Author : annmathew532

Reviewer : ItsmeAxelle_

Chapters reviewed : 2

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First thoughts -

When I first read the blurb and saw the cover and the title, it was all very intriguing, so well done as you really have immense potential on this storyline!

Title, blurb and cover -

The title is perfect, according to the story, it seems really apt.

The blurb is short, yet very impactful, as blurbs that end with questions are really my favourites :), though you could try adding some more, as it is only 4 lines, but you can leave it like this too, but for readers who want to read more and know more, you could add a little extra, no harm done.

The cover is really beautiful, with the swan's image blending with the violin, its very nicely done, however, you could change the font to one of italics or a little, fairy-like font? I think you get my point😁
But you have done a nice job with first impressions so yay!

Writing technicalities and grammar -

So when I first read the chapters, I found only one major flaw : Its really fast.

In chapter 1, we literally get to know the entire blurb, so I would really suggest you make some changes to it.
What you could do is, try sketching out his entire day and end it with 'Dylan, Nita's back.' to leave readers on a cliff hanger.
You could maybe start with him on his way to school and then his thoughts on the bus, or you could start with him waking up, anything that has a clear vision of how his day goes about. When he mentions about Nita, you could add maybe a memory or something in italics to know that he is thinking about the past. Even the accident part, you can add a snippet of their conversation as an introduction to what really happened that night, and not reveal that it was an accident at all, you could just term it as "That night" or something which doesn't make it too obvious that it was an accident, you can slowly build up the conversations, and fully portray the accident in a later stage.
So in this way, you get to keep a little suspense and then build your way upto the chapter where it shows the entire scene and the events leading up to it.
I hope you kinda got what I was trying to say?

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Well, I could only review so much since you have done up only 2 chapters, hope you see this review and let me know if you need more insight!❤❤

Signing off,
Axelle.🐧