If you can recognize those ^ hands, I'll love you forever!!

CHAPTER 9
Painful Truths and Agonizing Heartbreaks

Regret

That's the only feeling I got after having sex with that asshole, Alec.

I came back home and collapsed on my bed as soon as I walked into my room.

I had slept with Alec plenty of times last year, but I don't remember feeling this unsatisfied. This time, it was different. This time, I was in love with someone.

For the past four months, I hadn't slept with anyone but Blake. But after his phone call today, I really needed to blow off some steam. So, I called Alec.

Why do I feel regretful? I thought to myself. Blake wasn't my boyfriend, and I had every right to sleep with others just the way he had rights to be with that bitch. 

The doorbell rang throughout the house, but I stayed frozen on my bed, feelings the numbness in my heart spread to my body.

A creak of the door notified me that one of the maids answered it, and soon, heavy footsteps filled my hearing, increasing as they neared my room.     

"Hey Lynne." 

"Blake, I'm not in the mood," I whispered, my eyes focused on the ceiling above me. 

"I'm not here for sex, Lynne. I need a place to stay."

I opened my eyes and sat up straight.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly

"My parents are fighting again. I can't be there when they're like that." His voice broke in between his words, and the tears forming at the rim of his eyes glistened under the bright yellow lights. 

I stood up, walking up to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him as tight as I can, and clenched my eyes shut as he returned the hold. Just being near him made my nerves judder more erratic than it did while being fucked by Alec.

He pulled away from me, grabbing my face in his hands. "Did you eat anything?"

"Not. Take a shower and freshen up," I suggested. "I'll ask Helena to make us something."

"I already ate," he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"With Terra," I guessed, noticing the guilty look he wore.

"I know you don't like her, but—" 

"Take a shower," I interrupted. "Then you can drool as you watch me eat," I joked, trying to push her out of our conversations. He was upset, and I didn't want to drag this problem in. 

Love was funny that way. My own pain didn't hurt as much as seeing him in pain.

He lightly smiled, kissing my forehead before walking to the bathroom. I ordered Helena to prepare some white sauce pasta and switched on the TV, settling on my bed.

A few minutes later, Helena walked into the room. She rolled the over-bed tray to over my lap and placed my food on it. 

The click of a door turned out attention to the steam escaping the bathroom, and Blake emerged into our view. My lips parted, eyes stalking the water droplets dripping down his hair only to land on his broad, toned chest. My hands itched to pull off the white towel around his waist that blocked my view of the only dick that my body craved for anymore.

Holy shit, I'm still horny. I guess Alec was a waste of time then.

A soft cough from his mouth made my eyes snap to his smirk as he watched me intensely. I shook my head, and looked away from him to Helena whose eyes danced up and down Blake body.

"Helena!" I screeched, making her wide fearful eyes snap to me. "How would your son react knowing that the men you lust for are younger than him?"

"I didn—" 

"Get out!" I shouted. She nodded quickly, rushing out, following my orders. 

I turned back to Blake, his smirk replaced with disappointment. I shrunk into my sheets guilty, turning my gaze away from his. 

I heard him sigh before walking into my closet where he had his own little cupboard for the clothes he wore every time he slept over. 

Clothed, he walked out with the displeased frown etched onto his face.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked, turning back to the TV as he climbed the bed.  

"I didn't like the way you talked to her, Lynne. She just looked at me because I walked into the room—not in that way." 

"I didn't like the way she looked at you. End of discussion," I said. I stared at the TV intently, ignoring all his attempts to capture my attention. 

"Lynne, you get annoyed no matter what these maids do. They're humans with feelings that get hurt when you're harsh to them."

"What's with the sudden sympathy to that maid?" I asked, glancing at him before looking back at the screen.

"Look at me." He grabbed the TV remote from my hand and switched it off, forcing my eyes to him. "It wouldn't hurt to say a 'thank you' instead of these insults, Lynne. They work day and night for you. Look at this food." He pointed to the bowl on the tray in front of me. "She made it all for you."

"She didn't make it for me," I whispered. "She made it for the money she gets. None of them do anything for me, but for the money. They all hate me, Blake. Have you heard the things they say behind my back?"

"Maybe they wouldn't say anything if you were nice to them," he said. 

"They would. When I met most of them, I was just a kid who barely spoke to anyone. A snobbish little girl they had to submit to, living all alone because her own parents couldn't stand being with her—that's all they needed to hate me. And I hate them."

"I'll never be nice to the people who've hurt me," I said, clenching my jaw, staring straight ahead. I brought my gaze back to him, my eyes softening on meeting his tearing pair. "Unless they give me a reason to overlook that pain."

"What about me?" he asked. "Am I among the ones who've never hurt you or the ones who give you a reason to overlook it?"

"Not the first. You've hurt me a lot, Blake."

He gulped, his eyes searching for mine as he reached out to touch my face. Before he could I moved my face, facing forward. 

"Remember the time you spanked me with a belt?" I plastered an amused smile to my face. "You hurt me a lot that night, Blake." 

Relief took over his face, and he lightly chuckled. "You asked for it. I warned you a lot of times that you won't like it. I know your body better than you do." He smirked proudly, grabbing my waist and pulling me to his lap, getting a squeal from me. "We're never trying BDSM again." 

"It wasn't all bad. I didn't mind being tied up," I mumbled.

"Really?" he whispered huskily. "We still have the handcuffs in your closet."

My breath hitched as his face moved closer to mine, soaring the beat of my heart. I stayed frozen as his lips brushed against mine, teasing my body.

"Not tonight," I said, making him pull away.

Not after we were both with other people.

"Okay." He sighed sadly. His eyes averted to the untouched bowl of pasta. "Aren't you going to eat?" 

"I'm not hungry anymore," I said. 

He shook his head, taking the bowl from the tray, holding it between our bodies. 

"Open up," he said bringing the spoon towards my mouth.

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. Do you want me to pretend this is an airplane?"

"No way," I mumbled before opening my mouth.

"Okay, here come the airplane. Zoooom." He made weird sounds, drawing patterns in the air with the spoon.

"Just put it in already," I ordered, opening my mouth again, and he put the spoon inside.

"You know, this reminds me of other things that I could put in your mouth." He smirked as I swallowed my food.

"Don't. I'm eating," I warned and he laughed.

Once I was forced to finish my food, Blake offered to take the bowl as I lied down on my bed. He came back, getting in bed with me, and scooting way too close to me. 

"Switch off the lights," I ordered Blake.

"No," he whined.

"What's so hard in it? The switch is right next to you."

"But I'd rather stare at your face longer," he said.

"Cheesy," I commented, trying to hide a smile.

He didn't say anything more. He just stared into my eyes.

"So, you weren't kidding about the staring?" I asked amused.

He shook his head and continued to look at me with his gorgeous blue eyes. An inevitable smile appeared on my face and I felt myself staring back as we both laid on our sides.

He slowly started leaning in, still holding my gaze. My eyes involuntarily closed waiting for his lip until I came back to my senses.

Immediately, I turned to lie on my back, facing the ceiling. Even though I couldn't see it, I could still feel his eyes observing me.

"So, Terra?" I asked awkwardly still finding it hard to look at him.

I felt him stiffen beside me and he remained silent for a while as if debating whether he should say something or not

"Where did you guys go?" I asked.

"To our usual bridge", he replied and my heart dropped.

That was the place where I realized I was in love with him.

"Then we went to Terra's favorite diner", he continued, "I should really take you there sometime."

"No thanks", I mumbled, "We don't know what kind of poison they serve in such places."

"Lynne, don't be like that. You don't have to hate everything associated with Terra", he said making me roll my eyes.

We were silent for a while until I decided to repeat the question that I asked earlier today, hoping that his answer would've changed.

"Do you like her?" My voice came out as a whisper holding the anxiety to hear his answer.

"I'm not sure. But I think I do like her", he said slowly being careful of my reaction.

"Why?" I asked facing him again.

He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you like her?" I asked him and he thought for a second.

"Her world is different from ours. Hanging out with her makes me forget about all the bullshit that goes in my life. And no matter how rude you guys were to her, she still tried to get along with us. Even after everything you did to her, she never tried to get you back for it", he smiled, "I don't know why, but I feel like she's perfect."

I felt my heart break as he said those words with a bright smile on his face.

She's everything that I'm not and he likes that. I'm the one who messed up and she's the one who did all the right things. If only he knew that I did all that for him.

"Umm, Lynne" he called sounding hesitant, "There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?" I asked trying not to let my voice falter.

"I asked Terra to go to the ball with me", he said, "But only because you didn't want to go. If you want to, I'll just call her and cancel."

"No, don't. It's alright", I said, "Could you switch off the lights now?"

He reached out for the switch and soon all I saw was darkness. I turned away from him trying to hold in my tears but the moment he was out of my view, I lost it.

The more I try to pull him closer, the further he goes and the closer he gets with her. Soon, he's going to fall in love with her and I'm going to be left on the sidelines, all alone wishing that he would love me the way I love him.

But he won't. He'll never love me because I'm not the kind of person he would love.

Before he came in to my life, I had nobody. And when he leaves, I'm going to be alone again.

He's the only person that I've ever loved. I didn't have my parents or a family to love and he is all that I have. But soon, he's not going to be there either.

And I'm going to be all alone, I thought as I drifted into sleep.

Author's Note

Omg this chapter was so hard to write. My heart's seriously breaking for Addelyn now.

I tried to focus this chapter more on her thoughts and emotions. I'm not usually the kind to write huge paragraphs on how a character is feeling, but in this chapter, I thought I'd give it a try. Although there still wasn't much description on it. Yeah, I kinda suck at these things and this is probably the chapter that I'm most insecure with. But I hope it wasn't too bad.

Okay, let's forget about that bullshit. 

So, we have ship names already.

Blake and Addelyn: Blynne
Thank you For_FoxSake for the ship name.

Blake and Terra: Blerra
Thank you milesaway404 for the ship name.

Cole and Terra: Colerra
Thank you again milesaway404 for the ship name.
(And yes, we are aware that it sounds like Cholera)

Cole and Addelyn: Caddy
Thank you Nasiim22 for the ship name.

Those are all the ship names I got from the last chapter. Noice.

So, if you liked what you read, vote.

If you want to keep reading, add this to your library so you'll know when I update.

If you have absolutely anything to say, good or bad, feel free to comment and let me know.

And if you made it till the end, thank you for reading and I love you so much!

Okay, have fun, enjoy life.

Signed,
Me