Author:Emily_Maxin

Reviewer: hfalcon24482375

Chapters reviewed: 10

First Impression:

⇢BLURB- Wow!

Blurbs on Wattpad are short and sweet and yours is a perfect example of that!

It tells you a bit about the beginning, a bit about the plot, but spoils nothing of the ending! You are titleitleake it very interactive by asking the reader "what they desire". I think that's a great way to get people interested!

⇢CHAPTERS- So looking at the chapters, the most immediate thing I see is 'tagged' and 'tagged again' which stand out against the numbers.

Generally, people make a 'misc' {miscellaneous} or tag book just because it can be annoying for the reader to have to scroll through that part before getting back to the actual story.

Cover/Graphics:

⇢COLOUR SCHEME- I LOVE THE COLOUR honestly, while the colour scheme is common and not something new, it's a simple and beautiful colour combination. It's always eye-catching.

⇢RELATION TO TITLE- Well quite obviously there is a child (or teen, I can't quite tell) and a moon in the cover, so it relates to the title! While some people don't always think of this, it's really important! Many times people skip over this and only relate it to the novel, so thank goodness you aren't one of those people!

⇢RELATION TO NOVEL- Your cover not only relates to the title but the story as well! I feel like there are many times along the journey where the mood of the graphics is/are evident in the story.

↠RANDOM NOTE- Your PFP still technically counts as graphics and I shall, therefore, comment on it.

It's beautiful. I love it. It's gorgeous. It's a queen and a half on its own.

Anyways back to the review!

❥Title:

*sighs* I have many comments. (AKA I never shut my trap so I have lots of things to say)

⇢ACTUAL TITLE-[MOON CHILD]

At first, I thought of an actual child of the moon. Like a huge piece of rock had a human child. It was not a good thought.

The title (as stated above) is quite thought to induce! It allows the reader's imagination to run wild and when they do, they want to know what happens so they read the book!

⇢EXTRA IN TITLE P1-[KHUN X OC: BOOK 1]

This is always helpful for a reader! On Wattpad, readers are usually looking for a good read and they can decide by even just the title! If I had to read through every blurb just to find out it was part of a series I would be extremely annoyed. Thank goodness you included this is in the title! It also lets readers know to check out your profile for the other books!

⇢EXTRA TITLE P2- [COMPLETE]

While this isn't always necessary, it's most certainly a beautiful and simple thing to add! It helps your readers/potential readers know whether or not to read it if they only enjoy reading completed stories.

⇢OVERALL- It's a wonderful title! I think it quite fits the novel itself, the cover, and the fandom! (I thinketh.)

❥Plot:

⇢PLOT HOLES- Soooo this is a fanfiction and to be quite honest I'm not a part of this fandom. I've actually never heard of it.

BUT! You have made me want to become a part of the fandom! (I will forever blame you for this.)

So you wanted me to focus on plot holes.

*inhales* Here we go.

BASICALLY NONE!

You do a really good job at explaining everything!

There are no actual plot holes although some things are a tad confusing. Everything is explained but for things that are only in that fandom, you should explain a tad more. (Some parts are relatable to other fandoms and it's not hard to figure out but other parts are solely in that fandom and are confusing.)

⇢PACE- The pace of the plot goes quite well! Nothing happens too fast and if it does there's an obvious reason! Likewise, there are not many filler scenes and even the filler scenes are important!

⇢HAPPENINGS-(AKA the events)- Everything that you write makes sense! None of the situations is confusing and they are all well thought out.

None of the individual scenes takes away from the plot, they instead, add to it and help it grow and develop.

The happenings are all also very amusing to read! Sometimes they were intense and I had to step away for like half an hour before I could continue because you are JUST THAT GOOD!

*sighs* I love this book.

❥Characters:

⇢DEVELOPMENT- I really love that we see the characters starting traits from the beginning right off the bat! That is a huge help for judging character development!

The characters develop at a decent pace. I feel like the development is too uniform-they all begin to develop around the same time, so it would be nice to have a variety.

It was, however, enjoyable to read!

⇢ROLES- The characters all play extremely crucial roles. None of them is wasted and I love that!

The characters roles are all clearly distinguishable-one is obviously the main character, one is the antagonist like character, etc.

❥Writing Style:

⇢CONSISTENCY- One of the most important parts of the story is the consistency of the language.

This is a really important part because if the style isn't consistent it may become annoying for the reader to have to deal with so many changes so quickly!

While it's fairly evident that throughout the story you've grown as a writer, your writing style has been consistent!

⇢FITTINGNESS TO THE STORY- Some people don't know what I mean so allow to briefly explain.

The writing style must match the story in a way it makes sense. For example, for a mystery you would write ominously with attention to small details, focusing mostly on logic and evidence rather than emotions.

The way you write, the mood, the word choice, the pace and the punctuation all fit the plot!

The happenings (events) are all well polished by your writing. Extremely amazing job!

❥Language:

⇢GRAMMAR/SENTENCE STRUCTURE- You have excellent grammar, which means excellent sentence structure! You have smooth sentences that just flow through my mind and wander off my tongue melodiously.

This is totally optional but you should also use contractions (is that what they're called?) a bit more. For example; 'I do not' to 'I don't' for different characters. Saying each word sounds posher and it's not for everybody!

⇢PUNCTUATION-Pretty good here!

You used exclamation marks, question marks and periods well!

I would just look out for comma splicing and uses of colons or semicolons.

⇢DETAILS- I love all the details you add! There isn't very much prose, but there's enough so you don't just tell the reader but you really show them as well!

⇢TYPOS- Of what I read there were none!

You deserve a good read sticker!

And your customised quote!

I am done!
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A BIG BIG BIG thank you to this amazing person (hfalcon24482375) who helped us out by doing a complimentary review!❤
You're a gem! 😁
Check out her account sometime!

Hope you found what you were looking for!

Good day🥂