In the quiet corners of our hearts, we wrestle with time's relentless current. We yearn for the rewind button, the chance to mend frayed threads and resurrect what once bloomed. But life, like a river, flows forward, and we learn to dance with its currents.

"Bakit tinago niyong dalawa ang bagay na 'yan sa'min?! Aren't you aware of the risk that might happen to her if you didn't tell us earlier?"

That was Kuya Seven's voice. Pakiramdam ko gising na ang buong diwa ko ngunit hindi ko pa kayang idilat ang mga mata ko. Wala nang masakit sa'kin kaya nagtaka ako kung may ginawa ba sila.

"She decided it. Wala ako sa posisyon para pangunahan siya. Nirerespeto ko lang ang gusto niyang mangyari," Nimfa defended herself.

"Kung hindi mo sinabi agad baka napahamak na si Niane. Its been a week since you guys found out and she seemed to be stressed," Eurisse commented.

Hindi ko sinasadyang maigalaw ang mga kamay ko kaya ramdam kong natigilan silang lahat. I just felt someone touching my forehead and then my neck, checking my condition. Wala akong magawa kundi imulat na lang ang mga mata ko para tingnan sila.

I need to face this. We failed to hid it from them. Nimfa shouldn't be the one carrying the blame. It's what I wanted in the first place.

"Niane, you're awake. How are you feeling?" bungad sa'kin ni Nimfa.

There were just the three of them inside this room. Kuya Seven staring seriously at me. Eurisse who gave me a worried look. And Nimfa who keeps on checking if I'm alright.

"Sorry," panimula ko. "Isa lang ang pumasok sa isip ko no'ng malaman ko ang tungkol dito at 'yon ay itago sa inyo."

"Why do you keep on hiding things, Mali? Akala mo ba hindi ko maiintindihan? You were a sister to me, of course I will always take your side. Hinihintay ko lang na may sabihin ka sa'kin dahil ayoko ring pangunahan ka," his words struck me.

Napakat ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko para pigilan ang pag-iyak. "I know that apologizing won't do anything. Kaya hindi ko sinabi dahil alam kong mapapahamak kayo. I-I never did wanted this."

"N-Niane.. 'wag mong sabihin 'yan. Kahit na hindi mo gustuhin, kailangan mong tanggapin ang anak mo. Wala siyang kasalanan," Eury said softly.

"Kaya ba.. muntik mo nang saktan ang sarili mo dahil d'yan?" he asked in a monotone voice.

Dahan-dahan akong tumango at hindi ko na napigilan ang sariling umiyak. Nimfa sat on the other side of the bed, caressing my back. I shouldn't be crying like this. Kasalanan ko naman eh.

"W-What am I going to do? Alam na niya.. siguro."

"He has bruises on his face, Niane. Sinuntok siya kanina ng Kuya mo."

Napasinghap ako sa sinabi ni Nimfa at tiningnan siya. "Kuya? Why did you do that?! Bakit mo siya sinaktan?"

"He did hurt you, Mali. Wala akong maisip na dahilan para pagsisihan ang ginawa ko sa kanya. I warned him not to give you too much blood because I don't want you to end up like your mother. That's exactly the same thing happened to her when she drank too much blood from your father."

He's still serious. Hindi 'yon nawala sa mukha niya kaya mas lalo akong natakot na magsalita. He's not like that. He might be disappointed at me for hiding things from him.

"Hindi pa rin tama na sinaktan mo siya, mahal. He's the father of her child. Niane may broke their bonds but its not the feelings nor the emotions connecting them. Its their child," Eury tried to convince him.

"Tama rin ba na hayaan kong makalapit siya kay Mali pagkatapos ng ginawa niya? He doesn't have the right to touch her ever since he married Mavis. It won't change the fact that he neglected her after what he did," he answered, controlling his voice in front of his match.

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga ni Nimfa sa tabi ko. "Quit blaming one another. Baka mas lalong sumama ang pakiramdam ni Niane dahil sa ginagawa niyo."

"Just take a rest. Wala akong pahihintulutan na pumasok dito maliban na lang kung pumayag ako."

I just nodded at Kuya's words. "O-Okay."

Nanatili akong mag-isa sa loob ng kwarto dahil sa utos niya. Gusto ko na lang sumunod dahil ayokong magka-sagutan pa kami. Whatever he says, I had to obey it. Alam ko rin namang para lang 'to sa ikabubuti ko.

They told me to rest but its clear that I can't. Maraming bagay ang bumabagabag sa isipan ko lalo na ngayong alam na nila ang tungkol sa dinadala ko. I'm really sure that this news will spread as fast as a lightning. My pregnancy can create a commotion in and outside the Academy. Mas lalong lalaki ang gulo kapag nalaman ng dalawang kapanalig na kaharian ang tungkol dito. Mas lalong magagalit sa'kin si Lolo at baka maging masama pa ako sa paningin ng mga magulang ni Zandrei.

Zandrei. He's now married with Mavis. This is also the reason why I hid it from everyone. Kung hindi lang sila kasal ay baka may lakas ng loob pa akong sabihin sa kanya ang tungkol sa bata. Gustuhin ko man o hindi, magkakaroon ng kaguluhan sa pagitan ng pamilya nila dahil sa batang dala ko.

Kung ipinalaglag ko ba ang bata sa sinapupunan ko, hindi ba aabot sa ganito?

"Ilalagay ko lang 'to rito. Kumain ka Niane, ah. Mapapagalitan tayo ni Seven kung hindi mo 'yan uubusin," pananakot pa ni Heaven nang ilapag niya ang pagkain sa side table ko.

Its been three days since I stayed inside my room and did not attend on my evening classes. Same reason. Kuya Seven wants to secure my safety since Tito Art just visited here a while ago to check on me. He was told not to let me stress myself, and studying is a top contributor of stress, they said.

"Iwan mo na lang—"

"I need to fucking see her. Let me go!"

Nagkatinginan kami ni Heaven nang marinig ang sigaw na 'yon sa sala. Bago pa man maisara ang pinto sa kwarto ko ay nakapasok na ron si Zandrei, gritting his teeth in anger. Heaven stepped back, couldn't block the master's way. Lixe also, who's standing at his back, was stunned and did not make a single move.

"You guys get out of the dormitory first. We'll just talk. 'Wag niyo na lang iparating kay Kuya," mahinahon kong sambit.

Now its just the two of us. Staying in the same room. Breathing the same air in an awkward atmosphere. Nakatitig lang kami sa isa't isa at hindi ako nagpatinag do'n. I want him to see that I've changed. That I wasn't affected on his presence anymore.

"I-I also have the right know about the child, Mali. Kahit sabihin mo lang.. pero hindi mo ginawa," he said in a hoarse voice.

Tinatagan ko ang loob ko. Taas noo ko siyang tiningnan kahit na unti-unti na rin akong nalulunod sa mga mata niya. Matang may sakit na dumaloy mula ro'n.

"I wasn't planning on having the child in the first place."

Bakas ang sakit at gulat sa reaksyon niya nang sabihin ko 'yon. "I-Its our child. Galing sa dugo nating dalawa. H-How can you say that?"

"It wasn't planned. Hindi ko kayang buhayin ang bata," pagsasabi ko ng totoo.

'Yon naman talaga ang nasa isip ko noon pa. Sina Tito Art at Kuya Seven lang ang pamilyang tumatanggap sa'kin. I couldn't ask support to anyone. Magiging pabigat na naman ako.

"I am the father. I can give support. Why aren't you including me to your decisions?" puno ng hinanakit niyang tanong.

"Simply because we're done. Ano pa ba?" My face was emotionless. "You're happily married now. What else do you want me to do? Makialam para lang sabihin sa'yon nabuntis ako dahil sa dugo mo?"

"Mali, fuck. I don't care. Marrying her was just a part of a plan. It wasn't my intention. Kung alam ko lang na—"

"You what?"

He sighed heavily and looked away. "In order to secure your safety, I need to act as if I really wanted to marry Mavis. Hindi rin siya pumayag no'ng una pero nakiusap ako para sa'yo. I've always wanted to protect you from any danger that awaits. May isang dark vampire na nagpapanggap na estudyante sa Academy na 'to. That poisoning in the cafeteria, it was his doing. Nagkaharap na kami ng isang beses sa labas ng Academy. He's serious for hurting whoever the girl he sees with me. I thought of you. Always. Sa tingin mo ba kaya kong makitang saktan ka ng iba? I was forced to do it because I know that I couldn't be on your side from time to time."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita. Para akong napipi pagkatapos marinig ang paliwanag niya. Buong akala ko.. ginusto niyang gawin lahat ng 'yon.

"It hurts the hell out of me when you broke the bonds between us. I could take all your hurtful words but doing that.. it haunts me every night thinking I just lied to the girl I promised to take care of. Hindi ka kailanman nawala sa isip ko kahit anong pilit kong 'yon ang mas makakabuti sa'yo. Fuck it! Hindi ko na kayang ipagpatuloy pa 'yon. It fucking kills me inside." Napasabunot siya sa buhok niya pagkatapos 'yong sabihin.

Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang ganito. His gray eyes staring deeply on me. May bahid 'yon ng pangungulila at lungkot.

"Meine liebe, please. Listen to me. F-Forgive me for hurting you. Kahit masakit sa'kin, alam kong nasaktan din kita. Please.. let me be with you again." He held my hands with his eyes pleading.

"Zandrei.."

"I love you, my love. Bumalik ka na sa'kin please. I would never leave you again."

He was dead serious while saying that. Ang nasa isip ko lang din ay ang patawarin siya. Hearing his side means a lot to me. Wala akong ibang pinaniwalaan kundi ang panloloko niya sa'kin. Little did I know, he was suffering for my own good.

"S-Si Mavis? You guys were—"

"Stop thinking about others. She can understand. It was an act after all. Our parents were aware of that one," he cut off my words.

"You can continue acting as a real couple, Zandrei. Walang patutunguhan kung babalik ka sa'kin."

I wanted him so bad. No one knows how I wished we can go back to what we used to be. I still love him, I won't deny that. Gusto kong ako 'yong nasa tabi niya imbes na si Mavis. That should be me.

But I know I can't.

Ako ang babaeng itinakdang.. mawala sa mundong 'to. Hindi pa man sigurado ngunit kahit ako ay malakas din ang kutob dito. I've read about sufferings on that book and it will surely happen. Lahat ng nakasulat sa libro ay nangyayari. Natatakot ako. Natatakot akong baka makalimutan ko ang mga dapat na mangyari at hindi ako makapaghanda. I'm getting afraid of happiness day by day. Hindi ko alam kung kailan babawiin ang kasiyahang mayroon ako.

"Y-You don't love me anymore?" Bumagsak ang magkabilang balikat niya. "Am I too late? Can't you forgive me?"

"Naiintindihan ko na ngayon kung bakit mo ginawa 'yon. We can't love someone we can't have. In our case, you can't have me. Hindi ako pwede sa'yo, Zandrei. I'll cause too much trouble and you don't deserve that," matigas kong sagot.

Kahit ngayon lang, hindi ako pwedeng umiyak sa harapan niya. If I will, he will take it as a lie. Na sinabi ko lang 'yon para tanggihan siya kahit na mahal na mahal namin ang isa't isa. I can't afford to take a risk anymore.

"M-Mali.. Meine liebe, please. You can't be like this. No. I won't allow it."

"Ako ang magdedesisyon para sa sarili ko, Zandrei. This is what I want. I hope you can understand," pinilit kong hindi pumiyok ang boses ko.

He should leave. I couldn't take this anymore.

"Meine liebe.."

"Leave me alone."

"Mali, please. I can't. How about the baby?"

"I will say it one last time. L.E.A.V.E."

Mas masakit pa sa sinaksak ng ilang libong beses ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. He left. Without saying anything just like I said. Sinunod niya ang sinabi ko. That's right. He should.

"Mali, princess."

Hindi ko namalayan na nakatayo na pala si Kuya Seven sa pinto ng kwarto ko. He's hesitant to come near me.

Nag-uunahang tumulo ang mga luha kong kanina ko pa pinipigilan. "T-Tama naman ang ginawa ko 'di ba? I pushed him away. He's regretting what he did but I didn't accepted him once again. Ako naman ang.. nanakit sa kanya ngayon."

"Stop crying. Hindi makakabuti sa'yo ang ganyan." Lumapit siya sa'kin at inalo ako kaya mas lalo akong humikbi.

"Why can't I do what I want, Kuya? Kapag pwede naman at nagawa ko na, babawiin din agad sa'kin. He did that for my safety and now its my turn to do it. Given in this situation, there's no guarantee that he'll be safe with me."

Marahan niyang hinaplos ang buhok ko. "You're brave for deciding things on your own. Alam ko namang siya rin dahil tinago niya sa'yo ang katotohanan."

"Alam mo na?"

Tumango siya. "That's also the reason why you two can't work out together. Nagdedesisyon kayo sa kung ano sa tingin niyo ang nararapat para sa isa't isa. Without knowing that it will just hurt the both of you. May mga bagay din naman na kailangan pag-usapan, Mali. Whatever happens, at least you tried."

"Eto ang bagay na sa tingin ko mas ligtas para sa'ming dalawa. There's Mavis.. she can't take care of him." Umiwas ako ng tingin dahil hindi ko naman gustong sabihin 'yon.

"Words can lie but your eyes cannot. Bakit hindi mo isipin ang mas makakabuti para sa anak niyo kaysa isipin ang sarili niyo? Being a parent won't be easy," he suggested.

"I wasn't sure about.. having this—"

"I don't want to hear that again, Mali." Pinanliitan niya ako ng mata. "You shouldn't let your child feel unwanted just like what Lolo made you feel. Tinaggap ka ni Tita Lemery at Tito Aries kaya gayahin mo sila."

How could I? I just turned 18 and this is a big responsibility. Paano ko matatanggap ang pagiging babaeng itinakda kung may bata akong dinadala? I'm not just putting my life on the line, my baby's life too. Dalawa kaming maaagrabyado.

No'ng kinagabihan na ay hindi ako sumabay kumain nila Lixe at Heaven sa dorm. I thought I won't get picky on foods but their cooking doesn't taste good to me. They were just eating salad and pork. Hindi ako mabubusog no'n. Gusto ko ng hilaw na karne kaya sana naman mayroon sa canteen. Mga half-cook pa naman ang kadalasang sineserve nila. I haven't seen them serving uncooked foods.

"Niane? Hindi na ba masama ang pakiramdam mo?"

"Nimfa!" I called her when she approaches me. "Nah, I feel good. I thought you already left. Hindi ka bumisita sa dorm namin."

"I was talking with.. Brandon the whole time about some other stuffs. How about you? Why are you here alone?" nagtatakang tanong niya.

"Wala akong nakikitang karne na hindi niluluto. They don't serve foods uncooked," I answered in dismay.

Napangiwi naman siya sa sinabi ko. "Uh.. I think they sell something like that in the town hall. Pero gabi na, Niane. Half-cooked naman lahat ng karne rito. Pumili ka na lang, masarap naman 'yan."

"Wag na lang. Hindi na ako kakain." Padabog akong bumalik sa upuan ko at tumitig sa lamesa na walang pagkain.

"Uy, Niane! Anong nangyari d'yan?" rinig kong tanong ni Aiko sa 'di kalayuan.

"She's having her cravings. Ayaw niyang kumain ng half-cooked gusto niya 'yong hindi niluluto. Fresh meat, kumbaga. Wala naman 'yon dito, nasa town hall," I could her the frustration in Nimfa's voice.

"Alangan naman pupunta tayo eh gabi na. Sino bang ama niyan?" parinig pa ni Xian.

"Kahit naman pinsan ko si Mali nagugutom na rin ako. Oo nga, nasa'n ba 'yong ama ng bata?" dagdag pa ni Kuya na mas lalong ikinainis ko.

"Stop that. Niane can hear you guys," saway naman ni Eury.

"I'll go. Watch over her."

Agad akong natigilan at bumaling ang tingin sa kanya. His face expression darkened as he walked out the dining hall. Gusto ko sanang bawiin 'yong sinabi ko dahil malayo rito ang town hall kung hindi siya gagamit ng sasakyan. I don't think he'll back out even if I chase after him. Baka nga nakaalis na siya.

"Wag ka nang sumimangot d'yan. Umalis na ang asawa mo," Eurisse smiled at me playfully.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Hindi ko siya asawa. Do I look like a mistress? He's goddamn married!"

"Fake marriage."

Someone corrected me and when I looked up, it was her. Mavis. Lumapit siya sa table namin ni Eury at umupo sa tabi niya.

"You guys were still married," giit ko pa at umiwas ng tingin.

Eury laughed out loud. "Look who's jealous. Balikan mo na kase."

"Oh come on we didn't even had a marriage certificate. Everything was just an act. Well, I'm a best actress." Mavis flipped her hair, probably boasting.

Hindi na lang ako sumagot dahil hindi naman ako sanay na ganito siya makitungo sa'kin. She's know for being a warfreak. Hindi niya rin ugaling makisabay kumain sa iba maliban sa class niya. What's up to her? Did Zandrei told her to be good? Lakas ng impact sa kanya ng ex ko ah.

"Hindi ka ba talaga natatakam dito? We're eating in front of you."

"I'm fine Eury. I don't find it delicious to eat," simpleng sagot ko.

Biglang may naglapag ng isang plastic ng karne sa harapan ko. May mga dugo pang kasama kaya mahahalata na bago pa lang. Sariwang sariwa pa sa pang-amoy ko kaya parang naglalaway na ako kahit nakatingin pa lang dito.

"You should eat all of that," he told me.

I glared at him, pointing the plastic. "Ang dami niyan ah. Do you want me to get fat?!"

"I thought you were hungry? What's with the complaint?" Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Ops, I'm out." Eury lift the tray of her food, planning to leave.

"Yeah. I don't want to disturb my dietary plan with some lovers quarrel." Mavis did the same thing.

"Kumain ka na. If you're not comfortable with me around, I'll go."

Agad kong hinila ang braso niya dahilan para bigla siyang mapaupo. Kaya nga lang, napalakas yata ang pagkahila ko kaya nasira ang upuan at bumagsak siya sa sahig. Everyone was looking in our direction, confused.

"Since when did you get so strong?" He raised a brow at me while trying to get up by himself.

I imitated him. "Since I found out about your child inside me."

He pursed his lips, unable to talk. When I realized what I said, umiwas ako ng tingin at nagsimulang tanggalin ang tali ng plastic para makakain na ako. Bahala na siya kung anong gagawin niya. I'm really hungry and this is the only food that could satisfy me.

I was eating the whole time while he's sitting beside me, waiting so that he could eat my leftover. Akala ko talaga hindi ko kayang ubusin pero nagulat na lang ako nang isang piraso na lang ang natira. I felt a little bit guilty for making him wait and only giving him a piece of a meat. Ano bang magagawa ko eh 'yon lang ang natira? Napasarap yata ang kain ko.

"Hindi mo na kailangang magtira, isa na lang naman 'yan. Just finish it."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "I don't want to get fat. Hindi ko na kayang ubusin."

"No matter how you try to maintain your diet, you will grow bigger. You had my child, anyways," he sounded proud.

"Kakainin mo ba o aalis ka?"

Hindi na siya nagdalawang isip pa at kinuha 'yong natitirang karne saka pilit na kinain. I can see that he's not liking the food. He couldn't even look at it while eating.

"Oh bakit ikaw na ang kumakain niyan? Ayaw na ng asawa mo?" Aiko smirked at him when they came across our table.

"Yuck, Jyron. That's gross," Xian commented.

"Gusto niyong tikman?" tanong ko sa kanila.

Mabilis naman silang nawala sa harap namin, takot yata na pati sila pakainin ko. Ano bang nakakadiri sa kinain ko? It was only a meat. Ayaw ba ng mga bampira ng hilaw na karne? But they wanted fresh blood. Pareho lang naman 'yon!

"Nakakadiri ba talaga?" tanong ko sa kanya nang matapos niyang kainin 'yon ng sobrang tagal.

It took him 10 minutes to finish just a piece of fresh meat. Halata namang napipilitan lang siya.

He nodded, not even lying. "Kaya ko naman. I don't want to refuse since its what you want. You'll probably get mad."

Parang hinaplos ng kung ano ang puso ko pagkatapos marinig 'yon. He really knows how to tame me. With his flowery words, I might think of getting back to him. Shit. Kailangan kong pigilan ang sarili ko.

Dahil wala na rito si Kuya, nag-insist siyang ihatid ako pabalik sa dorm pero ayoko. I was marked absent for three days already. Hindi naman magiging sagabal ang pagbubuntis ko sa pag-aaral. Bukod sa malapit lang ang uuwian ko sa papasukan ko, nakakabagot din kapag walang ginagawa. They're just overreacting!

"Ako ang mas nakakaalam sa katawan ko. If I say that its fine for me to attend classes, its fine!" pagpupumilit ko pa.

He stared at me seriously. "You're not, Mali. I am the father of that child. Whatever happens to you and the one you're carrying, its my full responsibility."

Napairap ako ulit nang marinig 'yon sa pang ilang beses na. Hindi ba siya napapagod sa pagsasabing anak niya 'to? Well I am! I'm getting annoyed.

"Papasok ako sa ayaw at sa gusto mo."

"Mali, don't test me," he warned me.

"And what?" Binigyan ko siya ng mapanghamong tingin.

He lowered down his head to level me. "Dadagdagan ko 'yang anak natin na hindi ginagamit ang dugo ko."

I was alarmed by his words and instantly pushed him away. Pakiramdam ko pulang pula na ang buong mukha ko sa sinabi niya. How dare him trick me that way, huh?! Ugh. And why do I think its effective! He caught me off guard!

"This is my own way to cope up my boredom. Syempre hindi mo naiintindihan. You had Mavis. Hindi ka nag-iisa kahit—"

"Fuck!" he cursed. "How did we get in this topic? Hindi ako nag-iisa? Damn! Kahit buong estudyante pa ang kasama ko, Mali, kung hindi rin lang ikaw wala rin."

Ang bilis niya namang pikunin. Hindi lang naman siya. I was also pissed. Kahit wala siyang ginagawa, naiinis pa rin ako. Nababaliw na yata ako. This might be the baby's doing. Pregnancy sucks!

"Oh talaga? Sigurado kang hindi ko hinalikan si Mavis kahit isang beses lang?" paghahamon ko pa.

He look like he wanted to punch something in madness. "Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin na wala akong ginawa? I always think of you every second. Why the fuck would I kiss her?"

"Why are you asking me?! And now you're cursing me, huh?"

Agad naman siyang natigilan at parang ayaw nang magsalita. The more he get pissed, the more he curse. Mabuti pa nga at manahimik na lang siya para hindi na ako mapikon.

"Hey, meine liebe. Fine, I'm sorry," he said in a soft voice while chasing after me.

"For what? Hinalikan mo talaga siya 'no?!" walang tigil na pagbibintang ko sa kanya.

He shook his head lightly. "Sorry for making you mad. Our baby won't like hearing us having an argument. Please, calm down."

"Kasalanan mo naman eh! You're always against me. Sabing gusto kong pumasok," kontra ko pa.

Napahilot na lang siya sa sentido niya at tumango. "Yeah. Yeah. Whatever you want. But I'll stay outside until your classes are over. No buts. Its a deal."

"Since when did I agree?"

"Well, you did not." He licked his lower lip, looking sexier. "But our baby did."

One thing I knew, there's an unusual feeling inside me and it makes me comfortable. Did he just.. communicate using his blood?

**************************