A/N: I hope you all had a great weekend! I know I did! 😜🍾

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"Crystal, come on in." I cringed at my own name, feeling like beetles had crawled under my skin.

"Don't call me that." I said before my brain processed it.

"You told me to." He responded and I immediately felt like an idiot. Trying to pretend like nothing happened, I walked past him and into his house. I heard the door click shut behind me as I took in my surroundings. I had been here more times than I could count but for some reason, it felt so foreign now.

He walked past me and I followed him into the kitchen. I sat down at the table awkwardly. The image of Declan and Nikki kissing flashed through my mind. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to recover from the nasty memory. I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at him. My hands started to shake as I thought about having to confront him.

"Can I get you something to drink?" He asked and I shook my head. He sat down across from me and our eyes locked on each other.

"Tell me what really happened. All of it." I said, feeling my confidence return.

"Are sure you're ready for this?"

"No, but I need to hear it and I need to hear it now."

"Ok...I guess I'll start with the very beginning. I lied to you when I said that I didn't know why your dad showed up. He wanted to tell you that Nikki is on drugs. She's be-"

"Wait, what?!" I felt my throat close up and tears threaten my eyes.

"When your mom passed, she went out of control. She met...a girl and started doing crack."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, feeling my voice quiver.

"I was trying to protect you. I thought that if I helped Nikki get her life together, then you wouldn't have to know about it. You've already been through so much this last month, I was worried about you."

"That girl that she's living with, is she the one that's dealing to her?"

"Yes...and she's also my ex-girlfriend." My eyes went wide and my breath caught in my throat.

"What?"

"Kate found out that I was dating someone and she got jealous, I'm assuming, and decided to move back here. She met Nikki at a bar and started putting the pieces together and figured out that she was your sister. She manipulated Nikki into starting drugs and then persuaded her to try to take me away from you." He took a deep breath and I watched him, unable to speak anymore. "Yesterday, when you came over, she was trying to make me break up with you but when I told her I would never do that, she got angry. As a last ditch effort, she leaned over and kissed me...that's when you walked in."

"Why didn't you pull away?" This question, out of all of the ones rushing through my mind, was the one that had been killing me.

"I was in shock. I didn't even realize what was happening until it was too late...I'm sorry, Crystal. I'm so sorry." I clenched my sweaty hands into fists.

"I have to go." I whispered and then stood up. My legs wobbled underneath me and the room started spinning. My body collapsed underneath of me but something caught me instead of hitting the ground. I looked up to see Declan's mismatched eyes looking down at me before vision became darker and darker until my whole world went black.

*~*

'Crystal, Nikki, I will be back soon, alright?'

'You promise, daddy?' I asked, trying not to cry. Daddy's eyes looked sad.

'Yes, hunny, I promise.' I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him tightly.

'I love you, daddy!' I said through my sobbing.

'I love you, too, baby." He pulled my arms off of him and then smiled at me.

'Goodbye, girls. I will miss you both so much.' He walked out the front door but didn't close it before I saw a girl run up to him and hug him. Daddy laughed and hugged her back as he closed the door. My tears streamed down my face when I looked over at Nikki. She was in a ball on the floor, sobbing into her knees. I wiped up my tears and sniffed once more before kneeling down in front of her.

'It's ok, sissy. He said he'll be back. So don't cry." I comforted her. I looked up to see mommy crying really hard at the kitchen table. My heart started to beat fast when I realized that he had lied.

Daddy was never coming back.

*~*

I felt a hand on my forehead, waking me from my dark dreams. I blinked a few times before I realized I was in Declan's bedroom. I looked over to see him sitting beside the bed, focusing on me. He pulled his hand away and I slowly sat up, rubbing my aching head.

"What happened?" I asked. I felt like I had a hangover with the aching headache and nausea that filled my body.

"You passed out." Memories of everything that had happened the last couple days came flooding back to me.

"How long have I been out?"

"Just a few minutes." We sat in an awkward silence for a while after that. I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know how I felt.

"Crysta-"

"Stop." I closed my eyes tightly, trying to wish away the pain. I wanted to tell him that I couldn't bear to hear him say my name again. I wanted to tell him to call me Goldi. But I couldn't. My pride was already so wounded.

"Please say something." I opened my eyes and looked up at him, our gazes meeting and focusing in on each other. Something in the pit of my stomach just wouldn't go away.

Would I ever be able to forgive him?

"I don't know what to say, Declan." I whispered.

"I need to know where we are at." My heart skipped a beat from his words.

"I...I need some time to think."

"Alright, take as much time as you need. I'll be waiting for you. I will wait for you forever if I have to." Tears welled up in my eyes and I blinked them away.

Why did this all have to happen?

"Have you talked to Nikki?" I asked.

"The last time I saw her was yesterday when I yelled at her."

"You yelled at her?"

"Kinda...yeah. I knew as soon as you left that she did it on purpose. I asked her why she would do this to you."

"What did she say?"

"She said she was still angry with you because she thinks you killed your mom." A few tears overflowed and I couldn't hold back anymore.

"How could she do this to me? I understand that she's mad but...this is so evil."

"She's not in her right mind. She's on drugs. And she has the devil whispering in her ear."

"The devil?"

"Kate."

"Oh." An awkward silence ensued once more. I wanted so badly to just let Declan wrap me up in his arms and comfort me. I wanted to let him tell me everything was going to be ok. I wanted to forget that any of this ever happened.

"I just want to be happy." I whispered.

"Then do whatever will make you happy. Don't worry about me or Nikki or anyone else right now. Just focus on you and figure out what you want. When you do, come find me." He reached out and wrapped my hand in his. I nodded through my tears and stood up.

"Let me take you back to the dorms. You shouldn't drive right now." He said softly.

"Ok."

As he drove me back in my car, I couldn't help but keep glancing over at him. He was concentrated on the road but I could tell by the tension in his jaw that he was upset. I knew he wanted to say so much more than what he had. Hell, I wanted to say so much more. But there was an unspoken agreement that neither of us would say another word to each other until I decided what I wanted. My heart was pounding harder and faster with every minute that we sat in that car.

Once he parked and we got out, I realized he had no way of getting home now.

"Um, Declan, how are you gonna get back?" I asked.

"I texted Grant. He's visiting Bridget so he's going to drive me home." He explained while avoiding eye contact with me.

"Oh...ok." I started walking away from him and towards the dorm building when he grabbed my hand, making me come to a halt.

"Crystal." My breath caught in my throat and tears immediately came to my eyes. I closed them tightly and lowered my head so no one would see that I was crying.

"Please let go of my hand." I whispered. His warmth left me and I instantly regretted my words.

Even now, all I want is for him to touch me, to hold me and to comfort me.

"I'm sorry." He said before I heard a high pitched squeal. I looked up to see a girl I recognized as one that lives in the dorms.

"Declan! Declan Murphy!" She screamed and ran right up to him. I watched the exchange in disbelief.

"Ah, hi." He said awkwardly.

"I'm such a big fan! Crystal, you know him?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

Because we don't talk?

"Oh, uh, sorry?" I offered, a little taken aback.

"Introduce us!" She commanded. I glanced at Declan to seem him staring at me with a sympathetic gaze. I turned my attention back to the girl, trying to remember her name.

"Declan, this is Mercedes. She lives a couple rooms down from me." I said quickly and then started walking away again. I faintly heard their conversation continue.

"Do you want to exchange numbers?" She asked.

"Oh, I try not to give my number out to fans."

"Alright, then maybe you just want to hang out sometime?" I walked quickly inside the building before I heard him answer. I took a deep breath and looked down at my feet. My hands were shaking and my breathing was becoming heavier.

This feeling...it's just like when I was in the morgue.

I shook my head fiercely, trying to make all of the emotions stop. I wanted to become numb again.

I can't take this anymore!

I ran up to my room and when I saw that Isabel wasn't there, I went in the bathroom and turned on the shower. I got in and let the scalding hot water pelt my back as tears streamed down my face.

Why?

Why did this have to happen?

My tears finally stopped after a while and I turned the water off. I got out and wrapped myself in a towel without drying off. I walked back in the room and plopped down on my bed.

I'm done.

I just can't take anymore of this.

Even if I got back together with Declan, something else would certainly happen. It always did. I have no other choice.

I have to end things with him once and for all.