Crystal's POV

Declan drove as we sat in silence. I stared out the window, trying to sort out all of my feelings.

Seeing my dad for the first time since he left us so long ago felt surreal. It was like a nightmare that I had never thought would actually happen. I had thought that if I ever saw him again that all I would feel was anger but...my stomach turned as I closed my eyes tightly, holding back the tears that threatened dot overflow once again.

Why was seeing him so painful?

I thought I had moved past this but looking into the eyes that I had inherited brought up all of the feelings that I had worked so hard to push down inside of me.

The car came to a stop and I realized we had already arrived back at the dorms. I made no move to get out.

I felt weak and I hated myself for it. I had trained day in and day out so that I would be strong and within just a few minutes, I was brought all the way back to being that scared little girl I was when he left.

My door opened and I looked up to see Declan. I quickly averted my eyes to the ground and got out. I was so humiliated. I let everyone see me at my lowest point.

Bridget, Grant, Ray, and Bailey...

I was brought back for a moment to what Bailey had said the night before.

"You were always strong, Crystal. And I've looked up to you for that...but I think I admire you now more than ever."

I cringed at the memory and I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I was sure she was disappointed in me and she probably regretted what she said now.

Declan took my hand and walked me up to my room. When we walked in, I noticed my roommate sitting at her desk. She smiled and waved at us but then quickly when back to her books. I turned around in the doorway, ready to run away. I didn't know where I would go but I had to get out of here. I couldn't let anyone else see me like this.

"Goldi?" Declan's voice brought me to look at him.

"Can we go to your house?" I squeaked out.

Gosh, I sounded pathetic.

Hell, I FELT pathetic.

"Of course." His voice was soft and comforting, the way it always was when he talked to me. He never ceased to amaze me with his endless patience. He really was my own personal light shining at the end of my dark tunnel.

After we had driven and pulled up to his house, I looked over at him. He shut the vehicle off and then turned to me, his eyes filled with concern.

"Thank you." My voice cracked and I felt my eyes water again.

How was it possible to still have tears? I swore if it was possible to run out, I certainly should have at that point.

"I would do anything for you, Goldi. You don't have to thank me." He gave me a sad smile and then grabbed my hand in his. His warmth was undeniable as it soaked into the tips of my fingers and crept up my arm and encased my whole body.

"I...I worked so hard, Declan...how can he still break me when I worked so hard to make sure it wouldn't happen?" I asked desperately. His eyebrows furrowed as if my pain was his own.

"I wish I knew the answer to that. But there's one thing I do know. You're not alone this time, you have me. You can depend on me and I will help you through this. I promise you that." His words have given me the smallest bit of strength despite my weariness.

After we got inside, Declan cooked dinner and we sat down at the table. We are in silence and when I was done, I brought my plate over and put it in the sink. I looked up and saw a picture of Declan and I hung up with a beautiful silver frame. I had my legs wrapped around his hips and we were staring at each other intensely, not even noticing the camera. I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"This was from last night." I said softly as I stared at the picture.

"Yeah, Bridget took it. After she sent it to me, I couldn't help but print it right away this morning and hang it up." I couldn't take my eyes off of the picture. We looked so happy, so in love and so...fearless.

"I wish I could go back to that moment and stay there." I whispered. I felt Declan's arms wrap around my waist from behind and his chin rest on my shoulder.

"You wanna watch a movie?" His warm breath on my neck made me shiver.

"Sure, let's go pick one of your chick flicks." I prodded and I let a small smile slip onto my lips. He sighed and then kissed my bare shoulder.

"Your never going to let me live that down, are you?" He asked softly, and my stomach flip flopped as his lips pressed to my skin again.

"Nope!" I said quickly and then shrunk out of his grasp, darting towards the living room. Once I safely made it to the couch, I flipped down and rested my eyes for a moment.

A small part of me still wanted to know why the hell my dad even showed up. Why did he care that my mom died? Why did he feel like he needed to show up? Did he really like to torture me that much?

I sighed and then opened my eyes to see Declan picking out a movie and popping it in the DVD player.

"Are you ready for the best movie ever made?" The seriousness in his voice would have made me burst into laughter if I hadn't just re-encountered my dad two hours ago.

"And what movie would that be?" I asked.

"You know the deal, you have to just wait and see." He said and then sat down on the end of the couch and scooped my feet into his lap as he propped his own on the coffee table.

"Yeah, yeah. You're so mysterious." I commented sarcastically.

"You're just jealous I have so many great movies on blue ray." He said and winked at me.

"So jealous!"

I was really laying on the sarcasm.

As soon as the movie started to play, I started laughing hysterically.

"Legally Blonde?! That's the best movie ever?!" He leaned in close to me and got inches away from my face. I immediately stilled under his intense gaze.

"What are you trying to say?" He was so serious, I start giggling.

"I'm saying, you are a little too obsessed with chick flicks." He smirked slightly as I smiled innocently at him.

"I don't think chick flicks are my obsession." He said softly as he stared at my lips. I was suddenly much too aware of how close our bodies were with him hovering over me. He slowly closed the gap between us until our lips touched.

His kiss was filled with sweetness and comfort as if he were putting all of his feelings towards me into this one moment. I eagerly returned it with tears coming to my eyes. I couldn't help but be brought back to the moment that our first kiss was ruined by my father.

I pulled away slightly and fought back the tears. I didn't want him to think I was going to do this every time we kissed now.

"Goldi?" I opened my eyes to see his eyes filled with confusion and worry.

"Sorry." I whispered. He cupped my cheek with one hand and kissed my cheek.

"No, I'm sorry. It was too soon after what happened." He said and then back up and say back down on the end of the couch, focusing on the movie. Guilt washed over me because I really wanted to enjoy kissing Declan but as with everything in my life, something had to ruin it.

After thinking for a moment longer, I made my way over to Declan. He didn't seem to notice as I slowly got closer and closer to him. I moved so I could lay my head on his lap. He laid his hand on my shoulder and rubbed small circles into my skin with his thumb.

"Declan?" I breathed his name before I knew what I was doing.

"Yeah?"

"What did he say to you?" I asked, not really thinking about what I was saying.

"He just wanted to make sure you and Nikki were ok." He answered.

"...that was it?" I wasn't really sure what I was expecting but for some reason, I couldn't help but feel disappointed that he didn't want back in my life. I wouldn't have let him in even if he had but still...I couldn't help wishing that he missed me.

I mean, who doesn't want to feel wanted, right?

"Yeah, that was it." He answered. I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to hold myself together. I didn't want Declan to know that even after everything my father did to me, I still couldn't fully let go.

"It's ok, you know." His sudden voice made me look up at his face. "You don't have to be strong in front of me. Let your guard down. Say what you wanna say and don't hold back." My lip quivered before I can undone in his lap. He swept me up into his arms like he always did when I cried. This position that we took had become routine. He knew exactly what I needed and how to give it to me.

My bright light.

"Declan, I thought I was strong but I'm not! I'm weak! I'm pathetic! No matter how hard I try, I'm still that scared little girl! Why can I be who I want to be?!" I sobbed into his chest as he held me and rubbed my back soothingly.

"You ARE strong, Goldi. You're the strongest woman I know. Any other person wouldn't have survived like you did. You overcame your dad leaving. You took care of your younger sister. You took care of your mother, who should have been taking care of you." He stopped talking for a moment and cupped my face with his hands, making me look him in the eyes. My tears subsided as I looked into his mismatched iris's. "You are perfectly you, Goldi. And I love YOU." He gave me a small smile and kissed my nose.

In that moment, he took away all of my worries, all of my pain, and all of my confusion. It was just him and I as he enveloped me in his warmth. I leaned in slowly and closed my eyes. Our lips touched and electricity shot through me. His soft lips massaged my own as our emotions flooded into each other. All of our love and passion for each other flowed between the two of us.

My whole body set afire through his touch and I gladly welcomed it.

I would let him burn down my Forrest.

I would start anew and with this man by my side, I would make a life for myself that I didn't even know could exist.