Author: DaretoDreaminShadow

Reviewer: _DNA_732

Chapters reviewed: Eight

FIRST IMPRESSION:
I am going to be honest. I'm still marveling at how you haven't already got thousands of views on this book. When I began reading it, I was expecting it to be another teen fiction. It turned out to be anything but that. It's mysterious right from the beginning till the end.

Let's begin.

THE COVER:
Your cover seems a bit a common. Both in terms of the picture and font. It needs to stand out just like your book, if you want more people to read it. Try out a cover shop on Wattpad. There are loads of good ones.

THE BLURB:
Your blurb was what attracted me towards your book. It revealed just the right amount of details, yet hiding a lot, making readers want to learn more about it. A job well done,I would say.

WRITING STYLE:
Coming to your first chapter, the beginning wasn't very captivating, it felt sort of dull, compared to the rest of the book. So try making some changes to it. It got better by the end of the chapter, though, setting an air of mystery as to who exactly was Layla's grandfather.

The next couple of chapters were quite entertaining. Your writing has a dry humour, revealing the dark side of many things that people assume are filled with glamour. Take how you described how Layla's been taught to act in front of the press, for instance. It sounds humorous, but it is in fact, the truth.

You keep the readers under suspense so well. When each new character comes in, you reveal everything about them except their most identifying details. This has its negatives, but I'll come to that later.

Also, some of your paragraphs were extremely well versed. Keep doing a good job at that.

GRAMMATICAL ERRORS/TYPOS:
Nothing. Literally nothing. I read through some paragraphs twice to check for any mistakes, but I came up with nothing, from which it is evident that you take proofreading very seriously.

PLOT DEVELOPMENT:
You've just begun writing your book, and hence, it's too early to check for plot holes and the lot. As if now, it's a very solid plot, and it's going at a very consistent, albeit leisurely, pace.

I'm also happy to see that you've maintained the same air of mystery that you had developed at the beginning of the book. It leaves readers thirsting for more,so if you keep this up, your readers will stay with you throughout the book.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:
Layla was so relatable to me as a reader. Even though she had little in common with the common reader folk, certain traits that she expressed and the situation she was in, resonated within me, as it will with the majority of your readers. The more you make a character unique, yet relatable, the more your readers will relate with it.

The other characters' developments aren't as consistent as Layla's. While I felt like I knew Layla inside out by the time I was done reading, it wasn't the same for the other characters.

Remember when I told you hiding details about a character had its negatives? This is where I'm going to tell you about it. When you hide a character's details, even when it's something as simple as their name, people tend to find it difficult to recognise who exactly they are, when you mention them in the future. For example, when you mentioned Charles Wentworth's son, you didn't give us much details about him, except for his grey eyes. Later, when you mentioned Greyson, I was confused about who you were referring to.

Also, you've introduced a lot of characters, but they're still new to me because of how little Layla interacts with them. Ideally, they should have been introduced in the first few chapters. Try to write chapters where she gets to know more about them, so that readers find it easier to recognise one character from another.

So, that's it. While the book had its faults, they were only a few. I see great potential in this book, so keep writing the same way, while learning from your faults, and maybe someday, this book might become your biggest pride.

PM me if you have any suggestions!