Chapter Theme: Rescue Me - One Republic

"Reika?! Akala ko next month pa ang uwi mo?"

Mom looked so surprised when I came back to Filimon Heights earlier than expected. Agad niya akong niyakap nang mahigpit at ganun din ako sa kanya. I wanted to tell her the truth but I wasn't sure what was going on too. All I knew was that I had to come home.

"Something came up." I smiled and reverted my attention to Drummer who was running down the stairs with a big smile on his face. I guess he was in the middle of his bath since he was only on his underwear.

"Ate! Ate! Ate!" he kept screaming and giggling happily. 

"Drummer! Don't run!" sigaw naman ni Dad na nakasunod habang may dala pang tabo.

Sinalubong ko si Drummer sa hagdan sabay dipa ng mga kamay ko. Tumalon naman agad ito patungo sa akin at yumakap nang mahigpit. Hinalikan ko at pinanggigilan ang pisngi niya kaya para itong kwitis na nagpumiglas habang tawa nang tawa.

"Buti naman at umuwi ka na!" Natatawang yumakap si Daddy sa amin ni Drummer sabay halik sa noo ko.

"Baho daddy!" sigaw ni Drummer at tinulak ito palayo. Natawa na lang kami.

"Si Slade pala?" tanong ni Mommy. "Nakita ko silang nag-promote sa noontime show kahapon."

"Oo nga? Asan ang batang 'yon? Hanggang ngayon di pa rin ako binibigyan ng bago nilang album," pabirong reklamo ni Dad. "I heard their songs on the radio, pretty good," dagdag pa niya sabay halakhak.

I smiled proudly. I will never not be proud for Slade's accomplishments. Saksi ako sa lahat ng pagsusumikap niya, pati na rin ng Wave Syndicate.

"They're still busy with the album promotions. Simula na po ng tour nila next week. Minsan lang siya mapayagan ng parents niya na mag-leave para sa Wave Syndicate kaya tatapusin na lang muna niya ang nasimulan niya," I explained.

"Kailan uuwi si Kuya Slade?" Drummer pouted. He looked so disappointed. Palibhasa sobrang close na rin nila.

"Soon, little bean. Don't worry, pagbalik ni Kuya Slade marami siyang dalang pasalubong para sa'yo." I kissed him again, trying to make him less sad.

"Si Ate Silver?" He pouted even more. 

"Soon." I smiled. Naawa ako sa kapatid ko.

"Eh si Kuya Wee-wee?" Paiyak na niyang tanong.

Nawalan ako ng lakas para ngumiti. Hinalikan ko na lamang siya sa pisngi at inabot kay Daddy. "Ligo ka na, baho mo na."

Umakyat ako sa kwarto ko dala ang mga maleta ko. Naupo ako sa kama at kinuha ang cellphone kong naka-airplane mode pa. Nang mabalik ko ito sa dati, agad na dumating ang mensahe mula kay Slade.

4:21 PM

Reika:

I have to go home. There's an emergency in the office

I'm really sorry kasi biglaan

There's food in the fridge, microwave mo lang

8:32 PM

Reika's Guy:

Nasa Filimon Heights ka na ba?

Is everything okay?

I can drop all of this and come home

Reika:

Yes i'm okay

Please don't put aside your dreams again

nasimulan mo na, andiyan ka na

ngayon ka pa ba hihinto?

Reika's Guy:

Okay 2 months

just give me 2 months and I'm all yours

Reika:

Don't worry

I'll always support you kahit nandito ako sa Filimon Heights

I'm just so happy that you can finally get to live your dreams

Reika's Guy:

Is everything really okay?

Is this about Magno?

Reika:

I just have to make sure he's okay

All of a sudden there was a knock on the door, moments later, Dad entered with an expression of uncertainty.

"You okay kiddo?" he asked as he sat right next to me. "Nag-away ba kayo ni Slade?"

Umiling ako at ngumiti. "We argue sometimes over petty stuff but we don't really fight."

"Kung ganoon, anong problema? Hindi ka uuwi dito kung walang problema," he asked, worry evident on his eyes. 

"I just can't stop worrying over Magno. It's been weeks since the last time I heard from him. I can't reach his phone too. I have to find him, Dad." I heaved a deep sigh as I leaned my back against the wall. "Siguro naman sapat na ang ilang linggo para makapag muni-muni siya nang mag-isa. Humanda siya dahil kakaladkarin ko siya pabalik ng Filimon Heights."

"'Yan lang ba talaga ang dahilan?" Dad gave me a knowing look. 

I smiled at the thought of Magno.. of all our happy memories together through the years. From the way he annoyed and protected me.

"He used to hate me back when we were kids. He was always so annoyed at my presence, hindi ko nga mabilang kung ilang beses niya akong pinaiyak.... But ever since the accident, he has done nothing but protect me. He's always been there for me on the darkest moments of my life. And when my life was all happiness and rainbows, I had no idea that he was going through something." I felt tears stream down my eyes so I wiped it right away. "It's unfair, I've been unfair. Kahit 'yong sa aksidente... Nakalimutan ko 'yon pero si Magno, hindi. He remembered everything."

He sighed as he stood up. "Nagsisisi tuloy ako kung bakit sinabi ko sa'yo ang totoong nangyari noong mga bata pa kayo."

"No, Dad." Umiling agad ako. "You did the right thing. It was unfair for Magno. Kaming dalawa 'yong muntikang ma-kidnap pero siya lang ang nakakaalala sa lahat ng nangyari. He had been dealing with all the painful memories all alone, when in fact I could've been there, sharing it with him. Gusto kong bumawi sa kanya, Dad."

***

Kinabukasan mismo, nagtungo agad ako sa bahay nina Magno ngunit wala akong naabutan dahil nasa trabaho sina tito at tita samantalang si Tron naman ay nasa isang boarding school na ilang lungsod din ang layo mula sa Filimon Heights. Habang paalis, bigla akong nakatanggap ng tawag mula kay Lolo.

"Reika, hindi mo raw tinapos ang training mo?" Grandpa sounded concerned.

"Kuya Weewee still hasn't come home. I'll look for him," walang pag-aalinlangan kong sambit sabay pasok sa kotse ko. Nilagay ko sa loudspeaker ang cellphone ko bago ito nilagay sa dashboard.

"Your uncle told me that Weewee has been reclusive after graduating college. If you're really worried, I'll hire a private investigator to search for him. But child, you have to respect your cousin's wishes to be left alone--"

"Is he really dead?" My voice came out hard and nonchalant. Napasandal ako sa kinauupuan at napahawak nang mahigpit sa susi ng sasakyan.

"Sino?" Gramps asked.

"The mad man in the woods." I swallowed hard when fragments of memories flashed before my eyes... How that man wearing a ski mask took me as hostage to take control of Magno and how I ran away to get help, getting hit by a car in the process.

"I remember it now, Gramps. Hypnotherapy doesn't really last forever," I added.

The other line remained silent for a couple of moments, until Gramps spoke again, "Your Dad spilled the secret I've kept for so long just to protect you?" His voice was calm but I could sense his seething disdain.

Napailing ako. "No. My nightmares did. Dad only helped me make sense of it."

I heard him sigh and move like he just sat on his swivel chair.

"Alecksander Roy has been dead for 8 long years. He will never hurt you, Addamson, or any other person in Filimon Heights ever again," he assured me and I believed him. Grandpa may have kept lots of secrets but we have promised each other, no more lies.

"I just have to ask you one last thing." I closed my eyes shut.

"Ask away, child."

I moistened my lips as my heartbeat slowed. "Dad said that Magno and I undergone Hypnotherapy to suppress those horrible memories... to make it seem like it was just a nightmare. For years I forgot... but why didn't he?"

"What makes you think he didn't forget?" he asked, a tone of challenge in his voice.

"Because looking back now, I've finally found a reason why he's so protective of me." I bowed my head down, pressing my lips together to stop myself from crying.

"That incident taught your cousin the value of friends and family, how important it is to protect the people you love. Ayokong makalimutan niya iyon. Hindi niya pwedeng--" Hindi ko na masikmura pa ang mga lumalabas na salita mula kay Lolo kaya mabilis kong kinuha ang cellphone ko at pinutol ang tawag.

"I love you, I don't want to hate you," paulit-ulit kong bulong sa sarili.

Isa-isa kong pinuntahan ang mga natitira naming kaibigan sa Filimon Heights. Nagtanong-tanong ako kung sino sa kanila ang nakakita o nakabalita kung nasaan si Magno, ngunit ni isa sa kanila ay wala ring alam.  I even sent messages on our groupchats to reach out to Sawyer, Haji and the others who weren't in Filimon Heights but most of them didn't respond. Not even a seen.

I spent the next couple of weeks  travelling.  From Katalin Island, Redwood, The Campsite, Montival Island—binalikan ko ang bawat lugar na napuntahan namin o napuntahan niya, nagbabakasalaking naroon siya, nagpapakalayo-layo gaya ng gusto niya ngunit hindi ko pa rin siya nahanap. 

I even reached out to some technical analysts just to trace his phone but it wasn't possible considering his phone was turned off.

I grew more desperate and scared as days went by. Something just wasn't right. 

When all my efforts remained futile, I decided to stop working as a lone wolf. I went to Filimon Heights' police station and filed a missing person report. Something had to be done and I was just desperate to find him. 

Kinabukasan nagising ako dahil sa mga boses na nagmumula sa sala. Naabutan ko ang mga magulang ko sa sala, kausap ang mga magulang ni Magno. Dumating sila para ipaalam sa akin na wala na akong dapat na ipag-alala dahil tumawag raw si Magno sa kanila at sinabing okay lang ito at hindi muna babalik ng Filimon Heights. Isa sa mga rason kung bakit hindi namin ito na-contact ay dahil nawala raw ang cellphone nito.

I was frustrated, I could tell Magno was going through something but I didn't even hear from him. He didn't even call or text me anything.

****

"How's my little shit?"

Pikit-mata kong sinagot ang tawag niya habang nakahiga sa kama, walang ganang bumangon o gumalaw man lang. Sa kabila nito, napangiti ako nang marinig ang boses niya.

"I miss you," walang pag-aalinlangan kong sambit. 

"I miss you even more." He chuckled. "Good thing i'm coming back home next week."

Napadilat ako at mas lalong napangiti. Kahit papaano ay gumaan ang pakiramdam ko nang malamang makikita at makakasama ko ulit siya. 

"What gives? I thought you still have 1 month?" I asked.

"Well, the few weeks of touring is enough of an experience for me. Plus, I've had enough of these stinky idiots. I think I'll throw up--"

"Hoy Slade mabaho ka rin!" Natawa ako nang marinig ang boses ni Jao.

"Saglit lang babe, lipat ako. May Hayop! palang nakikinig sakin," natatawa niyang sambit. I heard him taking a few steps, siguro lumayo mula sa trailer na nagsisilbi nilang bahay at sasakyan mula nang magsimula silang mag-tour.

"Can you hear my voice?" he asked.

"Loud and clear." I smiled. 

"How's your day?" he asked again. I could picture him having a smile up his face.

"Been doing great. Busy sa office but okay din naman," I lied flawlessly. Ni hindi ko sinabi sa kanya na ilang linggo na akong hindi pumapasok sa office para lang hanapin si Magno.

"You sure? You sound off?" aniya kaya napalunok ako at naupo sa kama.

"Hindi ah!" I tried to sound like the old cheerful and sarcastic little shit that I was. "Come to think of it, baka sobrang pagod sa office? I don't know." I shrugged as I chuckled.

"Matulog ka na, pahinga ka. See you on Sunday?" he said.

"Can't wait," I smiled even more and ended the call.

Hatinggabi na ngunit hindi pa rin ako makatulog. Nakahiga pa rin ako sa kama habang nakatitig sa kisame. Hindi ako makagalaw, pagod ako pero sa kabila nito, hindi ko pa rin magawang makapagpahinga. Something just feels so wrong. 

"Reika?" I heard Mom's voice as she knocked on the door.

"Po?" The moment I answered, Mom opened the door.

"Saw that your light was still on... Can't sleep again?" She had a gentle smile as she sat on the edge of my bed.

I smiled.

"Your Kuya Weewee again?" she asked.

"I just miss him..." I shrugged. "I miss the good old days with my friends."

"When was the last time you hung out with your friends?" Mom asked curiously.

"Braver's birth?" I chuckled bitterly. "We weren't even complete. Maraming wala, maraming nag-iwasan."

"Reika..." Mom caressed my cheek. I could see concern and sympathy in her eyes. "I think it would be good if you'll hang out with your friends. Talk to them, have fun like old times."

"Drink a little... don't tell your Dad," she whispered and winked.

I laughed. "There's no occasion to celebrate, siguro sa binyag pa ni Braver which is matagal pa ata."

"Kailangan ba talaga ng okasyon para lang magkita-kita ulit?" Mom smiled meaningfully. "Isang simpleng dinner o get-together, sapat naman siguro iyon. Baka nga kulang lang pala ng initiative yang mga kaibigan mo."

I sighed. "Come to think of it, Slade is coming back on Sunday. I could throw him a victory party or something."

"That's good!" Mom beamed. "Slade's Mom called yesterday, chika ng kaunti, she told me that Silver was on Redwood."

"Wait, Silver's on Redwood?!" Napabangon ako sa gulat. "Nasa malapit lang siya at hindi man lang niya sinabi?!"

"Shhh... don't be angry. You miss your friends." Natatawang paalala sa akin ni Mommy kaya kahit papaano ay napangiti ako at bumuntong-hininga sabay taas ng mga kamay ko bilang pagsuko. "While you're at it, pumasok ka na rin sa opisina, alalang-alala na si Stella sa'yo eh."

Tumango akong muli habang may ngiti sa mukha. 

"Good girl." Tumayo si Mommy at naglakad patungo sa pinto.

"Mom," tawag ko sa kanya.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Thanks.. for all always trying to make me feel better." I smiled.

"Anything for you." She walked up to me and hugged me tight, kissing the top of my head. "I love you so much."

"I love you, Mom." I whispered as I hugged her even tighter. 

****

Nang magising, kinuha ko agad ang cellphone ko. Tatawagan ko na sana si Silver pero bigla kong nakita ang isang mensahe mula kay Tron, ang nakababatang kapatid ni Magno.

Megatron:

Ate, may nakita akong isang susi at notebook

parang kay kuya ata

hindi ko alam para saan

Reika:

Padala mo sakin please

it could help me find your brother

Megatron:

okay lang naman siya diba?

Mom and dad told me that he just wants to be alone

Reika:

He's fine

I just want to see him

kahit sandali lang

Megatron:

Uuwi ako

Sasama ako sayo sa paghahanap

Pagkatapos ko sa opisina, tumungo agad ako sa bahay nina Magno. Wala pa sina Tito at Tita pati na rin si Tron kaya naisipan kong pumasok muna sa kwarto ni Magno. Hindi ko na alam kung ilang beses ko nang pinasok at sinuyod ang kwarto niya para lang maghanap ng kaunting ideya kung nasaan siya, sa kabila nito, pumasok pa rin ako at nagbasakali.

Habang iniisa-isang muli ang bookshelf niya, narinig kong bumukas ang pinto.

"Ate!"

Agad akong napangiti nang makita si Tron. Agad ko siyang niyakap nang mahigpit. Sobra ko siyang na-miss.

Tron was already 16, taller than I was, but in my eyes he will forever be one of my baby brothers. Para sa akin siya pa rin iyong Tron na lagi naming kinukulit ni Magno.

Hindi nag-aksaya ng oras si Tron, kinuha niya agad sa backpack niya ang isang maliit na notebook na kulay itim. It was an address book.

Agad ko itong binuklat. Wala itong ibang laman kundi isang pahina na puno ng mga address at isang susi na nakaipit sa gitna. Kung hindi ko lang nakikilala ang penmanship ni Magno, aakalain kong hindi ito sa kanya.

"Why would your brother have this?" Hindi ko napigilang magtanong habang pinagmamasdan ang higit sa sampung address na nakasulat dito.

"Hindi ko rin alam... ni hindi ko alam bakit nasa akin 'yan. Nakita ko lang habang nag-aayos ako ng mga gamit sa dorm." Tron was as confused as I was.

"Pero ate, okay naman si Kuya diba? I mean, tumawag nga siya kay Mommy at Daddy diba?" aniya pa, halata ang pag-aalala sa mukha.

Tumango ako at pilit na ngumiti. "Siya na mismo ang nagsabi sa mga magulang mo na okay lang siya. Miss na miss ko na lang talaga siya kaya gusto ko siyang hanapin." 

Tumango siya. "Anong plano mo? Ate, gusto kong tumulong."

"I don't know yet but as soon as I have one, tatawagan agad kita." I lied flawlessly as I raised the address book with a smile.

Something didn't feel right. Kahit tumawag na si Magno sa mga magulang niya, hindi pa rin ito sapat sa akin. Pakiramdam ko'y mapapalagay lang talaga ako oras na makita at makausap ko siya nang personal. At pakiramdam ko nang mga sandaling iyon ay makakatulong sa akin ang address book.

Sa sobrang desperasyon ko, wala akong pakialam kahit gabi na. Pinuntahan ko ang unang address na nakasulat lalo't nasa katabing lungsod lang naman ito ng Filimon Heights.

I didn't know what I was thinking. I guess I just got too desperate to find Magno even if my leads felt random.

I drove for about two hours until I realized that I was already in the middle of nowhere. Hindi na kongkreto ang kalsada at bilang na lang ang mga bahay na nadadaanan ko. Mabuti na lang at kahit papaano ay may mga streetlights pa rin. 

Tutal may block number naman ang address, napagpasyahan kong bumaba na lamang mula sa kotse ko upang pagmasdan ang bawat numering nakaukit sa mga gate at makapagtanong-tanong na rin sa mga nakatira.

Dala ang cellphone ko, lakas-loob akong naglakad-lakad sa maputik na daan. Inisa-isa ko ang mga bahay na nadaanan, swerte naman at may ilan sa kanilang nakakaalam kung nasaan ito ngunit nang ipinakita ko ang litrato ni Magno, hindi naman ito pamilyar sa kanila.

Sa kabila nito, nagpatuloy ako sa pagtunton ng bahay ayon sa nakasaad sa address book na hawak ko.

"Naman oh..." Bulong ko sa sarili ko nang mapansin kong wala nang streetlight sa paroroonan ko ngunit may natitira pang isang lumang bahay.

Panay ang pabulong kong mura habang naglalakad sa putikan. Lalo pa akong nainis dahil lumalakas ang huni ng mga kuliglig at mas humahaba pa ang mga talahib.

Pakiramdam ko ay abandonado na ang bahay. Hindi na sana ako tutuloy at babalik na lang sa pinanggalingan ko nang bigla akong may narinig na kakaiba... parang may humahangos.

Dahan-dahan ako sa bawat hakbang, sinusundan ang ingay hanggang sa mamataan ko ang isang tila ba malaking hukay. 

I had goosebumps all over my body. I wanted to leave, but for some reason I got curious. I wanted to see what was under the hole.

With all my might, I took a step... and another... and another... until something caught my eye.

There was a wheel barrow just a few inches from the hole. I froze when I spotted a dirty baby doll right on top of it.

I clutched my chest and sighed. I couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle in relief. But all of a sudden, the doll moved and cried...

"Oh shit," I gasped.

▬ end of 68// thank u ▬