No bone in my body had the strength to move the next morning.

I laid there, paralyzed, in my own bed, my own prison. Everything ached, my head pounded in a light rhythm against my temple.

"Alex! School!" My father's yell only worsened the pain. I groaned, pushing myself up from the bed and gripping the sheets to stop myself from spinning with the room.

"Alex!" Dad's voice was closer now. I staggered forward, tripping over something on the ground and hitting it, pain shooting through my leg.

"Kid, I told you to get your ass up. Let's go!" I felt bitterness stirring in the pit of my stomach as I stared at my father's dark figure in the door frame.

"Yes, Sir." I started to rise to my feet, but slid back down when I saw what my feet were tangled in.

The headphones. The headphones connected to the cassette player.

"Let's go, kid. Now." I fought the intense urge to flip my father off and stood up, moving across the room slowly to throw a t shirt over my head.

"Can I have some privacy, sir?" I questioned quietly; the voice that left me wasn't mine.

"Five minutes." He slammed my door shut behind him, sending a sharp pain through my head. I groaned, reaching down to pick up the cassette player. I tossed it on to my bed and through on a pair of jeans, not caring enough to check if they were dirty or not. I sat at the foot of my bed, untangling the thick wires and slipping the headphones over my head.

"Alex Standall, it's your turn." I twisted the cord around my fingers tightly, hoping that they'd be a distraction from my pounding head.

"I'm sure you have no idea why you're on here, Alex. You probably think you did a good thing, right? You voted me Best Ass in the Freshman Class. How could anyone be angry at that?"

Silence.

"Listen." I started to fall back, ready to become hypnotized by the haunting sound of Hannah's voice, the quiet, soft spoken words that cut into me like knifes. I never hit my pillow. My father ripped the headphones from my ears, throwing them on to the ground.

"Kid, we've got to go. Listen to that later." I slipped the box of tapes and the player into my backpack, ramming into Dad's shoulder on my way to the door. He followed me out without a word, grabbing his keys and gun before stepping out into the bright sunlight.

It blinded me for a second, my eyes not accustom to the sun quite yet.

"You doing okay?" Dad asked once we were situated in the car. I shrugged.

"Alex." I didn't look at him, I couldn't even begin to explain the tapes to him. He'd laugh in my face like Montgomery or Bryce; or worse, confiscate them and take them back to the station.

To my relief, he stayed silent the rest of the way to Liberty, obviously taking the hint. I grabbed my bag the second we were in front of the entrence to the school.

"I'll get out here, it's fine." I climbed out before he could get a word out. I heard him call after me, but the words were nothing but a dull hum in the back of my head. I grabbed the headphones once more, setting them back in place as I made my way up to the school as slowly as possible.

"First, Alex, if you think I'm being silly-if you think I'm some stupid little girl who gets her panties in a bunch over the tiniest things, taking everything way too seriously, no one's making you listen. Sure, I am pressuring you with that second set of tapes, but who cares if people around town know what you think of my ass, right?"

I dug my nails into the palm of my hand, keeping a straight face as I changed direction to avoid passing the jocks out, Jess sitting on the wall a few feet away, her head lowered as she stared at her phone with a blank expression.

I fought everything inside me then. I wanted to go over, to tell her I understood the pain she was going through, that I understood in general. But I couldn't, because somehow I knew it wouldn't make her feel better and would only result in me getting my ass kicked by Justin.

"I can name a whole list of people who would care. I can name a list of people who would care very much if these tapes got out. So let's begin, shall we?"

I bowed my head upon entering the school, feeling as if I was the center of attention for the first time in my entire life.

"I remember sitting in second period the day your list came out. Ms. Strumm-"

"Watch where your fucking going, Standall!" Justin was in front of me, his face twisted in disgust at the sight of me. I lifted my head, pushing the headphones back, and opened my mouth. Ready to stand up to him, to tell him to fuck off. He had hurt her, he had-"

"Shit!" Zach's voice echoed through the silent hall, his eyes on the three of us. Justin, me, and Tony. He had appeared from nowhere, as if he had come out of thin air, pushing Justin up against the lockers, his fingers locked around his throat.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Foley? I told you to listen, and you didn't listen!" Whispers erupted around us; people curious of what the hell Tony was talking about. I only stared, dumbfounded.

Tony was on the tapes?

Tony who barely showed up to school, had kicked a kid's ass for accidentally touching his Mustang. Tony who I had never, not once, seen with Hannah Baker.

"I. . . couldn't-" Justin choked out the second Tony let him fall to the ground against the lockers, lip pursed in disgust.

"You couldn't? Do you realize what's on them? What everyone could find out?" Tony crouched down, as if he were talking to an abused dog.

"Why do you even care?" Justin spat out. Tony moved so his lips were only inches from Justin's ear, being so close, I was sure I was the only one that heard it.

"Because she left them with me, Foley. I have an obligation to fulfill." He rose to his feet again, stepping on Justin's foot with a glare.

"When you get them again, you're going to listen, do you understand? I'm not one for giving second chances, you're lucky." Justin nodded, turning his face away from his audience, his face a sickly shade of white.

Before I could continue to comprehend what had just happened, Tony's hand clamped around my wrist and he yanked me backwards, nearly causing me to trip over my own foot.

"What the hell?" I demanded, trying to twist my arm from his grip.

"Just shut up and follow me. No questions yet." I ripped my arm from his grip, but let him lead me out of the school.

I threw a quick glance back over my shoulder and met Justin's dark eyes as he leaned against the locker for support. He looked seconds from collapsing; and it wasn't just physically.

It wasn't until I was outside the school that I jolted to a stop and felt my lips begin to part. The locker Tony had choked Justin against, that Justin had been leaning against for support, wasn't just any locker.

It was Hannah's.

*

"Go ahead." Tony turned over the key in the ignition, "Ask away."

Billions of questions whirled around in my head, but I wasn't able to force even one of them out.

"You're the first that didn't have questions." Tony commented, "Actually, you're the first that wasn't bitter and in denial about the whole thing." I shook my head, tracing my fingers along the cold, dewy window.

"I did it." I felt my sweaty hands clenching and unclenching on my lap, "I killed her." He leaned back against his seat, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the beige roof of his car.

"I'm not going to agree or disagree. We all did, Alex. You did just as much as Jess or Justin. You-"

"No. You heard her! She said it on the tape. None of that shit would have happened if it hadn't been for me." Tony looked genuinely surprised by my outburst.

"You already finished them?" He asked.

"Last night." I looked out the window, shaking my head with a bitter laugh, "All of them, every single thing, happened because of me. Because of that stupid fucking list, Tony. I did it." His eyes roamed my face, searching, scanning, analyzing me.

"You weren't on them? Where was your tape?" I cut him off as he opened his mouth to speak, "You're one of us, right?"

He looked out his own window, a distant look on his face.

"No. Alex, I can't sit and try to explain why I have to do this, monitor all of you to insure you don't throw them out, burn them, not listen to them. I promised myself, I promised Hannah-"

"You promised Hannah what, Tony? What?" I pestered until he looked back in my direction. For a second I thought I saw his eyes flash with guilt, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

"I promised myself that I'd make sure these kept going. . . or I'd release them to the public."

"Well, I'm finished with them. Send them on to Tyler and tell him to shove them up his pervy ass, okay?" I reached for the door, but Tony caught my wrist before I could open it.

"Are you okay?" His voice was barely audible.

"Of course I'm not okay. Who the fuck would be okay after listening to those, Tony?" I reached for the handle again, but he pushed on the gas so the car inched forward, throwing my back against the seat.

"Alex, I need you to talk to me. I can't let you out until you tell me how you feel about everything, until I know you aren't going to go tell the entire school." I stared ahead, a sneer on my face as I stared through the miles of trees out my window, winding down a long trail until there was nothing but dark speck in the distance.

"Why shouldn't I?" I demanded after a moment of silence, my head whipping back toward him in the driver's seat.

"Alex, we could all be put on trial. Could all go to jail for bei-"

"We deserve it! Don't you understand? We killed her, Tony. We fucking killed her!" I kicked at the air bag, urging it to break open.

The car stayed silent for a few minutes before Tony started the car again and started driving. His knuckles lost color every second that passed by, his lips pursed and his forehead creased in concentration.

I was thrown back against the seat once more as the car jolted to a stop and Tony climbed out. I hesitated for a second before following him, my stomach lurching within seconds.

We were in front of a cemetery. More specifically, the cemetery we'd watched Hannah's body get lowered into.

He sent a quick look to insure I was still following him, before weaving in between headstones until we were standing in front of a space in between two, no headstone present.

There was nothing there but a small sunflower growing from the grass, surrounded by a few strands of grass.

"Why don't we do something about Bryce?" I managed to choke out, falling to the ground, my legs wrapping around my legs as I hugged them against my chest.

"I've gone over it in my head multiple times. There isn't a way to strategically take him down without the tapes getting out. W. . . we can figure it out once the tapes have gotten to everyone." I rested my chin on my knees, glancing up at Tony's dark, anger and guilt ridden face.

"What happens when they're through everyone?" I whispered, lifting my head back up and meeting his own empty dark eyes.

That was if they made it through everyone. I knew better than to believe that once it reached Marcus, that he'd pass them on. He had a great life ahead of him. He was student body president and had college acceptance letters flying into his hands so quickly that Mr. Porter and the Principal had been congratulating him non-stop.

I suppose that everyone on these had at least a somewhat decent life plan laid out ahead of them.

Maybe Hannah had too.

"I don't know, Alex." Tony's quiet voice dragged me back into our cruel reality, "I guess we'll have to wait and see what comes next."  

***AN***

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~ChasingMadness24