The few weeks TJ has been gone, Jordan wouldn't eat, he barely slept, his control was slipping, he was in constant pain. His wolf would howl in pain, his cries at night made it hard for people to sleep.

 It's now been a month since TJ was taken, his eating has gotten worse, sleeping didn't happen unless he gave control to his wolf, which happened more than Luna liked. His control had gotten worse, he was prone to snapping or going mid transition randomly throughout the day. And full moons were dangerous even for James to be near the young alpha. Slaughtered animals were a common thing to clean up for Oliver and Jeremiah. James was worried about the alpha, the signs were there, and no one wanted to see them; Jordan White was losing his humanity.

Jordan currently sat in the living room not moving or responding to much, he was practically catatonic. 

     "Jor, you need to come eat." James said softly, trying to coax him into eating, he was the only one to ever get a response from Jordan anymore. 

    "Not hungry." He looked down, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes, all they showed was pity, worry and at times fear.

     "Jordan. I know it hurts, but you need to eat. Not taking care of yourself will only hurt you worse, and we need you in full condition for when we find them. They will need you to be in perfect health so you can take care of them." Luna told the young grieving alpha.

     "I'm not hungry!" He yelled, his chocolate brown eyes flashing bright blue, fangs flashing before hiding away again. 

    "Jordan! Not eating, not sleeping, is not going to help you find TJ." Jordan looked down trying to hide his tears from everyone. Hearing their name was hard enough, he knew not eating or sleeping was not helping, but he couldn't bring himself to do either. 

    "Jor, I know it hurts, but you can feel them, right?" Luna asked him, looking into his eyes. Jordan nodded, he could feel their fear, anger, and pain. "Then their still alive." Luna told him, putting her hand on his cheek. 

    "Will you please try and eat? Even if it's just a couple bites. Please?" James asked the young Alpha. Jordan took a deep breath before he nodded, finding it difficult to even fight anymore, not like they would listen anyways.

    James sat next to Jordan at the table. Everyone seemed relieved he came to eat. Luna put a small plate of spaghetti in front of him.

     "Jordan?" Jordan nodded before taking the fork. He went to take a bite before a pulse of pain hit him and he dropped his fork.

       "TJ?" He whimpered, his eyes flashing blue as another pulse of pain hit him. 

       "What's wrong Jordan?" Oliver worriedly asked. He was worried for his son and TJ, as he looked at James as he repeated what he said, so they got a response from Jordan.

     "TJ. They're," He gasped, "they're in pain." Jordan growled knowing who was causing the pain. 

     "What kind? Your chest or random?" James asked.

      "My...my lungs, chest, and arms all hurt." Jordan answered as tears sprung into his eyes, wanting to help TJ but not knowing how was killing him. 

     "Jor. Focus, try, try and get through." Luna said, James repeated this, as he had to do for weeks for everyone.

     "Okay..." Jordan said, taking gasps as he breathed through the pulses of pain.

He focused and slowed his breathing like he did after they discovered the bond. He saw a wall then nothing, as if he closed his eyes. He felt pain, worse than before, he screamed along with TJ. Luna tapped his shoulder telling him no more. He backed out of the bond and opened his eyes.

     "They're torturing them. Please don't make me do that again, it's bad enough knowing they are going through this. I don't think I could stay sane while doing that. Oh, TJ, how are they-How-how-" He cried, not wanting to hear TJ scream like that ever again.

     "Okay. Okay." Luna nodded. Jordan sighed and tried to eat some more but only could muster a few bites, as his breathing never slowed down, and he couldn't get TJ's screams out of his head, they're in so much pain. How could he ever forgive himself for turning them, for any of that.

Luna watched the alpha with concern. The last line was leaning more towards Jordan than Luca every day, and at this moment, it was coming to pass. This pain definitely was only described by that line. Pain worse than death, yeah, he could pass for dead on most days. He is slowly becoming more and more angrier and vicious each day TJ is missing and it's been a month, by the time they find them, he might no longer be Jordan, he might no longer be able to be considered half human. Jordan staying Jordan all depended on them finding TJ, and if they don't manage that soon, Jordan is gone.

James watched his alpha with worry and fear, if he reacted like this with TJ still alive just missing, what would happen if TJ were to die? It would break the young alpha; he would go rabid with nothing to stop him from tearing apart Luca and his pack. All they can do is hope that doesn't happen, but knowing their luck it was very, very likely. 'How do you prepare for someone to die?' James wondered to himself; how do you manage to do that? Cause he didn't know, he wished he did, but with everything going on it was very, very unlikely he would figure that out in time.

Oliver watched his son struggle to eat, he hoped they could find TJ soon, his son was losing control of his anger a lot more, more than when he first turned. If it continues, he doesn't know what will or can happen. As much as he hated werewolves, he would hate to see his son deteriorate even more than this.

Luna guided Jordan into the living room.

   "Take your boyfriend James." Luna jokingly told the beta, hoping it would get a response form Jordan, it didn't. James shook his head while getting up. He grabbed Jordan from Luna and guided him to the couch. Jordan was responding to people now in little answers or looks, made everyone hopeful, but knew it wasn't likely to last, as this was going to be around the time he handed control over.

     "Jordan, are you okay, or do you need a break?" James asked him, while giving him a bottle of water. 

     "I... I don't know. It's like I have just been bit again. I feel wrong, everything feels hollow or not complete." Jordan answered as best as he could. 

    "Hey, it's okay. Can you look at me?" Jordan looked up; James nodded with a small smile. James searched his face for something before he found what he was looking for.

     "Luna, can he hand it over?" James asked. 

     "As long as he has you or me around at all times, yes." Luna said understandingly, even though she knew that if Jordan continued to hand it over, it wouldn't be long before he would lose everything, seeing him in this much pain hurt more than that knowledge.

   "Jordan close your eyes." Jordan did so as everyone watched, the first time they did this no one but James and Luna were in the room with him. It was hard to understand when Luna and James explained why Jordan was acting so differently. "Even your breathing, let your wolf have room in your thoughts." James guided. Jordan's breathing slowly became as even as he could get it while being awake. As his wolf came forwards his eyes burst open and flashed blue silver, his breathing became rapid before calming again with his eyes dimming. "Good, now I want you to look for him. Look for your wolf." Jordan closed his eyes, looking for the silver wolf that roamed his mind. "When you find him, touch him, talk to him, guide him towards the door."

Jordan looked through his mind, which strangely looked like a forest, he got surprised by this fact every time he did this. He kept walking until he found the wolf. When he found him, he walked up to him and touched his head, which the wolf leaned into.

       'You ready?' He asked his wolf, gesturing towards the blue door.

       'Only if you are. I don't like causing my other half pain.' His wolf told him. 

          'You won't be causing it; you'll be releasing it.' Jordan told his wolf. Yes, when they transferred it hurt, but that only lasted a few seconds, the relief that came after was worth those few seconds. And Jordan wouldn't ever be convinced of it, he felt better when he could run in the forest and be with TJ's wolf, it was nice compared to the hurt of them both being gone on the outside.

       'You have handed me control a lot recently, you do know the risks, right?' His wolf always had this talk before they transferred, it was surprising to see his 'rabid half' be so scared of him losing his humanity.

      'Yes, I know, and honestly wouldn't that be better than being in constant pain every day.'

His wolf growled before running through the door, and knowing what was about to happen, Jordan lied down, not wanting to fall like he did last time.

Jordan looked at James and nodded, his eyes now more silver.

    "Everyone, get ready, he may look and sound like he is suffering, but he is not. He is in pain, but he isn't suffering. He is giving control over to his wolf so he can mentally rest. It hurts because he is literally replacing his consciousness with another's, but it is dangerous to hand over control if you're an alpha. There is the risk of his wolf going rabid, or being extra protective of his pack, meaning me, Luna, and his fathers." James explained as Jordan braced himself. "Jordan, hand over control now. Hand yourself to the wolf."

 Jordan screamed as his wolf took over, his eye flashing blue, tears falling as his claws and teeth grew. 

     "He's screaming not looking like he is in pain." Olivia cried. The wolf shot up off the couch, ready to attack the nearest thing.

      "Blue! You're okay. You're on the outside." James explained to the frightened wolf who was growling in a pouncing position. "Blue, can you tell me one thing you, see?" James asked, trying to get him to focus. 

     "My beautiful beta." James blushed earning a laugh from Luna. "Dracutu? What's so funny?" 

      Luna straightened up her stance, "James over here, no matter how many times you or Jordan say that to him, he gets so flustered." Luna answered the alpha.

     "When he is in control, call him Blue." James explained to the group behind him.

     "Hey, what's the plan for today?" Luna asked to wolf. 

     "Find any clue on TJ. And I mean any. I don't care if it's a place you have checked or haven't a scent will work for right now. Something to give him hope. He is losing his hope which is making it harder to keep his humanity." The Alpha commanded, now knowing why Jordan was in so much pain. While Blue was out here, he felt it every second, a throbbing pain. It wasn't in his heart, it was everywhere, breathing hurt, living hurt, the wolf always wondered what being suicidal felt like, well this, this right here was it.

Everyone went out in groups, James and Blue went out in one group with Luna and Olivia. Oliver, Ethan, Jeremiah, and Teo were another group. Sam stayed home to watch the house, as Blue commanded. The first group that left was Blue's group, they went towards the woods. The next group went towards the city, to try and gather something on Lukas. As group one went towards the Cotton-Seed tree, Luna and Olivia went towards the river. James and Blue found some old scents, maybe a week old. Luna and Olivia found some new scents, footprints, and mental prints.

The second group split in the city, Oliver and Ethan went towards the school, and Jeremiah and Teo went toward the park. Oliver and Ethan found some footprints and emotion prints. The emotion prints were mainly the usual you'd find at any school, but the footprints changed between animal and human. The animal prints went from deer to animals that shouldn't be found in New York, like big cats and prairie dogs. Jeremiah and Teo found similar footprints and animal essence.

They all grouped up at the mansion with different information to share. When they all sat down Sam handed a notebook to Luna. 

   "Well Olivia and I found some new scents, foot and mental prints. James?" 

    James sat forwards, "Me and Blue found old scents and footprints. Ethan?"

     Ethan looked forward, "Me and Oliver found some emotion prints, we also found some deer prints and strangely some big cat prints. Teo?" 

     Teo sat straight up, "We found similar animal prints along with some essence." Luna nodded at the updates. Blue looked at Luna and waited for her to compare notes of the last two meetings.

     "The only new thing is the emotions." Luna explained.

       "We must expect Lukas to have a shape shifting ability along with his regular ability." James explained. Blue grunted before passing out. Everyone but James and Luna yelled in alarm.

      "Guys! It's okay this happens when Jordan takes back control." James explained. 

        "Why?" Oliver demanded. 

         "It's because the wolf steps back he doesn't hand it over, so Jordan has to step forwards which can take a minute." Oliver nodded, realizing being a werewolf comes with many issues and not just the chance to go rabid. 

Everyone waited minutes, which then turned into hours, and they realized very quickly, Jordan didn't want to come back. This realization hurt everyone, it was like hearing someone you loved was fatally hurt, because if he is forced by his wolf or by a threat, it will be a shell of either Blue or Jordan, no emotion, no humanity, just a name and movements.