THE REASON

chapter fifteen ; everything together
[ season five – episode ten

ONCE AGAIN, KLOE got no sleep and looked like she could've passed out at any given moment. It was the next day and was morning, and Kloe Rhee could only drag her feet across the pavement with pure exhaustion.

Earlier that day, some of the others had found a small puddle at the bottom of a creek and managed to fill up a quarter of a few bottles. People had to share, and in this case, Glenn, Kloe, Zayn, Brianna, and Isabelle all shared one.

They could only take a small sip to save it. But the four insisted that Kloe had the entire bottle since she was the one that desperately needed it. But, as they expected, she took a small sip and gave it back and declined.

Kloe stared ahead of her, her eyes feeling like they were about to close from fatigue. Glenn, who was beside her, lifted up the plastic water bottle with a small mouthful of water left at the bottom.

She looked down at it before turning to her husband. "Kloe... just have the rest, okay?" he persisted, but she only shook her head in return. He lowered the water and tilted his head at her. "What's going through your mind?"

Her eyelids blinked religiously, trying their best not to just close and stay that way. The one thing that was going through her mind was the thought that she wasn't going to make it another day.

"You can read me like the back of your hand," she whispered, turning her neck to the side to face him. "You already know what's going through my mind."

He slowly shook his head. "Maybe, but I want you to tell me yourself. I want you to let it out," he told her, staring deep into her light brown eyes that seemed a lot darker than normal.

She went back to staring off into space as Glenn waited for her to speak. She parted her lips, shaking her head unnoticeably. "We're still miles away from— from pharmacies and things like that..." she paused, wheezing in a breath, "and— and as long as we keep finding small amounts of water, we'll add to our time for how long we all have left."

Glenn gulped worriedly as he looked down at the ground. He knew exactly what she was getting at.

"I'm not scared of dying," she stated, a lump forming in her throat, "I'm just scared of leaving you... Zayn... Brianna.... the others. If— if I die—"

"You're not going to die," Glenn said firmly, exhaling shakily. "You're not— you're not going to, okay? We'll find something soon, I promise. I won't let anything happen."

Kloe attempted to blink away some of the tears that threatened to spill out of her eyes, but it didn't work. "If I die..." she continued what she was planning to say, "I won't be able to see you again. That's what scares me."

"Hey," Glenn intertwined his hand with her cold, clammy ones, "you will always be able to see me. Nothing's gonna happen to you."

"No, you don't know that," she told him sternly, clenching her jaw. "You have no idea what's gonna happen. None of us do..." she trailed off, a single tear slithering down her dirtied cheek.

The wheeze in her chest sounded worse, causing her to cough. Glenn was caught off guard by her words, but he knew deep down that she was right. He didn't have a clue. And that petrified him.

"Last night..." Kloe started, catching his attention again, "Reina said she was fed up with living like this. Well, so am I." She stoically wiped away the tear that got to her chin. "I'm tired. I'm so tired of living like this. In fear, in guilt, in anger, in loss. I'm tired of fighting."

And now her asthma was speaking. The lack of oxygen that her brain held took a play in the words she was saying. She would never usually say stuff like that. She was physically and mentally exhausted.

"You're not tired, Klo," Glenn stated softly. "You may be tired right now, but soon, we'll find something to live for. Something that's worth fighting. And maybe, as time goes on, fighting will get easier."

"We said the same shit like that last year," she replied. "Now look. We're losing people near enough every... single... day." She didn't bother wiping away anymore tears and let them fall. "Us fighting only results in someone losing their life. What are we doing wrong?"

"We're not doing anything wrong," Glenn wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "You still have Zayn, Brianna, Isabelle... me." She lifted her chin up at him, making Glenn brush away her tears with his thumb. "You're going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. We're all going to be okay. We're not going to be okay if we give up fighting." He lifted the water back up. "Drink."

She sniffed quietly in defeat, wrapping her hand around the bottle and unscrewing the cap. She brought the plastic up to her lips and poured a small mouthful into her mouth. She swallowed the cool liquid, feeling it run down to her stomach through her throat.

...

"Uh, guys," Brianna shakily called out to the group while they were thinking of a plan in a small circle in the center of the road. Brianna had stumbled away and looked around for walkers.

"What is it, Bri?" Zayn wondered. This was the first time in a while Brianna had spoken. The only time she did was either with Kloe or Zayn. She wouldn't even speak to her closest friend, Isabelle.

"We've either hit the jackpot... or we've found numerous bottles full of poison," she elaborated. "Plus a note." Rick was instantly rushing over to the teen and what exactly she was looking at.

Everyone's eyes widened as they followed. Kloe counted the amount of water bottles filled to the very top that was sitting on the road, waiting for someone to drink them. There were also a few gallon bottles filled with water for refills.

They desperately needed the water, but there was something else among the bottles that caught Isabelle's eyes. Rick kneeled down and picked up the piece of paper.

Just as he did, Daryl made an appearance. He had been out looking for more water. They all glanced at the paper, and read the three words that were written with a black marker.

'From A Friend'

Isabelle crouched down in front of the water bottles and picked up the small thing that was in the midst of them. She stood back up, examining the item. The others all furrowed their brows confusedly, wondering what she had picked up.

As she turned around to face them, her eyes trained on the item in her grasp, there was a very shocked expression on her face.

That shocked expression managed to fill on everybody else's faces.

An asthma inhaler.

Kloe's eyes lightened at the familiar item, along with Glenn's. He immediately rushed forward, staring down at the item in the younger woman's hand.

"We can't trust it," Rick remarked as he drifted his eyes across their surroundings.

Isabelle stared across at Rick. The water, she understood not to trust. But an asthma inhaler? Kloe intensely needed the specific item and whoever had planted these items had known too.

"What else are we gonna go?" Tara sighed, occasionally glancing at Kloe and the asthma inhaler.

"Not this..." Rick answered, being extra cautious and continuously looked around. He himself wanted Kloe to have the inhaler, but he couldn't trust it. None of them could... except Isabelle. "We don't know who left it."

Kloe absentmindedly took one step forward toward the Marshel woman, her eyes glued on the inhaler. However, she was cut short when someone wrapped their hand around her wrist.

Her head snapped over to the person, that being her older brother. She sent him a stoic look, tilting her head to the side as she blinked droopily.

"If it's a trap," Eugene started, his eyes stuck onto the water bottles, "we already happen to be in it." The others all faced him for what he had to say next. "But I, for one, would like to think it is indeed from a friend."

"Me too," Isabelle agreed with the Porter man, the attention now on her. She brought up the inhaler in front of her. "An inhaler is right here. We can save ourselves and Kloe, right now."

"What if it isn't?" Carol pointed out, her eyes flickering between Eugene and Isabelle. "What if they put something in it? In both of them?"

There was a short silence, which caused Eugene to dart forward and grasp onto a water bottle. His desperation for water got the better of him as he uncapped the bottle.

"Eugene," Rosita called out.

"What are you doing, dude?" Tara asked, furrowing her brows.

"Quality assurance," he answered as he put the plastic bottle against his lips. Before he was able to pour the contents into his dried-up mouth, Abraham harshly dashed forward and swatted the bottle out of Eugene's hand and onto the concrete floor, the water splashing up onto the Porter man's face.

"We can't," Rick stated, eyeing Eugene and Isabelle along with the others.

Isabelle's shoulder slumped exasperatedly. Her hands dropped to her side as she met Kloe's eyes, sending her an apologetic expression. Kloe's eyes followed the asthma inhaler fall to the ground, a crack going through the blue container.

Her heart fell with it.

A booming thunder rattled through the air, vibrating the ground beneath their shoes. Simultaneously, everyone instinctively lifted their chins up and looked up at the sky. There was a dark gray cloud that had clashed together above them.

Within an instant, cold, refreshing droplets of water poured down onto them. Kloe solemnly went back to looking straight ahead, the rain slithering down her face. She blinked out the water that ran into her eyes.

Some of the others broke out into laughter from relief, Rosita and Tara laying flat out on the ground beside each other. Behind Kloe was her brother, Zayn, who opened his arms wide and let the rain hit him on nearly every part of his body.

For the first time in a while, Brianna managed to break out a small smile on her lips and step over to Isabelle. She set her petite hand onto the Marshel teen's shoulder as she opened her mouth to collect some of the rain water.

Glenn crouched down beside Kloe, a large grin on his lips as he brushed down the water on his face. He faced the side and looked up at his wife, expecting to see some sort of happiness on her face.

But there was nothing.

Maggie and Sasha were the ones that looked over at each other with not a single hint of happiness in their expressions. While Daryl and Kloe just stared into space.

The Rhee woman's dark eyes dropped back down to the blue asthma inhaler on the ground and stared. She had no hope. None at all. Not even a little bit. Her hand twitched slightly as several rain drops landed on her, her hair sticking to her skin.

She felt herself sway moderately, a pain rocketing through her head. She wheezed in a breath, lightly coughing before she turned around to face Rick.

"Everybody get the bags. Anything you can find," he instructed, kneeling down for the items inside his backpack. Kloe grasped onto a few empty water bottles, laying them out on the ground and watched as the rain water began to fill them up slowly.

The youngest Grimes member began to wail from the loud thunder from above. A few rumbles from just thunder turned into constant, concerning them. Everyone's heads whipped over to the darkest cloud in the sky.

"Oh shit," Reina muttered, barely loud enough for anyone to hear over the loud commotion from mother nature.

"Let's keep moving!" Rick called out. The roaring booms in the clouds caused Judith to scream, and Carl covered her head with his sheriff hat, protecting her from the rain.

"Where are we gonna head to?" Jayce questioned loudly, leaning toward Rick and Daryl. "We can't stay out here in this. It's dangerous!"

"There's a barn!" Daryl announced to them, answering the Bryant man's question.

"Where?"

...

Kloe had her head rested against Glenn's shoulder, still trying to dry off from the rain. They had found the barn Daryl was talking about, and it was safe for them to stay for the night while the storm was around.

Her, Glenn, Carol, Michonne, Jayce, Rick, and Daryl all sat around a fire they all attempted to create. There were small flames, but not enough to warm them up.

Daryl sighed heavily and threw the stick he was trying so hard to catch fire and leaned back.

"I'll try," Glenn offered, causing Kloe to sit up straight. He wrapped his fingers around some of the sticks that were sprawled out across the ground beside the fire, only to be stopped by the Dixon man.

"No, too wet."

Glenn picked up the stick anyway and attempted.

Rick peered over his own shoulder and set his eyes on his two children. Carl was sleeping like a rock, clearly exhausted from the amount of walking they had done. In his arms was his baby sister, Judith, who was also sleeping heavily.

"He's gonna be okay," Carol spoke up. Kloe slowly followed Carol's gaze and soon noticed that Rick was indeed keeping an eye on his children. "He bounces back more than any of us do."

Rick shook his head ever so slightly before sharing a glance with the ground. "I used to feel sorry for kids that have to grow up now. In this," he paused, sucking in a deep breath before turning to face his son. "But I think I got it wrong. Growing up is getting used to the world. This is easier for them."

"This isn't the world," Michonne instantly jumped in. Kloe's distant eyes landed on Michonne, and all she could do was disagree vastly. "This isn't it."

Kloe went back to staring straight ahead, her mind in a whole different reality. Her eyes were empty and her ears rang nonstop. She gave up trying to fight off the ringing in her ears and let it continue.

Glenn swerved his head to the side to face his wife, and his heart fell to the pit of his stomach when he noticed the nothingness in her eyes. He also managed to point out the fact that her breathing was fast, considering she couldn't get the right amount.

"It might be," he absentmindedly said, disagreeing with Michonne and not taking his eyes off Kloe. He faced the ground and began fidgeting with his knife. He looked up at Michonne, feeling her glare like it was a million daggers going into his head. "It might."

Jayce brought his hand away from his mouth after chewing on his nails and slowly nodded. "He's not wrong. It might possibly be the world we live in."

"That's giving up."

Kloe snapped back to the real world unfortunately. "No, it's not," she squeaked out, her voice cracking from her asthma. She felt their eyes bore into her as she continued to stare ahead, her mind not fully there. "It's this screwed up reality."

Glenn placed his hand on her knee and caressed it, wanting to shake his head and tell her that's not the case. But he could only agree with her. And so could the others.

Rick set his eyes on Michonne. "Until we see otherwise, this is what we have to live with," he said sharply and quietly. No one spoke for a while, the only sound filling the air was the thunder outside and the wheeze from Kloe's breathing.

She knew Isabelle was right when it came to how many days she had left, and it sure as hell felt like it too. She could barely even lift up her own arms. It was like every limb her body had was too heavy to lift, as if it weren't her own.

"When I was a kid..." Rick began, making the others set their attention onto him, "I asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that was grown-up stuff, so..." he paused, a small chuckle silently escaping him, "so I asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet."

Kloe was finally able to avert her dry eyes away from nothing and over at Rick. He was watching the floor as his mind flashed through images of his memories from the past.

"He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself 'Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war.' And then after a few years of pretending he was dead... he made it out alive. And that's the trick of it, I think."

He finally took his eyes off the ground and the scorching flames and faced the small circle of the group in front of him and met the eyes of every single one of them.

"We do what we need to do and then we get to live," he told them all. "But no matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. That includes you, Kloe." The mentioned woman eventually blinked and stared at the man, a look that wasn't as stoic as it always was filling her expression. "All of us will be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves...

that we are the walking dead."

A thick tension filled the air, and the others all shared a look with one another besides Kloe, who kept her dark eyes trained on the Grimes man with what he had just said.

"We ain't them," Daryl denied, disagreeing with the last sentence Rick had stated. He looked across at him, Rick lifting his gaze to do the same. Daryl shifted, grasped onto another twig and began snapping it. He threw it into the fire.

"We're not them. Hey," Rick attempted to catch the Dixon man's attention, to which he got. "We're not."

Daryl took one final glance at another twig and Rick before standing to his feet, looking down at the group. "We ain't them," he repeated.

The man turned his back to them and walked off into the darker half of the barn. The part where some of the other members of the group rested. He took his signature crossbow with him before he submerged into the dark.

Kloe swallowed thickly, turning her eyes back ahead of her — to nothing. Glenn wrapped his fingers around hers, catching her attention. She slowly turned to face him. "Listen to what Rick said, okay?" he whispered close to her ear so the others couldn't hear. "You'll be okay."

Her eyes danced between his eyes for a moment, before her ears perked up onto something. "D'you hear that?" she quietly asked, loud enough for Glenn to hear.

His brows brushed together, puzzled. "The thunder? I think we all do."

She shook her head as she turned to face the same way Daryl had walked away. "Hang on. I'll go check it out," she told him as she weakly and carefully stood to her feet. "I'll be back in a sec."

She grunted as she stepped away, tracing Daryl's footsteps. As she got closer to the entrance of the barn, the sound she heard got louder and louder. There was thumping — loud thumping with snarls.

As she turned a corner, her eyes filled with horror as she took in the scene before her. Daryl had his back pressed against the wooden doors that were connected with a chain and numerous walkers were pushing against it.

Kloe found her inner strength and hurried forward, her shoulder crashing against it as she strained herself. It wasn't even a few seconds later before Maggie joined her side.

The Rhee woman's wheezes became loud and she could feel them intensely. Sasha Williams was next to make an appearance as she pushed her back against the doors.

Their feet dug into the mud beneath them from the force. Kloe's face scrunched up, her body feeling weaker than ever, but she still persevered. She gasped for breath, her lungs not liking the strain she was giving herself. But she didn't care — not a single bit.

Rick, Carol, Michonne, Glenn, and Jayce — the ones who were around the fire with Kloe and Daryl beforehand jumped up and helped the other four. Then there were the others, including Carl.

Everybody strained themselves, grunts coming from everyone as they all slipped through the mud. After everything they all went through together, no matter what happened — they would always do everything together.

Kloe found it useless trying to breathe, so she just held in her breath as she scrunched up her face. Her hands began to cramp up, getting weaker by the second.

But she may have given up with other things — but not this. She wasn't going to give up. She stayed conscious to protect the ones she loves.

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words: 3563
24th july 2023
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SHORT CHAPTER AGAIN but i think we all need to give kloe, maggie, sasha and daryl a big hug :((