If The Red didn't exist, my life would be so much easier right now.

After my ordeal with Stephano, I get about an hour of sleep. In the morning, I don't want to get up. I want to see Stephano less than ever.

I'm only pretending to sleep when Jill shakes my back.

"Natalie! Cathy told me to wake all of the girls! She wants us to go to the Dining Room! She says it's a surprise!"

I moan. Dining Room means Stephano.

"Come on, Nat! I wanna know what the surprise is!"

Fine, I think, and get out of bed.

We go downstairs in our pajamas, but so has everyone else.

In the Dining Room, Cathy stands at the front. A large, long object has been set on the counter, and it's covered in a sheet. An unfamiliar man stands in the corner of the room.

Stephano and Susan are in the back. I'm expecting them to wear cold, hard glares when I look at them. But instead I see...interest, and maybe even humor.

I direct my attention to Cathy, who has begun to speak.

"Kids! I have a very special surprise for you today! A local charity has given the orphanage a grant! And they told us to do something fun with the kids!"

The children wait for the surprise with sparkling eyes. I, however, wait with tired eyes.

"With the money," Cathy says, and she gestures to the mysterious object behind her, "I got us" - she pulls off the sheet - "a kayak!"

An orange kayak sits before us, complete with oars and a few life jackets. It's seemingly begging to be set on water.

The children cheer, and Jill pats my arm excitedly.

"We should go on it together!" she says.

I nod my head as I yawn.

I struggle to keep my burning eyes from closing as Cathy explains the plan for the day. We're heading to the lake before lunch, and by then we need to be in our bathing suits and ready to go. Jill can't stop smiling. She's been waiting for months to wear her red tankini.

The kids can hardly contain themselves as they eat breakfast and rush to get ready.

---------------------------------------------

My swimsuit is almost identical to Jill's, except it's a teal color. Together, with Preston's bright green trunks, we make a colorful team.

Cathy has us loaded into two small moving vans. The man who was standing in the corner of the Dining Room earlier drives one, and Cathy drives the other. I'm pretty sure driving orphans around in the back of a moving van would be illegal, but neither Cathy nor the man seem to mind.

For the whole drive, I'm fretting that someone will know there's no furniture in these vans, or find it strange that were parked by a lake with them. But no one does.

Soon the door to the van opens, and there is the driver man. He has short brown hair and a scruffy beard of the same length. So far, I haven't heard him speak.

Cathy steps up behind him, followed by the children from the other van.

"Guys," she says, "this is Rob." She looks me in the eye with a serious expression. I give her a confused look. "He was very kind to come help us get the boat on the water today."

The kids in the truck crawl out. The air is cool and breezy. I can see hills past the tall green trees of the woods which surround our city. The lake water is dark blue and it seemingly sparkles. It's beautiful, even with motor boats sprinkled across it.

The lake is man controlled, but it's hard to believe when it's surrounded by all of this nature.

"This will be so fun!" Jill exclaims.

"Yep!" I respond, grateful for the little nap I was able to snag before we left.

Jill, Preston, and I march toward the lake while Rob and Cathy haul out the kayak.

"Have you ever been on one of these before?" Jill asks me.

"Hmm?"

"A kayak."

"Oh. Yes. Mom and Dad took me all the time."

There's a cement driveway type thing where trucks back up on to unload boats. The twins and I lay down our towels off to the side and sit.

The sight of this place gives me a small, dull, empty ache. But it's not so bad, because these memories are distant, almost unreal.

Rob is pushing the boat into the water. I notice he is wearing swim trucks rather than the faded jeans I saw him in this morning.

"Who's first?" he asks. His voice is deep, but kind sounding. A few children jump excitedly, and he randomly points to Macy Grey, who squeals and claps while he helps her put on a life jacket and then sits her in the kayak.

Jill and I sit on the cement. Preston's on the other side of her.

"Natalie?" Jill says.

"What?" I say.

"How're you supposed to find a boyfriend if you're always at the orphanage?"

Her question takes me by surprise. I whip my head around to look at her. "What?"

She giggles. "You know! You can't find anyone here! Homeschooled!"

My cheeks flush. "Easy. I wait till college."

She laughs at me and as happy as it usually makes me when she laughs, right now I wish she'd stop.

Behind us, Cathy's yelling at Liam for throwing mud at the other children. Many of them play in the shallow water until Rob returns, takes another kid, and so on.

This pattern continues for an hour or so, before Rob comes back, except he isn't pointing at another kid to get in the boat. Instead, he whispers something to Cathy, who nods. He then drives away in one of our moving vans.

"Well, kids," Cathy calls out, "Rob had something to take care of back in town, so I guess we can't use the kayak anymore."

The kids all moan their complaints when I say, "I know how to use a kayak."

Cathy looks my way. "You do?"

"Yeah. I used to go all the time."

"Natalie, it'd be great if you could take the kids out. Would you?"

"Of course."

Some of the kids cheer. I feel pretty happy that I've saved their fun day.

I stand to walk to the pile of life jackets when Preston pipes up behind me, "Can I go first?"

"Sure," I call over my shoulder.

I put on a big black life jacket while Preston climbs in the kayak. I push the boat into the water and hop inside, gaining control of the oars shortly after.

I paddle until my arms are tired, but I do my best to keep going.

Preston eventually lets out an awkward "whee".

I snort, and he chuckles a little.

"Oh, crap. Preston, you don't have a life jacket!" I exclaim.

He tenses. He can't swim. Cathy never had the money for lessons.

I begin to unbuckle my jacket, and then hand it to him.

"Here, use mine," I say. "I know how to swim. But it's highly unlikely anything will happen to us."

"You sure?"

"Mmhmm."

For a few minutes we do nothing as I paddle. I think about what Jill said about me getting a boyfriend. I just roll my eyes at the thought.

I try to think about something pleasant, but all I get is The Red, my parents, Stephano and Susan, and that weird knife set in the crack in the sidewalk.

I can hear a motor boat in the near distance, it's roar slowly rising in volume.

"Would you like to ride a motor boat someday, Preston?" I ask.

"Sure," he says, "but...how?"

"When I'm rich. All of our problems will be solved."

I can almost feel him smiling in front of me, though I can't see his face.

The motor boat's groan is still approaching. I look up. It's about a hundred years away...making a beeline for us.

"Natalie?" Preston says. "Is that motor boat supposed to turn...or...?"

I don't answer, but I'm paddling all of the energy from my arms to divert our direction away from that boat, because it still hasn't turned.

What the heck?! Is that guy drunk? Surely he can see our bright orange kayak!

The boat quickly comes closer, and I can vaguely see the driver - an ominous looking man with sunglasses.

"Preston," I say, and then I yell his name with a voice filled with such pure terror, he jumps.

The motor boat is gaining speed; it'll impact the side of the kayak in a matter of seconds!

"Get out of the boat," I command with my terrified voice. "Stand. Now!"

He struggles to stand up in the wobbly boat, and I get so impatient I shove him off, and he belly flops a few feet away. Thank goodness for that life jacket.

I use all of my strength to push my feet off of the boat, and I'm sure to push Preston when I hit to water to get him further away. I frantically push him, ignoring my muscles screaming for me to stop. But all I can afford to think is, farther, farther, farther!

I can feel the waves from the motor boat, so close behind me....

Water rushes over my head, into my eyes, my mouth, my nose....

I reach my feet up and shove Preston as far away from me as I can before the boat comes colliding with our kayak, not more than seven feet behind me.

"Go!" I yell to Preston before the waves come crashing down on top of me, and I am pulled under.