for their horses to be saddled, and waiting on Colonel Spencer’s arrival. Alexandra could still see that Joaquín was very nervous and uncomfortable. She so desperately wanted to reassure him, but she could not until she saw his back.

When the stable hand brought out their saddled horses, Alexandra noticed that Imogen appeared quite nervous as well. She was sure that Imogen would relax just as soon as Colonel Spencer arrived. Imogen seemed to feel safe with him which was another reason why Alexandra trusted him.

A short while later, a figure on a horse appeared in the distance, galloping towards them. Alexandra was glad that Imogen’s missive had reached him quickly.

Simon slowed his horse down to a walk as he approached them and the dismounted. He tipped his hat to both Alexandra and Joaquín before smiling at Imogen warmly. Surely if Joaquín could see that Imogen could see past the scar on Simon’s face then Alexandra would be able to see past the scars on his back.

“Good morning, everyone,” he greeted. “I was glad to receive your note, Lady Imogen.”

“I am glad that you could come,” replied Imogen happily.

Alexandra could see the excitement in her sister’s eyes. It was so good to see Imogen excited by something. For so long she had been, for want of a better word, miserable. She had been stuck inside a body that would not work for her, and now she was finally escaping it.

Joaquín’s hands were suddenly on Alexandra’s hips as he lifted her onto her horse. Simon promptly did the same for Imogen. Alexandra seized hold of the reins and she checked to make sure that Imogen was safely on top of Moon, the horse she had unofficially claimed.

“Are you alright?” she asked Imogen.

Imogen nodded. “Perfect. Shall we go?”

“Where to?” asked Simon.

Away from any windows where our father might see us, Alexandra automatically thought. “Let us just ride,” she replied. She nudged her horse and she took off into a steady canter. The other three horses quickly followed suit.

They rode around the side of Ascot House, around to the front and down the gravel driveway towards the iron gates. Alexandra pushed her horse into a gallop just as soon as they were clear of the grounds of Ascot House. Every so often she would check over her shoulder to make sure that Imogen was coping and she seemed to be enjoying it. Simon and Joaquín were simply following her.

Alexandra did not ride towards the village. She wanted privacy, and the prying eyes of the townsfolk would not allow them that.

Soon they were riding along the border of one of the farms on Ascot land. The stone wall stretched for at least a mile. She knew that there were at least three miles between them and the farmer that worked those fields. This particular part of land was abundant in trees and shrubbery so there was plenty of privacy.

She slowed her horse to a walk and turned around to see Joaquín, Simon and Imogen doing the same. “Shall we rest here?” she suggested. She looked to Joaquín for an answer and he simply nodded, looking ill.

Both Simon and Joaquín dismounted and helped the ladies down from their horses. Imogen sat down on the stone wall and Simon joined her. Joaquín motioned for Alexandra to follow him. Alexandra gulped. This was it. Imogen offered her a supportive smile.

“Excuse us,” murmured Alexandra.

Joaquín was walking ahead of Alexandra, talking to himself in Spanish and balling his hands into fists. He walked until they were a good quarter mile from Imogen and Simon. They were well hidden from the rest of their party and were completely alone.

He turned around to face her and he looked to be in utter anguish. “You must understand, Alejandra, my life was planned for me even prior to my birth. I was born the Prince of Asturias. I was born to be a King. I was born to do so many things. Everything was planned. There were no surprises. None until you.” His dark eyes narrowed and he sucked in a quick breath. “I could never have planned for you. I was supposed to be wed to a Greek princess. Just another plan. You have turned my life upside down in the best way. You … you consume me, my every thought. How am I supposed to rule a country when the only thing I can think about is in England?” Joaquín shook his head and shrugged off his coat. He discarded it on the ground and began to remove his cravat. “I am no fool, Alejandra, I know there are some things that women simply cannot stomach. You must see this. You must know.” He then let his white cravat float to the ground. He unbuttoned his waistcoat and then turned around. “If you cannot stomach it, then I will understand.”

Alexandra held her breath.

Joaquín reached for the back of his shirt collar and he pulled it up and over his head, exposing his back to her. His usually perfect, bronze skin was marred with dozens of dark pink scars. There was a maze of horrific grooves covering his otherwise muscular back. Not an inch was left untouched. From his neck to the bottom of his spine, he was covered in painful scars.

“Oh, good Lord,” gasped Alexandra as she clapped her hands over her mouth. So much for remaining neutral. But how could she? His entire back screamed such horrific pain. Joaquín must have suffered for days, weeks at a time.

But she was not disgusted. Not at all. She quickly ran to him, to see them up close. They were lash scars, each one representing one crack of the whip. How many times had he been subjected to this?

Alexandra delicately caressed the dark grooves on his back, the action sending a shiver down Joaquín’s spine. Quicker than anything, he turned around and seized her hands in his. His dark eyes searched her face intently, wanting to see her reaction.

If it were any other situation, Alexandra would have blushed crimson red as she was in the presence of a half-naked man, but she did not. She was determined to make him see that it did not matter to her.

“How many times?” she whispered.

“I do not know. I stopped counting when I was thirteen of fourteen,” he replied honestly.

“There are so many,” remarked Alexandra softly. “You must have suffered time and time again.” She bravely placed her hand on his waist, feeling the scars with her fingertips.

“I suffered for my own mistakes. I endured it for my sisters,” he replied quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“Do not say anything to Elena or Gabriela,” he asked pleadingly, “for they do not need to know. Every so often they would displease our father and I would take it for them. There were times when he would not allow it but I took it for them as often as he would let me. I only told them that he forgave their wrongdoing. They do not need to know what happened to me.”

Joaquín was a good man. There was no other way to describe him. With her other hand, she cupped his face. “You are so brave,” she declared. “You should wear these with pride. They show just how strong and noble you are. They are nothing to be ashamed of and they certainly do not disgust me.” She felt her heart lurch in her chest as she looked at him. If it were ever possible, she had fallen even more in love with him.

He breathed a sigh of relief and his familiar, dashing smile spread across his face. “You are sure?” he checked.

Alexandra nodded. “Yes, I am sure.”

“Gracias A Dios!” he exclaimed as he seized her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers. Joaquín lifted her into his arms and deepened the kiss, Alexandra simply following his lead. She could not help but smile as he kissed her, wrapping her arms around his neck so that she could hold him close to her.

Alexandra loved this man. There would be no other for as long as she lived.

Joaquín pulled away from her a few moments later. “Marry me, Alejandra. Come with me to Spain, for I cannot be apart from you again. Please,” he implored.

It would be the easiest decision she would ever make. “Yes.” 

--

I've been mulling over the idea of writing an Alexandra and Joaquin epilogue to satisfy all of you that are begging for a separate story. Again, they are not getting a separate story. However, when I sat down to write this chapter it only worked in Alexandra's POV, so I hope you liked it! I really enjoyed writing from her perspective :) 

The quote above is the lyrics to the iconic Aussie football song "Up there Cazaly". It's written about a football player in the 20s and 30s who was known for taking spectacular marks or catches. He would leap into the air and a teammate of his used to shout "Up there Cazaly" whenever he was clear to do so. I've included it because FOOTBALL IS BACKKKKKK!!!!!! It finished in September and we've had to wait until now to see it again. The same for Outlander, but I will get to that later :P So I am so excited that football is back! My mum says I watch football like a bogan. A bogan is like a hillbilly or a redneck. She said she could hear me watching the football from outside "IN THE BACK YOU BLIND TWIT!!" as if the umpires could hear me :P If a footy player pushes their opponent in the back to get them out of the contest it's a free kick but the umpires are biased idiots. Anyways so Essendon lost yesterday to Sydney, a team that I hate, and I was not happy. Mum had a go at me for being a sore loser but I am a sore loser. I locked myself in my room and watched Dr Quinn. Next week we take on the Hawks, the reigning premiers, so that will be a tough one but I'm sure my boys can get up and win. I hate the Hawks too. 

Anyways, I've put the video of the song on the side if you want to listen. Every footy fan knows the words :)

But Outlander, omgggggg. I am so obsessed with that show. Please watch it if you haven't already! I read the books years ago and now they've finally made a TV show out of it thank godddd!!!!!

But Happy Easter everyone! The Easter Bunny thinks I'm too old for chocolate now so I got a bad of Cadbury eggs :P But hope everyone's days were great :)

Vote and comment!!!!