PEARL

"Alright," I said, just as the medication hit me like a ton of bricks. My voice sounded sad. "I think I need to go to bed. Can you return tomorrow so we can talk more?"

Please say yes.

"Of course."

Relief filled me.

My legs were unsteady, so I wasn't sure how I would get into bed. Luckily, I didn't have to worry about that for long.

He moved and placed his hands on my elbows for support, helping me traverse the dim hallway as I tried not to trip over my feet. With his strong hands on my elbows and the warmth of his body so close behind me, I thought about what he said.

The more I resist  Osa, the more my mind and body will fracture until I am no more.

I didn't want him to die, even though I just met him. I planted my feet when we got to the threshold of my room.

"Dumuzi?" I asked, my voice small.

"Yes?"

"How long do you have left to live? Do you think you can figure a way out of this before then?"

Dead silence.

It was almost as if he didn't want to tell me. I stood my ground, though, letting the silence drag on. Just when I was about to give up, he spoke, his voice barely audible.

"A few weeks, perhaps."

"Weeks?" I squeaked.

"Death is a natural part of life. I have many accomplishments that look after my name. I have a brother that will take my seat on the council. You will be taught by me until I cannot anymore; then, somebody else will take my place. I will ensure you will not be alone. Why is this an issue?"

"Why is that an—"

I couldn't even finish my sentence.

How could he just stand there and talk about his death like that? So... cold. Like it didn't even matter; a haircut, paying a bill. I shook my head, reeling, as a new question bubbled to the surface of my lips.

"I know I'm high and all, so tell me if you don't want to answer my next question. I was just wondering..."

I closed my eyes hard, biting my tongue. Despite the weird way the medication made me feel, I swallowed back my shyness and self-doubt. I was so confident and carefree before. Not so much now. "Do you find me attractive? I am just asking, because of what you said. The whole-soul mate thing."

"In which way?"

"In any way," I said quickly, opening my eyes to stare at the doorframe. "But, you know, to start, how about physically?"

Something that sounded like a sigh came from behind me. I wasn't sure why I was asking him this. What was the point? He would just tell me no; I was human, and he had to hold back vomit when he was around me. That Osa was torturing him for no good reason.

When he didn't respond, I continued. "A soul mate implies a romantic bond. Is that even possible for you? Considering the fact that I don't look like your kind. I find you attractive. I just, I don't even know how you guys would, you know....do something about that attraction. Because you aren't human," I rambled. "What happens if you don't find an answer on how to stop it? You said it was trying to bond you to me. What happens if it does?"

"First, I would have to take the steps necessary for it to do so. What do you think that would be?"

Oh, crap. How could he turn that question around me like that? "I don't know. Sex?"

It was the first thing that came to mind. Come to think of it, it was probably a very stupid answer. His alien way of getting it on could have been entirely different, and maybe his kind didn't even procreate. He wasn't human, and I was putting my human desires onto him without even thinking.

Idiot!

He was still. I immediately took that as an offensive answer. "That was dumb. I'm sorry—"

"Your emotional reaction to silence is irritating. In general, your emotions, and how they tend to rub off on me, are irritating. Come closer to me."

He took a step forward at the same time I stepped back, attempting to obey him. Something hard and large prodded my back—

And I thought I was going to fucking die.

"Oh," I puffed.

Heat gathered at my spine, swirling in my stomach, warming my inner thighs. He wrapped his arm around me, pressing me into him, making me feel it. He twisted his other hand into my hair, pulling slightly, making me tilt my head back.

His eyes were like purple flames and I shivered. "I believe this answers your questions. Your genetics come from us, correct?"

Oh my god. "Uh, yes? Dumuzi—"

"Does this come as a surprise to you?" His fingers massaged my temple, and my eyes almost rolled back and slipped shut. I moaned. "Listen to your response to me. It is lovely and makes me want to do things to you, Pearl. Don't think for a second I haven't been watching your dreams. Even tonight."

My entire body was on fire. Sweat trickled down the side of my neck. I couldn't give him a proper response, so all I did was grunt and wrap my arms around his that were snared around my midsection.

"Dumuzi... shit."

"Indeed. Do you feel exactly what you cause me to feel? We would be bonded for eternity together the moment I took you. I would never leave your side. But that is not the only option. There might be a way to stop this."

I melted into him like putty. "And if I don't want you to?"

"A situation that needs to be talked about when you are not intoxicated."

If I wasn't high, the thing pressing into my back would have terrified me at its size. It most certainly was not of human proportions. Why wasn't I stepping away, though? What was wrong with me? I was practically purring like a happy kitten, leaning into him, wanting him to touch me more.

A breakthrough moment happened, like a small snap of a rubber band in my head, releasing all of my reservations.

And suddenly, I wasn't afraid of it.

I was curious. Of course I was. I wouldn't be me if I wasn't.

I had a few tumbles in the hay with girls in my college years, but that's as far as my experience went. Just sex. They were always one-night stands in which they tiptoed down the hall, holding their expensive heels, returning to their dormitories in the walk of shame. They promptly acted like I never existed.

It wasn't because I felt like I was bad in bed; I was just, as Flynn said, too much for a more serious relationship.

I'd never... I'd never even kissed a guy. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Do you wish to?"

"Y-yes!" I said too quickly.

He let me go. I stepped away from him, supporting myself on the doorframe, stunned.

"I will help you to bed," he said, putting his hands back on my elbows when I didn't move or say anything. "Another human is coming here tomorrow to meet you. I thought it best for you to find a friend outside of my kind."

"Another human?"

He led me to my bed and shut off the light on the nightstand. I hopped in. Blankets enveloped me with their fluffiness. My heartbeat galloped like a drum in my ears, yet my eyes were heavy with exhaustion.

"Her name is François."

Another human. My thoughts were so crazy that it was hard to imagine going to sleep. I wonder what she's like.

My voice trembled. "That's... that's amazing. I think I still want you around, though."

I heard a chuckle in the darkness. It made my skin pebble and my stomach flutter.

It was hard to concentrate on this new information because I was currently... having a moment. My nipples were pebbled and I was practically melting underneath my T-shirt. I had never felt like this before, so aware of my body.

So aware of somebody else's.

If I weren't so preoccupied, I would have asked him a million questions about this new person. A million questions about what the hell just happened between us in the hallway.

All I could do was wrap my arms around myself, staring blankly into the dark.

For the first time in my life, I was rendered almost speechless, when I usually could go on and on. That was why I was damn good as an investigative journalist. I was animated. Hungry for knowledge. Able to dissect points and break down evidence, delivering them in a verbal way that left my audience wanting more.

And yet...

Dumuzi was my kryptonite, the duct tape over my mouth, the lump of shyness in my throat.

I closed my eyes, thinking about the fact that yes, he found me attractive in a sexual way. Why is that sort of scary? Why does that make me want to do something about it? Why can't we just let the bond happen?

I sighed.

Because you will never be good enough, my inner voice responded.

My eyes slipped shut. I didn't even know I was crying until I felt tears skim my cheeks. "Let me know if you find any answers to your predicament. Goodnight, Dumuzi."