PEARL

"I think you should stop and rest."

The echo of François's voice resonated throughout the cave, bouncing off glittering ice pillars and dark rock. The cave would have looked like a gorgeous, private winter wonderland if I hadn't been experiencing an anxiety attack.

Instead, it resembled a dark, icy prison.

With a huff, I came to a halt on the fifteen-minute-long trail I had been going back and forth on, glaring daggers at her. I wasn't sure why I was mad at her; I was simply too tense, too agitated, and couldn't sit still.

I was about to... snap.

It had been like this for the past four days: me stressing out while Shadrach and François chatted incessantly in scientific jargon, which made my head throb with a killer headache. They had stuff to do. I didn't. I was only left with my thoughts.

Lucky me.

Tomorrow, the earth was due to be destroyed. How could they sit around and talk about technology with that fact, especially since we were on the planet that was about to be destroyed?

Did the council change their minds yet? Was it still safe to be here? Shadrach wasn't giving me much, just the occasional grunt and nod, or shake of his head, whenever I tossed a question his way.

Thankfully, I wasn't cold thanks to the new bracelet. Walking here was easy. The bracelet created an invisible bubble that melted the snow as I trudged through it, even though it went knee-high. My clothes got wet from the journey, but I was still warm.

The wind howled outside, echoing in our dark, rocky hole. Shadrach was dead set on not letting me know where we were. It could have been Antarctica, it could have been northern Russia for all I knew.

I did not know how long the bracelet's effect would last. But we didn't need it to last for much longer. Soon, this would all be over, and we would come out alive.

Hopefully.

Shadrach had placed glowing orbs around the cave, illuminating the area so we didn't stumble over rocks and slip on ice. Sleeping bags and backpacks containing personal items, food, and water were arranged in the center of the well-lit area.

Shadrach never slept. Instead, he stood guard at the entrance, safe from my constant nagging. He said that if something grave were to happen, he'd let me know.

I wasn't sure if it was the nervousness or the boredom that was getting to me. Maybe both. But my eye wouldn't stop twitching, and my mind was so all over the place that I had forgotten François asked me a question.

"I can't stop and rest," I snapped, hugging myself. "I can't sleep. I can't think. I've been forcing myself to eat so Shadrach doesn't boot me back to Lare."

My stomach twisted, pain shooting down to my legs. My dreams as of late were nightmares comprising an alien council I'd never even seen before, their profiles hidden in shadows, nothing but their fingers visible as they pointed at me in accusation.

François sat on a trunk full of supplies, one leg daintily crossed over the other. She brushed the dirt off of her left boot and gave me a withering look. At her feet were hundreds of papers with all kinds of smart people doodles I couldn't understand.

She looked like she was about to retort, but stopped when I put my hands on my knees. A sharp stab of anxiety stabbed into my stomach, then soon after, my chest. Keep it together. You have to keep it together.

My autism and nervousness were biting me in the ass right now.

I can't just stand around and do nothing!

My heartbeat roared in my ears at the thought of being dead tomorrow. At the thought of never seeing Dumuzi again. My stomach heaved. My skin tingled and burned as I vomited all of my stress onto the icy, dirt-covered floor.

As I continued to gag, François rushed over to me and raked her hands through my hair to remove the angry, oily snarls from my face. "Pearl!"

I choked and spluttered, tears stinging my eyes as a horrible sob wracked through me. A surge of embarrassment took hold, making my words sound harsh. "I'm fine," I rasped when I found a breath. "Please find me something to clean this up with before Shadrach sees—"

I snapped my head up.

Too late, because aliens moved silently, and there he was, standing at the outer edge of the light, his eyes wide with... anger.

Of course it was anger.

"Sorry," I whimpered. To both of them.

I cringed, awaiting his verdict, because a barrage of judgments and frustration could be felt under his gaze.

"Before you rip her a new one, give us a second." François tucked my hair behind my ears and flapped a hand at him dismissively. Her beautiful brown eyes were grave. "Water. Get her water, Shadrach."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I panted, shaking my head, trying to dispel the nausea. Being away from Dumuzi like this really, really got to me. Mixed with everything else.

I was sure he was blisteringly angry with me. Not only that, but I probably hurt him. Badly. Made him worry. Made him look weak to his kind. He needed a strong, respectable, brave, and intelligent woman by his side, and I wasn't that.

I was everything but that.

François offered me a bottle of water. I took it, hands shaking, as I uncapped the top and took a sip. The water was warm, not cold, and more than welcome in my mouth. "Thank you."

François patted my back. "Of course."

"She's just stressed," she said over her shoulder to Shadrach.

I didn't even want to look at him. I knew he was angry, only adding to the stress making me sick. I didn't want to puke again, so I stared at the floor of the cave and focused on calming my erratic pulse.

His voice was like rolling thunder. "You are ill."

I expected him to say something else, to verbally rip me apart, but he didn't. I straightened up to meet his green gaze, his hair and face dark with a halo of light shining behind his head. In that light, dirt and snowflakes danced and landed in his midnight hair. I was expecting a stony face, maybe an angry one, but I did not expect what was really there.

It was shock.

So much for calming my heart rate. I blinked at him, my neck prickling with his unease. Enukis were never uneasy. Was there something wrong? Dumuzi? The council? My brain spiraled and my stomach clenched again.

Oh god, no.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Did you hear something?"

François's eyes were hard on his face, a pucker between her eyebrows. She dusted off her white and black coat with her hands. Shadrach remained still, his eyes having yet to move, burning holes into me.

"No." He cocked his head to the side. He inhaled through his nose, his expression looking even more shocked, and then he...

Stumbled back a few steps, making a face as if I smelled bad.

I frowned. I probably did smell, but what was the big deal? "It's been a few days since I've had a bath. Get used to it." I folded my arms over my chest. "I know you're angry, so just... lay into me already. Give me all you've got. Let me know how awful of a sister-in-law I am, how I bring Dumuzi shame. If you haven't noticed, I'm—"

I wiped away tears. Jesus, was I crying?

"—I'm losing my marbles, here, Shadrach, and all you two talk about is technology like this is no big deal. And you can't force me to leave. Not until tomorrow."

His lips mashed together into a thin line. Nothing I said looked to be getting into him. His next words brought ice to my core. "I'm afraid not, Pearl. This needs to end. I am giving our coordinates to the council."

His voice was like a hammer striking an anvil, ringing with finality. Deep, brash, authoritative. He turned to leave.

All of my stress crested like a violent wave, and I finally snapped. My last bit of restrain frayed away in the wind, unleashing a rant— a torrent of emotion so strong that I was surprised I didn't destroy the planet with my wrath alone.

I chased after him, about to give him a piece of my mind. Fuck everything. Fuck this. Fuck him.