~~~Joel’s P.O.V~~~

Warning
Things get kinda serious in this chapter so um- ye-

It’s been about a week since Harley and I went stargazing. But, I felt that there was something still wrong. There was just something still bugging me..

I sat in concentration trying to read, but I couldn’t focus. Every Time I was just about to drift into the words, my eyes would flash onto my arm..

‘My prince.. I love you..”

I kept staring at the words.. The last words that Harley would ever say to me… Supposedly.

I didn’t want that to ever happen.. I never want it to happen.. I sighed a bit before turning towards the bedroom. Harley said his head ached and that he was going to take a nap.

There was just something that was uneasy about everything. He just seemed to get tired more easily. I never told him, but I noticed that he started to get thinner, even though he seemed to eat well..

It wasn’t just that though.. The bags under his eyes grew, he looked exhausted, like he barely got any sleep, but now he started waking up before me, going to sleep before me.. 

It just… seemed like too much of a shift in his behavior…

I sighed a bit, before walking to our bedroom, pushing the door open a bit.

“Harls..?”

I noticed him shift around in bed a bit.

I knew he heard me..

“Harley..?” I whispered softly in the darkness, making my way to the bed and laying down beside him.

“... what..?”

“What’s wrong…”

“Who said anything was wrong..”

“Harley, i’m not an idiot..”

“Never said you were..” He responded again, his back still facing me. I usually didn’t push him, I never wanted us to lose our temper. But this was different. He looked to be in physical pain… I can’t… I… 

“Harley, I’m being serious. Please tell me what’s wrong..”

“I told you nothing was wrong.”

“Harley, you’ve been acting weird this entire month! You look so exhausted everyday, you’re getting thinner and thinner everyday, you're getting weaker! You seem like you shrink everyday! I’m not buying that, it's nothing!”

I shrunk back as soon as he sat up, he looked upset… but I was mistaken.. There wasn’t a trace of anger.. There was so much sadness, tears threatening to leak out of his eyes at any given second. 

“I can’t tell you, Joel..”

“Harley.. Please..”

“You’re going to hate me… you’re going to hate me and leave me..” He sobbed out before covering his mouth. As soon as the words escaped I could tell.. This was more than anything.. This was something that brought him physical anguish.

He kept coughing out sobs, covering his mouth, trying to calm down. 

“Harls..” I gently climbed next to him, wrapping my arms around his torso, rubbing circles into his back.

“Calm down.. Harley.. Please..”

“... I - I -...”

“Shhhh…”

His loud sobs were the only thing to fill the empty void in the room, his shoulders dropped as his sobs lowered, and became sniffles.

“You’ll hate me.. I can’t tell you… I swore that-”

“Nothing that you can do would ever make me hate you..” I cut him off, as his grey eyes stared into my brown eyes.

They carried so many things, the tears balancing, before a couple slipped down his face.

“I have FFI…”

(Authors Note:
Before you ask, FFI is Fatal Familial Insomnia. It’s a brain disorder that is characterized by an inability to sleep. It’s usually genetic, and generally gets worse as time goes on. It’s a disease that as far as I have researched deals with normal insomnia before it gets worse, with hallucinations and a couple of other depressing things. The life expectancy rate is 7 months to 3 years, but you can live longer. It's like insomnia but it worsens as the patient can’t get enough sleep.
Sorry, I’ve been researching the disease for this moment, so big rip, but that’s the thing that Harley is talking about, i’ll mostly just refer it it as FFI, but I will only call it by it’s full name at times, so ye-
ALSO, Take everything with a grain of salt, I’m not an expert at this kinda stuff, so please take everything I say at an arm's length, back to Jarley-) 

“What..”

“Fatal Familial Insomnia..” Harley mumbled out.

“B-But you’ll get better, r-right..??”

Harley stared at the bed, slightly tracing shapes into the bedsheets.

“Harley..”

He shook his head.

I felt my shoulders tense up, lowering my head, shaking a bit.

“W-When.. H-How…”

“I found out a few weeks ago.. You were at work.. I skipped out after I threw up. I thought maybe I was just sick.. But I hadn’t been sleeping well for days on end.. I asked Vi to take me to the hospital.. And they took some tests.. Apparently some gene in my damn body isn’t working.. And-... after some more blood tests… they determined that.. I had FFI…”

I stared at him.. So many things started to click..

His weakness, the bags under his eyes, his progressiveness to wake up earlier than me and sleep earlier than me…

It was right in front of me. 

It was all right there.

I ran my hands through my hair.

“I-If I just paid more attention.. I- I-..”

“No.. baby.. No..” He mumbled, gently grabbing my face, his expression serious, though I could see the tears in his eyes. “No.. this isn’t your fault..”

“This isn’t your fault.. It’s not..”

“I-...”

“Listen to me.. It’s okay.. It’s not your fault..”

I leaned into his touch. His hands were warm and steady. He looked at me with brightness in his eyes that didn’t leave once.

“I don’t want to lose you…”

He stayed silent for a bit, running a hand down my cheek. His lip trembled before he swallowed hard.

“You aren’t going to lose me… I-... I don’t want to die..”

“I-”

“Listen.. Joel.. as long as I take every drop of medication for this.. I may have a shot.. As long as I try to beat this.. I can.. Nothing.. Nothing is taking me away from you.”
I fell into his arms, tightly gripping him. 

“Please don’t go, don’t-”

“Shhhh!” Harley cut me off, smacking me on the arm.

My eyes widened in realization of what I was about to say. “I’m sorry- I didn’t-”

Harley tightly hugged me, his chin resting on my head, rubbing my arms up and down. “I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving until it’s time to go. I’m not leaving until you tell me to.”

“I never want you to leave..”

“That’s why I’m never going to die.. I at least plan on living till i’m at least 130 years old.” He teased gently poking my sides.

I giggled softly before we laid down, he combed his hands through my hair, brushing my bangs away.

“Harley?”

“Hm?”

“What’s FFI…?”

His hand stiffened up. He stared past me, seeming to try and find the words. “Well… it’s.. Like a brain disorder.. With a lovely little cherry of insomnia on top.”

“... Is that why you always look so tired.”

In the slightest movement, I almost missed it but he nodded.

“I think it’s safe to say that sleeping doesn’t come as easily to me as you..”

“That’s why you always look so tired..”

“Yeah..”

We both stayed silent, letting the silence wrap both of us up. Harley went still, if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought he was asleep, but he was staring past me, towards the window. 

~~~

I yawned softly, raising my head from Harley’s chest. 
“Good morning..?”

“No, it’s actually good night.” He said instead, gently kissing my head.

“How long have I-”

“About an hour.”

“Sorry, for falling asleep..” I said, as I rolled off, laying beside him.

“Don’t apologize,” He let out a humorless laugh, turning towards me. “I kinda envy you, y’know..? I wish I could sleep like that..”

“O-Oh my god, Harley, I-I didn’t mean to fall… I'm insensitive.. I-”

“Hey, calm down. It’s not that big of a deal. For as stupid as not sleeping is.. I wouldn't give it to anyone else..”

We both stayed silent after those words. He was staring outside, a lovely view of the night sky was visible as rain softly poured down. It almost sounded like music the way the drops would splash on the windows. 

“Can we go outside..?”

“What?”

“I want to stand in the rain.. I want to be with you under the night sky..”

I felt my cheeks redden before I nodded my head. He smiled brightly helping me up and draping a blanket over my shoulders. He took my hand as we walked outside. As soon as we got out, we saw the wall of water that fell. I noticed Harley’s face. His eyes were tired, but his smile.. His smile was radiant.. He was beaming..

We both walked in the rain, both of us gasping at how we immediately got drenched. We stared at each other before we both burst out laughing. He gently grabbed my hand, before wrapping an arm around my waist. I smiled before resting my head against his chest, as we both swayed slowly to the sound of the rain hitting the ground.

He stared at the night sky. His smile was wider.

“Some infinities are bigger than others..”

“What..?”

“The set of numbers between 0 and 1 is infinite, but it’s the same as 1 and 2. There's 0.1, there’s 0.01. There’s a million different numbers, each having an infinite meaning.. I just hope I get to have a million different days, and a million different meanings with you..” He said softly, turning towards me.

“You will, I promise..”

His smile was a little sadder, before we continued to dance, our gaze staring towards the beautiful sky that wasn’t covered by the clouds.

“Thank you for taking me out to see the rain..” He said.

“You ask for such simple things..” I responded.

“Want me to ask for more complex things?”

“That depends on what it is.”

“I want the galaxy.” He said. I thought he was joking but I looked at his face, serious as he spun me around.

“Why the galaxy?”

He turned to me with a smile. “That’s something that’s best saved for later. But if you ever find it on sale, remember your soulmate wants it.”

I laughed before nodding. “Okay, next time I go to the store, I’ll look for it.”

“I couldn’t ask for anything more..” He took a deep shaky breath, before wrapping an arm around me. “C’mon.. It’s late, you should get to bed..” 

We both leaned towards each other and walked back into the apartment, without caring much we both left a small trail of water leading back to our bedroom. 

After we both changed and dried off, we layed back down on the bed. I snuggled against Harley’s chest as he automatically wrapped an arm around me. I was happy to see the rain wasn’t stopping yet.. I didn’t want to fall asleep though.. Even if Harley was protecting me..

I just wished I could have protected him when he found out..

🌌🌌🌌

This chapter made me tear up, then the ending made me happy-
Honestly this could warrant a whole god forsaken book-
But I’m lazy, so it’s a one shot instead uwu