𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐂𝐄 : 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐈

❝ i'm meaner than my demons ❞
stuarts: hooked onto a nightmare

──

The shrillness in the winter cold couldn't be any colder; the little breaths on the glass panel froze and warmed up. The chimney was lit and there were no children outside making snow angels afraid they will get frostbites. Lisa was warm on the sofa with a blanket cloaking her, sipping on the hot chocolate and biting onto the marshmallows.

"The weather is quite wonderful, isn't it?" a deep voice resonated, stirring the cup of hot chocolate in his hands with a spoon. "Yes, wonderful enough to turn living things into an ice statue. Is the snow queen's reign starting or what?" she chuckled thawing her hands with the warm cup." Taehyung sat just right next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Winter is really beautiful. Such mysteries and myths she holds inside her, locking it all into the pandora box afraid to let them all go. Wouldn't she be the love of every lonely heart?" Taehyung rumbled his words, pouring out his conscience in them. "Ew, So now you are a poet now? it's fugly," still on his shoulder, she cringed.

Taehyung nodded his head, "she is the beauty in pain, Emy. Pain is the cure to everything and beauty sugarcoats everything. Winter is just...wonderful. I can't help but, pour my heart into it." Lisa shrugged nonchalantly, feeling the bittersweet taste of chocolate melt into her throat. "If you love winter that much, maybe we could go on a drive you know. And it's night, the view will be pretty!" she exclaimed proudly, happy with her choice.

"Yes, but the drive wouldn't be safe. Safety first," he added trying to convince his stubborn sister. But sadly, Lisa inherited most of her traits from the woman who gave birth to her and stubbornness was her most infamous trait. "Please, brother. It would be just around near the mansion, I promise I would even wear my seat belts! please," her pupil lines expanded, trying to persuade him into agreeing to her request.

"This is stupid," he sighed taking a sip from his mug. "Father has spoilt you way too much. It's fine, but only one round. If you agree to my terms, I will come with you," he smiled under his monotone expression. Lisa's face lit up and she hugged him tight, "you're the best brother ever! Love ya." He nodded slowly. Lisa dragged him outside and shoved him into the car and for a response, he only giggled. 

The snow was piling up and the snowflakes misting the car shield wasn't much help for Lisa to drive. "Maybe we should go soon Emy, the weather is getting worse," he said looking from the rear mirror but, Lisa only stepped on the accelerator harder and drove off hurriedly. Taehyung was thrown back at his seat and he widened his eyes, "I said enough, Lili. Slow down."

She didn't listen to him and changed the gear, a wide grin plastered on her lips. "Emy, sto-," but before he could finish the line he was interrupted by a loud thump. Lisa suddenly panicked feeling the force on the front of the car and she immediately hit the brakes.  They both glanced at her other for a second and ran outside, their eyes widening more at the scene.

Blood was plunging out of the back of his head as his eyes were open motionlessly. Lisa whimpered falling back on the car, looking at the child she killed. He was wearing an orange hoodie and grey trousers, now the color was replaced with red. Taehyung felt the pace of his heartbeat grow, "What have you done?" Lisa couldn't stop the tears pouring out of her eyes, bleeding salt.

The little boy's body was out of breath and he had no pulse. His blood was stained on the front of the yellow-colored car that would never be washed out. This one day, this one moment, this one mistake flipped the life of the Stuarts and tore them apart into two sides.

***

"It was a goddamn child, Liam. How possibly could you have the heart to pay that mistake with money?" Their mother hysterically yelled at her husband who has Lisa hiding behind his broad shoulder. Taehyung was on the sofa near his mother, hands on his head contemplating. "She is a child too, Camila. She is our daughter. Do you want me to hand her over to the police? I will do anything from my side to keep her safe. Anything!" he yelled back at her, hugging his crying daughter from the back.

Camila marched angrily towards him, shoving her fingers into his chest glaring, "Anything? So, you won't even listen to your own wife? This is a goddamn murder, Liam. Why are you so blind when it comes to your daughter? Of course, I love her too but, this is madness. You can't keep her safe this way." Her husband disapprovingly sighed, showing her that he will never change his decisions.

Things started to take a whole turn from that day. The father and daughter on one side and the mother and son on the other side, they fell apart. Taehyung and Lisa couldn't even look at each other anymore, Liam (father) and Camila (mother) had started to fight verbally and after a few days, it became physical.

Taehyung has seen his mother with bruises on her forehead and sliced scars in her arms. He couldn't bear to see her like that anymore, it fumed him. He blamed it all on Lisa, the state they are in, and the reason for this chaos. Whenever they crossed their paths he would mumble at her, "you belong behind the bars."

Lisa wasn't in joy with this chaos either. It mentally broke her, and all her internal thoughts pointed at her and taunted, 'this is all your fault'. It wasn't necessarily her wish to kill a young child and hurt her family and herself, she would give anything to turn back the time and set things right.

The time in the clock showed it was almost 3.am and Taehyung stood up from his bed brushing his eyes. His stomach grumbled in hunger and he walked towards the kitchen to fetch an apple. Taehyung felt nausea and fear rush into his guts when he saw his mother holding a kitchen knife in her hands with an unexplainable smile on her lips, blood trailing from her fresh wounds.

"Mother!" he howled rushing at her and attempting to get the knife from his mother but, she dodged quickly eyeing him. "M- Mom, hand over the knife! what are you doing?" he cried out loud feeling the cold temperature occupying the room. Camila wasn't shaken and didn't seem like she worrying about the physical pain but, she only laughed. As if the pain drugged her with happiness.

"It doesn't h- hurt anymore," she hiccupped holding the knife dear to her chest. "A- At first when your father had slapped me in my face, it hurt like hell. I wanted to hit him back or run away. But now, this pain, it's beautiful. It's addicting. It's divine," her eyes sparkled when she looked at the bloody knife. Taehyung had the urge to vomit, listening to her words and watching her expressions scared. 

"Give it to me. Please stop this nonsense mother, you're scaring me," he threw his hands at her trying to grab the knife but, she dodged once again. "My daughter killed someone and now my son is trying to kill my happiness. Is this how you repay your mother's kindness?" she cried, tip-toeing to keep a distance from Taehyung.

With all these attempts, Taehyung accidentally hurt himself. The knife sliced his skin and he bled, he pulled his thumb closer and glared at the crimson liquid. "Y- You like it, don't you? The pain? It's godsent!" she yelled like a madwoman and grabbed his shoulders, staring into his soul. Taehyung felt warm tears falling from his eyes. What have you become, Mother?

Lisa, who was listening to all this ruckus behind the walls felt her breath become heavier. Tears streaming from her eyes and she closed her mouth to prevent the noise.

***

The next morning Taehyung woke up with an unsettling feeling of a void in his stomach. He hugged himself while walking in the hall of his house, and felt fear dominate him when he thought about last night. What kind of monster has his mother become? he was so afraid to even look her in the eye and now every time he sees her, only the bloody knife and her vile words would pop up in his mind.

He strolled inside the manor for almost half an hour but, he hasn't seen his mother anywhere. He was somehow grateful but, something inside him wasn't so, he ran to his father's room fast. "Where is she?" he asked resting his head on the door panel, glaring at his father. "Who?" he asked back, not averting his gaze from his laptop.

"Mother?"

"Oh, yeah. Where she belongs, In the mental asylum.

"WHAT?"

"I know what I said."

Taehyung stomped his way towards his father and grabbed his collar, boring his eyes into his. "What the hell did you do?" he yelled between the red line. "Brother, stop it. He is right. Mother had gone mad, what choice do we have?" Lisa intervened in their conversation, hanging her head low when she answered him. "You don't have the right to call me brother! What do you even know about her, murderer?"

Being called a murderer by her brother shot an arrow straight through her heart. She can't complain, she deserved it. If her mother belongs in a mental hospital, she belongs in jail. "I know what happened yesterday, Taehyung. I was so scared by her behavior so I told father. It was the right decision at the moment," biting the bullet, she said.

Taehyung's eyes were filled with disappointment when he looked at Lisa, tears threatening to fall. "I hate you," he gritted his teeth. "I hate you so much."

──

❝ i'm bigger than these bones ❞

+ IMPORTANT: I'm not supporting or glorifying self-harm as an individual person. please, do not attempt to self-harm or hurt yourself intentionally. It's not worth it. Using physical pain as a coping mechanism is absolutely ridiculous. If you feel like doing it, please contact someone you trust and talk to them. My dms are open if you want an ear to listen. Kindly, don't ever hurt yourself, your mother didn't carry and nurture you in her womb for nine months only to see you like this.