Chapter Sixteen: "Is It Pheromones?"

JAIME AND I were sitting at the food court of the local mall on Friday night. She worked at one of the retail stores part-time and had just finished her shift. I had been in the area after a very last-minute lash appointment. 

Currently, she was eyeing my lashes to the extreme. My chin was grasped by her hand as she analyzed me from above, below, and from the side before saying: "They look good."

"Right?" I agreed, the two of us pulling back. Luckily, they weren't long enough to interfere with my matches for the rest of the month and they were a long time coming. I needed some kind of reward after pulling an all-nighter for the midterm I had taken a few days ago. 

My phone beeped with a message as I waited for Jaime to get some food. These messages had been coming in before, during, and after my lash appointment.

Nikko: Rhett came over.

Nikko: He's saying something about wanting to watch some game with Mars but I think he wants alone time with me. 

Me: He'll kill you.

Nikko: He loves me, he can't kill me.

Me: He threatens you every day.

I wasn't joking. 

Nikko: Exactly. That's how he shows his love.

I snorted. What I told him last Sunday hadn't been brought up throughout the week. I didn't expect it considering how often I saw him throughout the week as well.  Although that conversation didn't resurface, I did think our relationship changed. 

I didn't think too much about it the more we spoke. And we spoke more than I figured was already possible. I was pulling an all-nighter for my midterm on Tuesday and he had been doing the same for one of his, somehow we had ended up texting for the majority of the time. And the day after. And after. And today. 

Jaime returned with a plate of poutine and an extra fork in my direction. I grinned at her, taking it as another message came into my phone from Nikko. 

There was a party. At his house. He said to swing by around 11 when people would mostly be there and to bring whoever I wanted. 

A sense of dread mixed with hope came over me but my response was already out before I realized what I had written and sent. 

Me: I'm super busy tonight. I can't. Sorry.

Nikko: Oh shit, that's okay. I'll see you tomorrow at practice, though?

I sent him a thumbs up as Jaime's phone chimed in with a text message. She read it over while eating a fry. "Iman's saying there's a party tonight."

When showed me her phone and the address was exactly whose I expected. Same party. I must have been unable to hide my expression because she narrowed her eyes at me. "What?"

I attempted to show her my screen but she already lifted from her seat, leaning halfway over the table to practically press her forehead against my own as she started to read my screen upside down.

She met my eyes. "Oh, we're going."

"Jay."

"We're going." She demanded. "We haven't gone out in forever and I want a night out with you. I've video chatted with Mari this week and it was only a few minutes. Yas and I have been procrastinating with a show almost every night. Meanwhile, you've been busy with squash and everything that comes with it and your assignments meaning that you've been caught up in the library or your room. This was the first day we could actually talk in a while since Reads, so excuse me if I want to spend more time with you."

I blinked. Shit. 

This would give me an opportunity to do what I had been holding off on asking, whether or not Nikko was seeing someone. Which was initially why I said no to the party in the first place. Alcohol and I were not a good mix when it came to him considering that phone call the summer before third year.  If Mari had figured out what that hair tie typically wrapped around his wrist meant, that would've been convenient, but med school caused her to barely have a break to herself for her usual research shenanigans. Maybe liquid courage was what I really needed after all.

But besides him... I glanced up at my friend. A night out with Jaime was always guaranteed to be a good one even if nothing went according to plan. With the slight hope in her expression, there was no way I was going to say no now. "Okay."

"Yay!" She squealed, "I'll message Cori if she wants to come. I'd ask Clayton but he's at some business event. Text your friends!"

I think Jaime forgot that I didn't have many friends outside of her. Iman was already coming. Yasmeen didn't typically surround herself in an environment of alcohol and besides, she was already out of the house tonight being her social self at a school club event. Mariam was in Toronto.

Jaime. Iman. Yasmeen. Mariam.

Who else?

My phone went through my contacts and before I knew it, I was hovering over a name. Liya. Kind, megawatt blinding smile of a girl, Liya.

I texted her.

About three hours later, a group of people were lingering in our living room, music playing as a pile of alcohol in the center. I was already tipsy as I made my way towards the door. When I opened it, a cautious Liya stood on the other side.

I let out a low whistle. She was wearing a long sleeve but the cleavage she was sporting along with her midriff made for an excellent outfit I wanted to steal alongside the skinny black jeans. Her hair was slightly curled and her a chain of silver pendants dangled down her neck. "You look hot."

Liya's eyes went wide, "You're drunk."

No. A little bit. "Tipsy."

"You're drunk." She repeated. 

"Tipsy," I stressed, pulling her inside. 

"You look really good too." She said and because I was in a very giddy mood, I even did a little twirl in my corset top and jeans. 

Jaime, who was farther gone than I was, bounced over to us. And almost tripped over air in the process. I caught her by the arm before she face-planted. She straightened up as if that didn't happen, sticking her hand out for Liya, "Hi, I'm Jaiyesimi. Or Jay. Or Jaime. Take your pick."

Liya shook her hand but didn't have a chance to speak as Jaime dragged my captain over to the table filled with liquor, handing her a shot as they chatted. I plopped myself on the couch next to Iman after grabbing another cooler. Iman's eyebrow rose at the sight of Liya. "Is that Liya Bhatt?"

"You stalk everyone on my team, don't you?" I asked. 

"She was in my geography class back in second year," Iman said. "Smart girl. Pretty girl."

"Please, don't date her," I muttered. It was nice to know people outside of my main group of friends. But I didn't really want the possibility of Iman dating her to disrupt the dynamic me and Liya had built up over the past few months. I mean, I assumed Liya was my friend based on how much time we spent together. 

Plus, I had the impression based on the way she was currently speaking to Cori, who was showing Liya her new Nikes while pouring her a drink, that she might not be interested in Iman.

"What's wrong with me?"

I took a sip of the mixed drink. Whoever decided to mix this concoction of vodka and pineapple was a genius. "Everything."

Iman knocked the side of my head with his knuckles. "How drunk are you getting?"

"As much as Jaime wants."

Yet when I glanced at my friend, she was already making her way in my direction with another cup in her hand. Immediately, the fleeting memories of the country festival years ago brushed through my mind. Jaime had done exactly what she was going to do now: while she drank, she got me to drink more, interact with her more and be more. 

In fact, by the time we had gotten to the party, I was surprised neither of us had reached Clayton level on the night of Homecoming. Once we entered the house, filled with various people littered across the house. I caught wind of familiar faces. Too many in the midst of hot, sweaty bodies. Fleeting smiles were thrown in my direction, not only Iman's tonight as I recognized people from the squash team and from others we shared the gym.

But the one face I wanted actually to see, was nowhere in sight. With Liya's arm hooked on mine and Jaime in front of me arguing with Iman for the hundredth time, I looked around.

No, Nikko.

I came to a party he invited me to, and he wasn't even here?

Before I could voice my annoyance, Liya stilled. I turned to her in question but she raised her chin in a direction and when I realized who it was that caught her eyes, I cursed under my breath. 

Rachel and Ashley were standing in a corner next to a few familiar faces—all of whom I didn't want to see. Rachel and Ashley, however, weren't the worst part of the scene in front of me. It was the man who had entered the group with a large smile, dapping up one of the boys.

Benny.

Ew.

Benny's red hair had grown out more. It wasn't the same as Nikko's, who looked better with it grown out or even with it closely cropped to his scalp. But Benny brushed it back in a way to expose his face. His normally dim green eyes were bright for once. I watched as he headed over to Rachel and Ashley. Ashley beamed at the sight of him, reaching up to likely kiss him but I recognized the irritation on his face. It caused her to hesitate, bringing her hands back down. My eyebrows rose at the action as he went to fist-bump another person.

It seemed they were off again.

Ashley bent her head in Rachel's direction, whispering to her as she brushed off the interaction while keeping a smile on her face. My attention on Ashley didn't last very long. Because someone out there, likely Ashley, hated me, my attention was suddenly caught by green eyes and inwardly, I cringed. 

I fought the urge to make a face. With my arm linked with Liya, I used my other to reach out for Jaime's shoulder as Iman continued chatting with whoever he saw. I grabbed both of them and moved in the opposite direction before doing something I didn't want to do.

Jaime protested behind me while Liya stayed silent as we pushed through the crowd. I led them up the crowded stairs into a hallway where thankfully, there weren't many people. 

"What?" Jaime asked for the hundredth time.

"She saw them," Liya said as I rolled my eyes so hard I could've seen my brain. That entire group caused my lip to curl in annoyance. 

Jay glanced at me. "Who?"

"Rachel. Ashley. All of them," I shivered dramatically. If there was a way to sober up, the sight of them was doing it for me. "Bens." 

"Yuck," Jaime looked like she had eaten something bad. "Do you want to leave? We could hit up Wendy's or go back to our place if you want."

I gave her a smile. Leave it to her to try to find a better solution but no, we said we would have a good time tonight and I believed that we could. Whether the most annoying people I had ever met in my entire life were in the same household as me or not. We were going to ignore them and have a good time. 

But it would have been nice to see Nikko here. He last texted me an hour ago and had yet to respond to my last message, meaning he was either extremely busy with this party or...something else.

I had a feeling it was something else.

"He has to have a girlfriend," I said out loud, not answering Jaime's previous question. Forget them. I'd rather know what was going on with Nikko instead. 

"Who?" Liya asked.

"Nikko." I slid down against the wall, covering my face with my hands. "I have a thing for Nikko."

Liya gasped and when I peeked through my hands, her own were on her cheeks. "Really?"

"She has it bad," Jaime mumbled, leaning against the wall next to me as she pulled out her phone. "She's liked him for almost two years. Maybe more."

"Definitely more," I confessed. The drunken antics were not going to stop me tonight because then I said: "And he's so nice."

Liya blinked, and I took that as the green light to continue. 

"He's so nice," I stressed with my hand out as if she didn't already know how amazing he was as a person. "And his hugs? Have you received a hug from him? A hug from Nikko Zhou is one of the greatest things to ever happen. I have to refrain from jumping into his arms every time I see him because his hugs are that good."

"10/10 on the hug scale?" Jay asked as she typed down on her phone. Based on the sudden smile on her face, I assumed she was texting her boyfriend. 

"A billion," I admitted, setting myself up on my knees. "And to be honest? I think it's also because he smells really really good. Maybe it's pheromones, I don't know. Is it pheromones?" I asked Jaime. "You took bio courses once, no?"

She looked at me as if I asked the dumbest question in the world. "Why would I know?"

"You're in science."

"Not that part of science," She rolled her eyes. "And so are you!"

"I'm not part of that science either!"

"It's probably pheromones," Liya said as she hiccupped. She was in biomedical sciences. Of course, she would know. "You'd probably like the scent of his armpits too."

Jaime and I both swiveled our heads over to her, "Armpits?"

She let out a little giggle, her hand coming to her mouth. "They say it's because you're in love."

The laugh I let out was hysterical. So hysterical Jaime and Liya's eyes comedically rounded at the sight of me, making me laugh some more. And more. To the point where the remaining people in the hallway glanced over before going back to their conversations.  

"She's so in love with him," Jaime muttered, shaking her head. 

"Agreed," Liya said. 

"You found out I liked him two seconds ago!" I exclaimed, my giggles fading.  

"And the more I think about it, it's really obvious," Liya said.

By the time I calmed down, I was on my back, the floor vibrating, my gaze on the ceiling. "He told me to come to his party. I said no, showed up anyways and he's not even here. I have a problem. I keep contradicting myself." 

For instance, I said I was going to avoid Nikko. I didn't. I couldn't anymore even if I tried. He didn't want me to do that anymore and I didn't want to do that to him. 

A long breath left me after all of that, making my shoulders relax. I didn't even pull my attention away from the carpeted floor. But my focus was taken when Jaime had bent to my level, staring at me with kind eyes. "Larine, if the two of you are going to happen, it'll happen."

I hung my head. It could've happened a long time ago. "Knowing my chances, it's not going to happen."

Liya tsked as Jaime's phone started ringing in her hand. "You're so pessimistic."

"Realistic," I corrected as Jay answered the device.

She tapped her screen. "You're on speaker."

Aven's deep voice came through and based on the noise in the background, he was also at a party, club, or bar. "Jay, I can't go out again."

Jaime lightly scoffed and even through my slightly drunken haze, I could see how she seemed to soften when speaking to him. "You say that all the time, Aves."

"Who's Aves?" Liya whispered. 

"Her boyfriend," I answered, "He's in BC. Law school." 

"BC? Damn, that's far," Liya murmured. 

"Where are you?" Aven asked Jaime. 

"In a hallway with Larine and Liya."

"Hi, Larine!" He couldn't see me but I waved. "Hi Liya—I don't know you."

"Captain of the squash team and new friend," I said as Liya sat down next to me. "We're at Nikko's house and Nikko is not here."

"Why haven't you pursued anything with Nikko?" Liya's sudden question was in my direction.

"Because he wears this pink hair tie," I said. I was at a point where I was willing to explain my entire thought process to Liya about everything to do with Nikko when Aven's voice from the speaker of Jay's phone cut me off. 

"Hair tie? Pink? Yikes."

"Right?" I added. 

"A pink hair tie means nothing," Jaime emphasized. "It would mean nothing especially if Larine simply asked him if he was seeing someone."

Liya opened her mouth to speak when suddenly, Cori appeared and I didn't miss the way Liya perked up next to me. With her hair up in an afro and a bright smile against her glowing dark skin, she skipped over to us as she juggled Mcdonald's fries in her hands. That wasn't abnormal. I didn't party that often with Cori but for some reason, she was known to Uber food at a social event. A puzzled expression came across her face. "What the hell is happening?"

"Do you think a man having a pink hair tie on his wrist means he has a girlfriend?" I asked her. 

"No," Cori said and Jaime proceeded to say 'See?' to Aven when Cori continued. "Why are you asking?"

"Because Larine has a crush on Nikko Zhou and thinks he has a girlfriend," Jay said.

"Nikko?" Cori blinked before realization covered her face. To make matters worse, she put her hand over her mouth, her shoulders starting to shake. In the midst of the madness occurring in the house, the vibrating floors, the loud music currently blasting a Gunna song, she was laughing. 

"What?" I asked. 

She handed her fries to Jaime before pulling out her phone. She scrolled a few times before handing the device to me.

Jaime and Liya crowded around me on the floor as we looked at the screen. We stared at the Instagram picture of a pretty girl on the beach wearing a bikini and a white cover-up, smiling at the camera. The girl seemed to be of European and East Asian descent. When my gaze flickered up to the handle, I realized I was looking at someone who shared a similarity to the boy on my mind.

They had different last names but similar smiles.

"Rowan," I said. I'd heard the name once before. "She's one of Nikko's cousins."

"What's the connection of her to the pink hairband?" Jaime asked.

"Rowan used to go to HU before she dropped out to travel and work overseas," Cori let out a breathy laugh. "Uni wasn't for her at all so she left. When she left, she gave the people she loved things that she always used."

Cori reached into her halter top, pulling out a string-beaded necklace that had a ring on it. It looked like the ring was made by someone. It was pretty with blue and white swirls on it. "She gave me this when she left."

The way she said those words with fondness before clearing her throat. "She used to wear that pink hair tie all the time. She loved pink."

Cori's words were confirmed when I looked at Rowan's wrist in the photograph. There it was. The pink hair band. In a picture from almost two years ago. 

I handed Cori her phone back, groaning into my hands. I'm such an idiot. 

"She gave it to Nikko as a joke because he didn't have hair to really tie back at the time," Cori explained. 

She gave it to Nikko. His cousin gave him the hair tie. One of his million cousins. "Oh."

Jaime huffed. "Mariam should have been able to deduce that. Our researching skills are horrible these days."

"Rowan's account is private despite her oversharing personality," Cori mused. "That's probably why Mariam didn't find it. She doesn't even have Facebook because she thinks it's for old people."

Cori glanced down at me. "Last I heard from Rowan and her cousin drama, Nikko doesn't have a girlfriend. He hasn't had a girl around since...I don't know. April?"

The idea of Nikko with someone else, a confirmed someone else, made me frown.

"Ew." I couldn't help but say out loud and Liya giggled next to me. 

"I don't think that relationship was serious," She continued. "I can ask Rowan but she's somewhere in the Netherlands and it's like 5 AM there so she's either dead asleep or partying—"

"I'm good," I said, my stomach rolling. I didn't want to hear about someone else he had been with anymore.

Liya nudged me with her elbow. "That's why I was going to ask why you never pursued anything with him. Because Alan was talking to him a few days ago and he said that he was single. That he's been single for a while."

Oh.

The relief that had been flooding my system since I saw the picture didn't make me at ease. In fact, it only made me want to call myself an idiot for the rest of the night. I stared at my friends. "I'm an idiot." 

"You're not an idiot," Cori assured me. "You just assumed. Next time? Ask him. It saves a lot of time." 

Before I could respond to that, someone exited a room down the hallway. Tall. Blonde hair. Victor. Nikko's roommate. He locked the door behind him with a key before strolling down the hallway in our direction. When he saw me, I stood, intercepting him before he could think about moving past the four of us. "Where's Nikko?"

Victor's eyebrows rose, intrigue now on his face. "Why?"

I rolled my eyes out of habit. At least answer the question. Victor didn't seem to mind because he cracked a smile, "I thought you weren't coming."

"Who said I wasn't showing up?" I asked.

"Nikko," He confirmed, making my heart skip a beat. "He said he invited you and you turned him down."

"Because she thought he was seeing someone." Liya couldn't help but blurt out. I gaped at her as she slapped a hand over her mouth, brown eyes wide and apologetic. "Sorry, sorry, sorry."

The apology came out of her mouth repeatedly, causing Victor to chuckle but all I did was sigh. I patted her on the shoulder. "You're cut off for the night."

Still looking apologetic, she gave me two thumbs up, turning to Cori and Jaime who were talking to Aven on the phone. Unlike the majority in the hallway, Victor seemed alert, not under the influence of a single thing. That reminded me of the man I wanted to see.

"He had to take a last-minute bus to Sauga," Victor explained, brushing off the intersection. Mississauga. His hometown.

Immediately, I frowned, pulling out my phone. What happened?

Me: Where are you?

"By the way, Nikko's not seeing anyone," Victor said. To make things worse, for some unnecessary reason, he winked at me. Without another word, he breezed by the four of us, making his way downstairs. 

That was three voices of confirmation. 

Cori was right. So much time could have been saved. 

Cori and Jaime cracked up over something Aven said through the phone, causing Liya to laugh next to me. She laughed a little too hard, starting to sway. I held onto her, pulling her against me as the girls cackled well into the hallway, their sounds mixing with the music coming from downstairs. Before I could wonder what they were merry over, the response came in.

Nikko: In Sauga. Justin issue. I'll explain when I get back if I survive Coach Peters and Rosen for missing tomorrow's practice. Sunday?

The mention of that day of the week made my chest feel lighter. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Liya, who read the words on my screen, peered up at me, confused. "What does he mean by Sunday?"

I leaned against the wall. I pressed my phone to my chest, unable to bite back my grin. "It's our day."