CHAPTER 30
Torturous Sufferings and Lost Hopes

He kissed her.

He kissed her over and over again as I silently cried in the corner.

He smiled at her for a second and then he kissed her again.

Again and again and again until I woke up in the morning with my arms still wrapped around him as his head rested on my shoulder.

I slowly caressed his cheek, feeling his warmth on my hand. I placed a soft kiss on his forehead as I felt a tear slip down my face, knowing that I was going to lose him but I didn't want to. I wasn't ready to let go off him yet.

I slowly moved his head off me before getting up and walking into the washroom to do my morning routine.

When I came back to my room, he was sitting on the bed just staring into space. As soon as he spotted me, he smiled at me before beckoning me towards him.

I walked to my bed and was about to sit on it, but he pulled me to his lap before I could.

"I'm sorry about last night." He said.

"It's alright." I murmured.

He smiled and he leaned in to kiss me but I moved my head to other side, making his smile drop.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"You haven't brushed yet." I said and he visibly relaxed before the smile appeared on his face again.

"Then I better go brush." He grinned before picking me up and placing on the bed, then walking into the washroom as I sadly watched his figure disappeared out of my sight.

I got up from my bed and got dressed for school before he got out of the bathroom after his shower.

He hugged me from my back and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Lynne. I'm sorry for fighting with Cole and you were right. I have no rights to tell you who to be with. If you want to start something with him, then fine. Just don't block me out, please." He said but that wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I wanted him to tell me about the kiss and tell me that it meant nothing to him. But he didn't

He slowly turned me around to face him. "Are we okay?" He asked and I nodded softly.

He smiled and leaned in to kiss me but I moved my head away again.

"What's wrong now?" He asked.

"I have my lipstick on." I said.

"Your lipstick does not smudge." He pointed out.

"I'm using a different one today." I said.

"You're lying." He whispered, "D-Don't you want to kiss me?"

"Not really." I shrugged, "I don't feel like it."

"Does this have something to do with Cole?" He asked before clenching his jaw.

"No!" I replied exasperated, "Do I really need a reason to not kiss you? I just don't want to kiss you. It's as simple as that."

"Okay." He sighed sadly, lowering his head.

"Whatever. Let's just go to school." I said before walking out of the room.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

School wasn't any better. All I could think about was the kiss. I kept on imagining scenarios in my head where he confesses his love for her, then they get married and they have two little brunette kids who have gigantic creepy eyes like hers.

But now going home was worse. As soon as I got out of the school, I was greeted with the sight of Blake leaning against the hood of his car. I was going to just slip away without him noticing me, but I realized he did when I heard him call my name.

I reluctantly walked over to him and he gave me a soft smile. He stood up straight and cupped my face in his hand before pressing his lips to my forehead.

"Ready to go?" He asked.

"Actually, I'm catching a ride with Hazel." I said.

"Hazel has cheerleading today." He reminded me.

"Right." I said awkwardly, "Then I'm catching a ride with Asher."

"You don't want to drive with me." He said sadly and I looked away from him.

He waited for me to say something but when I remained silent, he spoke again. "Asher's still inside. I'll call him."

"No, it's fine. I'll go meet him." I told him before turning away and walking towards the entrance of the school.

Just as I was about to enter, I saw Cole exit from the school. As soon as his gaze met mine, his eyes widened and he quickly turned around before speed walking in the other direction.

"Cole, wait!" I shouted as I ran to catch up with him. I touched his shoulder when I reached him and he turned around to face me.

"Why are you running away from me?" I asked.

"I.... w-well.... y-you...."

"Oh for god sake, Cole! Are you going to act as if I'm going to eat you up every time we hook up?"

"N-No"

"Quit stuttering! I'm not here to talk about that."

"O-Ok-ka–" He stopped midway when he saw the glare I gave him, "S-Sor–"

"Cole", I called, "Take a deep breath." I told him and he did as I said.

"Now stay still until you choke."

"What?!" He asked and I smirked.

"You're not stuttering anymore." I pointed out with a victorious smile.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know." I said. Honestly, I had no idea why I was talking to him. But I felt like it. Maybe because he's the only person going through the same shit that I am.

"Where's that homewrecker?" I asked.

"She's not a homewrecker." He argued, "Your cheating boyfriend is the homewrecker."

"Cole, you know that he's not my boyfriend and he didn't cheat on me."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes. "And about Terra, she didn't come to school today."

"The nerd skipped school? What's the occasion?"

"She wasn't feeling well." He said with an eye-roll. "She came home crying last night but she wouldn't tell me why or where she went. And in the morning, she said that she's sick but that's a lie." He sighed.

"She has no rights to cry over him." I snarled, "I'm the one with a loss here."

"He broke her heart too." Cole said through his clenched teeth. "He's a complete asshole. I have no idea why you two are behind that no good piece of shit."

"Don't say that about him." I said before turning around only to see Blake still standing in the same position I left him as he stared at us with a mixture of anger and hurt.

"I'm sorry." Cole sighed, "I've just been in a bad mood since last night."

"It's alright. It's the same with me." I said and he nodded.

"Can you give me a ride?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure. Just get in." He said, gesturing to his car, parked a few steps away from us.

I nodded my head before walking towards the passenger seat of his car and getting in. He got in the driver seat and started the engine.

As he started moving the car out of the parking lot, I saw Blake watching us with a hurt expression on his face which made me want to get out and run up to him with hug. But I didn't. I sat there with a stone-cold expression till he was out my sight.

"Where are we going?" Cole asked.

"I don't know. Take me anywhere but home."

"Is it okay if we go to my house? I'm really tired." He said.

"No one cares if you're tired. We're not going to the place where that she-devil is."

"She's not a–"

"Shut it, Cole." I rolled my eyes.

"Fine." He said, "There's a beach nearby. Can we go there?" He asked.

"Fine." I sighed.

We sat in an awkward silence until we reached the beach. Without any word, I got out and started walking, knowing that he's following behind until he reached my side.

"So, your plan is to ignore Blake?" He asked.

"It's not a plan." I said, "I don't want to ignore him. But last night I had a nightmare where he kept kissing her repeatedly. Now, when I look at him, all I could see is that nightmare."

"I'm glad I wasn't there to witness that kiss." Cole grimaced, "Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. So, I can't even imagine how disgusted you might be after seeing that."

"Very", I said as I sat down on the sand and Cole settled down beside me.

"You know, I was never the kind to care about such things. I've seen him with plenty of girls but it's different now that I've realized my feelings for him."

"I've always known about my feelings for Terra." Cole said, "But gladly, I've never had to watch her kiss any other guy. Blake was her first kiss." He sighed sadly.

"No, he isn't. She kissed Jac– Oh my god, she had her first kiss when she was intoxicated." I said in an amused tone.

"Yeah. I forgot about that." He said, "I guess she deserved that."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, I guess it's what she gets for getting drunk and drinking from Hazel's cup." He said and I frowned in confusion until realization dawned upon me.

I lied to him that night.

"Right." I said, "That was totally her fault. Stupid bitch acts all innocent, but she really isn't."

"She isn't like that." He said, "I don't know what got into her that night."

"When you're drunk, the real you comes out. You think she's so innocent, but she really isn't."

"Addy, you just don't know her well. Maybe you might actually like if you tried to understand her."

"I don't think that I'll ever like her." I said and he sighed.

"You've never talked to her about that night, have you?" I asked him.

"No. Either she didn't remember much, or she wasn't comfortable talking about it, but she never said anything. And I never asked either."

"Great! Why bring up bad memories, right?" I asked with a fake smile etched on my face and he nodded.

After a moment of silence, I spoke up again.

"They really do like each other, don't they?" I asked and Cole's face saddened even more.

"I wish they didn't." He whispered and I let out a sad sigh before resting my head against his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around me, and we sat there in silence until a ringing of the phone interrupted us.

"Blake?" Cole asked and I nodded before cutting the call.

"I don't get why you're in love with him." Cole said, "Clearly, things didn't work out between them last night, which is the only reason why he's back to you. What if things happened differently? What would've happened to you?" He asked.

"I don't know. I guess he wouldn't want me anymore." I said, "Not that he really wants me now. It honestly sucks being the side hoe when there's someone else that he'd rather be with."

"Then why do you keep doing this?" He asked

"Because I love him, and I don't know how I'll survive without him in my life."

"If he's really your best friend like he says he is, then you don't need the sex to keep him in your life, Addy."

"You know, you're not as dumb as I thought you were." I said.

"And you're not as mean as I thought you were."

"Oh come on, Cole. We've been friends since we were 10. It's funny how you just noticed how sweet I am." I scoffed.

"It's very rare to see you be sweet. And most of the time, you're only sweet to Blake."

"And other people."

"A very few other people." He said.

"Whatever! Let's just get going already." I said, getting up from the sand before dusting off my clothes.

We walked to his car and entered before he started the engine.

"Your house, right?" He asked.

"No, I don't feel like going home," I said, "Just drop me off at Asher's."

He nodded and within a few minutes, we reached Asher's place.

"Thanks for today. I guess I really needed to talk to someone who would understand." I said and he gave me a polite nod.

"Whatever you decide to do with Blake, just know that I'll be there for you." He said, placing his hand over mine and I gave him a smile.

I got out of the car before walking up to Asher's front door and ringing the bell. The door opened and Kristine greeted me with a broad smile.

"Addy, I didn't know you were coming." She said before pulling me into a hug.

"I wasn't planning to. But I just thought I would." I said, "Could I stay over tonight?"

"Of course, you could, honey. Come in." She said, stepping aside, letting me enter through the door.

"Where's Asher?" I asked.

"He's up in his room." She said and I smiled before kissing her cheek and walking upstairs.

I opened his room and saw him sitting on his bed going through his phone. He looked up and gave me a smile which dropped as soon as he saw the look on my face.

"Addy, are you alright?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, tears started streaming down my face and every single bit of emotion that I tried holding back since last night came rushing back to me. I closed his bedroom door and ran up to him before throwing my arms around him.

He hugged me and slowly caressed my back. "Addy, what's wrong?"

"I love him, Asher." I choked out, feeling harder to breath, "I love him so much." My voice was barely audible, and I found it harder to speak with each word.

"I know, Addy. But what's wrong?"

"I-I'm going to...." I trailed off, not being able to speak. "I'm going to l-lose him."

The tears fell onto Asher's shoulder, staining his shirt as I tried to keep my sobs as low possible.

"Addy, you're not going to lose him."

"I am." I cried, "I can't take it anymore." I whispered.

"He'll never love me." More tears descended my cheek. "He'll never love me." I repeated slowly trying to process each word.

"He will. Just give him more time." Asher said softly.

"No, no, no, no." I chanted softly. "I can't. I-I can't keep hoping that he'll love me because he won't."

"Addy he will. I know that he will." He said and I pulled away from him, shaking my head.

"He kissed her." I said and Asher's eyes widened, "H-He wants her. Not me."

"Add–"

"P-Please don't say otherwise. You t-told me that he only wanted me and I b-believed you." I sniffed, "But you were wrong."

"I'm sorry. I actually thought that he–"

"Never mind. I-It's fine." I said, "I just dreamt t-too big. I guess it was never meant to be. H-He's not mine. I kept fooling myself saying that he is. B-But he isn't."

"Addy, just don't think about all this now." Asher said.

He got up from the bed and went into his closet before returning with some clothes.

"These are Hazel's." He said, handing them over to me. "Go get changed."

I nodded before walking into the washroom to get changed. Once I was done, I got back to Asher's room where he was talking over the phone.

"She's here with me." I heard him speak into the phone.

"Yes, she's fine."

"No, don't wait there. She's not coming home." He informed.

"No, you can't talk to her right now."

"For the millionth time, Blake! She's fine. Just go home. You'll see her at school tomorrow."

"Alright, bye." He hung-up with an eye roll and I climbed on his bed.

"I want to talk to him." I said.

"Are you sure?" He asked and I nodded.

"Okay, then. Call him. I'll go get an extra blanket."

He walked out of the room and I picked up my phone before dialing his number. I placed the phone to my ear before letting my head fall on to the pillow.

"Lynne?" Blake spoke immediately into the phone.

"Hey", I said as my voice came out a little groggy.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah"

"You don't sound alright." He said.

"I'm fine. Really."

"Lynne, I'm really sorry." He said, "I don't know what it is that I did. Is it the fight? Or telling you that I don't like seeing you with him? Or asking you about coming ov–"

"Blake", I called, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"But I did something to upset you. And I don't want to be the reason you're upset, Lynne. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Blake." I assured.

"So, you're not coming home? I'm kind of still waiting outside."

"I'm not." I said.

"Alright. I guess I'll go home then." He sighed.

"Maybe you can drive me home from school tomorrow. How does that sound?" I asked.

"That sounds great. I can't wait to see you tomorrow." He said and I smiled.

"Good night, Blake." I said softly.

"Good night." He wished back and I felt a flutter in my heart.

I hung up and pressed my eyes close, feeling the tears escape. My eyes snapped open when Asher opened the door and entered with a blanket in his hand. He handed it over to me, and I wrapped myself in it as he lowered himself next to me on the bed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"He sounded hurt." I said, "I wanted him to hurt like I did. But now I don't like it."

"It's fine. Feelings get hurt sometimes. You both will get over it."

"But I don't want to keep ️hurting him. I can't keep doing this, Asher."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to end things with him tomorrow."

Author's Note

Eeeek!!

Okay, question: How many of you are still shipping Caddy? I realized that most Caddy shippers just switched to Blynne. Lol bad timing guys.

Anyways, for all those people who read the author's note (I have no idea why you care about the shit I blabber), it's my 30th chapters and I'm doing another special thing.

Okay, so I'm gonna start with the backstory. Nasiim22 did something VERY horrible. She practically broke my heart. So, as a punishment, I started sending her Clake (Blake and Cole) smut through PMs. So, every time Blake and Addy have a heated scene, I changed it Cole and Blake and send it to her because she hates it. ❤️

But last time I did this (After Cole and Addy hooked up), she blackmailed me and told me never to send it to her again. So, I made the last Clake scene very special!!!

So, now that you've read all that bullshit, I'm gonna put it up here. This is gonna be limited. I'm gonna take it down after tonight because the Clake ship disgusts me!!!!! (Or maybe I'll keep it. Depends on my confidence by the end of tonight) [Update for whoever read this later on: I decided to keep it]

No, I'm not against LGBTQ. I mean, guys! Blake and Cole is just disgusting. Lmao

WARNING: This can be very mentally disturbing. ENJOY! (Even though the first part is exactly the same as the Cole and Addy kiss, the ending is different.)

"Hey," he said as soon as I opened the door, sounding a little confused as to why he was here.

Without any words, I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the living room. He gave me a puzzled look as I pushed him to the couch and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist.

"Blake, what are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm going to kiss you, Cole." I said before planting my lips on his. The moment I started kissing him, he put his hands on my face and pulled it away from him.

"Really? You're just going to kiss me?" He asked.

"No, we're going to do other things too." I smirked before dipping my head to the nape of his neck and sucking on his skin.

"Blake, this is sexual assault." He stated and I lifted my head with an eyeroll.

"It's not sexual assault if you give me consent."

"I didn't." He said.

"Why not though?" I asked him, "You're hot. I'm extremely hot. And we're both teenager who just want to have sex."

"No, you're a teenager who wants to have sex. I just want to go home and sleep." He said.

I groaned, "Why do you talk so much?"

"Well, last time we hooked up, you said that you were straight and that you never wanted to do that again." He said.

"So?"

"Blake, why are you doing this?" He asked me softly.

I got off him and plopped down on the couch before burying my head in my hands.

"Blake, what's wrong?" He asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I came out to my parents." I said in a low voice, looking up at him and his eyes widened.

"Uh.... m-meaning?" He asked.

"This is not the time to be dumb, Cole!" I scolded.

"A-Are you sure about you're into guys?" He asked.

"Cole, I've been hooking up with you for a while now. Of course, I'm into guys." (You know, cuz I sent her so many Clake smuts. This is not the first time they're hooking up.) 

He looked at me and I slowly brought my face closer to his.

"Blake, we shouldn't do this."

"Why not?" I asked, moving closer until our lips were brushing against each other.

"️What about Addy?" He asked.

"Don't worry about her." I said

I smirked when I saw the lust in his eyes and I climbed on his lip.

I took off my shirt and dropped it to the floor before crashing my lips against his. He immediately responded as he exerted a tight grip on my hairy manly waist. I tangled my hand in his hair and pulled on it harshly, making him groan into my mouth.

He pushed me off him and I felt my hairy manly back hit the couch as he hovered over me.

(Blake isn't really that hairy. But just to make it even weirder.......)

"You're not as shy as you seem." I smirked and he glared at me before his lips started attacking my neck.

I moaned and lifted my hips up to roll it with his, making him grind back as soft moans escaped from our mouths at the contact.

"Cole", I whimpered as he started nibbling on my hairy manly skin.

Then suddenly, a click of the door stopped everything. Our heads snapped towards Lynne who stood by the entrance with a terrifying look in his eyes.

"COLE! I will kill you!" She shouted. "I will drug you and get Kate to sexually assault you!"

"Please don't!" He said as he quickly got off from me.

"Cole, wait!" I shouted as he was about to leave the house.

"Let him leave, Blake!" Lynne ordered, "You don't need him. You have me." She said as she moved closer to me.

"Lynne, I-I love with Cole." I said and her eyes widened.

"W-What?!?!" She asked.

"You do?" Cole asked with a soft smile on his face.

"But I love you." Lynne said and I felt my heartbeat come to a stop.

"I-I love you too, Lynne." I whispered and Cole's smile fell.

"But I love you too, Cole." I said, "I'm so confused. I don't know what to do."

"You choose me. Your best friend." Lynne said

"No, you choose me. I was your best friend before her." Cole argued,

"But I love you!" Another voice called and my head snapped towards Terra who stood by the door.

"I love you, Blake." She said, "We're meant to be together! The nerd and the player."

"B-But I love you, Terra." Cole said and I felt my heart break.

"Y-You love her?" I asked, "B-But what about me?"

"I love you too, Blake. Just like you love Addy and me, I love you and Terra. I don't know what to do either."

"Then let's all keep fucking each other!" Lynne suggested.

"I love that. Lynne, you're a genius." I said, "This is why I love you."

"If Blake's happy, I'm happy." Cole grinned and I felt my heart melt.

"Aww, Cole! You're so cute!" I squealed

"NO!" Terra shouted, "Blake and Cole are mine! I will not share my boys with you." She snarled at Lynne.

"Can we kill her?" Lynne asked.

"Sure, as long as I get to keep you and Cole." I said.

"Same, I'm okay with anything as long as I have my Blakey Boy." Cole said and I gave him a smile.

"Then it's settled, we're killing Terra!" I cheered and Cole and Lynne agreed in joy.

RIP to Nasiim22's soul who had to read many of these. And also to my soul cuz I had to write this.

Gladly, I'm never writing this again. Nasiim, I'm actually thank you for blackmailing me! It has been weird writing this for you.

So, if you liked what you read (The chapter, not the Clake scene), vote.

If you want to keep reading (The book, not the Clake scene), add this to your library so you'll know when I update.

If you have absolutely anything to say, good or bad (About the book, not the Clake scene), feel free to comment and let me know.

And if you made it till the end, thank you for reading (Both the book and the Clake scene) and I love you so much!

Okay, have fun, enjoy life.

Signed,
Me