Eight years ago

Knock!

"Yes?" Asher made sure to not look away from the table in front of him even after he heard the creaking sound coming from the door as the older woman in a rather loose skirt suit walked in with a huge smile on her face, heading straight for the table she could clearly see him working and concentrating on.

"Sir, " she came to a stop, keeping her eyes only on him. "Your mother wants you to be downstairs to receive the guests beside her and your father. A lot of them have arrived already."

"Just one minute, I'm almost done."

For the first time since she got in, the really tall brunette turned slowly to the table so she could see all the mess he had made trying to make the wooden boats. She could see how there were paints and linen sails, nails and wood loitered on the huge table. She could see how he had already fixed the sail of one of them and was trying to do the same on the other. She held her breath and turned to him immediately.

"Sir," she had the most shock look on her face. Last she checked, he had only managed to carve the wood before Laura had tucked him in the night before. How on earth did he have the time to paint and fix everything else at such a short period of time? It was barely 10 AM and it looked like he was done with both boats. Did he stay up all night getting them fixed? Didn't he have any sleep?

"Just one moment Margaretha," Asher still had his eyes glued to the red boat in his hands. Just as his nanny had suspected, he had barely had enough sleep the night before trying to get the boats done. Anyone could see that he lacked sleep from the eye bags beneath his eyes. "I need to get them both ready in time. Xavier and Theodore asked me to come to the lake. They want to play sailors and pirates together. It's the first time since they got back from boarding school and I don't want to be late so they don't change their mind. I am going to surprise them with this."  He raised the red boat up so she could see it. "See?" The smile on his face grew wider, so wide and sincere that anyone would see how excited he was with the gifts he had preferred.

The lady let out a weak exhale.

Everyone admired how much Asher was dedicated to his older brothers, how fond of and extremely proud of them he was. He loved spending time with them and he easily didn't take any bad thing they did to him to heart. He was naive and always saw the good in people and that was what scared them all, that was what scared his mother because they all knew that his feelings were barely ever reciprocated. She lowered her eyes to the bandaids she had placed on his fingers to cover up all the little cuts he had sustained while making use of the nails the day before. How was he still able to work so diligently even when almost all his fingers were covered in bandaids.

"I can't wait to give it to them," he went on. "Do you think they would like it?"

The older lady retraced her eyes to his face.

"Sir Asher, if your mother ever finds out that I got these for you and let you play with them-"

"That's why you should never say a word to her, I wouldn't."

"Sir Asher, we still need to get you ready to meet with your father's guests. It's the first Christmas you'd be having with the family since your parents got married. Your father wants you to be there, it's a ritual. Everyone is dying to meet the newest member of the Coleman family."

"Done." Asher pulled the chair back immediately and stood up quickly, the smile on his face widening as he took a long look at both his creations. He was proud of them, proud of how perfect they were and it was obvious he was barely paying any attention to what the woman beside him was saying. He stopped following after her first three words. 

"I'm so sorry Margaretha." He quickly reached for his coat and started to put it on as quick as he could. There was no way he could get out without them, not with the freezing weather outside. He grabedthe boats immediately.

"Sir Asher,"

"Just thirty minutes," he told her. "I'd be back in thirty minutes I promise." He turned to leave and started to hurry towards the door without even listening to whatever it was the woman had to say.

"Sir Asher," she tried to hurry after him but Asher took too his heels immediately. He had to get away from her. He wasn't going to let her ruin his plans or stop him from being with his brothers. He had waited so much for them to return home and now that they were, he wasn't going to miss a chance to hang out with them. He always loved to.

For someone who had lived as an illegitimate child all his life, for someone who had lived with dreams of being a part of his family one day and finally being with his brothers and playing with them, Asher never missed a chance to have family time with Xavier and Theodore. It was Christmas anyway, and so far so good, he was getting all the wishes he had ever hoped for. He ran out of the house, watching his steps as he ran through the snow. Asher kept chuckling as he ran past the lawn, keeping his focus on the little wooden bridge in front of him, far from the house. He had even forgotten to cover his head and go with his scarf. He was that excited. Looking back at intervals to make sure he still wasn't chased by his nanny, Asher felt even more excited as he ran as fast as he could towards the abandoned swimming pool. There was some kind of construction going on but due to the snow, the men had had to leave it for another day, putting up visible "danger" signs to deter anyone from approaching closely. Asher didn't see the sign, he didn't also remember that his mother had specifically told him not to go there. He excitement simply tripled when he took sight of the two tall figures standing right in front of the freezing water. He couldn't see so much, but from what he could see, it looked like they were having a conversation without him.

"Do it." Theodore passed the metal back to Xavier, keeping his voice as low as possible and looking around to make sure no one was watching. Xavier looked way scared than Theodore was. His heart was racing as he took a step closer to Theodore, taking the metal away from him carefully.

"I don't want to." Xavier whispered to him. "I'm scared Theodore."

"What are you so scared of? It has to be done. Stop whining like a girl."

"We could get into a lot of trouble. Dad is going to be so furious."

"No one is going to know we did it. That's why we agreed to let him do it himself didn't we?"

"We are not even sure he'd agree to it. He's not that stupid-"

"He's still a child. Dad hasn't thought him what it is yet. If we tell him it's a game, he'd do whatever we tell him to."

Xavier's heart was racing. Anyone could see how scared and uncomfortable he was especially being in possession with the heavy metal under his trembling hands. He shook his head.

"No," he hurriedly hit the metal on Theodore's side. "You do it. You know how I feel about guns."

Theodore rolled his eyes in frustration. He couldn't believe how back and forth he had to go with his twin. Xavier had never really been the brave one anyway. He was about to say something when-

"He's coming." Xavier cut him off the moment he noticed a little figure running towards them through the snow from the little bridge. He could see the happy look on his face as Asher got even closer. Theodore cleared his throat quickly, hiding the gun immediately into his coat before Asher got close.

"What do we do?" Xavier asked anxiously.

"Just do as we practiced." Theodore reminded him. "don't say or do anything out of line." Xavier nodded. He understood perfectly. He watched Theodore tug his scarf nervously as Asher approached them, he turned to Asher too.

"Theodore!" Asher hugged him first, jumping on him as tightly as he could but being careful with the toy boats in both his hands. He hugged Theodore tightly but Theodore just stood still, not bothering to hug him back. How could he when he had one hand hiding a gun in his coat. Asher turned to Xavier too.

"Xavier!" He did the same to Xavier, hugging him even tighter than he did Theodore, shutting his eyes so he could absorb the excitement he felt. He had been waiting for that moment all month. It hadn't been long since he and his mother moved to the mansion but he already established a bond with his brothers. He looked up to them so much and enjoyed being around them. He was happy to at least have older brothers, to have another family besides his mother and father.

"I've missed you both so much. I wanted to see you two on your visiting Day but Dad said it was better I didn't because you were both busy with school." Xavier faked a smile on his extremely nervous face. He slowly raised his hand to Ashers arm and pulled him away from him gently, causing Asher to open his eyes, his smile not wavering for one bit. He looked at Theodore who just stared at him with a huge frown on his face. It didn't look like he was so excited to see him, Asher turned to Xavier, even though he tried so hard to reciprocate the smile on Asher's face, Asher could almost tell how he hated to. That was weird, really weird.

"Look," Asher raised the boats in the air so they could see it. "I made boats we could play with." He stretched the blue one to Xavier, Xavier reached for it slowly. "Blue for Xavier because it's his favorite," he stretched the red to Theodore. "And red for Theodore." Theodore took it. "I asked Mr Lorry to teach me how to make those. It was hard work but I eventually got a hang of it." He said as he watched how Theodore examined his. "It's a bit tacky but I'm sure I'd do better next time."

Theodore drew a deep breath and raised his head to look at Asher.

"How about we play another game?" Asher slowly turned to face him. Another game? They didn't want to play with the boats?

"The paints are yet to dry." Xavier went on, raising his hands a bit so he could show Asher the paint stains on his fingers. Asher slowly turned to his fingers. He had even forgotten to come out with his gloves. It was no wonder he was already freezing. He could see the red and blue paints on his fingers too. He chuckled nervously.

"I must have been in a lot of hurry to get here that I didn't notice."

"It's okay." Theodore added, "you're lucky Xavier thought of something more fun."

Asher turned to Xavier immediately just as Xavier turned to Theodore. That wasn't a part of the plan. How was he trying to pin it on him?

"You did?" Asher's face brightened up. Now he was anxious to know what game it was. Was it really fun? "What is it?"
Xavier slowly turned to him. He exhaled. He really didn't want to be the one to do it.

"I-I-it's-"

"It's a game we really want to play." Theodore cut him off just as Asher slowly turned to him. "And we chose to play it with you. You have to do everything we ask you to or it won't be fun anymore."

"Sure." Asher couldn't wait. He couldn't wait to know what the game was. He watched how Theodore exchanged glances with Xavier. He had to be sure they were on the same page. Xavier exhaled and looked away just as Theodore slowly got out the gun from his coat.

"Here." He stretched it to Asher causing Asher to lower his gaze to it, the smile on his face slowly starting to waver when he saw the metal being pointed at him.

"I-is that?"

Xavier turned to him immediately.

"Do you know what it is?" Xavier asked him. "Has father thought you how to use it yet or told you what it could do?"

Asher furrowed his brows. He couldn't even bring himself to say anything. He could recognize the gun immediately, it belonged to their father. How on earth did they even have access to it? Theodore turned it around so Asher could take it by its grip.

"Take it." Asher raised his gaze to Theodore immediately he heard how cold and demanding his voice had become. He had no idea when he swallowed hard and then slowly began to reach for the gun on impulse. He heard the instruction loud and clear. He wasn't supposed to stall and he was supposed to do everything they asked him to do or they were never going to play with him anymore.

"To play this game with us," Xavier added. "You can't hesitate remember. We are going to take turns, you're going to go first and then me, and then Theodore."

Asher was still trying to understand the point of it. He was still waiting for them to explain the fun in this game they wanted to play. For all he knew, he was scared already, really scared. Even though his father had promised to teach him how to use one when he was old enough, his mother had told him that things like that were dangerous and he wasn't supposed to touch them let alone play with them.

"The game is going to go like this." Theodore bent over so he could look Asher in the eye as he spoke to him. "Xavier and I, we are going to run across the bridge and hide somewhere and after five seconds, I need you to take this gun to your head, make sure that this part of it right here," he pointed at the Muzzle. "Faces this part of your skull." He pointed at the side of Asher's head. "And then once you do that, I want you to place your finger here," he pointed at the trigger just as Asher watched him attentively "and pull it."

Asher froze. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe his ears to the extent that he found his hands trembling and tears welling up in his eyes.

"And once you do, you can come find us. Whoever you find first, gets to do the same." Xavier added. "It's just going to be like sailors and pirates all over again. It'd be fun."

"B-but if I do this, I could get hurt." Asher said in almost a whisper.

"Get hurt?" Xavier bent over immediately just as Theodore rolled his eyes. He was stalling and that was what he didn't want. "This can't hurt you Asher, it's not even real. It's barely even loaded. It's just because Dad hasn't taught you how to use it yet. This doesn't hurt people. It just makes them...numb for a while-"

Asher reached for the cylinder immediately and rolled it open. His eyes widened when they met the metal bullets in them. It wasn't real? Asher knew he didn't know much about guns but at least he knew something from sneaking into his father's training ground and watching him. He knew every part of a gun and could tell a real one from a fake, even for a nine year old. He wasn't as stupid as they thought he was. He raised his head to them.

"These are live bullets." He tilted the gun to the side and examined it. "It's not even on safety."

Xavier scoffed as he stood straight while Theodore had his eyes glued to Asher. It looked like they were wrong about him. He really did know a lot about guns. Asher glared at him right back.

"I told you." Xavier said with his voice trembling. "I told you not to underestimate him, I told you this was a bad idea." Now he was talking to Theodore but Theodore just kept exchanging glares with Asher. "Now look. What if he reports us to Dad? Dad's going to freak when he finds out what we did, when he finds out we stole his gun." Xavier was trembling. He was scared and anyone could see that.

"Dad thought you how to shoot?" Theodore asked him.

"No." Asher said, sounding even more fierce now. "I watched him." After what had just happened, everything was slowly becoming clearer to him. It was like the veil had left his eyes. He turned to Xavier who had his hands on his hips, struggling for breath and then turned back to Theodore.

"Were you both trying to kill me? To get me to kill myself?"

Xavier turned to him immediately. He scoffed and forced a smile on his face.

"K-k-kill you?" He took quick steps to him. "Of course not. We would never do that." He tried to sound convincing but Asher wasn't convinced. Xavier grabbed his arm immediately, squeezing it as tightly as he could. He was just too scared and nervous to be still. "Y-you can't tell anyone about this-"

Asher narrowed his gaze on him. Was that it? Was that all they were going to say? Ask him not to tell anyone?

"Dad can never know what just happened-"

"That you tried to kill me?"

Xavier shut his eyes in frustration in an attempt to explain again.

"I already told you-that wasn't what we were trying to do-"

"So what?"

Asher slowly turned to Theodore who just kept glaring at him, more disappointed than scared. Xavier too. He was shocked at his response.

"So what if we tried to kill you?"

"Theo?"

Asher could feel his heart breaking apart but he managed to keep his eyes glued to Theodore. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He hoped that it was a dream but it wasn't. He took a deep breath, trying to stop his hands from trembling so much. He was so dumbfounded at first but he found the strength to speak.

"Why?" Asher asked him. "what wrong did I do? Why do I deserve to die?" Theodore stood straight immediately just as Asher started to lash back.

"Asher, Shh." Xavier stepped forward in an attempt to get Asher to stop being so loud before someone heard them.

"What did I ever do to you? Why must I die?" Now Asher was angry. They could see it. "All I've ever done is be nice to you both and be the best younger brother that I can so why!"

Theodore's scoff brought Asher to an abrupt silence as he glared at him while he laughed.

"What?" Theodore asked him. "Nice to us? A brother to us? Who on earth gave you the slightest thought that you could be anything to us?"

Xavier exhaled weakly just as Asher stood still, too numb to move.

"You must be delusional to even think that there was a chance in hell for us to want to play this stupid game with you," Theodore reached for Xavier's boat immediately and threw it on the ground with his. He started to step on them as hard as his could with intentions to destroy them. He actually was while Asher just stood there with his eyes opened wide, staring at what was becoming of his three-days- efforts. He couldn't believe it.

"Talk more of thinking of you as someone worthy enough to be anything to us." Theodore stopped and looked at him while Asher scoffed, his cold and visible breath mixing with the air. "A little brother? How can the son of a prostitute be our brother?"

Asher slowly raised his head to him. He had lots of tears in his eyes now.

"We know what you and that mother of yours are trying to do. Ever since you two got here, you've both tried to take everything from us. Everything that used to belong to our mother-"

"That's not true. My mother and I have never taken anything from you."

Theodore took a step towards him.

"Then why are you here? Why did you come here with your mother? Isn't what you both did enough? Isn't the fact that your low-life mother seduced our father even when she knew he was married to our mother enough? Even when she knew our mother was sick and fighting for her life at that hospital? Why did you have to come here? Why did you have to show your face here and try to steal from us? Who said you could?"

He kept taking a step to Asher while Asher kept taking two backwards. He was scared, anyone could see how scared he was especially since Theodore was glaring at him like that.

"People like you and your mother," Theodore pushed  his shoulder hard, causing him to stagger back a bit. "You're nothing but leeches." He pushed him again. "Always waiting for someone to do all the hard work and then squeezing your way in like worms." He pushed Asher again while Asher kept struggling to stand firmly on his feet, taking even faster steps backwards, backing the pool without any idea of how close he was getting to it. A drop of tear fell from Asher's eyes as he slowly look a glance back. He was close to it, to the swimming pool.

"Theodore." He quickly turned back to Theodore. He was frightened, too scared of getting into the pool. "Theodore, I get what you're trying to say and I promise, I won't tell anyone about what happened today. I won't tell my mother or father, I promise. Let's just, let's just get away from the lake. "

Theodore narrowed his gaze on him.

"You think I'm scared of that harlot mother of yours? What could she possibly do to me?"

Asher turned back to the swimming pool. He could see how freezing it was just by looking at it. He couldn't afford to get in. There was no way he was ever going to get out. He couldn't even swim yet. Now he was scared, really really scared. He turned back to Theodore, another tear dropping from his face.

"Brother please. I'm scared."

"Brother?" Theodore scoffed taking another step to him while Asher took one last step back. "There's no way in this life or in your next you can ever be anything to me." Theodore placed a finger on his head and pushed it slightly. "If anything, I want you gone. I want you dead!" Theodore gave him one last hard push that took him off balance immediately. Missing a step and without being able to grip on to anything to save himself, Asher fell into the cold water immediately.

"Theodore!" Xavier rushed to him immediately just as Theodore took two steps back in shock at what he had just done.

"Help," Asher struggled to breathe as he tried to keep his head above the freezing water, taking a lot into his mouth. It was hard doing anything considering how cold the pool was. "Help me please!"

He was drowning.

"He's drowning." Xavier said to Theodore who just stood there, watching. "We can't just leave him there Theo, he doesn't know how to swim. We have to do something to save him."

"Help me please!" Asher kept sticking his hands out and calling for help, taking more water into his lungs as he did. He couldn't breathe, he was finding it so hard to when his head kept going in and out of the water at intervals. His legs were getting so weak and cold too and it was like his insides were slowly turning into ice. He was scared. He raised his head out of the water and could see how they just stood there, staring at him. Why weren't they doing anything? Why weren't they trying to help him?

"Xavier! Theodore!" His head went into the water again.

"Theo!" Xavier called Theodore.

"This is it." Theodore said without taking his eyes off the lake. "This was what we wanted."

"What?"

"This way, no one would ever suspect it was us. We can't save him. We shouldn't."

Xavier swallowed hard.

"With him gone out of the way, Dad would have no other reason to keep that prostitute by his side. We won't have any competition either. With him out of the way, everything would go back to normal."

"Theo,"

"We should get out of here before someone sees us."

"Brothers please!" Asher's head went into the water again. It was so hard, it was so hard struggling. He raised his head one last time and could see how Theodore and Xavier had turned and started to run away from the lake. They were leaving him, they were leaving him behind. "I'm scared. Help me, I don't want to die please."

He was cold, very cold. It was like the depths of him was freezing and what was worse was the water forcing itself into his lungs from both his nose and mouth, stopping him from breathing, from speaking. He was drowning, he was dying and there was no one there to save him. He was exhausted.

"Asher!" He slowly shut his eyes.

"Mum, Mum I don't want to die, help me."

"Asher, Asher wake up." Aubrey's hands were trembling as she kept shaking him. She couldn't bring him to open his eyes no matter how she tried. He was having a nightmare, a scary one seeing that he kept whispering the same words over and over again. He was sweating a lot too, even with the air conditioner on. She was scared, really scared. She didn't know what to do.

"Asher please, you have to wake up!"

"Save me, I'm scared, mum, mum I'm so scared." Tears kept falling from his eyes over and over again and she could see it even as she kept shaking him and trying to wake him.

"Asher! Asher please!"

"Help me, help me." His breathing was faster, scarier. "I don't want to die, I don't want to die-"

Aubrey was trembling. She was already in tears too just like him and too confused to do anything. She just kept shaking and shaking him till she was out of energy to.

"I'm so cold,."

She sniffed.

"Asher," she said in almost a whisper.

"Help me!" Asher gasped for air and raised himself from the couch immediately, giving Aubrey quite a scare. He had his hand on his chest, hitting it over and over again like he was trying to force air right into it, he couldn't breathe, he felt like he was drowning, like he was dying. He wouldn't stop crying as hard as he could. His heart was hurting like someone had pierced it with a knife. It was pain. What he felt was pain just like every other night he had one of those nightmares. He was hurting. He kept hitting his chest to force air in, his hands trembling as he did. He was terrified, extremely.

Aubrey leaned closer to him.

"Asher," she didn't even bother to clean the tears on her face. "Asher, are you alright?"

He turned to her immediately and with shock too. He wasn't alone. He couldn't barely see her clearly with the tears in his eyes blurring his vision.

"Can you talk?" Aubrey's voice broke as she leaned closer to him. He was still crying and it was obvious he had given her quite a scare. "Are you okay?"

Asher wrapped his hand around her and pulled her to him immediately. He hugged her as tightly as he could, not daring to let go. He was so terrified, too scared to not hold on to something or someone.

"Asher," she whispered as he pulled her even tighter to him, gasping for air as he cried on her shoulders. He didn't let go, he couldn't let go. Aubrey slowly raised her hand to his back. She knew he needed her, he needed someone. She had to be there for him.

She patted him softly to calm him.

"You're okay." She let out a relief exhale. "You're fine now. You're going to be okay."