s1e1 openings
part two :

the janitor's game

i joined the other children for lunch, finding a seat across from Jolene. maybe it was her indifference towards the other girls, but there was something about her that comforted me.

it was then that i actually looked at the food on the plate that had been in my hands. there was a lot of white rice, some green peas, and a chunk of some sort of meat covered in more sauce that was needed. i spun my fork in my hands, noticing all of the other girls eating it like it was normal.

Jolene must have caught my uneasy gaze.

she snickered, "i thought i told you to wait and take those vitamins at bedtime."

even though i still felt dizzy, i still didnt get that theory. so i looked down at my food.

"what is this?"

"fish." the girl said beside me.

"far as we know." Jolene said, a tone laced within her words that made me even more uneasy.

the girl beside me mentioned how you must eat every bite or you wont get adopted, and i looked over to our headmaster.

Mrs Deardorff ate quickly, but mostly kept her eyes bouncing around the children in front of her.
she was watching us.

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i quickly excelled in math, i would often find myself finishing before all the other girls. the teacher caught on as well, and it became tradition for me to do my work and bring the erasers down to the home's basement and clean them off. this tradition is what made it all start.

the game.

the basement was a scary place. to an average eye at least. it was dark and dank and was home to the janitor, a plump older man who frequently stared at a checkered board with more pieces that seemed necessary for a board game. the same man i saw moping the floor on my first day. it was this place, this man, and this game that would become my greatest asset when it came to surviving at methuan, and, soon the real world.

he would always catch me staring, and i would quickly look away and briskly walk back to class.

i tried to forget about the incident and walked back to class. later that day, just before lunch, we all got in line for the pills.

Jolene would be there. everyday, her moves were exactly the same.

she'd always take the cup, shove the pills in her mouth, and crumble up the plastic between her fingers, dropping it back on the table. turning around to head to lunch, she would wait until she passed me to stick out her tongue to reveal the green pill. she would retrieve the pill and put it in the same pocket of her dress, never forgetting to turn around to wink at me.

i wondered what her intention was. taking these pills only at night.

'otherwise they turn off right when you need them to turn on'  i remembered her saying that first day in line. but what could that mean.

that night, i found myself holding the pill until i laid in my bed. i held the pill in my fingers, rolling it and flipping it around.

naturally, my mind went to the janitor. and that game he was always playing.

he always sat alone, so i knew it must've been a one person game. why did he always seem so focused, so into the game? like it was a novel and he just couldn't help flipping to the next page.

i was able to pick up patterns quickly as i watched him throughout the weeks. there were two sets of pieces, whites and blacks. and many of each that sat on opposite sides, i hadn't gotten a close look at the board just yet. he always switched between what color he moved, and they all seemed to move towards the other end of the board in a different way.

each day when i got to go down to the basement, i paid more and more attention. i focused more on what pieces he moved,  and in what ways he moved them. i picked up more and more patterns as i watched.

i looked back at the pill in between my fingers. i figured tonight was the night. i was going to try out Jolene's method.

i shoved the pill in my mouth, swallowing it dry, and waited.

and waited.

some time within my waiting, i glanced up at the ceiling. the shadows of the trees just outside the window made long, swaying moving patterns on the ceiling. almost psychedelic, confusing my eyes because i could never quite focus on them.

but it only made me look at it more.

i knew it was the complexity of the janitor's game that hooked me. that made me want to know more. just like these shadows, it's when my focus is tested that my determination grows.

suddenly, the shadows began to move in ways a tree wouldnt. it was almost like they were morphing into something else, right before my eyes. i squinted to make out the shapes, but it all seemed to blur.

was this the medicine?
or was it me?

a checker board quickly flashed up on the ceiling, and i stared at it. what was happening.

i quickly blinked to bring myself back to reality, and the sound of twenty girls sleeping and the wind howling outside came back to me. the shadows of the trees slightly swaying proved to me that the board was just my imagination.

nothing more.

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i constantly found my mind back toward the board game, and my body back to the dusty basement. after i'd finish all my assignments, when i didnt want to sing in choir, or when i was just bored. i'd ask to go to the bathroom and walk to the basement.

"what do you want child?" i remember him saying to me the first day i didnt hide my staring eyes, "you should be in chapel."

"whats that game called?" i asked.

"you should be upstairs with the others."

"i dont wanna be with the others. i wanna know what that is youre playing."

he huffed, but had yet to take his eyes off of the board in front of him. "its called chess."

he refused to teach me that day, called me a stranger. and somehow that disqualified me as a worthy opponent.

that made me mad. but i walked out all the same.

the pieces.
his moves.
the patterns.
i was able to pick a lot of things up just by watching. his strategies, and what moves caused other moves. it was all so...

fascinating. complex.

one week, i decided to skip a day and take both green pills together. i liked the way it made me feel, and i wanted to see the shadows shift again.

i took both of them and laid down on my pillow. i thought of all the move sequences i had seen him do in the past couple days. i figured if he wasnt going to teach me, i'd try to figure it out myself. i had to do it myself.

i opened my eyes and realized that the checkered pattern had appeared on the wall once again, and i squinted.

i blinked, but this time it remained. okay, it wants to stay. ill let it.

i looked at it harder this time.

it was an 8 by 8 board, with boxes alternating between black and white squares. it was a peculiar looking thing, but at the same time was soothing to the eyes.

a big shadowing figure coming down from the ceiling startled me, but it didnt stop until it perfectly shaped one of the pieces. i hadn't even noticed i remembered what the pieces looked like, but that was definitely one of them. slowly, the board above my head filled up with all the pieces that were on the janitors board, adding the same ones to the other side differentiating in color. soon enough, the board was full, and a perfect chess board stared right back at me.

was this the pills? am i hallucinating? or is this just a very vivid memory.

i inhaled.

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"i'm not a stranger."

silence.

"i live here."

more silence.
i'm going to have to try harder.

"i already know some of it," it was a bit of a stretch. what i really knew was stuff about it, but he'd see that in a second anyway, "from watching."

"girls do not play chess."

i felt my jaw set and my eyes darken.

try harder.
show him my strengths.

"that one moves up and down, or back and forth..." one by one, i got through a few of the pieces and told him how they moved.

silence, again.

"lets play a game."

the words shocked me, but i tried not to let my guard down.

"now or never." he was still staring at me, probably because i hadn't moved.

i brought over a chair, and sat down across from him.

"i play white." i took that as he was the one who went first. fine.

he started by moving his pawn, and i mirrored it. i mostly moved my knight across the board in repeating L shapes, which is the knights signature move, but i really focused on his moves and i tried to memorize them.

he slide his queen a few squares to my pawn, grabbing it as the queen took its place and placed it on the side of the board.

by the look i must've gave him he spoke up, "its called the Scholar's Mate."

the what now.

"how do you do it?"

"not today."

"show me." i got angry.

"not today."

jaw set, eyes darken. fine.

for the next week, i saved all my green pills in the cup that held my toothbrush beside my bed. i took a whole weeks worth at once.

i'd figure it out myself.

The Scholar's Mate.

his voice echoed in my head, as if he was taunting me.

as the board reappeared on the wall and the pieces flashed before my eyes, i thought about his moves.

pawn. queen, queen.

only three moves for him to complete this sequence.

as i thought about each one, the pieces above me carried out my thoughts. all of our moves slide up above me, and i watched our game from the ceiling. my eyes widened, but i focused even more.

they repeated and repeated and repeated. right before my eyes. i'd tap my finger against the side pole of my twin bed and the pieces would slide above me.

the Scholars Mate. i got it within five times.

this could work.

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