THE REASON

chapter eight : kiss from a rose
[ season five – episode three & five ]

   SHE HAD BEEN dealing with the screaming in her head for a solid fifteen minutes at that point. As she sat on the steps outside of the church's door. As her knees were brought up to her chest. As she stared off into the woods.

Her hands trembled severely as she stared down at them. The knife she had used to slit the dirty blonde man's throat was somewhere amidst the trees in front of her after she had thrown it.

She just wished it didn't hit an animal or something like that.

She could've scoffed at her own thoughts. She had just slit someone's throat... yet she cares if she hit an animal after throwing her knife? She didn't understand herself sometimes.

Her heart thumped roughly against her ribcage to the point she could hear it.

Everyone decided to leave her alone for a while, but she was moderately surprised that Glenn hadn't come out to see her. Perhaps she should've lowered her expectations.

Just as she had thought that, the door behind her scraped open. Most of her muscles tensed up as she waited for the person to speak with her. There was a cool breeze and a somewhat awkward silence as she waited.

The person took a seat beside her, and let out a deep breath as they stared off into the distance. They connected their hands together, growing goosebumps from the cool air.

Kloe couldn't tell who it was that decided to sit beside her and say nothing for a few minutes, but she couldn't be bothered to even check to see who it was. Until...

"He deserved it, you know?" Kloe finally shot her head over to the person after hearing the feminine voice speak up. Rosita turned her head to the side, catching Kloe's sad eyes. "You shouldn't feel bad for what you did in there. He would've killed all of us if you guys hadn't come in when you did."

"I didn't have to be psycho and slit his throat though," Kloe sighed, running her shaky fingers through the roots of her hair. "I'm not used to doing that kinda thing. I should've just let Rick do all the work."

"You proved yourself to him that you weren't afraid, and you got your revenge for something that would've torn you to a million pieces," Rosita replied. "Look, we may not know each other at all, but we're gonna be stuck with each other for a damn while. So we might start building our bond now."

Kloe somewhat chuckled, then dropped her smile. "But I could've handled it a lot differently than I did. I could've just... I don't know? Punch him again?"

"That asshole had more coming than just a strike across the face. He deserved what he got, and you shouldn't feel bad about it."

"I know..." Kloe trailed off, biting onto her bottom lip halfway through the flesh as she began to taste the blood, "but I hate that I'm becoming cold. Myself from a few weeks ago would've never done the things that I've done recently. I've— I've attacked people, tortured people, killed—"

A small sob escaped her lips as she looked down at her lap, her eyes beginning to well up with tears. She hated every part of this. She hated the being she had become in such a short amount of time. She hated the way the people she loved had just looked at her.

"I turned around," Kloe began, "and Zayn was... he was looking at me like he didn't know me. I mean, imagine watching your sister that had a heart of gold not so long ago slit her knife across a man's throat with no mercy? And Glenn, who the hell knows what he's thinking right now."

"Neither of them are thinking badly of you," Rosita reassured. "They're just... shocked. You're Zayn's sister, he'd never leave your side. Glenn... he thinks the world of you."

Kloe glanced back over at the Espinosa woman, who was sending her a small smile.

"When we drove him, Brianna, and Tara a few hours away from here, he was persistent that we turned around. Abraham tried talking him into going with us to get the cure. He turned down a cure that can save the whole entire world for you. You wanna know why? Because the world we live in isn't his world. You're his world. And his world wouldn't have been saved by a cure if he had no idea where his wife was or if she was alive."

Kloe could've cried.

"So stop worrying about what they think, because they all love you to bits," Rosita reassuringly smiled, rubbing her acquaintance's shoulder. "The guilt is completely normal, but it'll get better soon."

"Have you... ever killed anyone?" Kloe found herself wondering, sniffling. She brushed back some of her dark hair — that desperately needed cleaning — behind her ear as she looked across at the woman.

"Yeah," she muttered in reply. "I still feel guilty about it, even though he tried to kill Eugene. I just... remind myself everyday that it's just the world we live in now. It's gonna have to be this way, and one day, every single one of us will have to get some blood on our hands...

...It's just the way it is."

...

After a while, Rosita had gone back inside and left Kloe alone — how she wanted it. Here Kloe was, the next morning as everyone said their words to Bob as he lay on his deathbed, thinking about what Rosita had said to her.

She had kept her distance away from everybody. Well, maybe except for Rosita. Which was surprising to Kloe — considering she only just had her first ever conversation with the Espinosa woman.

Being separated from everybody in the room where Bob was dying, she was the last one to say her goodbyes. She just thanked him for everything he had done for her and her family, squeezed his hand, and smiled.

She stepped down the small set of stairs, the same exact ones she was sitting on just a few hours beforehand. She stayed on the steps until it began getting light.

An hour and thirty minutes of sleep was all she was running on. Yet she felt wide awake. She broke her eyes away from the gravel beneath her boots and met the eyes of her brother.

She swallowed thickly, gnawing onto the flesh on her bottom lip nervously. "Hi," she said, barely above a whisper. She parted her lips and stammered for a moment as she searched for the right words. She pursed her lips, "I'll see you soon, I guess."

He nodded, "yeah." There was a long silence as Kloe averted her eyes down to the short grass that was starting to lose its color from the lack of rain. She rubbed her left eye with the back of her hand, occasionally looking up at the group near the church bus.

Unpredictably, a pair of muscular arms wrapped around her back and a chin rested on the top of her raven brown hair. Kloe's arms stayed beside her hips, taken aback by the sudden embrace.

The inner of Kloe's brows lifted as tears formed in her eyes. Zayn's chin trembled as he rubbed his little sister's back comfortingly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Klo," he choked out. "I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. And I'm not just talking about right now, I mean with what I left you to go through all alone after Dad died."

Kloe sealed her eyes shut as memories she tried desperately to forget came flooding back. "Zayn, it's fine—"

"No, it's not. And I'm so fucking sorry Klo. I should've stayed in Florida until you turned eighteen. I know how much your life turned shitty after I left. You were all alone with Mom until..."

"Zayn—"

He cut her off by breaking the embrace, his hands firmly on her shoulders as he stared down into her glossy eyes. "The look in your eyes when you were sixteen and seventeen — when you had no idea what to do, as if you were lost. That's exactly what I saw in your eyes last night. You're sad. You're lost. You don't know what to do. Right?"

Kloe's lips that had somewhat managed to fall open slowly connected into a straight line. A single droplet of tear ran down her smooth cheek. "Where the— where the fuck is this all coming from, Zayn?" she whispered. "You're acting like we're never gonna see each other again. You're apologizing now because you think something's gonna happen."

"Just in case, Klo," Zayn muttered. "Just in case something happens to either one of us, touch wood."

"Nothing is gonna happen to us, Zayn. You're with Rick and everyone. And me... I'm with Glenn... Abraham... Rosita... They're all strong people," Kloe reassured, trying her hardest to push back the part where Zayn began bringing up the past. She wanted to forget. She had to.

"Yeah, I know... But I had to apologize to you anyway. You have been through so much and all I do is sit here and watch. I feel like a lump of cow shit knowing that you're slowly going downhill again," explained Zayn.

"Zayn, hey, look at me," she said, grasping onto his wrists. "None of what happened, nor happening now, is any of your fault. Back then, it was Mom's. Now, it's the goddamn apocalypse."

She relinquished Zayn's hands off her shoulders and strutted over to the church bus. Zayn spun around, watching his sister wipe away her own tears as she approached the group.

But before she reached them, her attention was drawn over to someone else instead — who picked up two large guns that were pressed up against the outer walls of the church.

As Glenn turned around, both guns in his grip, he lifted his eyes from them and set his eyes on the group. Kloe tried her best to blink her tears away, but she was sure it didn't work. The images of memories her brother brought up kept flashing into her mind.

She pushed the thoughts down back to the bottom, putting everything else she had to worry about on top. She watched him as he searched the small group of people for someone in particular.

His eyes darted over to Kloe after seeing her in the corner of his eyes, standing around ten meters away from the group.

They immediately softened upon seeing his wife, except his heart panged when he saw the slight redness in her eyes. Just as he was about to walk over to her and give her the most comforting hug anyone could have given her, she motioned her head over to the group and began stepping over to them.

He realized his eyes began to go dry from not blinking and blinked a few times before following her. As he reached the group, he made sure he stopped beside Kloe and watched the side of her face for a moment before paying full attention to what the others had to say first.

The truth was, Rosita was right. Glenn wasn't mad at her in the slightest. But he knew she wanted some space, so that's what he gave her.

Abraham pulled out a folded map that had been drawn on to give direction from his pocket and handed it over to the Grimes man. "This is our route to DC," he said as Rick took the map from his fingertips. "We'll stick to it as long as we're able. If not, well, you got our destination. Once Eugene gets to the big brains left up there, things are gonna bounce back. This group should be there for it. You should be there for it."

"They will be," Maggie spoke up. She was offered to go with them to DC, at first she turned it down, but after a while she gave in and decided she would join their little adventure trip.

"Yeah," Michonne agreed, "we will."

Rick then twisted his body around, his eyes meeting the two womens'. "We will."

The man glanced over at Kloe, sending her a small smile to which she falsely returned. As he turned back to face Abraham, Kloe looked up at Rosita — who was a few meters behind the red head.

The Espinosa woman had her hands on her hips and an angelic smile on her lips. Feeling the pair of eyes on her, she gazed over at Kloe and gave her an assuring nod.

Before she knew it, Abraham spun on his heels and walked over to the back of the church bus. "Let's go."

Kloe watched as everyone except herself, Glenn, and Tara tread over to the bus. Glenn, once again, turned his head to the side to face his wife. This time, she looked back.

A small smile plastered onto her lips as she admired him. At first, it was a true smile — one that she couldn't quite manage to find the past few weeks — until a voice in her head somehow got it to turn to another fake.

You don't deserve him, Kloe. You never did to begin with.

Footsteps were to be heard from the other side of her, causing her to whip her head in the opposite direction to her husband. There stood her sister, Brianna. The pair stared at each other for a short moment, only until Brianna engulfed her big sister into a hug.

"Please don't die," she said, muffled by the clothing Kloe wore to cover her shoulders. "I'm gonna miss you."

Kloe pulled away from the sudden hug, a grin etching onto her lips as she playfully ruffled her sister's dark hair with her fingertips. "You know that won't happen. Like I said before, I'm immortal," she smirked, clicking her tongue as she winked at her.

Brianna found herself smiling too.

Another person joined Brianna's side, lifting a cigarette to his lips as he patted his friend's arm on the shoulder. "Damn right, she's immortal," Jayce stated. "Proved that already back at the prison. God, am I weird to say 'I miss prison'?"

"Well, if it is, then we both are because I miss it too," Kloe nodded, tossing over a lighter that she kept in her back pocket. Jayce caught the small tube with one hand. "When's the last time you had one of them?"

"Christ, when the lil' one was a newborn," Jayce chuckled. "Things are getting more and more stressful as days go by — I don't exactly need these, but they help with the nerves."

"I guess so," Kloe mumbled. "Just... I don't know? Don't get addicted, yeah?"

"You got it," Jayce then mimicked his friend and clicked his tongue and winked, making her whack his upper arm with the back of her hand.

Unexpectedly, Kloe felt a small object slide into her belt — something familiar — from behind. She spun around, coming face-to-face with Reina Salazar. "Jeez, I was only trying to give you your knife. No need for a heart attack as a 'thank you'."

Kloe jokingly rolled her eyes. "Be careful too, Rei."

...

"We have a whole bunch of songs in here," Abraham cheered. He pulled out many tapes that were buried in the glovebox in front of the unoccupied passenger's seat. "Why don't y'all take a look at some of 'em."

He twisted his arm backwards with the bunch of tapes in his hand, offering them out to the small group in the back of the bus.

Rosita sat behind Abraham, often playing with the ends of Abraham's red hair while she watched him with love-filled eyes. Beside Rosita on another seat was the Rhees.

Kloe's head was resting on Glenn's shoulder as she tried to catch up on some sleep. Glenn's hand was kept on her knee as he rubbed his thumb over it softly.

On the seat behind them was the man that could potentially save the world, Eugene. He stayed silent more-or-less the entire time of them being on the bus — which was in fact two hours and thirty minutes approximately.

On another blue leather seat beside him sat Tara and Maggie. Ever since they bumped into each other on the train tracks with the others, they both had formed a friendship.

Upon hearing Abraham's words, Kloe instinctively lifted her head from Glenn's shoulder and looked ahead at the tapes. "I'm good with songs," she stated before leaning forward, clasping onto the containers.

Holding them in a pile, she examined the small pictures on the boxes and the names on the side. "Full of oldie type of music," she said as everyone in the bus watched her. "The Consolers... Paul Anka... Eddie Cochran..." she read out. As she handed the Eddie Cochran tape to her husband, her eyes landed on a very familiar tape. "Holy shit. This— this was mine and Zayn's favorite song when I was like... ten years old."

"Oh really? Who is it?" Abraham wondered, briefly looking up at Kloe through his rear view mirror. "And do not say Cyndi Lauper. I can't stand listening to that 'ooh I wanna dance with somebodeh' crap one more time."

"I love Cyndi Lauper," Tara commented.

"Well, Tara, I'm afraid you are shit out of luck. Abraham, it's your lucky day. It's not Cyndi Lauper," Kloe found herself chuckling as she offered the particular tape over to the red head.

"Seal," Abraham said aloud. "Ah, I remember this song." He slid the tape into the disc drive, the song taking a moment or two to start playing. "This was a top hit in the 90s for a while."

"This song was my first ever song I had on tape," Kloe muttered as she smiled excitedly for her childhood favorite song to play. She looked over to the side, her eyes setting on Glenn's.

He couldn't help but smile and laugh at her sudden outburst of excitement from a song. "Your dimples are back," he poked the small dent on the right side of her cheek, making her snicker and shake her head.

Kiss from a Rose began to play through the speakers. Kloe's eyes lit up. Abraham chuckled and tapped his finger on the steering wheel. Maggie tilted her head to the side and grinned, recognizing the tune. Rosita continued to watch her boyfriend with adoration. Tara rocked side to side from the slow tune at the beginning. And Glenn watched his wife finally show happiness for the first time in days.

"There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea," Kloe sang along, copying Tara's actions and swaying side to side. "You became the light on the dark side of me."

"Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill," Abraham joined in, the pair singing along together in unison. "Now this is nostalgic, Kloe. Fantastic taste."

"My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen," Kloe continued, somewhat laughing as she sang to the words. "Man, if only Zayn was here. He would be up and dancing and pretending there's someone in front of him to sing to."

"I only know the chorus— The more I get of you the stranger it feels, yeah," Maggie joined.

"And now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the gray..." The three harmonized as they finished the last line of the chorus, a few chuckles erupting from Tara, Glenn, and Rosita.

Eugene remained silent, his eyes darting between the ones that were vocalizing to the music.

"You don't know this?" Kloe questioned as she peered over the top of her seat, looking across at the Porter man who stayed completely and utterly solemn.

"It appears I do not, ma'am," Eugene politely replied.

"Chill, Albert Einstein. You don't have to call me ma'am. Kloe is fine," she waved him off, spinning back around in her seat. "There is so much a man can tell you so much he can say—"

"You remain, my power, my pleasure, my pain, baby..." Abraham and Maggie joined Kloe, harmonizing once more which caused Tara to start giggling.

"To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny. Won't you tell me if that's healthy, baby?" Kloe patted her own knee to the beat as she sang her heart out with Abraham doing the same. "But did you know that when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen?"

And once again, the three sang the chorus, swaying side to side, and patting their hands on their legs to the beat. The moment the instrumental part started, Tara turned to the side to face Eugene.

"Hey, maybe Rosita can give you a trim while she makes Abraham smooth up-and-down," she suggested. "Party's getting a little long in the back. Or is it your source of power?"

"I ain't slayin' a lion anytime soon," he dismissed. "I wouldn't be placing any wagers on seein' me dispatch a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of an ass."

"Oh, so you'll just settle on saving the world, right?" Tara grinned, wiggling her brows at the Porter man.

"Yeah."

"There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say. You remain, my power, me pleasure, my pain. To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny," Abraham and Kloe started again.

"Sorry, I just love this song so much," Kloe apologized while laughing, causing Tara to cackle. The Rhee woman then looked over to the side. "Do you know this song?"

"Yeah, of course," Glenn nodded as if it was a stupid question. "It was in the Batman Forever soundtrack... Even though it wasn't even made for it. It was actually written in 1987."

Kloe brought her hand to the roots of his hair and ruffled it, "Batman saved the day and made one of my favorite songs popular. I probably wouldn't have heard it if it wasn't for Batman."

"Batman saves the day, what can I say?" Glenn shrugged, absentmindedly smiling as he felt his wife playing with his hair. "Are you making my hair messy again?"

"Maybe..." she snorted before fixing it once more. "Wait," she realized, "where's your cap?"

"You've only just noticed?" Glenn wondered, an amused grin plastering his lips as his brows raised into his forehead. "It's in my backpack. At the bottom. I sort of forgot about it."

"That cap has some memories," Kloe said, leaning back in her seat. Her lips then formed a straight line as she began to think. She twisted her body around, facing Eugene. "How long will it take? After you get on that terminal and do what you have to do?"

Glenn did the same and twisted his body to the side to look ahead at Eugene. Eugene exhaled, "depends on a number of factors including density of the infected around target sites worldwide."

Glenn shifted, "wait, target sites? Are you talking about missiles?"

Eugene stared at the man for a few seconds, squinting his eyes. "That's classified."

The Rhee man silently groaned, his shoulders slumping down as Kloe unnoticeably rolled her eyes. "I thought we were over that," Glenn mentioned.

"What if we all live?"

"The secrets will matter then?" Glenn asked.

"We've had a very eventful past with secrets," Kloe mumbled, resting her cheek on the headrest of the leather seat. "We suck at it."

"The secrets might matter then," Eugene answered, ignoring Kloe's small murmurs and gazing ahead at Glenn. "Anyway, the speed with which things normalize depend on a number of factors including worldwide weather patterns, which were modeled without the assumption, that cars, planes, boats, and trains wouldn't be pouring hydrocarbons into the atmosphere this long. Changed the game quite a bit when it comes to air-transmissible pathogens."

Glenn and Kloe both stared at the man. Kloe's brows were raised and looked around at the others dumbfoundedly. Glenn continued to stare at the man for a while. "Why the hair?"

"Because I like it." A smile escaped into Kloe's lips. Glenn nodded. "And no one is takin' scissor or clipper to it anytime soon. Do you hear me, Miss Espinosa?"

Rosita snorted, "Yes, loud and clear."

The others all chuckled.

"Y'all can laugh all you want," Eugene said.

"No one was makin' fun," Maggie smiled, assuring the quite sensitive man.

"The smartest man I ever met happened to love my hair. My old boss, T. Brooks Ellis, the director of the Human Genome Project. He said my hair made me look like, and I quote, 'a fun guy', which I am," Eugene elaborated. "I just ain't Samson."

"No, you're Sheldon Cooper," Kloe commented, earning more giggles from the others.

Unexpectedly, a loud crash and bang sounded from the engine, causing Abraham to slam down onto the brakes. Thick gray smog covered the windshield, the red head losing complete control with the vehicle as it screeched and swerved across the pavement.

"Bitchnuts!" the man yelled loudly over the loud noise as he tried his hardest to take back the control.

Everyone in the bus flew forward as it collided with something in front of them, making the bus flip onto its side.

Oh boy.

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words: 4222
24th may 2023
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OH BOY. also i'm super excited to write the bond between kloe and rosita. I LOVE THEM ALREADY