❝ やれること なんだってやる
あたしは賭け狂いのクイーン❞

xiv. disappointment: vividly monotone

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The humidity in the air was increasing little by little like a toddler taking small steps to reach his mother. Lisa couldn't feel the beauty of nature embracing the surroundings with its freshness since she was inside the well-built car which didn't allow her to enjoy the drive. She was panicking; nervous sweat was trailing down her neck and to her razor-sharp collar bones. Many years after she feels that uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach in a fear of losing.

Opposite to her was the café society, the place where they offer the best parmesan fries but, bitter coffee. If this was just a casual drive to the school, she would have definitely stopped by to buy the chef's special today. She was feeling unlucky even though she knew deep down that this was her own carelessness for missing out on such a simple yet prominent clue.

Lisa shifted the gear to 3 and speeded off to the place where they started. According to Lisa's point of view of life, she always believed in an afterlife. After death, our soul will leave its mortal body and go around to be reborn as a mortal human again. She believes that everyone has a source of energy in them, and after death, it gets released. The energy can't be destroyed, so in order to save the world from getting over deposited of energy, nature practices recycle. Lisa never supported the idea of we only live once. You die, you get reborn, and you suffer for your past sins.

The complicated clue of deception which was given first was truly a deception, not figuratively speaking. That clue was given to divert the attention of racers from the second clue which actually had the answer. Grown-up people during a competition, honestly speaking all the time tends to overthink and over evaluate everything. As a kid, we never overthought anything, we never hesitated to ask an army officer why he has a nasty scar on his cheeks, we never hung back to bite the person who tried to steal our favorite teddy bear, we never stalled to go hug our crying mother but now? overthinking became our basis. From the morning choosing our coffee drink on the way to the office, to choosing a fashionable tee to wear for attending the friend's party, we think more than once. Overthinking is not totally negative, but sometimes it eats up our brains. It's like a parasite, it gets stuck inside our head and the more we feed, the more we make it alive and destroy ourselves.

The answer to the riddle, the ending point was none other than the starting point. It was hard to digest, but to be honest this tested Lisa's witness accordingly. She is swayed by complicated things and is always in the position to neglect small things she thought would be of no use to her. Lisa was nearing the starting point, her heartbeat phase started to pump up faster giving her a feeling that this was her first and last time driving. It was like a drive to the gate of heaven, a beautiful paradise awaiting but, the grim reaper interrupted to make her pay for the sins she committed.

She neared the final destination, the moisty faze before her car windscreen started to lift up and the starting/ending point started to reveal itself. An uncontrollable smile emerged from her face thinking maybe she has won this race. Her car started to speed up more slicing through the wind as she drove her car across the starting/finishing line. The crowd of people was clapping their hands slowly, it was dull for a winner and some were booing. Lisa got off of her car quickly with a bright smile on her face.

Lisa's face dropped when she saw Blaze waving her hand innocently beaming with a smile at her. An unexplainable emotion erupted from her heart as she tried to accept that she lost her game to a newbie. "When did you arrive?" Lisa questioned low as people were booing in the background. Even if you are a god, you lose, you get humiliated, and even if you are a peasant, you win, you get rewarded: this is the law of humanity. 

"I didn't even get inside my car," Blaze replied.

Lisa was crushed inside out, there is no pain worse than losing in the game you created. This is was not technically a car race, but was a mind race and she was supposed to excel that. "I couldn't find the answer for the first riddle so, I just moved onto the second riddle. I was born in a world where they preach this saying a lot 'Life ends where it started, so I guessed that the starting point was the ending point, and luckily, I was correct," Blaze said. Lisa felt like she was talking to a toddler with no worries and believes that the world is all about rainbows and unicorns. Suddenly, roses were thornless.

They both played with no bet, so the only thing they are gonna lose or gain is their reputation and image. Lisa was sure that her career is not gonna be easy from now on, she has to suffer humiliation and clean her hands after causing some casualties. Everyone started to disperse from the gallery to spread the news by calling their school's scandalmonger and gossipers to break the perfect image of Lisa.

Blaze bowed by lowering her head before Lisa respectfully and leave the place by dragging Grayson along with her. Caroline was taken aback by Blaze's sudden action of kindness, she expected Blaze to spit fire and pull Lisa's leg, not bow politely before the one who lost her own game. Lisa slightly bowed her head pulling back her tears and averted her gaze to the place where she felt like someone was watching her.

Lisa gaped her eyes, her pupils dilated as she struggled for breath seeing the person who was deadpan staring at her with cold eyes. She knew this look from him, she has experienced it. It was enough to break her heart more from the inside and her thoughts cripple her apart in pain. The suffering of letting someone down will never subside. The emotion in his eyes was none other than disappointment. Her untold ugly past played in her mind as his eyes reminded her of the day, the day she tried very hard to forget but became a part of who she is now.

And Lisa has many times experienced the look of disappointment from her brother Taehyung.

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❝ I'll do anything I have to
I'm a compulsive gambling queen❞