DUMUZI

Not enough.

To support my balance, I placed my palm on the slick wall in front of me. Burning water flowed down my back, spilling onto the marbleized stones below. As my body protested the infuriatingly minuscule amount of dopamine rushing through my veins, an ache throbbed in every bone in my body, both hearts pounding fast.

Pearl.

I did not rely on microbiotics to ease the agony of my desire. I concluded masturbation would be a good way to remedy my issue.

I was mistaken.

Not nearly enough.

My brothers may regard me as weak for empathizing, but I would be sorry for everything to be inside her. There was not a part of her I did not ache to touch–to taste, to caress, to discover; to leave my mark on, bask in her femininity, and to declare her as mine throughout the cosmos.

My aching arousal desired Pearl, not the hand that stroked my length, spurring groans from the back of my throat. It was similar to extinguishing a blaze with a handful of water. Her pheromones had been removed from the water, which should have helped me clear my mind, but it left me missing her company. She had told me yes, she was willing to be mine.

Did she have any idea what I would do to her, the moment I held her intimately?

No.

I rested both of my hands on the wall in front of me. My pleasure was hers if she wanted it. If I was worthy of her having it.

I would never be worthy of her to begin with.

I was apprehensive about solidifying our bond and becoming an official pair. Humans were incompatible with a mate who would spend every waking moment mating for days, if not weeks, putting them at risk of dehydration, exhaustion, and bodily harm...

This needed to be explained to her before—

Before I lose myself completely.

It had been weeks since I had slept well. Recently, my appetite had been insatiable. This was my body's way of preparing for the nutritional deficiency that would occur during the final bonding process. Because of being around Pearl, she hastened my death.

It was unclear how much time I had left, so I stopped checking.

My body was steadily deteriorating. My hearts were having difficulty pumping blood, causing dizzying palpitations. I was adept at hiding this from her, but my control was slipping.

I exited the washroom and dressed, neglecting my wet hair. I was no longer concerned with appearances. I typically preened over my appearance, as most male Enukis do, but I had a meeting with the council in ten minutes.

They had grown accustomed to my mood and contempt for formality in recent weeks. Osa hummed at me, a hologram informing me that Pearl was experiencing emotional distress. That was not surprising, given the things she learned today.

I cast my gaze through the window to my right, eyeing the silver dome of a dwelling where my mate was. Mine.

My hand on the window frame tightened, dust particles falling down and coating the front of my jacket. My fingers dug into the dark rock, paying tribute to anybody who argued against that truth.

Anyone except for her.

I spent the previous five centuries concentrating on mathematics, science, and astronomy. I believed that the next discovery, the next successful experiment was elation. I could bend waves of light and make complicated and simple life; I could study the principles of dark gravity and harness the cosmos' enormous power; I could manipulate the entire universe.

Yet she has reduced me to a creature of flesh fumbling around in the dark—wanting, needing, and aching in so many ways. It used to anger me.

Now I relished it.

"High Councilman Dumuzi, it is time."

I was unaware the door had opened.

It was Ogrik, judging by the scent that billowed about me, causing my jaw to clench. My brethren were wise enough to maintain a safe distance, but Ogrik placed an undue amount of trust in me. He already had a mate. Smelling another male in my state signified competition to certain parts of my brain, and no male would take away my Pearl.

My journeys home from her had left me jovial, despite my physical pain. Males were increasingly expressing a desire for that themselves, viewing projections of Pearl with curiosity rather than disgust.

Pearl was mine.

A need for violence made my teeth grind. Perhaps my brother was right, and this was the flaw in our kind to need a counterpart so viscously, but I cared not.

"Yes," I said, pulling my gaze from the window. "Let us go."

Before I left my room, I grabbed my spear, which resembled an odd trinket until activated. It was terrible of me to even ponder using it, but I would for Pearl.

***

Concerned gazes came from every direction. It did little to surprise me. I knew what they were seeing: a disturbed man on the verge of violence, a brewing storm, a disaster.

The only ones who did not gaze at me were the elders. On Nibiru, they kept their elderly women safe. Mine was only a few miles away, and I'd rather be there to mend the ache in her soul.

Shadrach sat beside me, completing the council's semicircle of glistening silver chairs. The murals on the walls represented historical conflicts; the domed, yawning ceiling above me portrayed our life-giving to all species—a common theme of this palace. I felt out of place in such a room.

My mood was far too foul for it.

Our consultation would begin with the three elders who looked forward with vacant expressions, their eyes colorless and milky, their skin wrinkled and folded. Their long silver beards shined in the overhead light. The thought of Pearl appearing here to plead her case for Earth's survival concerned me. Without a doubt, she would be afraid under the intensity of their stares, and feeling out of sorts in a place so ancient and alien.

Degnath was the only Enuki who did not appear anxious. His damaged face from countless wars seemed... bored. This came as no surprise. He was the only one who despised the prospect of ever having a mate; it would divert his attention away from his work, for which he was willing to die for.

It surprised me that Emmoth spoke first, rather than the elders. His gaze pierced me with accusation, and I tilted my head.

"You look a mess, Dumuzi. Why are you here? Your word is not worth merit if you are out of your wits. You look deranged."

I gave no reply, only chuckling once under my breath. My gaze fixed on the center elder, Qhin, determined not to hear any outlandish remarks. What mattered most were the elders' words—most notably, Qhin's.

Qhin's eyes remained half-lidded, yet a spark of amusement gleamed deep within them. Qhin was the most forgiving of the three–the one who seemed to enjoy life, and his was expansive as the vast stars.

The other two couldn't be bothered.

The guards overlooking the entrance seemed to tense with the atmosphere. Their backs, clad in black fabric, were taught. Our technologies in every corner of the room were switched off to make it easier to hear one another. Their limbs were still, eyes shut, seeming to be asleep.

Yes, I do believe I'd much rather be with Pearl.

"His comments would be the most significant thing here today," Qhin countered, his deep, quiet voice clear. Each councilman snapped their heads up to the sound of his voice. "Emmoth. Where has your consciousness gone?"

"Where is Dumuzi's?" he retorted, folding back his white sleeves. His amber eyes were caustic. "He looks a breath away from death."

Qhin raised a feeble, withered index finger. "Stop bickering. Dumuzi is slated to succeed me after I die. Will you address him in that manner then?"

Emmoth did not respond.

"I thought not."

My left fist clenched around the tiny metallic trinket in my palm.

"Does anyone have anything to say before we get to the hearts of the matter?" Qhin enquired. The two elders on either side of him became more animated, taking in the presence of each Enuki, coming to a stop at me. They more than likely saw my expression and thought I was a breath away from losing my composure.

They wouldn't be wrong.

"I do," Emmoth said.

Qhin cautioned me with a finger before I could express my disapproval. He motioned with his hands for him to stand. "Speak your thoughts."

Emmoth rose to his feet, his body displaying an air of determination. He clutched a small stack of documents in his hands. I already knew of their contents, and they enraged me.

With one hand, he fixed his spotless shirt again. With the other, he waved the documents. "It is obvious that this is a grave situation. I have a feeling the majority of council members in this room are afraid to voice what I have to say. However, I shall say it."

When we said nothing, he continued.

"Dumuzi," he said, his eyes narrowed. "You have informed her of our past and violated our agreement. She was not to be told that knowledge. This has resulted in conflicts. Conflicts that are unnecessary between the two of you."

"It was important she learned," I stated, unconcerned. "What did you expect me to do? Upon finding out that she was my Sohme, it was part of this council's plan for Pearl and me to grow close, was it not? Close enough that I could not separate myself from her. You all got what you wished, so do not begrudge me this. Look at the context of the situation before you look into why."

"Context? There is no room for context. By now, I expected you to have mated her. She has accepted you and wishes to remain on the planet. We all expected you to. What is the reason for the delay? Couldn't you just state you're days away from death? It seems even less. You let your emotions and guilt sabotage this experiment."

I knew being with Pearl was an experiment for our kind, but having it said only angered me more. "Experiment?"

It had grown into something much more.

"But it is also you which I worry about. What happens if this human loses interest in you? This is common among their species. We save you today, only to have you die tomorrow. They do not mate for life as we do. We need to discuss what would happen if this scenario arises. I request a hearing for this in five Earth years."

Qhin spoke in a firm, authoritative tone, "Hearing granted."

Regardless of my feelings, and the way my blood heated to a near boil under my skin, he was correct. We required one mate and one mate only. It was impossible for me to stray to another. If she were to grow bored and leave, my biology would recognize this and my hearts would stop beating.

This did not matter much to me.

I was too preoccupied with the here and now. Something about the way he spoke about her—as if she were not a soul-bearing being, but something less—made my teeth grit. The popping of my digits as I fisted them elicited a response from everyone–eyes narrowed and shoulders squared.

I clenched my fingers around the trinket. It grew longer, transforming into a substantial rod of steel in my grasp. Shadrach pulled away from me, fearful of being wounded by the sharp tip buzzing with electricity.

My brother was a smart Enuki. It was my spear that ended thousands of lives during times of war when duty called me to protect.

Emmoth paused for a moment, toying with the paperwork in his hand—every touch, every sexual desire, every feeling I ever felt for Pearl was recorded there. How often I pleasured myself. How often she thought of me.

Yet he didn't notice my spear speeding through the air toward him.

It pierced the stack of papers, propelling it into the air to embed itself in the far corner of the room. The spear tip dug into the painted face of an ancient Enuki, right in its eye.

An ironic way to convey my message.

"Dumuzi!" Qhin roared. He stood as the other men looked at me with astonishment. "Violence will not be tolerated in this sacred place. Gather yourself!"

"There will be no further records. Whatever transpires between her and I remains between us." I met the gaze of each Enuki, daring them to object. I appraised Emmoth. "Fuck with me, I implore you. Next time, the spear will not be thrown. I will send each one of you back to Nibiru with them lodged somewhere dark and inconvenient."

Shadrach put a firm hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.

"Listen to your vulgarity." Emmoth gazed at the spear for a moment before glaring at me. "You were the most brilliant of us all. What became of you? I never imagined you were capable of harm. Perhaps this human is poisoning you."

"This is to be expected," Qhin remarked as he sat. He raised his hand to his brow, his rings glistening in the pink sunlight. His aged face was worn. "Dumuzi is bonding with a human. We have now discovered what occurs if we deprive ourselves of a fated mate and place ourselves before one. Dumuzi's former self will emerge in due course. Until then, curb your tongue."

"I do not want all of your sympathies." I fixed the cuffs on my shirt, wishing I had another spear. "Even if you were able to give me them."

"It is empathy you need, not sympathy. I find it strange how you are all appalled at his behavior, yet you would be quick to be in his place. The human intrigues us all, no? With the exception of Degnath."

My spear zapped, scorching the eye on the painting. Degnath didn't move or acknowledge the spear being thrown like the others. He appeared to have somewhere else to be, his eyes eagerly fixed on the door.

"How may we assist you, Dumuzi? How can we make this process more convenient for you? Although I concur with Emmoth to an extent—you must claim her. Soon. Set aside your feelings."

"I need another meeting such as this." I sat down, folding my hands in front of me, keeping my gaze level with Qhin. I knew the answer before I asked, but I promised to try.

"Whatever for?"

"For Earth and our decision to destroy it. Both humans would naturally be a part of deciding this. They want a say, and this is important if I am to become a bonded pair with my Sohme."

Some chuckled under their breath. Some said nothing, as expected. I remained calm in composure.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?"

Everyone's attention was drawn to the suddenly interested and sour Enuki, who usually remained silent throughout these discussions. Degnath. His eyes were wide, filled with disdain. Three long scars marred his face, only adding to his menacing demeanor. Scars earned during our most recent battle protecting our people... in which we failed.

"That prospect is likely," I responded. "I imagine you have a choice of words for me, friend. Not that I care much for them. Are they not always filled with shit and ire?"

"If you asked me, I'd say your mood is intriguing and something I'd like to investigate. Perhaps even to weaponize for our defenses. However, if you believe the thing you intend to mount and rut like a wild animal is worth entering this hallowed place, you have gone insane. It's almost comical."

I became motionless. Insults directed at Pearl would not be well received by me. If he continued further, I would rightfully put him in his place.

"There is no need to be so vile," Qhin snapped. "Naturally, the decision to destroy their planet has already been made, and the destruction of their world is to be completed within sixteen days. This is not a decision for humans to make. Not anymore. Dumuzi, you are aware of our position on this. You amaze me with your dedication to her by asking."

Of course, they wouldn't entertain the notion. Regardless, this upset me, because it would inevitably hurt Pearl. Whatever hurt Pearl was not in my good graces.

My disappointment manifested as a metallic taste in my mouth. Along with disappointment was an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. Perhaps I did not deserve her if I could not provide her with what she desired.

Will I ever be worthy of her?

"When did you develop an interest in this palace?" I scowled at Degnath. "You may be indifferent to our species, and you may be unconcerned about your death. Strength and power are the only things that matter to you. Pearl is to be my other half, and I outrank you in this council, as well as being able to match your strength in battle. Where is your respect for your superiors?"

"Pearl? Shocking. I did not think it had a name."

My ears rang, and my clenched teeth released a quivering breath. The muscles in my body strained in preparation to spring. Using his scent as a target point, I focused my attention on him.

Shouts did little as I sprinted for Degnath, leaping over tables and hurling paperwork, technologies, and glasses of liquid to the ground. As arms reached to restrain me, he smirked. There was nothing he enjoyed more than a good fight, and he was eager to engage in one.

Convenient for him, because so was I, and I craved blood.