Author: Maroon_96

Reviewer: __Carrots__

Chapters Reviewed: Thirty

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o First Impressions:

Cover wise:

I think your cover is not informative enough. In the cover, the face claim is having a tattoo, but that is not the case for Divya, you haven't mentioned any such arm tattoos of Divya in the book.

Apart from that, the font too doesn't suit the dark and mysterious aura that your book revolves around. I'd expect to read such a font in a book that has got something to do with a road trip, a highschool road trip. I don't know why, but it just gives away such an aura. It definitely doesn't suit a book that is so high on mysteries and secrets and fights and mafias.

Overseeing those two faults, your cover is a good one. But of course it can be better. With a little more tweaks and twists here and there, with perhaps a different cover view, and you'll be good to go.

Blurb wise:

I liked the way your blurb started, I was hooked right there!

Although, considering that Aryan calls Divya his amor as a nickname, that is how he addresses her. The correct way to put it would be with a capitalized "A". You are missing a lot periods in the first part, also I think it would be better if you had made the sentence, "Whipped his life," a whole different line. As in;

Aryan Malik:

Owner of Malik corporation.

Dangerous, caring (only for his Amor).

Whipped her life.

See, I'd see this is a more appealing layout, don't forget to notice the punctuations that I have added to this part of the blurb, you have to add similar punctuations to Divya's profile.Now, the third part, where you have brought in a scene. Maroon_96, tell me how is that in anyway related to the blurb? It's not really.

Now, it's your choice to put in an intimate scene in your blurb, it's wholly your choice and there is no fault in doing so.

But you should always keep in mind that the scene that you attach with the blurb should even remotely relate to your blurb. And, honestly I see no such associations with the scene and the blurb.

I would suggest you add that scene where Aryan notices Div for the first time, in the cafe. That was a very well scripted scene I loved it, and I'd say it would go with the blurb too.

Title wise:

"She's the drug I'm addicted too."

Phew! That is quite a wholesome, not to mention mainstream.

If you type in your story title in Wattpad's search engine you will have about a hundred search results with that name. And honestly, it gets lost in the whirlpool.

Also, this book has romance roots, but is primarily based on action, there's some heavy loaded action in every second chapter, and with such a storyline, you can be so much more creative with your story title.

o Storyline\ Plot:

Very, very interesting. Your plot was subtly shown in every chapter, the way Div always has a gun on her, how she is so quick and instinctive, and those flashbacks you included so cleverly so that they didn't look out of place at all. I loved it all!

It was a very focussed storyline with no confusion or deviation. Every end of the chapters takes us exactly where the next element is, and eventually to the conclusion. Good job!

o Character Development:

Girl! I am giving you a standing ovation for your efficient and smooth character development skills! With every chapter there was something new that we learned about the two main characters, and by the thirtieth chapter, I had reached at a point where I could justify the lead's actions as my own!

You have done justice even to the supporting characters, which were many! So damn many! And you were so clear and knowledgeable about all of them!

Fantastic!

o Grammar and Typos:

Now, this is where you are lagging behind. There were many many grammatical errors! You have almost never capitalized pronouns, inserted commas at the wrong place, as well as quotations. There were a few tense switches too, but not very noticeable.

Your paragraph breaks too were very disturbing, but gradually you did improve them. Most of your writing layout have been such that one line doesn't look closely complete and is continued in the next line space.

This layout honestly hurts the eye. Books, paperback as well as Wattpad books have a sequential writing format, they don't add paragraph breaks right about anywhere! This layout has given your book a very unprofessional vibe.

I'd suggest a very keen editing session. Your book really needs heavy load editing.

o Writing Style:

Every author has their own writing style.

I loved yours. Honestly, there is not much I can complain here. The way you described things was really good. Your book has many elements of cliche and it also has many more elements that defies cliche! And I loved it! I loved how you have introduced so many bad ass girls in your book, and damn! Aryan is such a teddy bear!

One tragedy leads to another until it is a whole season of tragedies, and through it all you have showed us the way of being brave, confident and one's own person. And I applaud you for that! Your book has a very modern outlook and it was a breath of ardently needed fresh air!

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And here's your customized quote from the review! I hope you like it!

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I hope you take all my highlighted suggestions and typos and grammar corrections into consideration, because if you don't, well there won't be any point to all of this, would there?

If there are any further questions and suggestions please comment.

If you think that some parts of the review didn't stand up to your expectations, and also that you found it confusing, please let me know.

Zainab.

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