About a week after the incident with the boat, tensions were still rather high between Irina and Casey. The Lieutenant hadn't said more than a handful of words to her each shift, most of which were just him telling her to stand down on calls. Something that annoyed Irina greatly.

Irina had mulled over what Boden had recommended, that she tell both Casey and Severide about who she really was, but with the way Casey was acting, Irina wasn't too sure if she wanted him to know her secret. She couldn't fully trust him right now and the thought of him telling his fiancée, who would then possibly tell others, well that was a risk Irina simply couldn't take.

So for now, the only person in the firehouse who would know just what she was, was Chief Boden. Although that didn't mean that Irina hadn't thought about telling a certain somebody. Somebody she thought might also deserve to know.

Otis was making his way towards the common room, already looking forward to a nice, big breakfast when he noticed Cruz standing just outside the room, staring through the window.

"Cruz, what are you doing?" Otis asked, coming to a stop beside him and trying to follow his eye line, which wasn't hard given that there was only one person sitting in the direction that Cruz was looking in, and that was Irina.  "Is that... Is she eating-"

"An entire rotisserie chicken? Yeah." Cruz half scoffed out, the two of them just watching as Irina pulled apart the chicken with her hands.

"It's 8.30am... Who even is this girl?" Otis chuckled out a little, not noticing how Cruz just turned to him with a somewhat knowing look on his face.

"Why don't you tell me?" Cruz said with a tone of voice that just made Otis fluster out a cough, clearing his throat as he avoided eye contact.

"W-What do you mean?" He asked, playing dumb when he knew exactly what the look on Cruz's face meant.

"Don't play dumb, Otis. I know she's opened up to you... And I can tell that you like her." Cruz huffed out, just shaking his head a little at the redness that crept up on Otis's face.

"I don't like her." He replied through a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of his head a little as his eyes flicked to Irina then back to Cruz, who just stood with his arms folded and a look on his face that said 'sure okay, whatever you say'. "How did you know?" Otis sighed out, knowing he was beat.

"It's pretty obvious given the way you look at her when you think no one is watching." Cruz said a touch sympathetically as Otis just sighed again, his gaze shifting to the woman in question. "Why don't you just ask her out?"

"Are you crazy?" Otis scoffed out, his attention falling back onto Cruz. "Like she'd ever go for someone like me... And besides, for all we know she could be seeing somebody."

Otis was pretty sure Irina wasn't seeing anybody, given that she'd never mentioned a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend in the whole year she'd been at fifty-one. But then again, she'd barely mentioned anything about herself in that time, so for all he knew, she could actually be seeing somebody. And truthfully, he kind of hoped she wasn't.

"Guess we won't know until we ask." Cruz said with a grin, one that Otis very much did not like, as he began to walk into the common room.

"Cruz, don't you- What are you-" Otis cut himself off, and tried to stop pulling Cruz back, as the two of them now stood next to the table that Irina currently occupied.

"Hey, Irina. How's it going?" Cruz said casually, leaning back against the couch as Otis just stood awkwardly next to him.

"Fine." Irina replied, eyeing the two men with a suspicious look. She could clearly tell something was up, given how Cruz looked a little too relaxed and Otis looked like he was about to spontaneously combust.

"Good, that's good." Cruz said with a nod, his eyes flicking over to Otis before landing back on Irina. "Say, I noticed something... We never see you outside of the firehouse." He added quickly, and with a slight nervous energy to his tone as Irina's eyes had squinted a little as she looked at him.

"There's this bar downtown that a few of us like to hang out at after shift..." Cruz continued, the way Irina wasn't breaking eye contact with him made him rather unnerved as he regretted his choice to play detective. But it was for Otis, who he knew wouldn't do it himself, so he had to keep going.

And speaking of Otis, the poor guy looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole as he just stood with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the ground and wishing he'd never stopped to see what Cruz was doing.

"Maybe you wanna come by tomorrow night? Unless you have plans, of course." Cruz added nervously. "With friends, or-or a boyfriend. Maybe even a girlfriend, I don't know..." He chuckled out, even more nervously as he knew he was going off the rails here.

Even Otis did too, as he had finally looked up from the ground and was just staring at Cruz with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Maybe you could bring them along... If you have one, that is-"

"Cruz." Irina said, cutting Cruz off which was for the best honestly. She didn't know what exactly he was doing, but she wanted it to end. "Let me eat my chicken in peace."

"Yep." Cruz replied quickly, nodding his head before he pushed off the back of the couch, turned on his heels and walked straight out of the common room.

"What was that?" Irina called after Otis, who'd only just spun on his heels about to follow Cruz out and smack him upside the head for being an idiot.

"What was what?" Otis replied casually, once again playing dumb, which once again didn't work.

Especially not with Irina who arched her eyebrow at him before she just shook her head and went back to her chicken, deciding that she actually didn't want to know what that had all been about. But she did have her suspicions, given the way Otis had looked it was obvious that he wanted to know if she was single and that Cruz had took it upon himself to find out.

And no matter how much that made her feel all warm and tingly inside, that Otis was clearly into her, which she had suspected but not yet confirmed as she was new to all these romantic feelings and whatnot. She knew she couldn't give in to her own feelings she was developing for him and she just prayed that Otis would move on from her soon, as she really didn't want him asking her out because that would only end with him getting hurt. And that was the last thing Irina wanted.

Later in the day, when Cruz had recovered from the embarrassment of what had happened this morning, everyone was gathered in the common room. Lunch had just been finished, and those not out on calls were lounging around the common room, either reading newspapers or watching TV.

"Hey, hey, go back a second." Otis said towards Mouch, who was flicking through channels on the TV when something had caught his eye.

Mouch flicked back a few stations, landing on a news broadcast from a Grand Prix race in Monaco, the headline of which attracted the attention of pretty much the entire common room, even Irina who'd been digging into her second plate of spaghetti and meatballs. With extra garlic bread.

"...the assailant, who has now been identified as Ivan Vanko, proceeded to walk onto the race track and attack incoming the cars with what can only be described as electrified whips..." The news broadcaster began, a photo of Vanko appearing beside her on the screen and he was indeed wielding electrified whips.

"That's new." Irina mumbled to herself from her seat at the table. She propped her elbow up on the back of the couch, leaning her chin on her hand as she watched the TV through the gap between Mouch and Otis, the latter of which could sense how close she was to him and it sent a wave of goosebumps across his body.

"Vanko killed two drivers and injured three more before he was was eventually subdued by none other than billionaire Tony Stark, with the help of his security guard Happy Hogan, and the new CEO of Stark Industries, Pepper Potts."

"Whoa, check that out." Otis pointed to the screen, suddenly forgetting how Irina had made him feel as a video began to play, showing the incident from the moment Vanko stepped foot onto the racetrack.

The first whip of Vanko's rather impressive looking weapons easily took out one car. The electric in the whips instantly connected with the fuel tank which exploded the car on impact and sent the burning mess skidding down the track.

At this point the crowds had begun to panic as cries and screams filled the stadium, clearly not affecting Vanko who appeared to be enjoying every second of the chaos he was causing. And it appeared as though he was waiting for someone as after he sent a second car barrelling along the pavement, a grin rose on his face at just who was heading his way next.

Tony Stark.

The first whip to Tony's car sliced off the entire front part, sending the wheels skidding across the track and the remaining half flying through the air with Tony still secured in the drivers seat. Scraps of metal bounced off the barriers and sparks were flying everywhere as Tony's car landed with a thud on the ground.

It skidded along the track, knocking into the remains of the second unlucky car and flipped one last time, landing upside down just a few feet from Vanko, who walked slowly down the track. The electric from the whips pulsed as Vanko flicked them a little, sending a few sparks flying out the end as he approached the wreck of Tony's car.

Chaos continued to erupt on the racetrack as the remaining drivers rounded the corner, doing their best to avoid the carnage around them. One car hit the breaks, swerving to the side and knocking into another, which flipped it forward and sent it flying through the air. A couple more cars crashed into each other, causing a huge explosion behind Vanko, who once again seemed unfazed at what he was causing.

"Dear God." Mouch mumbled, watching in horror as the flames rose from the wreckage of the cars, wheels and metal going flying through the air.

"Check this out." Cruz spoke up from his seat at the long table. He spun his laptop around, a tweet showing on screen. "People are already naming this guy."

"Yeah? What do they call him?" Otis asked curiously, his eyes shifting between the laptop screen and the TV screen, which showed a close encounter between Vanko's whip and Tony's you know what.

"Whiplash."

"Damn, if this guy hadn't just killed a bunch of people I'd say that's pretty badass." Otis breathed out, unsure whether he should find that cool or not considering what 'Whiplash' had just done.

Irina just smiled to herself at Otis's obvious excitement over the situation, his clear love for all things superhero and supervillain fully on show. She may hate superheroes but she couldn't deny that Otis was rather cute when he got all excited.

Part of Irina wondered what he'd think of her name, The Red Widow. Would he think it was badass too or would he say she could do better? She low-key hoped it was the first one, but she knew she'd never find out as she planned to take that part of her life to the grave with her. Or at least, she hoped to.

"Oh, oh, Tony's suiting up." Otis added even more excitedly as he kept patting Mouch on the arm until he swatted his hand away. "Here comes Iron Man."

"Bored now." Irina mumbled, pushing herself backwards off the couch and turning back around in her chair to finish her lunch. She could hear the thruster sound of Tony's suit and the electric pulsating of Vanko's whips, but she was no longer interested, not when the suit had made an appearance.

Irina missed the part of the news broadcast that showed the aftermath of the incident, as the emergency service rolled up and Tony was nearly swarmed by members of the press. She missed him giving a speech to the cameras, missed him giving thanks to his security guard and CEO for their help. But most of all she missed the familiar redhead who followed along behind them...

The rest of the shift consisted of talk about theories on who Whiplash was, and why he had it out for Iron Man, something Irina wasn't interested in and didn't exactly care about. They'd had a few calls, all of which Irina was made to just stand around as Casey still wouldn't let her do anything, which made her look even more forward to joining squad. But eventually the sun settled in the sky and the darkness crept in.

Thankful that nighttime had finally come and she didn't have to listen to anymore talk of Iron Man versus Whiplash, Irina happily relieved Mouch of his night watch duties, allowing him to head to bed like the rest of the house. Irina didn't sleep on shift anyway, so there was no point in someone else having to stay awake.

Only tonight, Irina began to feel sleepy as she scrolled through her phone, mainly through Russian and Hungarian news sites as she was trying to find anything that could help her find Yelena. It had been two years since the Red Room had fallen and she'd still had no luck in finding her sister... And it was starting to annoy her.

But soon enough, after finding a steaming pile of nothing, she fell asleep.

Irina had only been asleep for about an hour when Otis came shuffling into the common room, having awoke from his own slumber in desperate need of a glass of water. He was a little surprised to see Irina asleep, as he couldn't recall ever seeing her sleeping in the firehouse. That and she was supposed to be on night watch, but he couldn't exactly bring himself to wake her up when she looked so peaceful.

Little did he know that she only looked peaceful because her nightmares hadn't set it yet.

Deciding to just let Irina sleep, as night watch was pointless most days as no one ever tried to break in or mess with their rigs, the unspoken rule of not messing with firefighters, Otis tiptoed slowly past her towards the sink to get a drink, which was rather hard as he didn't want to make a sound in case he woke Irina up. But he managed to be quiet, quieter than he'd ever been before, and after quenching his thirst, he decided to take the shortcut through the briefing room and back to his bunk.

Only, just as he was about to head through the door, and after he took one last look back over at Irina, he spotted the blanket that lay draped across the back of the couch. Otis himself could feel the slight chill in the firehouse air, and he was wearing a hoodie, so he could only imagine that Irina must be cold given that she was only wearing a short sleeved t-shirt.

So, deciding to do something he'd seen many times in movies and tv shows, yet never done himself, he carefully grabbed the blanket and went to lay it over Irina, who looked just as beautiful asleep as she did when she was awake. Otis felt his heart warming a little as he looked down at her while he unfolded the blanket, only that feeling didn't quite last...

Otis had barely let go of the blanket after gently covering Irina with it when her felt her hand grab hold of his wrist, and rather tight as it sent a shooting pain up his arm. The next few seconds went by in a blur as Otis was soon being flipped over the couch and landed with a rather loud thud on the coffee table. And with Irina's foot pressing down hard on his chest as her rather dark eyes found his.

"Irina..." Otis half groaned out, it feeling like there was a huge weight on his chest. And not a metaphorical one either, an actual one. "It's me. It's Otis."

His words took a second to get through to Irina, who seemed almost like she was in a trance as her eyes were incredibly dark and glazed over as her fingers dug hard into Otis's wrist. Her grip on him eased as her eyes returned to normal and she slowly removed her foot from his chest, allowing him to breathe properly, something that low-key hurt and he figured he'd end up with bruises in the morning.

"Otis." Irina breathed out, her face falling as she'd realised what she had done.

Nightmares weren't the only reason Irina didn't want to sleep in the firehouse as this exact moment had been something she feared would happen.

"I'm so sorry. I- Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" She asked almost frantically, debating whether to help him up or just leave him alone as she wasn't sure if he'd want her to touch him after what she'd just done.

"I'm fine." Otis replied, hoping his voice didn't sound too strained as he sat up, his back hurting a little as he did. "Really, I'm good." He added, flashing Irina a smile that dropped as quickly as it formed, his hand landing on his back that had begun to throb a little.

"God, I must have fallen asleep... I didn't even realise... I'm so, so sorry." Irina said quietly, cursing herself for falling asleep.

This exact situation was one of the main reasons why she could never confess her feelings for him or act on them. Or be with anyone, whether it be Otis or somebody outside of the firehouse. She was dangerous and unpredictable. Especially when she was sleeping. The other night she'd been asleep in her apartment when she felt a bug, or something touch her leg, and the next thing she knew she was was awake with her gun pointing towards it.

Being with someone, sharing a bed with them? Well that would just be a disaster waiting to happen.

"Hey, it's okay." Otis said softly, ignoring the pain in his shoulder blades from when they'd smacked against the wood. He took a few steps towards her after he'd stood up, but Irina just shook her head gently and backed away from him.

"Don't... I don't want to hurt you again." Irina half whispered, not wanting to take any chances if he were to touch her. It's not that she'd ever hurt him on purpose, but in the state she was in now, she didn't want to risk her body doing something that her mind, and her heart, would regret.

Otis's heart almost broke at the sound of Irina's voice, the way she had her arms folded tightly across her chest and was avoiding eye contact with him. He needed her to know that she could never hurt him. Sure what had happened did hurt, but that was his fault. He'd clearly startled her and while her reaction wasn't exactly normal, and he had no idea how she'd managed to literally flip him over the couch, it was probably justified given the way she'd grown up.

She'd probably been terrified to sleep in that orphanage over the fear of what might have happened to her, so it was no surprise to him that she was a angry sleeper. And it was also no surprise to him that she chose not to sleep in the firehouse as a lot of the time, people were startled awake.

"Irina, you could never hurt me." Otis began, his voice soft as he carefully moved closer to her, feeling a touch of success when she didn't back away from him. "What happened was my fault. I shouldn't have startled you like that... I just..." He sighed out, wondering if he should tell her what he'd been doing. Although if he didn't, then that might have seemed a little creepy.

"I thought you might have been cold, so I uh, I was putting the blanket over you." Otis said a touch quietly, watching as Irina's head moved slightly to her right, her eyes finding the discarded blanket that lay on the floor.

"Oh." She whispered, chewing at her lip a little as she didn't quite know what to feel right now other than the unwelcome flutter in her stomach.

Damn Otis and his sweet and caring nature.

Irina took a breath, her harsh grip on her own arms easing as she let go, allowing them to fall back down to her sides. Her eyes closed for a split second and when they opened, she was looking back up at Otis, who always was rather patient with her in situations like this. Ones where she didn't quite know what to say, or what to do next as she'd never been in a situation like this before, something Otis often seemed to realise.

"That uh... That was very thoughtful of you... Thank you." She added with a warm smile, feeling a touch of relief when Otis returned the smile. "And I'm sorry I, uh... I'm sorry I flipped you over the couch."

"Hey don't worry about it." Otis replied, subtly trying to figure out whether her flustered nature was over his gesture, one which he assumed she'd never had done for her before, or whether it was because she was also harbouring some feelings towards him. Part of him hoped it was both.

Which it was, but only Irina knew that.

"That was a, uh, a hell of a move." Otis said with a hesitant chuckle, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "You must really be stronger than you look."

"It's just... Adrenaline, I guess." Irina shrugged, once again cursing herself for almost outing her secret to someone else. But as she stood there, staring deep into Otis's eyes as the two of them just stayed silent, neither of them quite knowing what to do next, she was beginning to wonder whether she should just tell him the truth.

Irina knew that if there was one person who deserved to know some of the truth about her, it was Otis. What with how caring he was towards her and how he'd always been there to comfort her on days when everything just felt like too much, she figured the least she could do would be to tell him the truth. But could he handle it?

Sure Otis had a love for all things superhero, for Iron Man and Captain America. But could he handle knowing that Irina was like the Captain? That the same serum that created him was currently coursing through her veins? Could he handle finding out that her father was the very myth that they'd once argued about?

Irina could only hope so, as come a few hours after the end of shift, she found herself standing outside his front door, about to tell him exactly what she thought he deserved to know. She figured telling him in private, outside of the firehouse, where it was guaranteed that no one would be listening would be the best idea as she couldn't risk anyone else hearing what she was about to say.

It was rather weird for Irina to be about to see Otis outside of the firehouse as she never had in the year since she joined, but part of herself almost excited about it. And yet another part of her felt nervous as she wasn't sure what Otis's reaction would be to any of what was about to happen.

Taking a deep breath, Irina knocked gently on the door, rocking back and forth on her heels until she heard the faint footsteps inside grow louder, and soon enough, the door opened.

"Irina?" Otis said in what seemed to be shock, Irina being the last person he'd ever expected to see outside his door. He half expected it to have been his mother who actually lived a few doors down from him, but she always just walked on in and never bothered knocking.

But this? Irina standing on his front porch, wearing regular clothes instead of her station gear? Her hair down from his usual up-do and flowing neatly down her back and over her shoulders? This was a much more welcome sight for him to see.

"What are you doing here?" He asked curiously, a thousand reasons she could be here floating inside his head. Only none of them were what she was actually here for.

"I hope you don't mind, I, uh, I got your address from the Chief." Irina said a little nervously, her words being a little bit of a white lie as she'd actually gotten his address about a year and a half ago when she'd run an extensive background search on all of the guys.

"No, of course, I don't mind." Otis replied, the knowledge that she'd asked Boden for his home address making his stomach flutter furiously. "Do you want to come in?"

"Sure." Irina nodded, Otis taking a step back as he held the door open for her, allowing her to enter his house. Which he was so glad he'd tidied up the other day otherwise that would have been embarrassing for him. Not that Irina would have cared as she practically lived in squalor.

"What's up?" Otis asked after closing the door and following her into the living room, where she was looking around at some of his memorabilia, like his viper helmet for example.

Irina turned back to him, not having a clue what any of the items Otis had around his house were from. Her eyes met his and she took a rather deep breath... Here goes everything.

"I need to tell you something... And I'm not quite sure if you're going to like it."

-
hehe another cliffhanger (please don't hate me!)

i hope y'all liked this chapter! i was afraid that it was maybe a little messy and i was worried the iron man 2 part was too quick or something? like maybe i should have fleshed out the scene a bit more but then i remembered that this is irina's (and otis's) story so i think it was okay? i hope it was anyway

and i also hope that this story isn't feeling too dragged out?? i mean, we're 12 chapters in and we aren't even halfway through iron man 2 yet, and we haven't even stepped foot into thor either... and we are still two years away from season one of chicago fire...

but i think maybe it's important for it to be sort of slow paced as it's about irina adjusting to normal life and dealing with regular people things, like feelings for example! and this is going to be a slow burn, a pretty long one at that as it is going to take irina some time to come to terms with the fact that her feelings won't go away just because she doesn't like them. and that love isn't something that can easily be repressed!

spoiler alert
even when they do finally confess their feelings to one another it's not going to be smooth sailing from there! angst i tell you! angst!

but anyway, hopefully once we get past iron man 2 and thor, and after a year time jump to 2012 (avengers assemble and s1 of fire) then things won't seem so slow!

i hope y'all are enjoying the book anyway! and if you liked this chapter please don't forget to vote and maybe comment? always appreciated and i love reading your comments and your thoughts!

sorry for rambling!

okay bye