PEARL

The weird mattress I slept on was hard and too uncomfortable. My aching back screamed in protest, radiating pain down both legs. I tossed and turned for a while, trying to find a position that didn't make half of my body numb from pinched blood vessels, and gave up.

My stomach churned.

Around me, the room was dimly lit, so it was hard to see. François snored in a bunk above me, oblivious to the emotions that stormed inside of my chest like a hurricane. That chest in question also tightened, like four ropes wrapped around it, squeezing like a boa.

The air had a cold bite to it, causing goosebumps to sprout across my skin. The area between my hips cramped, and I groaned quietly.

Was I seriously about to start my cycle now?

I whimpered.

As if things couldn't possibly get worse. Truth be told, the amount of stress I'd been experiencing should have staved it off for a few more weeks.

I raced through memories and the bitterness of my emotions, trying to make sense of the mess in my head. I struggled. Half of my memories were missing, leaving me with strange blank gaps that concerned me.

But they weren't quite empty spaces, either, because something occupied them I couldn't make out. I froze, sucking in a sharp breath that hissed through my teeth.

Wait.

Not a something, a somebody.

A person watched calmly through my eyes, barely noticeable unless I focused on it. There was something fluttering at the edges of the invader's mind, tangy and sharp.

Anger?

I inhaled steadily through my nostrils. The sweet smell of a familiar male I knew expanded my lungs. A sense of happiness overwhelmed me, but guilt and unease quickly chased it away.

"Well... crap," I moaned.

Please stay out of my head, Dumuzi, I begged. You aren't getting anything from me, so don't even try. I'm exhausted.

My neck muscles tightened like taut piano wires. I rubbed my temples, trying to maintain my loud breathing so I didn't wake Francois. Even though I was angry at being violated in this way, my eyes prickled.

I missed him.

Could he feel that? Could he hear the way my mental voice wrapped around his name like a hug? I didn't want him to think this had anything to do with him, about me leaving.

I ached to be with him. To touch him, to hear him chuckle, and to feel his body on mine. We had such little time together, to really peal back our layers.

My head was about to explode if he didn't get out of it.

There weren't supposed to be two people in it. There wasn't much of a reaction from him to my words, which didn't surprise me. The man had a flawless poker face, and it seemed that extended to the way his brain worked.

His presence in my head intensified. Tingles covered the surface of my skin. Dumuzi was only stepping his toes in. If he were to fully enter my head, I'd be quickly overwhelmed.

More anger came through and I tasted copper. I bit my tongue and cringed on the slab of metal that was a pathetic excuse for a bed.

What is your location?

His voice was so loud it was like it wasn't in my head, but in my room. I closed my eyes, cutting off senses and information that his quick brain would use to make deductions on my whereabouts.

Somewhere in space having a menstrual cycle, I told him. You know, as most women do. How are you?

Good thing I didn't know where I was or where I was going. He seemed to realize that, his vise inside of my brain lessening. I took in a shaky breath of relief.

He didn't answer.

I love you, was all I said to him. I'm so sorry about this. For all of this.

That was all I could offer. I was a terrible partner right now, but I was stronger than what his kind gave me credit for. I had my own thoughts and opinions—and those should be respected.

Earth meant something to me. The people still living there–and trying to survive–meant something to me.

It is only a matter of time before I find you, was the last thing I heard before he left.

The anger I sensed from him begged my apologies, but I wouldn't ask him to return. Would things ever be the same between us? I didn't realize I was crying until François's eyes peered at me from above.

"Est-ce que ça va?" Her eyebrows knit together. "Oh. You are crying."

"Huh?"

She rubbed sleep out of her eyes, the dark braids of her hair falling over the side of her bunk. "Are you well?"

"Trying to be," I said, curling over on my side.

I closed my eyes.

I was really, truly trying to be.

***

We made it to Earth a few hours later. I wasn't sure where we landed, and Shadrach would not give me that information.

Instead, he crossed his arms and glared at me as all three of us sat around the entrance of the ship. "You are ill. This plan ends now."

I folded my arms across my chest, too, because just a moment ago, they were holding my midsection. I matched his glare. "It's just a period," I shot back. "Give me a break. I know your women had those too. You guys didn't even take the liberty of editing that part out of making us. I took some painkillers. I'll be fine in five days, anyway."

François had my back on this, I guessed, because she raised her eyebrows at him. She leaned against a window overlooking a hillside covered in snow. The sky was dark and angry. The wind was violent, blowing snow drifts in the air into powdery vortexes.

Behind Shadrach's head, the cabin of the ship glittered with various lights and pulsing equipment. I sat up from my too-big-alien chair, wincing.

"It's the first one I've had in a long time." I shrugged. "Stress. Not eating well enough. Did you forget I survived the end of my world?"

"No, I did not forget," he said, but his tone was lighter. Maybe he actually believed me. "We will wait here until the medication takes effect. We are trekking in the snow."

"To where?" I didn't bring any snow boots, big jackets, or blankets. I wore just a flimsy jacket and jeans.

"Underground, where it will be harder to detect us."

"What about the ship?" François asked. "Would they not be able to detect this vessel?"

"Of course." He met her gaze. "Once we are out, I will program it to be undetectable, even to the unaided eye. Regarding the equipment needed to hike through this frozen precipitation, you will need these."

He fished something out of his large, sweeping trench coat. He tossed something to me and I caught it.

François caught hers, too. "Oui! It's perfect!"

I held up a strange silver device, turning it to the side. It blinked at me with a small red light in the center. It was yet another bracelet, but thicker—not thin and pretty like the one containing Osa.

"What does it do?" I asked, clasping it on my wrist.

"Controls the humidity, temperature, and climate around you, much like how the dome works in New Dilmun. This is what we were working on when we went there." François put a finger to her chin. "Just one of the many thousands of things I have in mind to make. I didn't think to use this for our journey. Thank you, Shadrach."

Shadrach surprised me by bowing. "Of course. The Enuki welcomes and cherishes all brilliant ideas. It was an honor having your knowledge alongside mine."

"Even if our technological advances are outdated in comparison?" she mused, putting the bracelet on with a snap. "We could have truly changed the world with your tech."

A shadow passed over Shadrach's features, but before I could make sense of it, it was gone. Did she say something that upset him?

His voice was clipped and his tone forced. "All things must start somewhere."

She rose a delicate eyebrow at him, then her gaze turned knowing. The look on her face was almost... sad. I opened my mouth to blurt out a question, but thought better of it and pressed my lips together.

Strange. I was missing something—a double meaning—to her earlier words, and whatever was being communicated between them went way over my head. Typical.

I was sure the technology would make our journey a little less dangerous, but I couldn't find it within myself to be relieved. Not even when François perked right back up like nothing happened, flashing me a timid smile.

Instead, I tried not to rub my aching back, staring out of the window at the biting cold, my stomach twisting.