After watching the sunset on the beach, we go home. It's when we're outside our apartment that nervous tingling coats my skin. 

Will he like the surprise, or will he think it's over the top? 

Bast unlocks the door, and we step inside. I fumble with the zipper of my leather jacket for so long he takes over, easily sliding it down. 

“There you are,” he whispers. “What's going on?”

“Um…” I clear my throat. Is this me? Where the hell did my boldness go? 

Bast smirks, cupping my cheeks. “Um? You're up to something, aren't you?”

“Maybe?”

I want to tell him it's okay if he hates it, but he's already kicking off his sneakers, and as soon as they're off, Bast rushes to our living room-slash-kitchen, grinning like a little boy who knows he’s about to get the desired toy instead of an ugly sweater.

Must be the blow job magic. Guys.

He stands by the table set for two, gaping at what I assume is the white linen and silverware. Definitely overkill.

Bast whips his head around. “Fuck, is this for me?”

I shift my weight. “Us. I'm hungry too. And there's—” it's better to be done with the embarrassment, so I point a finger at the fridge— “a cake I baked in there. Chocolate with raspberries. Not for you. For us.”

Sebastian stalks over to me, chuckling under his breath. “Come here. Not for you. For me. And since you spent all morning doing all this for us, not me, let me heat whatever you cooked, pour you a glass of wine, and take care of you, not me.”

My face is so hot I could heat our dinner on it. Bast hugs me, kissing my cheek. “I love it so much. Thank you.”

“The food’s nothing fancy,” I say. “Don't get your hopes up.”

Bast smoothes my hair which must look like a mess after his birthday surprise and the salty breeze. “Stop it. I'm famished, and you're a great cook. Besides, I only had a doughnut Evans bought me.”

“A birthday doughnut?”

“Yeah. Okay, sit over there.” Bast nods toward the table and shrugs off his hoodie, which I drape over the back of a chair.

He prepares everything and gets the bottle of Merlot from the bucket. His eyes study the label for a few heartbeats longer than necessary, and I remember Leah’s shock when we had expensive wine at our old apartment. The price of this bottle isn't outrageous, though.

“Can we drink?” Bast asks. “Just asking  to make sure you won't do a vanishing act after screaming my name all night long.”

“All night long?”

He wiggles his brows. “Not sleeping has its benefits.”

“I’ll be here,” I say, toying with the edge of the white napkin under my plate. “Promise.”

***

Bast devours two helpings of the roast. After dinner, we sprawl on the couch with wine glasses.

My back is against his chest, and my head is leaning on his shoulder. 

“How’s your birthday celebration going so far?” I ask. 

He nuzzles into my neck. “The best I’ve ever had. Yours is soon, too. I’ll have to come up with something cool.”

I take a sip of my Merlot. “I still need to give you your present. But only after you show me my sketch.”

“You never forget anything, huh?” 

Bast gently pushes me away and scrambles to his feet. “I’ll get it,” he says, leaving his glass on the coffee table, and marches to his room.

When he’s back a few minutes later, a sketchbook is under his arm. 

I sit, tucking my bent knees under myself. “Give me.”

“My present first.”

Failing to keep myself from smiling, I grab a gift bag from the floor and hand it to him at the same time he gives me the black sketchbook.

"Hope you like it," I say.

Sebastian graces me with a timid smile. "Hope you like the sketch too."

My fingers caress the matte cover of the book Sebastian gave me, but instead of flipping it open, I watch Bast retrieve two paper-wrapped gifts. 

He tears the paper of the bigger one open and takes out a black tee with a small white wave where the person’s heart would be.

Bast lifts his eyes off the fabric and smiles, gripping the hem of his shirt. After pulling it up and over his head, he tosses it to the couch and slips into the one I gave him.

"So cool." He walks over and kisses my cheek. "Thank you."

My chest swells. "I'm happy you like it," I say.

"I'll take it off now because I need to shower, but I'll wear it to class tomorrow."

Unlike Mav, who's never worn his. Although I shouldn’t be disappointed, especially knowing how Maverick is, I've spent too much time thinking about ways to help him. A visit is overdue. That’s where I’ll go after tomorrow’s lectures.

"It's from Fashion Victim," I say. "I asked Kenny for something discreet because I know you like subtle things."

Other than the silver chain and occasionally a leather bracelet, Bast isn't one to wear jewelry. Same goes for colorful prints.

"I'll tell him I love it."

Bast takes off the shirt and carefully folds it.

"You two seem to get along," I say.

"Your friend's a great guy."

Bast isn't wrong, and that they like each other makes me happy. Although the truth about my friendship with Kenny is eager to fly from my tongue, I don't want to spoil the mood with talks about my past.

Sebastian unwraps the second gift. His fingers freeze on the case containing paint brushes. 

"So not everything is black and white," I whisper and bore my teeth into my bottom lip.

The warmth of his gaze caresses my face. "It's perfect. Everything is. You are."

I open the sketchbook to escape the intensity of Bast’s eyes, but my gaze snaps to his when I see myself on the page.

One side of Bast’s lips curves into a devilish grin. "Enjoy the first-grade doodles."

"This is…" I touch the page and pull away as soon as I feel the grainy texture under my fingertips. Shit. I hope I didn’t smear the drawing.

"Don't worry. I sprayed it with something," Bast says. "Hope you like it."

In the sketch, I'm sprawled on Sebastian's bed, and although the pose is suggestive and the details hyperrealistic, the drawing is classy and sexy in a subtle way.

I love how he drew me. If that's how he sees me, I love it even more.

"One day." 

Bast's husky voice jerks me back to reality, and as I take in the fire in his eyes, my heart stumbles out a frantic beat.

"One day, I'll draw you completely naked while your fingers are in your pussy and your eyes beg me to fuck you."

He rises from the couch, rests his present next to his wine glass, and gently takes the drawings from my hands. "Probably much sooner than you think."

Bast throws me a wink over his shoulder and exits the room. 

It feels as if he’d taken most of the oxygen with him.

***

The pitter-patter of water in the shower blends with the music pouring from the wireless speakers. It’s the sex playlist I made, and this time, Sebastian’s home. 

As I reach for the shampoo, I hear his soft footsteps and the shower door sliding open. The heat of his body blankets my wet skin as he stands behind me and takes the bottle from my hands.

“I’m taking care of you, so let me.”

He massages the lather into my hair and rubs my scalp, taking longer than I would. Then it’s the turn of the body wash he uses on every square inch of my skin. If I step back, I’ll feel all of him— every hard part of his— and the knowledge makes my pulse race.

Bast guides me to stand under the shower spray, turns me around, and traps me between the shower wall and his body. His lips claim mine, his hands cup my ass, and he devours me as if he’d spent all day waiting.

When we’re clean, he turns off the shower and steps out of it with me in tow. He grabs a fluffy white towel, opens it for me, and envelops me in it, kissing my forehead. “Let’s go.”

I wipe a lone water droplet that clings to his chest with my thumb. “Where?”

“Bed. Yours or mine, you choose.”

“I want you in mine.”

Bast dries his hair with a small towel and hangs it on a hook by the door. “Your pillows will have competition.”

“We’ll apologize for hurting their feelings, then.”

He chuckles but grows serious almost immediately. “Fuck, your hair.”

“I'll blow-dry it.”

He snatches a dry towel from the shelf behind me and shakes his head. “No time.”

“For someone who promised to make me scream all night long, you’re awfully impatient, Basti.” 

My strands will be a tangled mess in the morning. I sigh, towel-drying them while Bast leans against the door in his birthday suit. Fitting for today.

When my hair’s only slightly wet, I toss the towel into the hamper and grab my phone from the vanity to turn off the music. The notes of the song fade, and Bast arches his brows. “No more sexy songs?”

“You paid attention to the lyrics?”

“Hard not to.” He takes my hand. “That was a subtle way to say, “Come here, Sebastian.”

I snort. “Not everything’s about you.”

The smug bastard gives me a cocky grin. “Not me. Us.”

“Ugh.” I wriggle my hand free and push past him, walking out the door into my room.

I make three steps. On the fourth one, my feet no longer touch the ground.

“Bast.” I laugh. “Put me down.”

He removes the towel secured around my body and smacks my ass. “In your dreams, little caterpillar.”

Sebastian deposits me on my already unmade bed. Five pillows are missing, and I spot them on the floor by the dresser. 

“I might use those later.” He points at them and sits beside me. “And I brought your present.”

“Which one?”

Bast takes something from the comforter behind him. When I see a brush, I cock my head in a silent question.

As if the room were his, he opens my nightstand drawer.

I jab a finger into his annoyingly beautiful back. “Hey!”

“I'll ask for your consent when it matters later tonight,” he mumbles. “But this is a simple search for a basic item you might have.”

I fall back on the bed and stretch my arms over my head, yawning. “Wrong drawer. Condoms are in the other one, Basti. Asking wouldn't hurt you.”

“I don’t ne— Oh, hello.”

I know what he found even before I see it. Rhett. Transparent silicone, decent size, and my way to get rid of the sexual tension without engaging in meaningless sex with someone I don't trust. 

Bast twirls it in his hands, and I caress his arm. “Do you like him? His name’s Rhett.”

“Rhett.”

I bat my lashes. “Gone with the Wind?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He shakes with laughter, covering his eyes with his palm. “My mom loves that movie.”

So did mine. That’s how I got my name, but it’s not the time to tell Sebastian that.

My toy looks weird in his hands. Weird, but erotic in a strange way. Bast studies it as if it were an exhibit for his anatomy class.

“You didn’t tell me if you like it,” I say, tracing patterns on his forearm.

He smirks. “Do you?”

“Yes. It’s…familiar.”

“Maybe you think you know how to use…” Sebastian frowns. “Rhett. But I promise you don’t.”

“Will you teach me?”

“Will you let me?”

I drag my fingertips over Bast’s knuckles. “Yes.”

Rhett might be familiar, but after so many nights, so is Sebastian. We’re compatible. So much it scares me because even my limited experience showed me it’s not the same way with everyone. The scariest thing of all? I doubt it’s just sex. 

Bast leaves Rhett on the nightstand. “Do you have something to disinfect the guy? Sorry for killing the vibe, but I care about you.”

I stifle a giggle. “In the same drawer.”

Bast rifles through its contents and nods. “Aaand, here’s what I needed.”

He pulls out a bottle of massage oil and inspects the label. 

“Nerd,” I whisper.

Sebastian uncaps the bottle and brings it to his nose. “Mmm. I love the smell. Whatever floats your boat, little caterpillar. I can be your nerd. Your…” He huffs out a laugh. “Doctor Hutches. Why did I think the word doctor plus my last name would sound sexy?”

“It’s sexy as hell.” I rest my foot on his toned thigh. “Come heal me.”

Bast’s hungry eyes sweep over me. “Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere you’re not kissing me.”

He leans forward and presses his lips to mine. They part, welcoming his tongue, and I let Bast explore my mouth until I'm lightheaded and dizzy from the kiss.

Sebastian caresses my hair. “I’m going to do something, okay? Don’t move.”

Brows pulled together, he grabs the brush and dips it in oil. A sweet coconut scent reaches my nostrils, and the smooth tip of the brush lightly scrapes my leg.

“My favorite oil painting,” Sebastian says quietly. He casts a glance at my face and drags the brush up to my belly. “Fucking perfection.”

He circles my belly button and travels to the valley of my breasts. I breathe faster. Another dip in the dark brown bottle and the oiled tip grazes my hardened nipple. Circles it. Presses on it.

I pant, squeezing my eyes shut. “Fuck.”

“Soon,” Bast says. “Watch.”

My eyelids feel heavy, and there’s a familiar pressure in my belly as I observe the leisurely trip of the brush over my skin. It’s a journey with several stops. 

My chest. Neck. Arms. Hips.

“Spread your legs wide open.”

Each command of his does something to me. Maybe it’s his husky voice. Or his erection I want to guide inside me. 

Or trust.

He smears the oil over my inner thighs and drags the brush over my sex in an upward motion. The urge to touch myself to lessen the unbearable pressure is so strong I fist my satin sheets, biting my lip.

“How much do you want to come?” Bast asks.

“A lot. Please.”

“Since you ask nicely, you will.”

Sebastian tosses the brush aside and takes three pillows from the floor, propping them against the headboard. 

“Lean against the pillows,” he says. “And lift your ass for me.”

As soon as I do, he slides another cushion underneath me and tilts his head to the side. Hazel eyes sparkle with unbridled lust, but there’s also tenderness in them.

Bast grabs my toy and moves it up and down my slit, barely touching me. 

“Stop me anytime it gets too much, okay? No matter what I’m doing, it will never hurt you.”

I swallow thickly. “Yes.”

The purpose behind the cushions becomes clear when Bast lies on his stomach. His face is level with my sex, and he licks me before sliding the tip of the toy inside.

He alternates shallow thrusts with soft kisses and hungry licks, wrenching cries from my throat.

It feels like the sweetest torture. He moves the toy in a slow but steady rhythm, keeping me on the edge of my release but not allowing me to get there.

I bury my fingers in his hair, pressing his head down. 

Warm air tickles my slick sex when Bast laughs. 

I roll my hips. “Sebastian.”

He sucks my clit into his mouth and releases it. “Tara.” 

“I’m ready.”

He lifts his chin and looks me in the eyes. “Not yet. But very soon.”

Bast pulls the toy out, and I exhale a shaky breath. “Not fair.”

“I want you to feel what you've never felt before. Bear with me.”

Bast takes the oil and pours some onto his fingers. Nervous shivers rock my spine, and he kisses my belly. “If it makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to. It's about you. For you.”

“Not for me.” I caress his cheek. “Us.”

It's the same cycle. The determined movements of the toy. The wet heat of his kisses. His fingertips softly circling the place where no man has ever touched me. 

I watch him pleasure me. Watch the ripple of his muscles as he flexes his arm. The rise and fall of his chest. His hard cock.

It feels like surrender. Like confirmation that people can get close in lots of different ways. I've never felt as connected to him as I do now.

I relax, and Sebastian’s finger slips inside. 

He looks at me, and I nod.

It's slow at first, faster later. 

“You're precious,” he rasps, watching me. “Precious to me.”

The oiled finger glides in and out in sync with the toy. Sebastian gives me what I need, and when the pleasure crests, he presses in all the right spots, gentle but firm.

“Bast.” My toes curl,  and my core spasms. A sob breaks free from my chest, and Sebastian withdraws. 

He sits beside me and cups my face in his palms. “You okay? Was it good?”

I touch his nose with mine. “Too good. You've earned an A+ in anatomy, Basti.”

“Fuck, I'm lucky.” He runs his fingers over my sweat-soaked forehead and kisses my lips.

I hold him. Everything fades save for the heat of his body and the sound of our breaths.

But it takes one kiss. One caress of my hand for him to gather me in his arms. 

“Circle my hips with your legs,” he says.

I cling to him as he stands and carries me to the desk. 

“Condom.” I nip at his earlobe.

Bast groans. “Fuck.” 

“Not yet. But soon.”

He squeezes my ass and walks to the nightstand. He's surprisingly graceful, retrieving a pack while holding me.

When we're by the desk, Sebastian sits me on the edge and seizes my lips in a bruising kiss. 

“Lean back on your elbows. Watch me fuck you.”

He dips his fingers into my core to confirm I'm ready and licks them afterward. 

After rolling a condom down his length, Bast slams into me, and my breath hitches.

I watch him fuck me. Watch his cock disappear inside me and re-emerge.

It's primal. Rough. Messy. Shameless. But I wouldn't change a thing because it's the real us.

***

I'm rocking the messiest of buns the following day. Bast teases me, handsome in his new shirt.

The bastard looks fresh and rested after fucking me till dawn, while every step of mine reminds me of what he did to my body. 

He buys me coffee and hugs me in Ethics as we take notes. Elena is there, but Sebastian doesn't give a fuck. 

“Let's go home and nap,” he says as we meet outside the Science Building once the lectures are over.

“I need to check on Mav and Cara,” I say.

Bast pouts, and I rain kisses over his face. “Basti, Basti, Basti.”

He throws his head back and laughs. “Jeez, stop.”

“I'll be home before dinner, okay?” I poke him in the abs. “Rhett will keep you company meanwhile.” 

Bast slaps my behind lightly. “Go and come back fast. I only want you. Rhett can chill.”

After another kiss, I get in my car and drive home.

It's a weird name to call the mansion. It hasn't felt like home in forever, unlike the apartment I share with Sebastian.

I park in the driveway and stroll to the entrance. My fingers wrap around the key, but I notice the door is ajar just in time and push it open.

Cara’s name freezes on my lips. I hear voices.—lots of them, floating between the imposing, cold walls, ricocheting off the soulless marble.

I take tentative steps toward the kitchen. When I reach the doorway, five pairs of eyes land on me.

Cara.

Tom, the gardener.

Julian, the pool boy.

Ed, the guy in charge of the vehicles. 

Celeste, who takes care of the guest cabin behind the main house.

I clear my throat. “Cara? What's going on.”

A fake grin takes over Cara’s plump lips. “Tarita, baby, it's all good. Tea?”

It's bad. 

The eyes are guilty. The smiles are forced. 

I shake my head at Cara. “Please.”

Ed, the oldest of the employees, sighs, patting Cara’s arm. “Doll, she needs to know.”

Cara swats his arm away. 

I curl my hands into fists. “Tell me. Ed. Tell me right now.”

He smooths his thin, gray hair. Blue, pitiful eyes roam my face. “We're not sure yet, but we think your daddy’s in trouble. A detective has been talking to us. We didn't know he spoke with everyone here, Tara. I thought it was just me. But then it was Celeste. Twice, and…well.”

“A detective.”

My hands shake. Hazel irises appear in front of my eyes. Soft morning kisses. Last night. He would tell me.

“A detective.” Ed nods. “Detective Hutches. Raymond Hutches.”

A few things to clarify.

1)no pillows were harmed in the process.

2)Rhett is okay.

3)This book will end me. But I have to stay true to my characters, and they are dirty and shameless.

4)It’s going to get dark.

5) I hope you stick around.

6)love you guys. This is unedited yet, so sorry for any weird things. They'll be fixed once I get some sleep and coffee.

7)tell me your thoughts!!!

*gets the f out with an evil laugh*