Periods
Yeah, I'm going there too. If you have a sensitive stomach, go home. But yeah, I'm gonna make a list to show the world why the menstrual cycle sucks balls.
1. The process
We get 11-15 years to enjoy life as carefree as we want. We learn about the period, and some of us even get excited about it. We think the period ushers in some kind of wisdom and womanly awesomeness and shit. Instead, we started bleeding incessantly from our crotches for days.
2. The blood
There's too damn much of it.
3. The supplies
Gee, I get the choice of a big ass stick on mini diaper or a cloth on string that has to be inserted with a plastic dildo-like applicator that hurts like a bitch. Oh, and you have to run and change your tampon every four hours, or else you'll get some disease and die. Yeah, that'll be convenient at school, where you pretty only get to go to the bathroom maybe three times all year.
4. The feeling
Well, it feels like a nasty solid-liquid combo is flowing uncontrollably out of me, while my back, nonexistant abs, neck, and boobs all feel like they've been hit with a frying pan five times.
5. Can't masturbate
See previous chapter
6. You don't want to move
Seriously, every movement you make leads to more blood. Oh, and yet we're still supposed to function in society like nothing's wrong when everything's wrong.
7. The solutions
Oh let's see.... I can get pregnant and go through nine months of a different kind of hell, or stop having periods by starving myself. Oh, or I be medically made infertile, so I can't make any kids in the future. I want kids, so all of these options suck balls.
Oh, but what about birth control, you say? I'm on birth control. All that does is make your periods regular, and deceivingly lighter the first two days. There really isn't shit we can do. Great job, Biology/God.
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