Author: Bunnybeebooo

Reviewer: __Carrots__

Chapters Reviewed: One (the book is a completed One shot)

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o First Impressions:

Blurb wise:

•) What is the purpose of the "OR" in your blurb?
Is it a part of the divider you used, or does it have a separate meaning?

It's a very good blurb. Very interest provoking. I tried to spot faults, I even thought I found one, but no I hadn't.

No complaints with the blurb! It's very skillfully written. Except for the "OR" question.

Cover wise:

I love the cover! It's very neat at the same time it has so many elements!

The violet breezy aura that you inserted I think is the best part. The font is good too, a classic font actually, one that I have seen in a number of covers, anyhow it goes beautifully with the theme and color scheme of your cover.

The girls and their postures too are really accurate. From my perspective, it looks like the girl in the white gown is Valia, motivating and urging the purple gowned Leonara to make her own decisions! It works even better how Leonara (I guess she is Leonara) is looking ahead in the woods.

Title wise:

"The Princess And The Princess"

Girl, do you even want me to elaborate here?

Your book is a retelling of a classic romance fairy tale with an underrated at the same time ingenious plot twist.

So it was obviously a very smart and intuitive idea to name your book, "The Princess And The Princess".

In totality, there were close to zero faults in your first impressions!

o Plot\ Story-line:

I loved the idea that you had evoked. It is a very unique plot, I have never read something like this ever before on Wattpad, and I'm not the first one to say that, now am I?

Your story has won first place in two awards! Wow, that's a big deal, and I congratulate you for that!

Congratulations!

You have brought to light a concept that is considered a taboo in so many cultures and religions as well as among social ethics, and you have done a great job at it! You have decided to go with a plot that many other Wattpaders have touched too, but at the same time framed it and structured it in such a way, that it stands out.

The LGBTQ+ Community showcased in an ancient era, good job.

o Character Development:

I remember complimenting your character development skills on our first review and from there I can't say I am seeing any better.

While in "Roses & Guns", your character development was your plus point, here I'd say it's lagging behind.

Perhaps it is because the switch in narrative style?

When I thought of the lag, the above was the only pointer I could come up with.

Now I'm not saying that your character development skills have gotten worse, all I'm saying is you have experimented on a different style of writing and that's great! You have worked on it and you pulled off an amazing stunt! I loved your book! Only that you couldn't quite connect me to the book as much.

I'm not even telling you to change the narrative style, it's a first attempt ( I'm guessing) and it's developing. I pointed out the remoteness with your characters simply because I know that if I make a pointer you will understand and work more creatively on it.

But even so, you are naturally good at your character development skills, you just need to adapt more efficiently to the classic ancient narrative style that you have used to become even better.

o Grammar errors and Typos:

None!

I couldn't find a single grammatical error in your book, not a single one!

Nor could I find any significant typos, If I trust my memory, there were only two!

A full proof editing session, with three re-editing, yes?

o Writing Style:

Every writer has their own unique, and customized writing style.

"Guns & Roses" had a very modern and straight take on it's writing style, I honestly had never expected such a contrasting and amazingly well suited narrative when I first started reading, "The Princess And Princess".

I was really really very stunned, needless to say; Everything, the theme you illustrated, the atmosphere you created, the backstory you introduced, the characters you developed, seeped in together with the narration so well. Your book is a thoughtful and finished work of a naturalist; a masterpiece .

But. Yes, a but.

There were a few instances in the book in which your writing had gradually switched back to a modern day narration, this was one main reason I felt detached from the characters and stated that your character development had lagged behind.

One example; there is a conversation between Princess Leonara and one of the guards, when the Princess is found sprawled on the throne, reading a book. The dialogue goes thus;

". . . What if she decides she likes my room? What are they gonna do then? . . ."

I googled, and came to the conclusion that while slang words were used in the olden times too, they weren't very prevalent among the royal family.

Of course, this use of slang word could just be you drawing us readers towards the inclination that Leonara was a very free spirited woman and did not believe in the confinements that her royalty embraced.

But, even yet it did not justify the many more narrative switches that were obscure yet present.

I am sure you must have noticed these changes in your narrative style too, you'll work on it, won't you? 😉

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And here's your customized quote from the review! I hope you like it!

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I hope you take all my highlighted suggestions and typos and grammar corrections into consideration, because if you don't, well there won't be any point to all of this, would there?

If there are any further questions and suggestions please comment.

If you think that some parts of the review didn't stand up to your expectations, and also that you found it confusing, please let me know.

Zainab.

♡