Silas was talking to me, but I couldn't hear him. I held the red crystal in my arms and sat at the edge of my bed. The pain inside of me is unbearable. The severed mate bond caused everything inside of me to feel like vicious flashes of fire that lick and strike like a snake. Death seemed less painful. It would be easier to just end it and disappear from this world.

I've tasted happiness. I've experienced love and seen light. How could I go back to living in a world where there was no beginning or end? An endless life of loneliness?

Silas's face appeared in front of my blurred vision. He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me hard. He was talking, but I couldn't hear him. Silas went for the crystal and that snapped me out of my stupor.

"Don't touch it!" I roared.

"Stop this. She's gone, Atlas. You have to be strong."

Ophelia's last words echoed in my mind. She also asked for me to be strong, but for once, I don't want to.

"Leave me alone."

"Atlas-"

"Leave me alone!" The anger in voice echoed throughout the room and into the empty hallways.

Silas pulled back and shook his head. He walked out of the room and I allowed the hindering pain to swallow me. An endless blanket of sorrow and despair. A pain that grips at my heart like a vice.

No amount of words could express the pain I was feeling. It felt like broken glasses were tearing through my internal organs. While my entire body was set into an endless flame. I felt physical pain from head to toe, but what hurt the most was my heart. I don't think I have ever felt so much torture.

"Ophelia," I whispered and felt my heart clench with a vise that made it hard for me to breathe.

I don't know how long I sat in that position. Daylight turned into night. Night turned into daylight. The day came and went, but I'm still in pain.

I miss her.

There was an empty hole in my heart.

This constant feeling of something missing.

"I won't be gone. I'll be right next to you. Right in your heart. Whispering in your ear. Lying down next to you at night. I'll be your support. I'll love you even after death."

Her words echoed through my mind. A glanced out the window and saw the bright, full moon. I remembered it was morning, but it was clearly night. I don't know how long I sat in that position, unmoved. I stood up from my spot and walked to the window. Looking at the night sky, the stars were out. One particular star glistened in the sky. It shined brighter than the others.

"Let me ask you something."

"What?" he asked.

"Do you think when people die, they turn into stars in the skies?"

Ophelia's words echoed through my mind.

Was it her?

"Ophelia," I whispered and touched the window with my fingertip.

Ophelia's death was still unbelievable to me. It was just a few days ago, I held her in my arms and felt her warmth. Why did it happen so suddenly? Why was happiness so short-lived?

I sat on the sofa next to the window. As I eyed the glistening star, I didn't expect that this would be my favorite spot for the next several years.

As days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into years. Before I knew it, it's already been a decade since her passing.

My love for her only grew and although I missed her terribly, my endless longing for her became a peaceful acceptance. I often imagine life after death. When I am finally free of the world and worried, would I see her again?

Tonight, I sat by the window in my bedroom again. The red crystal next to me was on a nightstand. A bottle of Ophelia's blood mixed with liquor next to it. She knew her death was near and bled herself slowly for me. Her blood lasted me for a decade and could last me for several decades more.

I heard my bedroom door open. Silas walked into the room and sat on the edge of my bed.

"It's been a decade already and I still haven't given up hope. I keep hoping she'll appear again before me." I reached for my glass of mixed liquor. I took a sip and looked at the glistening star.

"I don't know when she started planning, but it looks like she has planned everything from the moment she found herself mated to you. She secretly bled herself daily for you. Even in her last breath, she thought about your future."

My free hand tightened into a fist on my thigh because the pain in my chest hasn't lessened these past few years. It lingered like an implanted needle in my chest. Each throb bled and hurt more.

These years of missing Ophelia, I cannot entertain the idea of another woman. For a damned, immortal soul such as myself to achieve this kind of self-reliance without my mate was enough.

"Is it me or is the crystal gleaming less today?" Silas questioned.

My eyes dropped from the stars to the crystal. The light of the crystal was dissipating. I know this because I carried it everywhere I went. It attended every event, conference, and banquet I went to. There wasn't a day it left my side.

It was the only thing left from her.

Her scent no longer lingered on the bedsheets. Her presence in the room was there, but wasn't there. I could recall every single memory and caress we had together in this room, but it did nothing to bring her back.

"I don't know what to do, Silas. That is all that I have left from her. What if one day—what if one day, I no longer have this? What would I do? How would I be able to survive the pain?"

"You survived before. You should be able to survive now."

"She asked me to be happy, but did she realize my happiness lies with her?"

"We have searched for an answer for years, Atlas. I don't know what to say. No one knows the answer to our questions. This curse is an old and forbidden language. Everything about it seemed to have disappeared from earth. To find someone to even know a little about it would be almost impossible because we would need to find someone with great cultivation and power, and that is impossible."

Then do I wait for the moment it stops glowing?

Should I suffer through the same pain when I felt her life slipping through my fingers?

The helplessness was eating me up inside.

I rubbed at my temples with my fingers and scratched my jawline. The frustration grew. I don't know what to do.

"I want to be alone." I didn't want Silas to witness my despair.

Silas seemed to realize it and stood up. After he left, I picked up the mixed glass and threw it at the wall. It shattered all over the floor. I tore through my bedroom—destroying everything in my path. When there was nothing left, I dropped onto my knees and cried into my bloodied hands.

Where do I go from here?

A broken soul like mine has no beginning, no end, no home, and no future.

It felt like all the walls were closing in and even when I tried to keep madness at bay; I was losing control. Sanity slowly turning into insanity.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw the crystal glow. I got up and walked to the crystal. Picking it up from the nightstand, I slid down the wall and sat on the cold floor. Hugging the crystal in my arms, tears stung my eyes as they slid down my face. I clenched my jaw to stop myself from vocalizing my pain.

Looking down at the crystal, I watched the light dim more and more. I touched it with shaky, bloodied fingertips.

"Are you leaving me? What am I going to do without you? Ophelia, please. Please tell me you'll come back."

I brought the crystal up to my face and cried into it. My tears stain the icy surface. In this cold, tattered room, I felt the familiar hopelessness I felt a decade ago.

I don't know how long I sat like that. I cried and begged, but there was no one there to hear my pleas. I don't know how it happened, but I ended up falling asleep on the cold floor.

When I finally woke up, it was morning and the sun was burning at my skin. A few more minutes and I might develop a second degree burn.

I sat up and noticed something different.

I looked down in my arms and noticed that the crystal was extremely cold. My hand caressed the surface. Something was wrong. The light in the crystal was no longer there.

"What's happening?" Panic sets into my vein.

My heart is racing and my ears are ringing.

"No..." I touched the crystal all over.

Suddenly, the crystal began falling apart in my arms. It started at the top. Falling apart and turning into little grains of sand.

"No!" I roared and grabbed for the bits and pieces.

But it was useless.

The crystal was disappearing.

What was happening?

"I don't understand. Please tell me what to do. What's happening?" Tears clouded my vision and a second later, I held nothing in my arms or hands. It was as if the crystal never existed.

The last of her disappeared in front of me.

I couldn't save it like I couldn't save her.

My skin burned and I could feel my side burning hot. Redness and blisters appeared. The door swung open and Silas came running inside. The second he saw me on the floor, unmoved, he ran towards me.

Grabbing me, he pulled me away from the sun.

"What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to kill yourself?" Silas roared.

I couldn't move. A painful numbness has deeply rooted itself into my bones.

"Get a doctor!" Silas roared at someone. He carried me over to the bed and then moved to close the shades. The pain in my right side was nothing to the pain in my chest.

Maybe this was for the best.

Maybe if I died, I would be able to see her again.

My eyes closed as I allowed unconsciousness to succumb.