Amaya's POV of Wren playing Tomb Raider

Text= Wren talking

*text*= actions done by Wren

/text/= actions done in game

*text*= actions done by Amaya

Night 1

Crikey

Fluffer nutter

Well, I had to kill the wolves!

Are you kidding me? I had to restart?

Oh fuck

Amaya, do this for me

Jesus Christ! Get into cover!

Oh my god

Freakin remote controller

Oh my god dude

Well that's what I was doing

I'll just let myself die again

I hate games like this cause I suck at them

These fucking rats man

No, no, see, see. I had to go to the guy before I 'checked in'

Wow, they changed the dude every single time

*rapid button pressing*

Fuck, fuck! I was right there! Fuck! I was right there, Amaya, I was right there! That's so not fair

*whispers* there's ways to do it, bitch

Goddamn it! What the fuck man?

You win some, you lose some. In this case, I lose them all

Fudge, he freakin screamed

This is why I hate Tomb Raider. The alarm went off for no freakin reason

Now I'm gonna finish watching *incoherent muttering*

Day 2

Amaya, get your book out

Crikey

At this point, I'm just stalling... cause I'm a pussy

Ok rats, I'll waste my ammo on you

Damn, snap that bitch's neck

Frick, how did I even do it the last time?

Fudge, goddamn it. That's cool... yeah, yeah. Cool

Saw that coming

Why are you gasping and shushing?You're only alerting them of your presence

*whispers* damn, oh shit

You don't see me, I'm are the bush

You're next, buddy

Ssshhhh, it'll all be over soon

*whispers* oh fuck, almost there

Inside, woah. Fucking made it

Dead bodies... everywhere

I should probably save in case I end up dying

God I'm too much of a pussy for this shit

Deadly

Again, shushing yourself for what reason? Nada. Fucking piece of shit

/you can't hide from me/ yes I can, bitch. Watch me

Ok, go back

Nothing in gold

This one maybe?

AMMO

Oh shit. Jumped too early. Oh fuck

Ok, we really don't have any time to analyze this shit

*gasps* toxic

Now, see, if I had a health bar, I would be 0 to none. Did I just say '0 to none'? Fucking dumbass

God I hate it when the mUSIC SPEEDS UP. ON EDGE

Keep an eye out behind you, you stupid bitch. Oh shit. The fuck?

Give me my arrows back bIATCH

I'll take that and that and that because I can

Come at me bIATCH

Yikes

Oh look, it's a cult room. Wonderful

Oh, well that was just brilliant

You proud of me yet, Amaya? *yes* Awesome

/looks like we have an outsider/ Oooooohhhhhhh shit

Guess who's dying? I am! Yay!

Well, we had a good run

*dies* That was a good booty shot

I should pay attention to my surroundings more

/no one leaves/ well we'll see about that, won't we honey? Won't we?

Where's my lantern? Where did my lantern go?

What a waste of time

Oh

What did that accomplish

/that glass looks weak/ well how the hell do I reach the fucking glass?

If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. I-I mean try try again. It's been one of my favorite sayings

Bravo for being a waste of space

*sighs*

No no no cause see, there's a match right there

God freakin

Oh, I fried the control panel

Oh shit, I'm almost out of arrows

I honestly I don't know what I'm doing here. Kinda like me in life *laughs* just like me in life

Just another wASTE OF ARROWS. Just fantastic

*hums and whistles training wheel*

This one keeps regenerating behind me for some fucking reason

You're just ghosts cause how are you there? How?

/that glass looks weak/ Ok, but how do I get the freakin lantern over the glass

Oh... ok then. What a waste of my life

Now I'm down to two arrows. Bravo

*did you try shooting through the glass?* *shoots at it and doesn't work* well now I have no arrows

hURRy

YEAH. Knew it

AY, LETS GO

BOY I SHOULDA SHOT YOU DEAD WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE

/go to hell/ yes, perfect line

Yeah, you wanna fuck me up now bitch?

What were you expecting?

How is this bitch still alive?

Stand up fool

Shit

I'm beating all your grown men asses with this chick. How? Cause women power. Girl power, right?

You dead

Dang, did I kill them all?

Ah, Amaya, you should be proud of me. Are you proud of me yet *yes*. You better bitch

La-na-da-da

*reads what I write* *laughs* la-na-da-da? Why did I say that?

Markiplier who?

I went to scorching flames you freakin idiot

Oh no girlfriend...

This is highly dangerous

Oh my gosh it's like that freakin... like that freakin scene from Nightmare On Elm Street. You remember that scene, Amaya? *mhm*

Global warning, I mean warming. And Donald Trump blames it on China. This game does take place in China, right?

*dies* *gasps* what? Are you shitting me? You gotta be shitting me

Yeah, they change this guy too, apparently

*pushes guy off cliff* bye Felicia

*dies* oh she dead. Just like my social life

How are you not dead? I fucking dare you to stand up. Stand up again

Wow, he regenerated again really fast

Uh-oh. From behind too?

Those sound affects are highly unnecessary

Down and dirty. Oh, first achievement so far

Chill fam. CHILL FAM

Fudge

From over here too? Come on, now

Come on dude. From behind too?

What you thought? What you thought FAM?

Failure. FAILURE. YO MOMMA SAID THAT YOU'RE A FAILURE

Oh no. OH NO. OH MY GOD. HELLS TO THE NA

/you're mine/ uh, no I'm not. I belong to God

Run, run. Holy shit run

/you're dead/ NO IM NOT

*pauses game* holy shit, I need a break

*screeches*

Run from the bitch. Run from the bitch. RUN FROM THE BITCH. RUN FROM THE BITCH.

Can't I just stay inside and drink hot cocoa?

I'm over here, about to die

BAne hEADASS SMH
Go back to batman

I'll be your escape code, ok?

*gasp* WOAH. CHILL FAM

A-Amaya?

15 bULLETS

What's wrong with you psychopath?!?

How do you move with that 60 pound shield?

Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes.

*sings* When you try your best but you don't succeed

He blew himself up

SLAY. SLAY.

He blew himself up from me running away from him. See? Being a pussy works

I don't have a torch cause I'm smart

Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet?

Yay, free stuff

OPEN. THE. BOX.

I should explore this region a bit. Never mind. That was a waste of time

How do rats get up there?!? They need an exterminator to kill them in rusty armor

You have daddy issues and that's alright

So y'all boys can waste your lives shooting at me

Oh, I have to ease up?

Ok bitch, damn. You can get off now

If someone starts shooting at me from up here... I won't accept it

Work faster, honeybooboo. Don't stop climbing

WHO HAD THE GUTS TO BUILD THIS

You know what triggers me *hm?* having balls makes you brave but being a pussy makes you a wimp *never thought of that before*

OO them graphics though

I love how they're hiding in safety while  I'm out here with Shrek shooting at me

*stares into space* *points at screen for her to do something* Oh, whoops

Did I kill the entire camp yet?

Oh my god, OK. I love how I'm not afraid of heights in this game

Dead bodies! Yay! Start a party!

*starts fire* Woah

You and your jumping. I hope you set yourself on fire

Oh, I have to set fire to the gasoline? *mhm*

UH-OH. UH-OH

IS THIS A REMOTE CONTROL OR A VIBRATOR

*plane crashes* oh... well go figure

*hums while sliding down a hill with a plane crashing behind her*

*coughs* damn bitch. Don't choke

*puts on fedora and glasses* I'll play like this

*does some parkour shit* Oh shit, that was badass. I could join a circus, after this

How are you equipped for this?

*sings* don't stop, running.

oH GOD

RUN BITCH, DANG

/you're mine/ NO I'M FUCKING NOT YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILE

Shut the HELL up. You want to die, don't you? I'm trying my best

*goes into trap* uh-oh

*shoots and kills people while hanging upside down* even when I'm hanging upside down, I'm a badass

Where'd my fucking handgun go? Christ

*dies* FUCK GODDAMN IT

I can never catch a break, goddamn it. I'm in a river now?

*randomly sings a lyric that I don't know of*

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH LORA. FREAKIN. CROFT. FAM

Kind of a dumb thing to say

Hurry

*the barrel* good advice Amaya... good advice *obviously sarcastic*

*is that a key?* no

Can I get my rope back? Fucking assholes

*makes annoying noises with tongue*

TEMPLE RUN

YIKES. Do you not know how to fucking run?

*mocks Lora* there was a storm- BITCH SHUT YOUR DRAMATIC ASS UP

*stares intently at screen and does nothing for five seconds* what am I doing?

At night, I think of you

FUCKING HELL IN A HAND BASKET

Awe, well that attempt didn't last long, did it? That was adorable on how you tried

*eats a cookie I gave to her*

*sings FOB*

Found a base camp, I can upgrade my bow

Can I shut the door? *no, Wren. I can't close the goddamn door* *sings a parody to I Write Sins Not Tragedies*

*attempts something* ...well I failed

It feels like I'm walking in a large ashtray and that I'm a cigarette

*achievement* One Smart Cookie? Now I want another cookie *me too*

This game is called Tomb Raider, but I didn't find that Tomb. Maybe I'm the Tomb or maybe it's just a metaphor. All I know is that we raided a lot of shit

*pauses game* what have you written? It's been a while since I checked in