
Chapter 12: Famously Huge Turds
"This is weird. We've got a Sovereign fleet approaching from the rear." Peter explained while he sat in the pilot seat next to Rocket.
"Why would they do that?" Gamora asked as she sat in a seat a little less than a couple of meters away from the two at the front.
"Probably because Rocket stole some of their batteries." Drax pointed out.
"Dude!" Rocket called out as he looked back to Drax who stood next to Gamora.
"You what?!" (Y/N) asked angrily as she stood on the other side of Gamora's seat.
"Right. He didn't steal some of those. I don't know why they're after us. What a mystery this is." Drax said quickly.
Peter jolted the ship to the right when the Sovereign ship's started firing at them. They manoeuvred quickly as they dodged the laser beams of the Sovereign fleet. "What were you thinking?!" Quill asked him as if he was an idiot. Which in some cases he was.
"Dude, they were really easy to steal." Rocket said, trying to defend himself.
"That's your defence?" Gamora asked.
"Come on! You saw how that High Priestess talked down to us. Now I'm teaching her a lesson!"
"Oh, I didn't realise your motivation was altruism. It's really a shame the Sovereign have mistaken your intentions and they're trying to kill us." Quill said sarcastically.
"Exactly!" Rocket agreed as he didn't hint the sarcasm.
"I was being sarcastic!"
"Oh, no. You're supposed to use a sarcastic voice! Now I look foolish!" He pouted.
"Can we put the bickering on hold until after we've survived this massive space battle?" Gamora interrupted.
"More coming!" Peter called out as more ships flew towards them.
"Good! I wanna kill some guys." Rocket said before he yelled as he rapidly shot his guns as the Sovereign ships.
"You're not killing anyone. All those ships are remotely piloted." Gamora told him, ruining his fun.
"What's the nearest habitable planet?" Peter asked.
"It's called Berhert."
"How many jumps?"
"Only one. But the access point is 47 clicks away... and you have to go through that quantum asteroid field." Quill then looked to his right and saw the quantum asteroid field. He leaned the ship towards it.
"Quill, to make it through that you'd have to be the greatest pilot in the universe." Drax explained.
"Lucky for us, I-"
"I am." Rocket finished before he took control of the ship. He controlled the ship for about 25 seconds through the field before Peter took control of ship. "What are you doing?" Rocket asked.
"I've been flying this rig since I was 10 years old."
"I was cybernetically engineered to pilot a spacecraft." Then Rocket took control again.
"You were cybernetically engineered to be a douchebag!" Then Peter took control.
"Quit it guys." (Y/N) said firmly.
"Later on tonight, you're gonna be laying down in your bed and there's gonna be something squishy in your pillow case. And you're gonna be like, 'what's this?' And it's gonna be because I put a turd in there!" Then Rocket took control, yet again.
"You put your turd in my bed, I shave you."
"Oh, it won't be my turd... It'll be Drax's."
Peter rolled his eyes and took control of the ship again. Drax laughed in the background. "I have famously huge turds." Rocket nodded as he hid a laugh.
"We're about to die and this is what we're discussing?" Gamora asked disgusted.
Rocket took over the ship but a second later Quill took over again. "Son of a.." Rocket started saying as he took control again.
"Dude! Seriously!" Quill yelled as it constantly went back and forth.
"Hey! Let me-" Rocket started talking before a asteroid hit the ship. Groot held onto (Y/N) before he fell off and Drax caught him.
They got the ship stable again and they heard, "idiots!" from below deck from Nebula.
"Well that's what you get when Quill flies." Rocket said. Peter growled and rolled his eyes as Gamora threw a piece of metal at Rocket. "Ow!" He yelled as he looked back at her.
"We still have a Sovereign craft behind us!"
"Our weapons are down." Quill informed them.
"20 clicks to the jump!" Gamora said. Drax put Groot on Gamora's shoulder before he went down below deck. Gamora positioned Groot on her shoulder so he wouldn't fall. "Hold on." She said.
Their ship dodged the lasers while making it's way through the field. Drax walked past Nebula as she tried to reach for some yaro root. Drax kicked it away before saying, "it's not ripe." He connected a metal rope to the back of his belt while putting on a blue spacesuit that covered his body is seconds. He grabbed a gun before he jumped out of the back of the ship as the rope held him.
"15 clicks to the jump!" Gamora yelled.
Drax aimed his gun.
"10 clicks!"
"Die, spaceship!" He yelled before he blew up the last one of the Sovereign ships.
"5 clicks!"
Their ship flew for about two seconds of peace before hundreds of Sovereign ships came up from behind them. "Son of a...! They went around the field!" The Sovereign blast the Guardians ships so much they couldn't see through the windscreen. Rocket looked to Quill, scared. But suddenly, all the ships exploded.
"1 click!" Gamora yelled straight after. Rocket looked out the window and saw something coming towards them.
"What is that?" He asked.
"Who cares?! That's the jump point! Go!" Quill replied. Rocket continued looking and saw it was a ship with a man standing on top.
"It's a guy." He said confused. They flew (literally) through the sky and started falling towards the Berhert surface.
"Oh my god." Gamora said as she saw Drax was still being pulled by the metal rope outside the back of the ship. "He's still out there?" Drax's cord broke but Gamora caught in time and held onto the ship while also holding onto Drax.
"Groot, put your seatbelt on!" Quill yelled back to Groot who sat in a seat eating what looked like m&m's. (Y/N) picked him up and sat down while she held him. "Prepare for a really bad landing!"
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