Author: booklored

Reviewer: __Carrots__

Chapters Reviewed: Ten

___________________

o FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

Blurb wise:

When I opened your book details and read the blurb, I was very impressed. I liked how it seeded so many questions inside a reader's mind.

Why is he provocative? Why doesn't he have any morals?

What's his job? Why should he resist?

What's his deal?

Later, when I was done with the first ten chapters and re-read the blurb, ( I do have that habit) I realized, how at that time the blurb didn't seem half as impressive and alluring as it had seemed before.

I wondered and decided that maybe it was because I had read the book, and had more information and because I could at least answer two of the many questions that the blurb had first posed me with.

I wasn't satisfied with my conclusion.

I think, your blurb is missing something. Your story is amazing booklored, I have fallen in love! But your blurb looks a bit distorted and prejudiced, deceptive even.

When I read your book, and then later tried to associate it with the blurb, I could do so for only forty percent. I read once in a writing blog somewhere, that your blurb should introduce your book theme to the readers. Your blurb made me think that the story was about a reckless delinquent, who was still in the closet, trying as hard as he could to not show his feelings.

While this is twenty percent true to Xavier's personality, it is not the most accurate revelation. I mean there is so much more brewing in the background, you could have your readers so much more intrigued with just a bit more, implicit insight into Xavier's life.

And of course, you put through a point with his equivocal "job". Yet, something was missing.

I had an idea, maybe you could introduce S.B. Harber in your blurb. Most of the things you said in your blurb were true for S.B Harber and not Xavier himself, (you have no idea how much I had to resist including Xavier's last name here. Because it's meant to be elusive for starting readers, but I love using full names!)

Anyway, I digress. So yes, you could do that, don't mention who S.B Harber is, or how he and Xavier are related, but yet connect both their characters in such a way, that makes your blurb exponentially intriguing and stay true to your storyline.

You can be very creative here. And when readers read the book and finally know who SB is in the second chapter, I think that would be an amazing shocker.

Title wise:

Girl! I have a weak spot for eponymous title names! Oliver Twist, Jane Eyre, Robinson Crusoe, Emma, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson. . . Okay I'll stop!

Anyway, I loved the title! It's great.

Cover wise:

It's a good cover. Appealing. But it could have a few more elements.

The tagline is not visible, and considering that's the best part of the cover, "How long can he resist?" I think it should be highlighted more.

I totally love how there's smoke hiding Xavier's face! It has such a deep allegory with the book. Smoke is hazardous, and that's making his face foggy, just like his genuine identity; smoked by what he has been lead to be.

First impressions: Check! ✔

o CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:

Efficient and clear cut characters with huge elusive mysteries are a masterpiece. And you, my dear friend are a prodigal artist at creating such masterpieces.

I have totally fallen in love with Xavier, detested Grayson Shelby with all my senses, felt a strong feeling of envy for Scarlet, have been absurdly pitiful for Harold, and Rosalie, I haven't figured out her genuine character yet, maybe that is because Xavier hasn't either and that's the balance of a masterpiece; what the lead doesn't know, the reader cannot figure out.

You, booklored have made a definite and robust stroke of genius.

I might just ask you to lend me your secret ingredient for your confounding character development skills.

The way you lead us onto Xavier's exterior, tough and impenetrable personality in the first chapter and from there, the amount of revelations you made gradually, the contradictions you delivered between his interior and his exterior is very apt and remarkable.

Grayson Shelby is also a very complex character. I mean what is WRONG with him. Why can't he accept what is so obvious. Why is he doing this to Xavier, whyyy?

Anyway, digressing again. So yes, your characters should make the reader feel, whether it be intense love or intense hate, there should be emotions and feelings oozing off your characters and reaching the readers and that's happening harmoniously in your book.

Good job!

o PLOT/ STORYLINE:

I don't want to say it, I don't want to say it. Because if I do, I'll end up fangirling again.

But yours is a very well sculpted storyline. The amount of mystery combined with the amount of passion and romance that is inculcated in your book is spot on.

It's so good that I don't know what to say.

A blend of originality with just the fitting amount of truism and fantasy. Yes, I think this describes your plot certainly.

o GRAMMAR AND TYPOS:

When I first started reading your book, perhaps in the first chapter itself, I questioned your decision of wanting a review. Might sound judgmental, but honestly that was how much I marveled your story.

And hence, I felt that the only faults I could come up with would be these grammar errors and typos.

While there were possibly close to no grammar errors there were a few typos.
And I have mentioned all that caught my eye, in the first ten chapters.

I'd suggest you have an editing session again. Because lady, you have done some crazy blunders!

Having Annalise address Xavier with genuity would be considered a plot hole, especially if that mistake is repeated in the prevailing chapters too. So you need to read all your chapters intently again, to get rid of these impactive blunders that you could have made or could not have made.

Apart from that, your grammar is on par. And yes there are a few typos here and there; nothing editing can't rectify.

o WRITING STYLE:

Every writer has their own unique writing style.

Your writing style was such that it could mesmerize any apt reader. The gradual yet animated expressions, the absorbent descriptions, the accurate information, your ability to allure a reader, everything was an expert's act.

I loved your use of vocabulary. Your book being written in a first person's perspective, your word choice too plays a very important role. Because it's not you who's doing the story telling, it's your lead.

So if your lead is an uneducated gangster, that's the sort of vocabulary you use. If your character is a ten year old kid, your word choice ought to be simple. And that's how it goes. Your vocabulary should go hand in hand with your lead's character; because it's a first person narrative.

The eloquent use of words for Xavier's narrative, whether done intentionally or unintentionally just adds up to his complex character, that's your plus point. Everything that you have addressed in your book has enhanced Xavier's character in such a way that he is now a genuine, real human being, breathing beside me, shouting and hallowing at everything he is doing in the book. Such has been your talent.

I only want to say, that your book deserves all the awards it has received and is going to receive in the future.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

And here's your customized quote from the review! I hope you like it!

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Note: Please send your email-id to your reviewer to receive the direct and clear version of both the stickers within three days of the publication of the review.

___________________

I hope you take all my highlighted suggestions and typos and grammar corrections into consideration, because if you don't, well there won't be any point to all of this, would there?

If there are any further questions and suggestions please comment.

If you think that some parts of the review didn't stand up to your expectations, and also that you found it confusing, please let me know.

Zainab.