Common Sense ☆ __Carrots__
Author: ElisabethEadon
Reviewer: __Carrots__
Chapters reviewed: Eight
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o FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
Blurb wise:
It's a very good blurb.
I think that the truth or dare incident that you mentioned in your blurb, and results of that game, and the introduction of the unpleasant aunt, every thing sat together very well.
The writing flow of your blurb too is very good, it gives your book a very pleasant vibe. Every incident is connected to the other one. So that's really good.
Although, the format of it looks like you just puked all your thoughts out.
Your blurb needs paragraph breaks. It looks like one lengthy piece of spontaneous thoughts. But a book blurb should be the complete opposite of it, it should be properly planned and laid out.
I'd suggest you add a paragraph break right before this line; "After a game of Truth or Dare. . ."
And also before this line; "After making a wrong turn and an unlikely friend. . ."
Because both these sentences are introducing a new incident and a new idea, so you must add a paragraph break before you begin a new scene, whether it be in your blurb or in your chapters.
Also, could you separate the author's note that you added at the last part of your blurb? The part where you say this is your first Wattpadd book, yes separate that using a paragraph break and a divider. So that we know that it's you who's talking to the readers.
Title wise:
"Common sense".
While this was a good choice for a title name, I don't see the need of it's existence.
Your book is about Abigail losing herself in the year 1775 with no resources to return to the present year, she has to rely on strangers and very limited reliable information, because as we know Abigail despises History and knows nothing.
A book with such a story line, could have such an amazing and creative title. Work on it. 😉
Cover wise:
I asked a few of my writer/reader friends to check out your cover and to let me know their first thoughts.
Majority of these feedbacks were that the cover was too simple and bland. One said that the cover looked incomplete.
And, I totally agree with that. I don't think you have put in a considerable amount of efforts into this cover.
It doesn't go with the theme of your book either.
I checked out your other two books and those covers were so good. I particularly loved the yellow cover.
I understand that this is your first book on Wattpad, but now that you have been here long enough, maybe you could furnish another cover for the book?
Or try a graphics shop?
o PLOT/ STORYLINE:
You have a very good storyline. I found it very interesting!
Honestly, it's an original plot with zero cliché clashes. And that's really good.
There might come up a few plot holes when you go further. With a story theme and genre as yours, it is palpable to fall inside plot holes. So be attentive and always keep rereading your chapters to find and any plot holes.
o GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AND TYPOS:
There weren't much grammar errors or typos for that matter.
And that's your bonus I'd say. Your grammar is naturally on par, and good grammar makes it so much easier to write as well as to read (on the part of readers).
I have read all the published eight chapters, and I'd say eight chapters are enough to determine a person's hold on their grammar.
ElisabethEadon your hold on English grammar is very strong. Keep it that way.
Your editing is good too, because I couldn't find any visible typos.
o CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:
Now this is very I haven't formed any decisive thoughts.
While the protagonist, Abigail is a very well formed character, the others don't seem to be half as well developed.
Maybe it is because they naturally are not supposed to have so much limelight or yes.
But I'd say you should have had more character development in the case of Aunt Katherine too. She is also a significant character, and readers would love to know more about her.
Eight chapters weren't enough for a full circle character development and that's why I have such indecisive thoughts here.
I think you can be good in this area too if you put more time into discovering your own chactaters.
o WRITING STYLE:
This is where you over powered all the other elements!
I am totally in love with your writing style. Let's not forget to mention that every writer has their own unique and customized writing style. And your writing style has some amazing magic.
I cannot clearly point it out, but there was something in your writing that totally drew me in. Maybe it was your way of narration, yes that definitely was it. But I don't know a word for that yet.
I'd say it gives me a country feeling, but I don't know how that works so ahhaaha.
All I'll say is, you have an amazing writing style and you go can so much further with it.
With a story line so original and interesting and a character with a natural tendency to get into trouble, and an adventure to behold, your writing is the cherry on top.
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That's it, that's my review. :)
I hope you take all my highlighted suggestions and typos and grammar corrections into consideration, because if you don't, well there won't be any point to all of this, would there?
If there are any further questions and suggestions please comment.
If you think that some parts of the review didn't stand up to your expectations, and also that you found it confusing, please let me know.
Zainab.
♡
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