Chapter 58: Destined to Fall Apart
Jimin stood there; gawking at the doorknob as he grew tempted to walk in and face Jungkook. But how could he confront him now? How could he confront him in front of everyone and try to influence his decision after so much. All those moments he called the boy 'Hyunwon', he became so careless when it came to Jungkook's feelings towards that name in particular. Now that Jungkook knew so much about what Jimin was hiding, Jimin stepped back and could already tell by the silence that Jungkook was deciding to leave him too.
"How could I be so stupid... How could I do this to him? He's going to leave me... because I made him believe that I didn't care about him..." Jimin thought to himself as the silence beyond the door continued. However, Jimin just couldn't stand there to hear Jungkoook confess that he wanted to leave, so the man paced away from the door and turned the other way. Walking to the elevator with tears racing down his right eye. Not wanting to hear the words of Jungkook planning to get rid of him and run off. As strong as the vampire was, Jimin just couldn't bring himself to stand there any longer when it came to the rude awakening that Jungkook was not like any other.
"I..." Jungkook whispered and continued to stare at the ground before him. "Kill him? How could I do such a thing? Even from the start I didn't have the heart to do it. Why would I do it now?" Jungkook argued in his head and exhaled heavily while Seokjin and Hoseok awaited an answer. "To kill him... is something I could never do... not even from the beginning did I ever want to see him suffer. No matter how upset I get, to harm someone I love so much... is something I could never do. Even if he harmed me emotionally, returning the favor by harming him physically and emotionally won't make me any better..." Jungkook spoke up and dried his tears. "I'll confront him... I'll confront him after all the things he's done, killing him isn't going to fix anything. I will get through to him..."
Seokjin carefully patted the boy's shoulder and nodded his head. "Please, whatever happens, don't forget about us this time... we've waited long enough and I'm sorry to push this onto you so often. I guess we're just desperate to escape."
"No, it's okay. I understand... I would feel the same way if I was trapped here and kept at death's door every second. I don't blame you two for wanting freedom. I won't forget you two along with everyone else here. I'll make sure this will be the day you all are set free," Jungkook assured and leaned back against the couch and let out a sigh.
"Collecting your thoughts before you face him? It must be very difficult for you..." Hoseok mentioned and watched the boy nod his head softly. "We'll be patient. Take your time, confronting him must be something scary for you."
"I'm not afraid of him in any way, but to confront him about the things I know now, it makes me so anxious about everything. But this is something I can't run away from... not when he helped me break through my fear of confrontation... he's always been there for me mentally and I've always thought there wouldn't be anything that would get in between us. I guess I didn't believe that he would harm me after everything he's done for me," Jungkook whispered and continued to remain over the couch as he finally looked up at Seokjin. "When everyone is free, what will you all do next?"
"Go home... keep in contact with some people we know in the hotel... what about you, Jungkook? What are you going to do when you finally get out of here?" Seokjin wondered as Jungkook grew silent at the question.
"You do plan on leaving too, right?"
Jungkook never really thought of it this way, he never planned to leave this place without Jimin. Even if he was upset with the man and despised the belief that he was nothing but a replacement to Hyunwon, he never thought he would leave Jimin. Deep down, the boy still loves his Jimin and hopes that confronting him will fix it all. But to leave the man he loved and has been through a lot with, was something Jungkook couldn't imagine doing.
Out of all the things in Jungkook's life; his family, his friend, his home, Jungkook couldn't imagine returning to it. But he did imagine staying with Jimin because even though he wasn't what he wanted, he knew he was all that Jimin needed right now. To leave a man alone for another eternity like this, was enough to leave Jimin losing his mind too. So, Jungkook longed to stay with Jimin and through every situation, he hoped to work past it. Of course, that was what confronting was for at the end of the day. That was something Jungkook learned from Jimin at the very beginning.
"No... I don't want to leave him... even if he wanted another and even if his mind belonged to another at the moment, it would only be temporary. I told him... I told him before I would be patient but after reading t-those entries," Jungkook whispered and let out a sigh before continuing on. Showing how much the entries alone bothered him and made him anxious. "I just got so mad... I lost my patience then.. but now that I'm clearing up my thoughts, I know that something like this for Jimin... it's so difficult for him... but it doesn't make it right. Heaven knows if I let this go on any longer, he would forget the name Jeon Jungkook, and only call me by Hyunwon's name. I need to stand for what I say and not let him get through me like this. In time, he will realize that this is what he needs to move on from such a traumatic experience."
Jungkook silenced the room with his powerful words that managed to see through the minds of Hoseok and Seokjin. They didn't believe there was so much going on with Jimin and just assumed he was an angry monster that killed whenever he craved the sensation of blood sliding down the corners of his crimson, plump, lips. But as they listened to Jungkook's words, they now understood what it meant for Jungkook to love such a creation like Jimin himself.
Jungkook looked over to the bottle of alcohol far from his reach, but turned his gaze away. Knowing well that he didn't need it as soon as he was able to fix and confront his own thoughts on his own. He distracted himself from the feeling and no longer craved the bitter taste in his mouth. For a moment there when he was in frustrated tears, he wanted to give in to his addiction and give up on staying sober. But then, as Hoseok and Seokjin denied his request, it allowed him to sort his mind out on his own and finally confront his own problems from within without having to run away again.
After a while of just speaking to the two about anything to become less stressed about it all, he loosened up after a good fifteen to twenty minutes and finally knew when it was time to face Jimin about everything. He got up and stretched as his heart began to race the moment he looked towards the door.
"Thank you, Jungkook... thank you for not forgetting about us entirely," Hoseok confessed as a gleam filled his eyes. He was happy to know that he, along with everyone else, was going to be set free after all the painful and endless days being stuck in that hotel. After losing so much, Jung Hoseok and Kim Seokjin finally knew that this was it. They were going to leave this place no later than today.
Jungkook smiled at the two and nodded his head before raising a hand and making a faint wave before leaving the two alone just so he could finally face Jimin. As soon as the door closed, Hoseok looked at Seokjin as the two gave each other a big hug out of tears they shed from the overwhelming joy they held. Finally anticipating their long awaited taste of freedom.
Jungkook felt at ease now. He walked down the hall and tried not to imagine the moment and set any expectations for himself at all. As he believed he was going to get past this with a smile, he quickly doubted that thought as he stepped into the elevator. Anxiously counting the seconds it took as the elevator dropped to another floor. He tried to clear his anxious thoughts; every little thought that feared what Jimin could do when he found out his lover was snooping around in his journal. This left blood racing through Jungkook as his hands began to tremble once again.
Every thought in his head kept surfacing like air bubbles under water. But as they reached the surface, they popped and made the little lamb grow nervous about confronting Jimin. Yet, was he going to run away from this now? No. He was no longer the coward that ran away from his issues. Jeon Jungkook was finally someone he always hoped to be.
By the time the elevator reached the sixth floor, he blocked out other noises around him as he battled on in his thoughts to silence them. He didn't even notice that the melody of the elevator no longer sounded distorted and was finally fixed to the point where Jungkook could have easily listened to the song without any interruptions. On the other hand, he was trying so hard to fight off any other thoughts that would make him press the button to the lobby instantly.
Once he stepped out of the elevator and listened to it close behind him, he walked forward as he passed by the many vacant rooms within the fully illuminated hall. Jungkook finally walked forward and reached the door within seconds. The moment his trembling hands latched onto the door knob, his breathing hitched as he turned it and pushed the door forward. Once his eyes scanned the dimmed room, he suddenly noticed the window up ahead was no longer boarded up.
Up ahead, Jimin sat on Jungkook's side of the bed before the window. Staring off to the distance while the sunlight couldn't reach his gloved hands resting over his knees. He knew many things now and wished he didn't have to leave evidence about it just so Jungkook wouldn't find the missing pieces to it all. He believed he became messy with his secrets and now, Jungkook knew the worst parts of him. The imperfect sides that left him with his flaws cutting deep into his twisted soul.
"Jimin... I need to talk to you I-"
"Jungkook... please...don't say another word... I know what you're here for...and I know why you're here. All because of the things I did and what... I couldn't protect you from," Jimin whispered and turned his head to the side where Jungkook could see his right eye. Tearing up at the sight of him. "If you're going to kill me or run away from me, do it now. I don't care about myself and what I'll feel after anymore. I'm exhausted. Exhausted that I have to live through this every lifetime on repeat. That I have to lose you in every lifetime and spend most of it looking for you," Jimin continued and then looked forward at the window up ahead. "In a perfect world, there would be no us. In a perfect world, you would have found happiness far from this grim hotel. Your time with me has passed... you don't have to keep running back to me in every lifetime, Jeon Jungkook. We were destined to fall apart."
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro