F o u r | Grievance Is A Fools Gamble
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"WHO EVEN NAMES THEIR CHILD THANATOS? It literally means death." The delirium in Joshua's voice rivals that of a child's realizing Santa isn't real.
Back against the soft mattress of the bed and feet dangling off its edge, I avert my gaze from the sapphire blue-the Shadow court's signature colour-ceiling towards my friend slouched on the couch at the far end of the room.
After Thanatos announced about the pristess-knew-who Master Manipulator, he simply declared since he'd answered my question, I was bound to answer his too. But because he was "bored" for the day, he'd ask tomorrow and until then we're free to stay in the castle.
It was a dumb choice to stay, dumber even to trust Thanatos, not that I did anyway. Yet I found myself agreeing.
Because this changes everything.
Four years we've been chasing down every information related to Thanatos and now there was a probability of a completely new pawn in this entire ordeal. Thanatos might or might not have killed Ryan. . . .
The uncertainty left me in tatters.
We'd been offered two rooms, one for me and the other for Joshua. Emerick and Esme had shown us to the rooms, the female seeming at the verge of massacring me for stabbing her master. Emerick, for his sake, just remained silent the whole time before the siblings left.
Which brings us to the present where Joshua had sneaked away from his room to lay like a paperweight on the couch of my room, hounding me with senseless questions.
"All of this mess and you're curious why he's named Thanatos? Really, Josh?" I pass him an incredulous look.
Joshua sighs, sitting up on his couch, "Look, Melly. I don't trust him. What if he's just lying about this master manipulator dude to trick us? I mean, what in the eggshell is even a psycho-kinetic?"
"I don't know either. I've never heard anything as such." I sigh, fixing my gaze back on the sapphire painted ceiling, "But then there are very few who know that I exist. I'm a mere legend to most. It's likely there are others who hid too, for reasons they deemed necessary. And if the master manipulator really does exist, if he's really connected with Lysander and Elian's captivity and Ryan's. . . ." I trail off, the next word clogging in my throat. I take a deep breath, release it, "Then Thanatos might be the only one who knows anything about him."
"Maybe Thanatos has some ulterior motive for keeping us here. Wait, he definitely does. On that note, why are we even staying here right now?"
I roll my eyes sarcastically, "Because we have to answer Thanatos' query."
Joshua groans, "Spare me the bullshit reasoning. I certainly don't want to get my throat fevicoled to the wall again. That man literally ate my powers back then! I had to put up a brave front. No, really, why are we here?"
I fought back an emerging smile at that, because like everytime, Joshua knew, "Because we're going to scurry a little and see if we find some information regarding whether all of this is even true and where Lys and Eli could be. We need to stall here for a few days, Josh. Then we'll figure out whether the master manipulator is really a new pawn or whether Thanatos is lying and he's behind all of this afterall. And if he is. . . ."
"Then we use this time to gather allies secretly and cunningly to capture Mr. Shadow King while the other time, we become the spies." Joshua muses, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips, "Sounds like a plan, your majesty."
I grab a pillow and chuck it at him, "Don't 'Your Majesty' me and get your hooves ready, we're starting spying tomorrow but we evaluate the surroundings tonight itself."
***
TONIGHT ARRIVES FASHIONABLY FAST as it turns out when we were pulled out from the shadow tunnel, it was already dusk.
Thanatos' castle stands tall on four storeys, stretched as wide as acres of lands. The endless passageways and numerous rooms create a fiction of a maze as Joshua and I navigate our way through the various shades of blue walls, dark interior and ancient artifacts.
"We just have to walk through the place and memorize the paths today. Let's just explore the castle while keeping a keen eye, alright?" I whisper to Joshua, who replies with an enthusiastic nod of his head.
There's a torch clasped in his hand and he'd pulled on some dark shady clothes after making a trip to his room earlier. It would help him blend well with the shadowy corners but I had no idea why he even needed it today.
Once we had scored around the first and ground floor, we walk up the velvet carpeted stairs leading to the second floor of the castle. There's a division of two wings here, both of them leading to opposite corridors.
I turn to the right one, "I'll go this way."
Joshua salutes, "Ayye, captain! I shall head the other way."
I pass him a stern look, "Be serious. Don't act suspicious if someone spots you. You're just exploring. If you mess up, I'm abandoning you here."
"Ouch, Melly. Ouch. So much for motivation." He places a hand to his heart in mock hurt.
I cross my arms in retort.
With a rather melodramatic assertion about 'no one giving him moral support', Joshua stalks off like a man on mission.
Without wasting my time, I turn to the right wing.
The rug beneath my sandaled feet is warm, matching the sapphire blue walls around me. There's no paintings or pictures hung anywhere in the entire castle and this wing isn't an exception to it-no indication of any family ties or people to look for.
Eyes accessing the number of rooms on this wing, noting the tally along with the count of my steps in case we were to navigate blind through the darkness, my fingers trail the corridors' silver-coated railing.
The castle is as silent as a graveyard, more silent than the one I visited frequently back in Crimson Isle. Ryan's grave.
I pause on my steps, trying my best not to succumb to the ache in my chest. Trying my best to not remember. To not wreck myself more with those memories, to not remind myself of those moments if I'd done things the other way, how the ending would've been different.
But like a bad dream always waiting to haunt you about a loss, the good ones always make the loss hurt more.
And they always stick with you.
▪︎¤▪︎
"Mama, can I go with you?" Lysander stood at the doorstep, a coy smile on his little mouth.
"You're staying in, Lys. You're already unwell. The last time I took you out on a snowy day, you were down with cold for a week." I cross my arms, attempting to carry his four-years-old tiny form and deposit him in his father's arms so he wouldn't follow.
Lysander wiggled out of the way before I could get hold of him and ran out the door, in the middle of hailing snow.
"Pretty pleaseeeeee." His big blue eyes were staring up at me in a stark imitation of a pup.
I bit back a smile, failing miserably at passing a stern look.
Winnowing, I caught the little guy before he could run off again and get himself sick, "You're staying in, you tiny thing."
Lys shrieked in my arms and pouted like the world's misery fell upon him while I carried him over to the cottage's door where Ryan stood smiling at us, baby Elian strapped to his back.
"Come here, you boy." He grabbed Lysander who with another sulking face my way, wrapped his small arms around his dad's neck and clung to him.
I ruffled Lys' hair, soft beneath my touch, "I'll take you next time when you're all good and healthy."
"Promise?" His eyes googled on me, such adoration in those little blue orbs, it warmed my heart.
"Yes, baby." I kissed his soft chubby cheek, then leaned in to kiss Ryan's cheek who turned his head last moment to kiss my lips instead.
I laughed at him, shoving all my men into the house, "Stay in like good men while I go do my work and return."
"As you command, wife." Ryan saluted.
Before the door could shut, Lys perked his head up to call out, "Mama?"
Eyes softening, "Yes, baby?" I ask.
"Come back soon. I'll be waiting for you." Lys leaned his small head on Ryan's shoulder, staring at me, "Goodbye, Mama."
"Goodbye, sweety."
▪︎¤▪︎
That day, if only I had taken Lysander with me.
If only I hadn't left them all behind. . . .
It's all my fault. How good is having all these powers when I couldn't save the ones who mattered the most? How good am I if wasn't there for them when they needed me the most?
Guilt and regret and pain pulled me down under the waves until I couldn't breath, couldn't think past those smiling faces and how they'd ended in tatters around me.
There was so much blood that day. So much pain that I wanted to-
"Nary an advice, grievance is a fool's gamble." A smooth, silken voice interrupts my dark thoughts.
Back straightening in stark alertness, I curse myself internally for not paying attention to the approaching footsteps.
Only to realize there hadn't been footsteps to begin with as out of thin air, a solid form metamorphs beside me, shadows swirling in his wake.
Clad in a black turtle neck sweater and dark jeans, Thanatos' impeccable height hovers a few feet above me. The black-blue-green mixture of his hair covers his forehead in a glorious mess as he leans over to rest his elbows on the silver railing, his face turning sideways to look at me.
His eyes, like that of two different people, meet mine and he smiles. A sparkling, full and obnoxious smile that reveals deep dimples.
For a brief moment, it makes him look like an angel. But he's the devil luring you in with charming smiles and sweetened lies to prey upon your soul.
My hands tighten on the railing, fury boiling my skin, because no matter what, he still might be the one to kill Ryan. I've hated him for so long, for so many years that to forget all about it in just a matter of hours, based on zero evidence, didn't seem possible. Besides, he might've not killed Ryan, but he'd still killed many. He'd still killed Emerick and Esme's parents.
It didn't make him less of a monster. Just like it didn't make me less of a monster when I'd recklessly. . . .
Brushing away the thought, my eyes coldly access him, "A person like you would say precisely that. Because why would you even grieve over someone when you don't even think twice before killing them? Does it ever even bother you?"
I shouldn't be testing his waters if I wanted to stay here to find information, God forbid I shouldn't even be talking to him. Least of all about my grief.
But there's something about that smiling face as if he isn't someone who is evil to his pores, as if he had never ruined anyone's life. It's irksome.
Thanatos raises a brow in momentary amusement before that smile widens, "Grievance is a fool's gamble." He says again, his eyes twinkling.
I face him, "You're sick."
Shut up, Mellisa. No, why should I?
That smile turns feline, "Accurate. But atleast I know grief is going to get me nowhere. You know what I'd suggest?"
I really didn't want to know, really didn't want to listen to the sound of his midnight voice more than I already had. Not that it stops him from saying,
"Turn grief into power, into motive and you could conquer the world. You could be indestructible." His eyes spark with a mysterious glint, "Be glad of your free reign and use it. Everyone's not as lucky."
My grip clenches over the railing until I feel them heat enough to ignite fire, "Not everyone wants to conquer the world." I grit out.
If Thanatos notices the rise in power, he doesn't show it. He tilts his head, glances at something past me even though I don't sense anything amiss.
It's seconds after when he retorts, his voice as midnight soft and sensual as ever, "One would think so. But last I heard, it's not true."
I hear the footsteps then, soft and sly-footed. Barely audible. Whoever it is, could be a great spy. Because if I didn't have the tripled senses I do, it would've been next to impossible to hear them approaching, even for a supernatural.
Turning around, Esme appears in my line of sight in all her stunning high-booted, leather-jacketed glory, her thick raven waves of hair wildly let loose.
She stops on her track the moment she spots me, quickly giving my form a soldier-like once-over as those startling grey eyes narrow into furious splits. Esme looks damnable ready to stab me.
I raise a questioning brow the same moment Thanatos says,
"Easy there, Esmeralda." He drawls, his eyes trained on me, "Darlin' here doesn't bite."
Esme-Esmeralda-still continues to glare at me, but when she averts her gaze to Thanatos, there's a fierce sense of loyalty and respect in them.
It leaves me stupefied. Does she not know what he did to her parents? Not that I knew much, but he still killed them. Does it not bother her?
"Master," She does a deep bow of her head, "I was here for the reminder."
If I hadn't been watching him so clinically, if I hadn't paid as much keen attention, I would've never caught the slight drop of his smile before he pushed it up a notch to conceal the hitch.
"Very well." Thanatos stands back straight on his feet, stretches his arms like a mountain cat.
Then in a flurry of a movement, he's in my space, grabbing my chin and tilting it upwards to meet his mismatched eyes, "Now you'll have to endure being parted from my delightful presence, darlin'. Until next time." He winks.
Before I can kick him away, he's dissapeared into a swirl of smoke and shadows.
It takes the last of the black mist to dissapear for Esme's stormy eyes to land on me with deadly precision, her voice dropping an octave, "You hurt him, and I'll hurt you."
There's an expression so feral on her face, promising undulated torture that it would've had the mightiest of warriors cowering.
It doesn't scare me but it sure does get me curious why she cares so much.
When I meet her challenging gaze, my smile is lethal, "If he has anything to do with my family, if he's involved in their torment in any way, I won't just hurt him." In a whoop of air, I'm in front of her, towering her by inches, "I'll end him."
With the vow out in the open, my powers slither up my arms winnowing me back to the confines of my room.
Enough. I've had enough for the day.
Falling back against the bed knowing Joshua will have the entire castle mapped out by tomorrow on his own either ways, his restless self re-checking even the places I navigated, I let my lids flutter close to succumb to the unwelcomed slumber.
All the while my mind puzzles through what reminder Esme might've given Thanatos.
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Any theories what the reminder is about?👀
Why do you think Esme cares so for Thanatos?👀
I think the romance in this story will go on a bit slow since there's so much drama happening along the way. But it'll be there, I promise💪
Also also, at this point of the story, Joshua is my favorite 💃
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