I'm gonna make a real effort to update this more hhhh

I edited this puppy on a phone so typossss

Kakashi's pov

I pressed my lips together as I gazed down at Raven. I really don't want a repeat of yesterday. Being flipped onto my stomach with my arms pinned behind my back isn't my favorite way to start the morning. I'll have to tread lightly. Play it safe. Touching her is a no-go, so I'll have to rely on something else to get her up and out of bed. I cleared my throat. "Raven," I kept my voice soft, "it's time to get up."

She moved ever so slightly, and my back went rigid as something whizzed past me. I turned around, staring in absolute horror at the pen that had embedded itself into the wall. A plastic pen, at that. I immediately turned around and trudged right out of the room. A trip to the hospital is yet another way I don't like starting my mornings. I need to be smart about this. I should have purchased a long-range water fun when I had the chance.

I stood in the hall, peering into the room. I took a deep breath. I did the only thing I could think of to wake her up. I opened my mouth and let out the loudest scream I could muster up.

Raven's pov

I woke up to the most horrifying scream I have ever heard in my life. It made me fall right out my damn bed and onto the cold, hard ground. I immediately zoned in on Kakashi, who snapped his mouth shut upon seeing me awake. I stared at him with a dry glare. I truly hope it conveys my complete and utter amusement. I'm sure he can feel it rolling off in waves.

Kakashi and I stared at each other for a full five seconds before he decided it was probably a good idea to, you know, run. Smart man. If he'd hung around, I most definitely would have killed him with the plastic spork I keep tucked between my boobs for emergencies.

I managed to get up and trudged towards the door. I slammed that damn thing shut as hard as I could. Hopefully he gets the message. If he does that again, I'm killing him. Like really, really killing him. His head will be removed from his body. I know I almost killed him with a pen, but who's fault is that? Besides, I needed a place to hang my backpack anyway.

I grabbed the backpack, slamming the door back open. I know I'm acting like a brat, but my life flashed before my eyes. I woke up to some freaky-ass banshee shriek that just about made me start crying and begging for my pathetic little life. I think I should be allowed to be at least a little mad. Pedophilic man randomly adopts you? Wakes you up by screaming like he's being murdered? That's two red flags.

I took a quick shower. It was a pain to ignore Igneous's pleas to use scented soap. I managed. I was in, and then I was out, getting dressed and ready to go in my usual attire. Faintly, I could hear Kakashi moving about somewhere else in the house. I sighed, pinning my braided bangs up as I trudged back across the frigid hallway and back into my bedroom. I hung my portable room on the pen embedded in the wall. It stayed. See, I wasn't trying to kill Kakashi! I was just unconsciously trying to decorate while being innovative at the same time.

I made my way downstairs. 'Hey Kuro,' I said, 'I was thinking we could uh... Create something.'

"Like what?" He asked curiously.

'I'm not really sure. Something new. If I'm going to need a ninja, I'm gonna need some cool shit tucked up my sleeve to make up for everything I can't do.'

"Sounds reasonable. Any ideas?" He hummed.

'I'm prone to injury, so I'm thinking something with healing properties. I'm about to become a ninja... As if I didn't get injured enough before.' I scoffed slightly.

"Maybe some sort of pill or liquid." He suggested.

'Sounds promising. Something that could speed up my healing even more than it already is would work well.' I responded thoughtfully. I have an affinity for breaking bones. Mine, and other people's.

"Glorious idea. Now, how will we achieve it?" He questioned. He already knows how, I bet, but he wants me to figure it out. Fuck.

'I guess we'll have to do some research. All the ingredients need to be somewhat edible. Poisoning myself isn't something I want to do.' I responded.

"I suppose I shall dwell on it as well. Perhaps we could use chakra to do it." Kuro speculated.

'Yeah. Speaking of chakra, I still can't use it for shit. I should go see the old geezer.' I realized.

"Raven, are you okay? You're kind of staring off into space." Kakashi said, snapping me from my productive conversation with Kuro. I blinked for a moment before coming up with a lie. If I had a dollar for every time I smoothly liked myself out if a situation, I'd have about five dollars-

"I'm just thinking. Tomorrow is graduation and I still can't use chakra." I said, smooth as a baby's legit ass. Damn, look at me go. I should do this shit for a living. Seriously, why the fuck isn't the author paying me--

"I suppose you're right." He said. "Oh, catch." He tossed an actual iron ingot at me. I scrambled to catch it. What does he think my reflexes are, huh?! He's gonna give me a concussion! I can turn to metal, but not that fast. Jesus Christ, I'm going to die here.

"Thanks." I said, managing not to drop it. He gave a brief wave over his shoulder, and with that I was out the door. I took a bite out of the ingot. At least he had the audacity to get some quality metal. I'm balancing on a thin line. On one side is polite, patient silence. On the other is straight up murder.

"We need buck antlers from the Nara's deer. They hold immense health benefits." Kuro said suddenly. What the fuck is a Nara?

I made it to the academy in record time, no thanks to Igneous who seemed to think I was going the wrong way. I'm really not sure why. He isn't the brightest crayon in the box at times, which is ironic seeing as he produces some pretty bright flames.

I entered the room. Everyone's here except for Naruto and Iruka, which somehow doesn't surprise me in the least. I shrugged and took a seat. Nobody really seemed to notice my arrival, and if they did, they didn't care too much. Some gazed at me a little longer than others, and a brief whisper was heard seeping around the room, but that's about all I got. I won't complain. Gossip never leads to anything good.

A man in an animal mask slid open the door, silencing everyone. I stared dumbly. What the fuck is this, a cosplay convention? "I need Raven." The man said in a formal sort of tone. I stood up. Whispers about me and this ANBU, whatever that is, filled the room as I trudged towards the man. I'm about to get my skinny white ass murderized, and ain't nobody gonna know it happened.

He grabbed my arm as soon as I was close enough to touch. I would have screamed rape if he hadn't teleported so fast. The sensation made my gut flip and my head spin. It took my disoriented self a second to realize where we'd appeared. By the time I'd processed, the ANBU was bowing and teleporting away, leaving me with the Hokage and a giant scar-covered dude in a bandana.

"Whomst the fuck?" I raised an eyebrow, gesturing towards Ibiki. "Are you trying to sell me into the slave market, old man? I will fight you."

The man with the scars seemed more than a little irked by my bold, yet extremely justified, questioning. "Oi, respect the Hokage, you brat." He snapped irritably. Somebody didn't get their morning coffee.

"Make me, Gigantor." I shot back.

"What did you just call me?" Gigantor the Almighty growled. I glared at him, and he glared back.

"Stop it, you two. Ibiki, this is Raven. Raven, this I'd Ibiki Morino. He'll be training you for the genin exams." The Hokage said. Um, I think the fuck not.

"What?" Ibiki and I ended up asking at the same time. All the more reason for me to hate him. If he thinks he can steal my thunder and get away with it, he's dead wrong

"I don't want to he trained by... That." I didn't have to feign my complete and utter disgust.

"Well would you look at that; the Brat's scared." Ibiki smirked.

"Oh yeah. I'm quaking in my genuine leather boots." I scoffed sarcastically.

"Fine. Meet me at training ground 66 at 6:09 P.M. sharp." He snapped. Satan, is that you? I saw that 666 in there. The Illuminati ain't slick.

"Sounds like you've made plans! Wonderful! Now, you're both dismissed." The Hokage said in an overly pleasant tone that told me he was done dealing with our complete and utter bullshit. I can't day I blame the guy.

I began to slink towards the door, glaring at Ibiki as he strode past me. "Actually, Raven, wait a moment." The Hokage stopped me before I could make it out the door. I tried to hide my annoyance as I turned around. He stared at me for a while. I stared back.

"Okay, you may go." He waved me off. I raised an eyebrow. Did I miss something? It really seems like I missed something. I guess it doesn't matter. I need to experiment with that pill thing anyway  my first order of business is to obtain the all-great deer antlers that apparently the Nara have. I don't know what a Nara is exactly, so finding that out should be a good start.