News headlines for today:
♥ Happy Water-bottle eats watermelon with cheese; disrupts food group.

A happy Waterbottle decides to eat watermelon with cheese, which is very inauspicious for the food groups.

"I had no idea!" Says the Waterbottle.

Scientists are not sure if the Waterbottle was truly happy or not.

That's all for now, folks!
See you soon, at Lé Nèws!