Chapter Theme: Save You - Simple Plan

Nakatitig lang ako sa cellphone ko hanggang sa tumunog ang alarm nito. Wala pang isang segundo, pinatay ko na ito at bumangon na. Balewala ang alarm ko lalo't hindi naman talaga ako nakatulog.

Bumangon ako mula sa kama at nag-angat ng tingin kay Silver na nasa top bunk. Mahimbing ang tulog ng Elemento kaya naman dahan-dahan akong pumasok sa banyo, maingat upang huwag siyang magising. Paglabas ko, nagbihis agad ako at bumaba sa sala upang patayin ang mga ilaw sa labas lalo't ako ang unang nagising sa amin. 

Pagkatapos buksan ang mga pinto at bintana, dumiretso agad sa kusina. Naunahan ko ng gising si Slade kaya naman ihinanda ko na agad ang kape niya. Mahilig kasi siyang magkape sa umaga tapos chocolate drink naman sa gabi. Iba din ang trip ng demonyo eh. 

Hindi ko alam paano magtimpla ng kape, umiinom ako sa coffee shops pero 'di naman ako marunong gumawa, kaya halos dasalan ko ang kape para lang maging matino ang kinalabasan. 

Slade still has broken ribs giving him difficulty to move around kaya naman iaakyat ko na sana sa kanya ang kape kaso nakita ko siyang bumababa na mula sa hagdan. 

"You're not supposed to move around the house." Paalala ko.

"Aga mo atang nagising?" Ngumiti siya habang kinukusot ang mga matang naniningkit, gulong-gulo pa ang buhok at tabingi ang t-shirt na suot.

"More like hindi natulog. Netflix is life, boy." I lied flawlessly. "I made coffee for myself so ginawan na lang din kita." I shrugged, trying to play it cool.

"Kailan ka pa nahilig uminom ng kape?" Slade chuckled as his forehead creased.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me." I smirked and raised an eyebrow as I cocked my head side-wards. I grabbed the two cups of coffee and placed them on the table. Slade and I sat right next to each other.

"I think I already know everything about you." Pagyayabang niya sabay patong ng isang paa sa kinauupuan. Kinuha niya ang tasa ng kape gamit ang kaliwang kamay.

Natakot ako sa magiging reaksyon niya sa lasa ng kape kaya naman umiwas ako ng tingin at ininom na lang ang sa akin. One sip was all it took for me to frown in disgust. I almost gagged as I swallowed it. 

I got curious kaya naman dahan-dahan ko siyang nilingon at nakita kong tuloy-tuloy naman siya sa pag-inom, hindi ngumingiwi o sumisimangot. Ibinaba lang ito makaraan ang ilang lunok. 

"Bakit?" He chuckled as he looked at me, looking all curious and shit.

"You can complain all you want. You can even throw up." I gestured him to move right away pero tumawa lang ulit siya.

"Hindi naman masama ang lasa." He said but then tilted his head as he squinted his eyes. "You can put sugar next time though."

Natawa na lang ako at pabiro siyang sinimangutan. Pinagpatuloy niya ang pag-inom ng kape at nang maubos ito ay napasandal siya sa kinauupuan at nilingon ako habang may ngiti sa mukha. "You don't have to help me, Rei. Kaya ko naman ang sarili ko."

Looking at his eyes felt like I no longer had to keep my walls up. There's no need to wear a mask because he already knows. There's no point lying to him. I felt like I could tell him everything, so instead of lying, I poured out my own sentiments without thinking twice. "I know that, but can you just let me do things for you?"

Slade sighed. He looked like he was about to say something but then he hesitated and held back in the end. Ha! I win!

"Nga pala, papasok ka ba sa classes mo?" tanong ko.

He shook his head. "I think i'll just drop out. I can't write with my left hand."

Nanlumo ako sa narinig. Hindi ko alam anong sasabihin kaya nanatili akong nakatingin kay Slade.

"Which is a good thing!" Natatawa niyang giit. "I hate school anyway. At least mage-enjoy ako dito sa bahay nang matagal-tagal. Binge watch stuff all day."

"M-maybe we could still do something about that?" Tanong ko. Magdamag akong gising kaya magdamag din akong nag-iisip ng mga ideya kung paano matutulungan si Slade.

"Ano?" He asked.

"We could try learning how to write with our left hand." I tried to play it cool with a little chuckle. "I mean I always had this crazy idea to learn how to write with my left hand ever since I was a kid. And Maybe... just maybe, you could play the guitar with your left hand too."

Slade laughed but there's no hiding the sadness in his eyes.

"Imposible pa rin." He smiled.

"No, it's not! You're right arm can still even heal!" Dali-dali akong bumalik sa counter kung saan ko naiwan ang cellphone ko. "Ever heard of this guitarist named Les Paul?" tanong ko sabay upo muli sa kanyang tabi.

"Doesn't ring a bell." Umiling siya.

Humarap ako sa kanya sabay pakita ng mga na-research ko kaninang madaling araw. "Here's a list of 8 guitarists who overcame their injuries. Just read it! Particularly this dude named Les Paul had been in a car accident. Broke 6 of his ribs, his nose, pelvis, and more. The doctors even told him that they'd have to amputate his arm! But dahil gusto niya pang tumugtog, hindi siya pumayag. The guy went through grueling surgeries and about 2 years of therapy but he overcame his injury and went back to playing the guitar again! Heto pa, there's this dude from this Band called Megadeth, he damaged his radial ulnar nerve and according to the doctor he won't be able to play the guitar again but look at that son of a bitch! Ang tanda na pero tumutugtog pa rin!"

Napatingin ako kay Slade at nakita kong tahimik lang siya habang nakatitig sa akin. Napabuntong-hininga ako sabay dikit ng magkabila kong palad. "Please just believe me on this. I know I'm full of shit, but this time, I'm serious. You can still do this, Slade. It's not over yet. Makakatugtog ka pa."

"At kung hindi na?" Slade retorted calmly while still looking at my eyes. "Reika, thank you for having faith in me but at this point, I have to face the music. A false hope will only kill me. I have to accept things as they are."

I was left speechless as I stared right back into his sad brown eyes. It looked like he had already lost faith in his recovery. And I can't blame him. It must be so hard to be in his shoes.

"B-but can you just at least do me a favor and attend therapy once your cast is removed?" I couldn't help but ask. "We won't expect anything but that doesn't mean we won't try. Walang namang mawawala diba?" 

"We?" Pabiro niyang tanong kaya agad ko siyang tinaasan ng kilay.

"I hate to break it to you but I'm already a part of your life now. There's no getting rid of me." I smirked and shrugged as I cocked my head side-ward. "We're basically triplets now."

"Now I want to throw up." Ngumiwi si Slade at umarte na parang naduduwal.

****

Ayoko sanang pumasok pero mapilit sina Slade at Daddy. Kung si Daddy lang ang nagsabi na kailangan kong pumasok, aabsent talaga ako kaso si Slade na mismo ang nagpumilit. Wala ako sa mood na sumalungat kay Slade kaya sa huli pumasok na lang ako.

Alas-tres na nang hapon nang makauwi ako. Napaaga dahil absent daw ang teacher namin para sa susunod na subject. Pagpasok ko sa bahay, nakita ko agad ang mga ka-banda ni Slade na ngunguto-nguto habang papalabas ng pinto samantalang si Slade naman ay umakyat na ng hagdan patungo sa kwarto niya. I suddenly felt some kind of a tension against them.

"Hey." Tumango ako nang makasalubong sila. I forgot their names but I could always recognize their faces.

"Hey." Bati sa akin ng vocalist nila na may kahabaan ang buhok. "Can you talk to Slade? He's being unreasonable." He looked frustrated but still calm.

"Man, that wasn't Slade back there." Umiling-iling naman iyong drummer nilang cute sana kaso mukhang may saltik din. 

"Can't believe he'll quit just like that." Umingos naman ang gitarista nila.

Nagmamadali na silang umalis kaya hindi na ako nakapagsalita pa. Aakyat na sana ako nang makita kong may isang kahon na naglalaman ng maliliit anim na maliliit na bote ng beer sa mesa. Hindi pa ito nabubuksan kaya malamang dala nila ito para kay Slade.

Umakyat ako at pumasok sa kwarto niya dala ang mga beer. Nadatnan ko siyang nakaupo lang sa kama niya, nakasandal sa headboard habang nakatingin sa kawalan.

"Hey, gusto mo uminom?" Pagyayaya ko. Lumingon naman siya sa akin at tumango.

Hindi ako nagsalita habang umiinom, hinihintay ko siyang mauna kaya naman matagal kaming nanatiling tahimik. Nasa pangalawang bote pa ako samantalang nasa pang-apat na siya nang tuluyang magsalita.

"I don't know who I am anymore." Slade spoke coldly without even looking at my direction. His hand holding the bottle tight. "My entire life has been about music and playing instruments, so much that it already became part of me and now that I can't play...." He shook his head as his jaw tensed up, his eyes sporting nothing but pain and distraught. "Kakabit na ng pangalan ko ang Wave Syndicate. Parte na 'to ng pagkatao ko tapos mawawala lang. For once I finally found my purpose but now i'm back to nothing."

I knew right then he was already drunk... his walls down.

Napasinghal si Slade at umiling. Pumupungay ang mga mata at namumula ang mukha. "Fuck, I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. Mom and Dad were right... I should've fucking listened." Uminom siya muli mula sa bote niya at tinapon niya ito sa sahig nang tuluyang maubos ang laman. Pagsasabihan ko sana siya pero bigla niyang inagaw ang beer ko at siya na ang umubos nito. "For so many years, I was Slade the Basist of Wave Syndicate and now I'm nothing! Do you hear me?! Nothing!" 

"You're still Slade..." My voice came out soft as I shook my head.

Napatingin ang lasing niyang mga mata sa akin.

"Slade, you're more than just a guy in a rock band. Being the bassist of rock band isn't the best thing about you. It's not who you are. It's not your identity. Sige, sabihin na nating may mga taong gusto ka bilang si Slade ng Wave Syndicate pero andito naman kami eh. Madaming nagmamahal sa'yo bilang ikaw. Look at me, I don't even give a flying fuck even if you're in a band or not." I raised both of my hands as I shrugged. 

Hindi kumibo si Slade, nanatili lang siyang nakatitig sa akin.

I raised an eyebrow. "Subukan mo akong halikan at tatamaan ka talagang demonyo ka."

Bigla siyang tumawa habang umiiling-iling.

I sighed. "But I still mean it, Slade. You're more than just a guy from a rock band. Bassist or not, you're still our Slade."

Tumango siya at ngumiti.

▬ end of 34// thank u ▬