FINAL PART
s1e7 end games
part four :

ITS YOUR GAME

the crowd chanted my name to the beat of my heavy heart, and i swallowed hard.

this was it. i had studied all morning, talking to all the boys as we went through every possible situation. i had no pills. no alcohol. nothing in me at all, actually.

it was pure adrenaline i was running on.
and i hoped it would be enough.

"go beat him." benny said to me before we hung up. i couldn't tell if the words wanted me to cry or scream more, but waiting in agony was my only option.

but now, play time minutes away, i shook out the nerves in my body as i walked to the table where borgov sat also.

my heart was pounding, and my vision was blurry. my breaths were irregular. but yet, something inside me was strong. confident.

determined.

borgov stared me right in the eyes, and we continued our game from yesterday.

the man made the move that borgov had wrote yesterday, and i responded quite quickly, due to the studying we had done earlier.

i felt townes eyes on my from the audience as i attacked his king. i breathed out as i slid the piece, and back in when he reacted.

he face tightened, and just like that, he knew he had done it. he didn't react the way he was supposed to, he had done it better. he had sniffed me out, he had found my weakness and exploited it. he had... won?

in that moment, for the most unknown reason, i saw mother. her sitting on the bed in mexico city, telling me to relax. telling me, that chess is mostly about intuition.

"ive noticed the moves they applaud the loudest are the moves you make rather quickly," she had said, "and theres a certain look on your face." she sighed, "that kind of intuition cannot be found in books, dear."

i looked up at borgov, not letting my eyes fill just quite yet. i had that intuition, my whole life. pills or not. what i have used to get this far could not be found in books. and what it took to beat borgov definitely couldn't either.

my breaths became heavy, and my eye sight became clearer than it ever has been. i had what it took to beat borgov, i just had to find it.

before i knew it, a chess board appeared on the ceiling. my blood pounded in my ears and my heart felt exhilarated, but i didn't let myself get distracted. i hadn't done this since back in lexington, almost overdosed on tranquilizers. but if anything, i was more alive now than i ever had been before.

i was alive.

minutes later, i found it. i had the move. i had the sequence to knock him off his feet.

"draw?"

i let a shaky breath out, and my mind went blank. the word startled me, and i panicked. i looked up to see borgov glaring at me. the same glare that gave little beth a stomach ache as she rummaged through the magazines. i got that stomach ache now, and i pushed down the bile rising in my throat.

borgov never offered a draw. he was so powerful at his end games, completely opposite of me. if i drawed, i would come out with a tie of the championship title, which would be more than an achievement. but if i didn't, i could find myself in a very different position later. a worse one.

but, no. i was so close to fulfilling my plan. and, now i had weakened borgov to the point of hesitation. i couldn't stop now, it was almost over.

i had the victory. and it was mine.

i shook my head. never in a million years.

we continued playing, but i had much more confidence now. i knew he was scared, he was broken down, and his gameplay was getting weaker by the second. and only a few moves later, and he could only stare at the board.

i breathed out for the first time in minutes, and he looked up at me.

and he smiled.

i thought i was dreaming. the world got blurry and the breaths from the people around me went silent. everything was out of focus, except borgovs face, his words seeming like they cut into my skin, "it's your game."

he took his queen, and held it out to me, "take it."

my knees buckled, but he helped me to my feet and wrapped his arms around me. i put my cheek to his chest, and the first tear slid down my cheek.

my eyes fell to townes, and that's when it hit.

i did it. seven year old beth, taught by a janitor, townes, harry beltik, benny watts, and more herself than anyone else, had just become world chess champion.

and it felt so good.

standing there, with the crowd hollering and borgov clapping the loudest, i just smiled. i gleamed. i had revived shaibel, i had honored my mother, i had made it up to benny and Jolene, and i had proved beltiks words back at the school wrong.

i had beaten all my demons, i had gotten the true prize.

fulfillment. finally.

i had won.

♖                     ♖

you'd think that's where my story would end, but as i walked down the streets of russia, choosing to miss my flight back home, i learned something else.

the alleyway was wide and dusty, the fog not letting me see halfway through it. tables with old men playing chess still remained, just like the other day, and i smiled as i made my way over. i just had to see this.

but as i inched closer, my white jacket and hat keeping me warm against the chilled evening air, an old man met my eye.

"harmon?" he stood up, reaching for my head, "harmon!" he cheered, getting the men's attention around him.

and they all stood up, and all i saw were hands.

and i realized, it wasn't the fame or the title that i did this for. that made me start this. it was the game, the people, the thrill.

these men, old but not old in mind, played chess for the fun of it. they didn't play for competition, or the titles, but simply just to get their mind off of life. the same reason it was so intriguing back at methuan. it was exhilarating, and was just entertaining to take me away from the life that i dreaded.

and all they wanted now, from the chess world champion, was a hand shake.

no pictures, or autographs, or words of wisdom. it was humbling, and more fulfilling than anything i had ever received. any trophy, any title, any win.

just a handshake and a warm embrace.

the crowd departed as a weak voice spoke out, and an old man sat at a wooden table. he casted his hand out to the blank board in front of him, and smiled up at me.

i smiled too, walking over to sit down across from him, folding my hands underneath my chin, and looking up at him with confidence in my eyes.

let's show them what i'm made of.

"let's play."

♞  ♞  ♞