Trigger Warning: Mocking, sadness, could be triggering

~

You shouldn't be so afraid,

It's unbecoming of you. It leaves

You vulnerable to their attacks –

To my attacks. You're afraid of crying?

That they won't understand,

That they'll use me and not calmly

Discuss your emotions? How pathetic!

Crying is a weakness, and oh, it's such

A delicious way to poke and prod you.

I feed off your nervousness, your hesitance,

Your fear of failing,

Your fear of being a disappointment...

You try so hard, but one mistake is all it takes

for that delicious taste of shame, guilt,

and self-depreciation to take over

your weak mind.

In everything you do, I am there lurking

In the darkest parts of your mind,

Disabling you, taunting you,

Caging you in a storm of nauseous emotions.

I'm there when you look in the mirror,

And you're disgusted by what you see.

I'm there when a tiny mistake

Put everything in disarray, I'm there

When you think the blame is yours

And all the anger is directed at you.

I'm there when you are at your worst,

Because that's when I'm at my best.

You're condemned by Silence

And I am the judge and jury of your decisions.

I bleed the unpleasant thoughts, the "safer" options

To "protect" you from the very thing I am:

Judgment.

I am one of your biggest fears,

One of your strongest captors.

You stand no chance against me,

You'll lose this war to Self-Hate

Forevermore.