~~~joels pov~~~

Something was most definitely up with Harley.

What it was? Not sure yet, but I know that if anything, I'd find out.

I had too, before I..

...

Before he left.

Yeah, even if we weren't on good terms and probably wouldn't ever be again. I still cared about him.. I suppose..

Ugh, I hated that he's still got me worked up.

Still, I wanted to make things right.

We had just left diner and started to walk through the mostly empty streets. Even though the air around us was silent I took a slight glance towards him.

His face was focused forward, humming softly to himself with a slight smile.

He looked so unbothered. I guess he always was unbothered with every little thing I guess.

I guess that could rub some people the wrong way and be kind of upsetting since you never know what would ever get under his skin but I never found it upsetting.

I guess I got used to it and it got easier to tell what actually did bother him. Then again he did start to get more comfortable with me.

But that was.. before.

"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?" Harley said suddenly.

"Huh?"

He glanced down at me with a shrug. "You look like there are a million thoughts going through your brain. Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"

"Nothing really, just wondering where we're going."

"The park." Harley answered with a slight yawn.

I frowned. "We probably should have just went back to your house so you could get some rest."

"No time for rest, my prince."

Fair enough.

We continued to walk in silence before we finally entered the park.

There was something.. nostalgic about this park. I wasn't to sure about why it felt that way but I decided not to question it too much.

I turned to Harley as a small smile spread across his face. It was enough to make me smile as well.

We both walked into the park and just walked around looking at the scenery.

"Ya know this is where we first met?"

I narrowed my eyes before raising an eyebrow. "I dunno I think I remember you cursing me out and hating me."

"It was nothing personal, really" Harley said with a shrug. "But I'm pulling your leg, I remember when we first met. It wasn't here."

No matter how hard I racked my brain I literally couldn't remember how we met.

"How did we meet?"

Harley smirked with a shrug. "M'not telling you. You'll have to try harder than that."

I let out a slight chuckle before smiling. He was absolutely impossible on so many levels. But I really didn't mind.

Well, I did mind, but not as much,, I guess it was hard to explain.

"So then, what's new with you?" I asked suddenly.

"Nothing much. You?"

"That's the best answer you could come up with?" I asked with a chuckle.

He shrugged with a small smile. "M'being honest, if anything I expect you having much more going on in your life than me."

At that I laughed. Between me and Harley he was definitely the more outgoing person. And he was definitely far more sociable and charismatic than I was. I saw the way that other people looked at him and wanted to be with him as friends or more.

"That's a bold face lie. Both you and I know you have much more going on in your life" I replied voicing my thoughts out loud.

"Then I hate to disappoint but my life is incredibly boring." Harley remarked with a shrug.

We stayed silent as we continued walking around before Harley got preoccupied with a swing set. He fell into it and honestly he looked quite silly yet still content.

I followed after him and sat on the swing beside him.

"Ya know, Joel, I've been thinking."

"You've been thinking?"

"Yeah."

"About what, if I can ask?"

Harley slightly swung back and forth before turning towards me.

He swallowed hard as we stared at each other. He slightly leaned forward and all I could think was.. crap. But he still stopped a respectful distance away.

Then he suddenly stuck his tongue out at me.

"Tsk, it's nothing"

I let out a puff of breath before turning away from him, slightly leaning back yet still holding on tightly to the swing.

"Harls."

"What?"

"Where are you going after this? Like.. if you're leaving town where are you going?"

Harley sucked in a bit of breath before he looked up at the sky.

"I dunno yet. Guess I'll figure it out soon enough."

"You sound really unprepared." I remarked softly.

"I'm always unprepared. Name one time I've ever come prepared."

I chuckled. He wasn't wrong there, I never really could think about when he ever came prepared.

"Well, even if you never come prepared, you still come. Besides, it's the thought that counts."

Harley stared at me before turning away. He let out a long sigh as we sat in silence for a bit. After a while he turned to me. His eyes and his expression finally serious.

"I'm sorry."

Huh?

"M'sorry, I was a real fucking dick to you while we broke up and honestly? I was a dick to you when we met. I honestly don't know why you ever went out with me. But um.. I'm sorry."

That was a first. I looked away and took a deep breath.

"You were a dick."

"Yeah."

"But, I don't think I'm ready to forgive you."

"That's alright. I'm not asking for forgiveness, nor am I asking for friendship. I just want you to know that.. I am sorry. For everything." Harley said as he turned towards me. His face was no longer so serious. It had a small smile and his eyes had their normal glint to them.

"I wish we could just start over some times." I whispered, mostly to myself but I knew Harley could hear me by the way he turned away.

"Yeah, me too." He whispered back.

Crap.

Why was I continuing to try and push myself to have something with Harley?

Romantic or not.

I wanted him to be in my life. The way his snarky comments and his mischievous nature and his stupid actions and his stupid self made me feel like I did want to be friends with him.

I wanted to do stupid things with him.

I wanted..

...

No, that's not fair. That's not fair to either him nor me.

He had to have someone else by now and besides. It wasn't like I would be able to keep him around for long. Harley went and left as he pleased. Never one to stay in one place for too long.

I couldn't make him stay.

Besides, there wasn't enough time. Not for him or me. Even if I wanted all the time in the world I knew I wasn't going to get it.

It sucked.

But it was the way things were always.

"So why can't we?"

Harley seemed slightly taken aback by my sudden words.

And honestly? So was I. I didn't mean to say them but I already saw the gears turning in Harley's head.

"No offense but I don't think we can just start over." Harley said back, yet he was intently staring at me. I stared back noticing that even though he always tried to keep his hair in his face, I could still see both of his eyes.

Green and grey.

"You're right, but we can pick up where we left off."

Harley stared at me for even longer before giving me a slight smirk.

"Let's just see how the day goes, then we can think about the.. future.." I noticed his face automatically darken when he mentioned the future but it flickered away as he pulled up a weak smile.

I could only imagine how my expression mirrored his.

I was definitely afraid of letting Harley in my life again. I was definitely afraid of him leaving my life again. And more so.

I was afraid of leaving his.

♡♡♡
Yuuhh i love late night uploadz
Anyway I'm going to bed it just hit 12 am 😭😭
Also yes Harley and Joel are indecisive mferz-