**Edited by krisgee**

"The Rented Husband"

2011 Copyright All Rights Reserved

Chapter 13

                Olivia came awake with a start when the incessant beeping of her alarm clock interrupted her incredibly amazing dream of a bare chested Matthew McConaughey hand feeding her chocolate covered strawberries.

                Not bothering to lift her head, she reached over and smacked the snooze button, cursing the dang blamed thing.  "I hate mornings," she grumbled her face still buried in the pillow. 

                For several long minutes she just laid there, with her eyes closed as the events of the night before started to come back to her.  Disgruntled, she flopped over on her back and stared up at the ceiling.  "I am such an idiot."

                She thought about dinner with Brody’s mom which went surprisingly well, then coming back to her condo and the fiasco that followed.  She couldn't believe that she knocked him out with a bat. 

                Only me, she groaned.  This type of crap would only happen to me. 

                Then the brute had wormed his way into spending the night.  In her house.  On her couch.  She sat up and stared at the door, knowing that he was out there and probably going through her things.  That would be just like him, nosey little beaver.

                Standing up, she pushed her arms above her head and stretched.  It was then that she realized Mother Nature’s calling.  She moved to the door, unlocked it and stuck her head out. She looked both ways, making sure that Brody was no where in sight before streaking down the hall to the bathroom.

                While attending to business, she thought some more about the insufferable man that knew how to get on her ever-loving nerves.  In two days they would be on a plane, posing as man and wife, headed to Hawaii.  She had yet to say anything to her mother about it and could only imagine her daddy's reaction.  

                On the bright side, she wouldn't have to look forward to any more of those God awful blind dates.  Maybe, just maybe, she might be able to enjoy her baby sister's wedding.  With Brody in tow, that was a very big maybe.

                Washing her hands in the sink, she looked up at her reflection in the mirror.  Her hair was in complete disarray.  Her mascara was running, giving her the full raccoon effect and the gown she had on was an old flannel one that made her look anything but appealing.

                Studying her image, an idea came to mind.  If Brody saw what she truly looked like first thing in the morning then he wouldn't continue to misplace his mouth on hers.  A grin tugged at her lips.  Seeing her like this, surely he would want to stay away from her as much as possible.  It seemed like the perfect solution to her paltry problem.

                She tangled her hands in her hair, mussing it up even further and stepped out of the bathroom.  Her sullen mood was now much brighter since she had a plan.  It was high time to turn the tables on Mr. Brody O'Conner.

                Olivia stopped at the top of the stairs, the smell of bacon and coffee hitting her nose.  Her stomach growled in response.  She wasn't typically a breakfast person but the enticing scent was quickly causing her to change her tune. 

                She jogged down the steps and made her way to the kitchen, skidding to a halt when she saw him.  He stood at the stove, with a spatula in one hand, wearing nothing but Spongebob boxers. 

                Momentarily stunned, she found herself transfixed on the defined muscles of his back and knowing good and well that she should turn her head, but she couldn't.  Her eyes were glued to his magnificent body.

                Brody heard her as soon as she entered the kitchen.  He purposefully decided to cook breakfast in his boxers hoping to get a rise out of her.  After the hell he went through the night before, unable to sleep because he knew that she was just feet away, probably sleeping in some sheer lingerie, he wanted her to suffer. 

                He flipped the bacon in the pan and then turned around to face her.  At first glance, he was taken aback by her appearance.  She looked like one of the extras from Michael Jackson's Thriller video. 

                Then he noticed the way that she was staring back at him and couldn’t help but grin. 

                "Good morning," he said easily, dropping his hands to his side, giving her an up close and personal view of the goods.

                Olivia gulped.  Those abs.  They were perfection.  Oh yeah, she could see herself doing a load of laundry on them suckers, possibly even two.  From head to toe, this man was gorgeous.  She could just imagine herself licking....

                She stopped herself right there.  She did not need those types of images swimming though her head.  Bristling, she turned away from him and strolled over to the refrigerator.  With jerky movements, she grabbed the milk and went over to the counter to get a glass.

                "So, I take it that you're not a morning person," Brody remarked.  He was following her every move, unable to tear his gaze away from her shapely legs.  He had an inkling that she had purposefully come down here looking her worst just to get under his skin and oddly enough, he thought that was adorable that she would go through that much trouble for him.

                Olivia poured her glass of milk and grunted.  She refused to look in his direction; that body of his was just too damn tempting.

                "I take that as an affirmative," he answered himself chuckling.  "You are a strange woman, Olivia Murray.  Very strange. But you want to know something?  I find strange highly attractive, especially on you."

                Olivia whipped her head around.  She knew that he was baiting her and as soon as her eyes landed on that delectable body of his a shot of desire ran through her system, which just pissed her off even more.

                Slamming her glass of milk on the counter, the white liquid sloshing and spilling on her hand, she yelled, "For crying out loud, will you go and put some clothes on!"

                Brody took his time, taking the bacon out of the pan and laying it out on a paper towel for the grease to drain.  He glanced over at Olivia.  "What, do you have a problem with my body?  Can you not handle a little male flesh this early in the morning?"

                Her lip twitched as she tried to think of something to say.  She wanted to slap him silly for making her feel like this.  It was absolutely criminal for a guy to flaunt assets like that.  Dropping her head back, she looked up at the ceiling and let out a ragged breath.  "Just do it Brody, please..... for decency's sake."

                He was loving this.  He loved seeing her off her game and flustered by none other than himself.  Ignoring her request, he turned to her, giving her another perfect view and pointed at the refrigerator.  "Why not make yourself useful and hand me a few eggs from out of there?"

                Olivia cocked her head to the side.  "Come again."

                "Eggs, you know those little white things, they usually come by the dozen… Four should be good," he told her before turning back around to the stove and checking his toast.

                If he wants eggs, then he'll get his damn eggs.

                Without saying a word, Olivia turned and reached in the refrigerator, pulling out the carton of eggs.  She opened them and smirked.  "Brody," she said, taking an egg out of the carton. 

                He turned around, "Yesssss.."

                Smack.  Egg ran down his face.  "You did not just do that," he quipped, wiping the remnants of the yellow yolk off of his forehead. 

                "Oh, I believe I just did and guess what?" she said, trying to control her laughter, "Here's another one for ya."

                And with perfect aim, Brody was hit again.  He shook his head and laughed.  "You are so going to pay for that."

                Olivia started to back up.  "I don't think so."

                Brody stalked forward.  "Well think again muffin cakes," and in two long strides he closed the distance between them.  Before she had a chance to react, he took the carton out of her hands and dumped it on her head.

                "It looks like you have a little egg on your face sweet cheeks," he teased.

                Olivia swiped her eyes and glared back at him.  "You think this is funny don't you?"

                Brody, unable to hold it in, busted out laughing.  "Yeah, actually I do".

                Olivia looked over at the counter and spotted her glass of milk.  She darted past him, grabbed it and tossed it in his face.  She froze in place when his abrupt laughter stopped, the glass still in her hand and after a long moment of silence she started laughing.  "Now that is what I call funny."

                He just stood there, milk running down his chest, egg caked in his hair and watched Olivia.  She really did look a hot mess with egg shells tangled up in her rat’s nest.  "You do huh?"

                She nodded her head, working to stifle her giggles.   

                Brody lunged for the open refrigerator and grabbed the first thing that he could get his hands on.  Looking at the tub of butter in his hands, he shrugged his shoulders.  "Works for me."

                Olivia saw the intent before he reached her.  She tried to back away but he caught her.  She squealed when the tub of cold butter was dumped on her head.  She kicked out, but Brody, learning his lesson the hard way, had jumped back far enough that he was out of her kicking range.  His shins remembered all too well the punch that those small feet could pack.

                "I can not believe that you did that!"

                Brody started laughing again.  "Yellow looks good on you."

                "Aggggghhhh," she screamed.  "You...you...stupid, egotistical, self absorbent, poor excuse of a man!"  Her eyes burning with fury, Olivia glanced around the kitchen and spotted the fruit bowl sitting on her table.  Grabbing the first thing that she could get her hands on, she held it up at the ready.

                "What are you going to do with that?" Brody asked, holding his stomach from laughing so much.

                Olivia looked at the banana in her hand and scowled.  "What do you think I'm going to do?  I'm going to beat you with it."

                Brody lowered his lashes.  "Baby, I have something else a whole lot better that you can beat than that banana in your hand."

                She gasped.  "You perv!" she yelled, hurtling the banana in his direction. 

                He ducked and it splattered against her wall, leaving a nice yellow mushy stain behind.

                Snarling, Olivia stalked towards him and shoved her finger in his chest.  "You need to get out," she told him.  "I'm going to take a shower and when I come back down, I will expect you to be gone.  You hear me?"

                Brody couldn't stop grinning.  "You look so cute when you’re pissed."

                She rubbed her hands over her face.  "You’re un-freaking-believable."

                "I'll take that as a compliment coming from you."

                Olivia shot him a droll look.  "Gone before I get back," she reminded him.  Not wanting to give him any more extra time to come up with one of his witty comebacks, she brushed by him and stomped out of the kitchen.

                Brody watched her leave and when she was out of his sight, he listened to her stomp up the stairs.  He would be gone by the time that she got out of the shower but he would most definitely get in the last word.  "Oh sugar plum," he called out and waited until he heard her stop clamoring up the stairs before continuing.  "I'll be home by six and I expect dinner to be ready and on the table." 

                He was answered with more foot steps and a loud slamming of the bathroom door. 

                His smile widened.  That's my girl.