OK, so amazon! Everyone loves amazon! Our rescuer! Yay! ONline shopping! Woohoo! So I'm pumped up. OK, my books are being delivered! I'm happy, excited blah blah. And then the doorbell rings. 

I'm like YESS! This is the moment which we've all been waiting for!!! OMG ! I open the door and the delivery dude is just like standing there with my shipment. I'm all like MA BABIES!! MA BOOKITAS!! OMG YISS! And he's just clutching it. I'm holding out my hand like, give it to me! Its mineee! And he's just looking at me, like Where's your mom? Wheres your dad?? 

Excuse ME! THIS IS MY SHIPMENT, SO HAND IT OVER OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!!! 

But I can't actually say that. It'll hurt their feelings! Aww!They'll feel baddy! Thats not goody! 

Then my grandparents/Parents wade over.  They say "How much is it for?" 

The guy starts sweating. He takes out his little phone thingy and starts scanning the box. I'm reading the sticker things and just searching for the price. We're all lost. Then my dad (if he's there) whips out his phone and opens the app. We're all fiddling with something. 

After a few years or something, the app loads and he tells us the price. We pay. The delivery dude goes away.

Now, I snatch the shipment, run to get the scissors. Now, comes tough part numero 2. I dont know how, where, when, why, what to open it. I'm just wreathing havoc on the box, tearing it apart like Dudley Dursley on his birthday.

Aaand finally when it opens, the book is covered with more stuff!! LIKE WHATTTTT??? Aannd the only way it'll open is :

1. Scream at it

2. Cut it

3. Pet it

4. Give it a pep talk

5. Give yourself a pep talk

6. Give the scissors a pep talk

7. Give the delivery man a pep talk

8. Slip into depression

9. Find your soulmate

10. "Have ten kids and teach them how to dreammmmm"

11. Give it to your grandmother

12. Take it back

13. Open it

Voila!

And then you see a beautiful bookmark. You tear up, its so nice of them to give it to you. You forgive everything else about them. Then you flip it over and BAM! Amazon. So throw it to the ground, stomp on it and go and cry.

Hope you liked the Amazon Experience!!