Confronting the shadows of the past is like facing a storm within, but only by weathering it can we find the calm after. The recovery of pain can act as a mirror, reflecting back to unresolved emotions, unhealed wounds, and areas in our lives that require attention and healing. If time heals all the pain, why am I still wounded?

I blinked my eyes twice to remember the things that happened. Many scenes flashed back on my mind, mixing the past onto the present. Wala akong reaksyon at nakatingin lang sa kawalan, pilit pinoproseso ng utak ko ang mga nangyari.

"W-Where am I?" tanong ko sa sarili ko.

Marahan kong ginalaw ang mga kamay ko at tiningnan ito upang kumpirmahin na buhay pa ako. Dahan-dahan akong umupo sa kama na parang nakikiramdam kung may masakit ba sa katawan ko ngunit wala naman. Why do I feel so good.. and cold?

And then the memory of my birthday suddenly crossed my mind. D-Did I made it? W-Where are they?

Nahagip ng mga mata ko ang isang full-length mirror malapit sa isang aparador kaya lumapit kaagad ako rito at tiningnan ang sarili ko. I gasped, couldn't find a word to say. My hair turned curly and its color changed into dark brown and so with my bangs. My eyes also changed its color to dark hazel and even my pinkish lips turns reddish-pink. Ang kulay ng balat ko ay mas lalo pang pumuti na kapag bumabad ako sa liwanag ay kikinang ito. Nawala na ang birthmark sa balikat ko and also.. the necklace that Papa gave to me.

Ngayon ko lang din napansin ang suot kong tradisyonal na bestidang hanggang sa sahig at hindi na makita ang paa ko. I couldn't help but to admire myself because of my appearance. I look like a real princess.

H-Hindi ako makapaniwalang ganito na ang itsura ko..

Pinagmasdan ko ang paligid ng kwarto ko. Right. They brought me here in the palace just like the plan. I stared at the lampshade near my bed and noticed something beside it. Isang maliit na langgam. Kinusot ko ang mga mata ko at tiningnan ulit 'yon ngunit hindi lang isa kung tatlong maliliit na langgam ang nakikita ko. How could I notice those little creatures? Kahit nga nakahiga ako sa kama ay hindi ko iyon mapapansin.

Nang biglang umihip ang hangin ay bumukas ang librong nakapatong sa ibabaw ng maliit na mesa. My brows furrowed when I could even read what's written inside. Saka lang sumagi sa isip ko ang mga posibleng kakayahan bilang isang bampira.

"Someone's coming here..." bulong ko nang bigla akong makarinig ng naglalakad ngunit wala pa namang tao sa labas nang buksan ko ang pinto.

Kasabay ng narinig kong tunog ng mga paa ay ang pagsigaw ng isang nilalang sa gubat malapit dito. A deer. My throat automatically went dry and feels like I wanna drink a drum of blood. Hindi pa ako nakaramdam ng ganitong klaseng uhaw at init ng pakiramdam. Akmang tatakbo ako nang makita ang pagbabago ng itsura ko sa salamin. My eyes turned red as well as my fangs came out. Did I just turned without noticing it?

My thirst was uncontrollable and there's no one can stop me, even myself. I jumped from the terrace of my room to the ground, not minding its distance. Tumakbo ako nang tumakbo at pilit hinahanap ang tunog at amoy nito. There's only one thing on my mind.. blood.

"Got you."

I finished my meal without leaving any droplets of blood from the deer. Inubos ko lahat dahil sa uhaw ko at agad naman gumaan ang pakiramdam ko nang makainom. Bumalik na ako sa normal at napatitig sa magkabilang kamay kong maraming bakas ng dugo. I killed an animal just to satisfy my thirst.

"M-Mali.. I-I didn't see this coming. Kailan ka pa nagising?" rinig kong boses ni Kuya Seven sa likod ko.

Agad naman akong humarap sa kanya. "Just now. I got thirsty that's why I came here to hunt."

Dumako naman ang tingin niya sa kamay ko bago ibinalik ang tingin sa'kin. In just a blink of an eye, he's in front of me hugging my body so tight.

"I missed you so much, princess. Akala ko hindi na naman kita makikita." He kept on caressing my hair then kissed my head. "Its just normal for you to get thirsty. You're a half-vampire now. Besides, its been 3 days since you slept. Alalang alala na kami sa'yo."

"Tatlong araw akong hindi nagising? How about the school? Is everything okay? Wala naman sigurong nasawi.. no'ng gabing 'yon hindi ba, Kuya?" tukoy ko sa araw ng kaarawan ko.

He nodded in response. "Bumalik na tayo sa palasyo. You need to dress up. You're full of... blood."

We used our vampire speed since its the ability that is easy to do. Ngayon ko lang din napansin na nakapaa lang pala ako pero hindi naman nananakit kahit na naglalakad pa kami sa semento ng hallway ng palasyo. The guards glanced at Kuya Seven before me and I don't think they know me. Sa dinami rami ng mga kawal dito sa palasyo, siguro paiba iba ang nakakasalamuha namin bawat oras.

"Dress her up. I want my cousin to look good and presentable," he seriously give his order to the three servants.

"Masusunod po, mahal na prinsipe. Halina po kayo sa loob, prinsesa."

I wasn't used to be called a princess but I just let them and did not talked anymore. Hindi naman sa wala akong respeto at nagbago na ang pakikitungo ko sa mga bampira rito sa palasyo. Though, the memories of my past makes me remember what happened in this place. My perceptions will stay the same even after everything. Hindi naman sila 'yong naaalala kong hindi nakitungo ng maganda sa'kin.. sa'min ng Mama ko. That's why they're out of it. Marunong din naman akong kumilala ng mabubuti sa hindi.

"Anong klaseng istilo ba ang gusto mo, prinsesa?"

"Kayo na lang ang bahala."

Hinayaan ko silang ayusan ako at pagkatapos ay pinaharap ako sa salamin. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang malaki ang pinagbago sa itsura ko. I just hope they could still recognize me.

"Do I really have to wear gowns?" I asked doubtedly.

"Opo. Normal na sa mga prinsesa ang ganitong mga suot. Sana ay maintindihan niyo, prinsesa," magalang niyang sagot.

"Its okay, I understand."

Mabuti na lang at wala na silang nilagay sa mukha ko kaya ang buhok at isusuot ko na lang ang inasikaso nila. Even if I don't wear makeup, it looks like I did.

"Tapos na ako, Kuya. Anong gagawin natin?" tanong ko pagkalabas ko ng silid kung saan nila ako inayusan.

"We'll go and see the king.. our grandfather," he said.

Agad naman nawala ang emosyon sa mukha ko. "Why do we have to? As far as I could remember we didn't had a good talk the night I turned into a vampire."

"I know, princess. Just show yourself to him to prove that you're strong enough to overcome everything. Ipakita mong mali ang iniisip niya sa'yo para hindi ka na niya pakialaman pa," he suggested and I think of it for a minute.

"You know him very well. Nothing could change his perception towards someone. He's heartless." I gritted my teeth in resentment.

"Hindi dapat kaawaan ang mga mahihina. This world is full of danger and death comes to those who are weak." Nang marinig ko ang boses ng hari sa gilid namin at nakatingin lamang siya kay Kuya Seven. "Hindi ko ba naituro 'yon sa'yo, Seven? Gano'n ko rin naman pinalaki ang mga ama niyo. Sadyang naligaw nga lang ng landas si Aries at nagpadalos dalos sa mga desisyon niya," dagdag niya pa.

This has always been the reason why I don't consider him as my grandfather.. my bloodline. Sa ugali niya hindi ko kayang masikmura kung paano siya namamalakad sa kahariang ito. I pity those who treats him as their King, the savior who couldn't save himself from being drowned by hatred and selfishness.

"Stop it!" Kuya Seven raised his voice. "Why do you always find a way to make her feel bad? Gano'n mo ba siya kinamumuhian na kahit tigilan siya sa panunumbat at hindi mo magawa?!" dagdag niya pa.

"I know my father is better than you. Hindi man siya gano'n ka galing sa paningin mo at wala man siyang sapat na kapangyarihan upang labanan ang lahat ng tumutol sa desisyon niya, mayroon pa rin siyang isang bagay na wala ka," I paused for a bit, fighting the urge to stare at his dreadful eyes. "He's a good father that you're incapable of being one. Kahit nasasaktan na siya pinipilit niya pa ring malakas para sa pamilya niya. Kahit hindi na niya alam ang gagawin niya umaasa pa rin siyang mayroon pang pag-asa. He did not give up! No until you let him get killed!" I yelled at his face.

Narinig ng mga kawal ang sigawan kaya agad silang nagtungo rito. They were about to intervene when their beloved King raised his right hand, gesturing them not to do anything. As if I'm afraid. Sa lahat ng nangyari sa'kin, ngayon pa ba ako matatakot?

"Mukhang hindi mo pa rin naaalala ang lahat, Niane. It wasn't my own decision. I had to decide what's best for the Kingdom—"

"And you think its the best decision is to let them vote to kill my parents?! Even your son?!" I had no right to cut off his words but still my mouth slipped.

"Yes. Bilang hari, kapakanan ng lahat ang kailangan kong isipin kahit na kapalit pa nito ang buhay ng anak ko. Hindi ko ipagpapalit ang isa o dalawang buhay sa milyong bampira na nasasakupan ko. He decided to love a mortal and I just decided to give him the consequences," matiim bagang niyang sagot.

I laughed sarcastically. "My mother taught me to forgive anyone who'd hurt me. My father taught me to stand still no matter what others think of me. But you... you taught me how to figure out the real enemy. If its a sin to not forgive what you did, then I would gladly be a sinner."

I walked out of that place because I was off my limit. Hindi ko gusto ang makaramdam ng galit nino man. Noon paman hindi ako marunong magalit o kaya'y magtanim ng sama ng loob sa iba. But in this situation where I'm in, controlling my emotions is a challenge.

"Huwag niyong papasukin ang kahit sino sa silid ko. Magpapahinga ako," utos ko sa mga nakabantay sa harapan nito.

Agad naman silang yumuko sa'kin. "Masusunod, prinsesa."

I massaged the bridge of my nose, unable to think of anything. Sa lahat bagay na nasa utak ko, hindi na ito gumagana ng maayos. I need to calm down. Baka kapag pumasok si Kuya nang biglaan masigawan ko siya nang hindi sinasadya. I don't want to hurt him too. He's precious to me.

Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog pala ako sa higaan at nagising na lang nang may sunod-sunod na kumatok sa labas. When I looked outside the window, its already nighttime.

Geez. Did I sleep for too long?

"Papasukin niyo ako, kailangan kong makita ang kaibigan ko. I'm also the princess of Myrabonia!"

That voice! Mabilis akong naglakad papunta sa pintuan at binuksan ito. I was right. It was her!

"Eurisse. You're here," gulat kong sambit.

She examined me from head to toe. "Niane! Oh God! You're alive! Thank God! Halos mabaliw na ako kakaisip kung kailan ka magigising. Seven never had any idea! Wala siyang makita sa vision niya tungkol sa'yo."

She's getting hysterical! Akala ba talaga nila hindi na ako gigising?

"I'm good now. How about you? Is everything okay outside?" sunod-sunod kong tanong.

"Yes, probably. 'Wag mo nang alalahanin ang sa labas, mas importante na nandito ka ngayon. You passed one of the biggest challenges in your life!" She cheered me on.

"Yeah, I guess. May magandang naidulot din naman ang pagbabago ko," sagot ko na lang.

I remembered my past and its like my father's birthday gift. A painful truth that is hard to accept. Wala na talaga sila. They left me 10 years ago. Hindi na maibabalik pa ang nakaraan at 'yon ang pinakamasakit sa lahat.

"Let's go to the dining hall. Everyone is waiting for you. Pagkatapos sabihin samin ni Seven na gising ka na, agad kaming nagpunta rito. He invited us for dinner. We're all here except for Mavis. She's been busy this past few days," she explained.

Tumango na lang ako at sumunod sa kanya. I'm not even expecting her presence because we all know that she won't come when its all about me. She hated me to the moon just like my grandfather. I don't have to please anyone to accept me either.

"Shocks! Nakaka distract pa rin talaga ang kagandahan mo. Its on your genes," she giggled.

Napailing na lang ako habang nakikinig sa mga papuri niya. The servants were guiding us to the dining hall and there's something inside me that was excited. Aminado naman akong namimiss ko ang mga kaibigan ko but I felt like there's something more.

Then his image suddenly flashed inside my head. Zandrei..

"Nandito na po tayo."

Nagpasalamat ako sa paghatid niya sa'min bago kami pumasok na dalawa sa loob. I inhaled a large amount of air before following her to the right side where the dining table is. Nang makita nila kami ay nagsitayuan kaagad sila at hindi man lang tinapunan ng tingin si Eury. All of their eyes locked on me and it was kinda interrogating.

"N-Nia? Is that you?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Lixe.

"Gosh! You're so gorgeous for just a princess. More like a goddess!" Heaven exaggerated.

Napangiwi naman ako sa mga sinasabi nila. "Stop that. Hindi ako sanay. Just treat me like before, a normal one."

"How could we do that?" This time its Aiko who spoke. "Nadagdagan na naman ang prinsesa sa grupo, nanliit na naman kami sa sarili namin. The level of royalties are unreachable and not even the highest position in the councils or any organization can be compared."

"I'm the only exemption. That's an order." Bumuntong hininga ako. "Ayokong tinitingala ng iba dahil hindi ako mapalagay."

"Let's eat first. Hayaan niyo namang huminga ang pinsan ko," singit naman ni Kuya.

"Babalik ka pa ba sa Academy?" tanong sa'kin ni Jyron—or should I call him Zandrei from now on.

I stopped eating and so are they. Nakatingin lang sila sa'ming dalawa kaya mas lalo pa akong hindi mapakali. I don't even know if he told them about our past.

I slowly nodded. "I still need to finish my studies. Isa din 'yon sa pinunta ko rito."

"That's good to hear. Bumalik ka na lang kapag gusto mo na," he suggested.

Hindi na lang ako nagsalita pa kahit na mayroon pa akong gustong sabihin. Nandito silang lahat kaya ayokong isipin nila na.. masyado na kaming malapit sa isa't isa. I don't want any issue.. but I don't want him to misunderstand either. We've been friends after all.

Hindi ko alam ngunit biglang sumagi sa isip ko si Lola. I immediately dropped my utensils like I was so dumb for forgotting someone important that anyone else's. Bakit nga ba hindi ko siya naisip nitong mga nakaraang araw? How is she? Sigurado akong namimiss niya na ako at baka hinihintay niya pa akong bumalik sa mundo namin kahit na sa kaarawan ko man lang.

Why the heck did I just forget Lola?!

"Princess? Is there something wrong? Bakit ganyan ang itsura mo?" Biglang pukaw ng atensyon sa'kin ni Kuya.

Tumigil ako sa pagkain dahil awtomatikong nawalan na ako ng gana. "I just remembered Lola, ngayon lang talaga. Bakit hindi ko kaagad siya naisip ng mas maaga? She might be waiting for me to visit her."

"But how could you go back to Zeal? Your necklace that helps you cross the borders line just disappeared right after you turned into a vampire," Eurisse made me realize how pathetic am I.

"I need to find a way. Kailangan kong bumalik doon kaagad. I'm worried about her. Siya na lang ang nag-iisang pamilya kong nagpalaki sa'kin. I shouldn't leave her behind after everything." Bumuntong hininga ako at tumayo na.

Natahimik naman kaagad sila at walang may balak na magsalita. My head was preoccupied with so many thoughts about Lola. I really have this feeling that I should go and visit her. Kahit ngayon na gabing gabi na.

"Did I miss something?"

Nabuhayan ang loob ko nang marinig ang boses na 'yon. "Tito! Where have you've been?"

Sinalubong ko siya nang isang mahigpit na yakap dahil simula noong magising ako ngayong araw ay ngayon ko pa lang siya nakita. He must be really busy doing his job. Hindi ko man alam kung kailan pero alam kong siya ang hahalili sa trono ng ama niya. It was supposed to be Papa.. but I'm still glad that it wasn't him. Kung naging siya ay wala sana ako rito ngayon.

"You've changed a lot. Gumanda lalo ang prinsesa namin." Ayan na naman ang walang katapusang papuri sa'kin.

"Thanks, Tito. But can I ask something?" My face turned into a serious one. "How can I cross the borders line even if I don't have the necklace Papa gave me? I badly want to see Lola right now."

Kagaya nila ay hindi siya nagsalita. Don't tell me there's no other way? No, its impossible! Lahat ng bagay magagawan ng paraan kapag ginugusto.

"Its really impossible, Mali. Now that you turned into one of us, there's a big possibility that you'll turn into ashes if you'll insist on crossing the border. Mahigpit na ipinagbabawal ang pagtawid ng mga bampira sa mundo ng mga tao," his explanation made my knees weak.

H-Hindi pwede to.. Ni hindi ko man lang siya naalala sa kaarawan ko dahil masyado akong nadadala sa mga pangyayari. I was so eager to find out the truth of my parent's death that I even forgot the person who stayed by my side when they left me.

"Still.. I'll try. I don't like getting disappointed without even trying to do anything," matigas kong sagot.

Eurisse stood up to face me. "I know how you feel, Niane. But you should think twice and expect what would happen. If you'll turn unto ashes.. it means you'll be dead. Walang buhay na naibabalik dahil do'n."

"And you also know me too well. Hindi ako sumusuko ng walang ginagawa. Its my grandmother we're talking about and not just someone. Hindi pwedeng hindi ko siya makita!" I argued.

"Doing that means no turning back, Nia. There's a least possibility that you'll survive," mahinang sabi ni Lixe.

Napatingala naman ako at iniisip kung paano ko gagawan ng paraan ang lahat ng 'to. "She's like my life. She was both a father and a mother to me. If seeing her means seeing death too, then I would be grateful."

Buong gabi akong hindi natulog dahil sa pag-iisip ng paraan kung paano ako tatawid doon. If only I had the ability to cross the borders without getting burned into ashes. Isa lang ang nasa isipan ko.. its now or never.

Maaga pa lang ay gumayak na ako upang pumunta ng Academy. Kuya Seven was still asleep and Tito Art wasn't around when I left so I just told those servants that I'm going to school, in case they would find me. I need to talk to the headmistress, hoping she knows how to give solutions to my worries.

"Good morning, headmistress."

Agad niya naman binaba ang binabasa niya at nagulat sa biglaang pagpunta ko. "Niane, ikaw na ba 'yan? Umupo ka. What brought you here?"

"I'm asking for your help. Babalik ako ng Zeal para sa Lola ko. She's waiting for me," diretso kong sagot sa kanya.

Bumuntong hininga naman siya. "Naglaho na ang kwintas mo tama ba? Now that you've turned into one of us, it only means one thing. You belong here. Dito ka na titira at hindi na makakabalik pa ro'n."

"Oh God, kindly give me a positive advice. Its not something I should let go even if I couldn't find a way," I insisted.

"Actually there must be a way. Hindi nga lang ako sigurado pero—"

"Whatever it is, tell me," putol ko naman sa pasikot sikot niya.

"You can cross the border whenever you want to. May sinabi sa'kin ang Papa mo noon. When the time comes that your necklace will disappear, you can still go back to Zeal without it."

Kumunot naman ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. "I don't understand. How could I?"

"Hydera Penha is the place where you were born. Nakatatak na kung sino man ang nabubuhay rito ay dito rin namamatay. In short, this place holds the half of your life, your birthplace." She stopped for a moment and stood up from her swivel chair. "However, Zeal is the place where you lived most of your life. You're not a pureblooded vampire and you had the blood of a human being. A hunter to be exact. Your grandmother's father is a hunter. The humans who has the ability to kill vampires," dagdag niya pa.

Hindi ko inaasahang maririnig ko 'tong lahat ngayon. A revelation that holds a big part of my life. No'ng marinig kong may dugong hunter ako, naisip ko na kaagad si Lola. Its really true that her father's a hunter. I'm more curious where is he now.

"Are they in Zeal? Marami pa ba sila ngayon?" tanong ko kaagad.

Nakibit balikat naman siya. "I'm not sure because I'm not interested with the people living in Zeal. May kanya kanya tayong mundo, hindi man kami nakikialam ngunit wala namang alitan sa pagitan namin. Pero ang alam ko ay may organisasyon sila roon. They were the one who protects the border line in Zeal. Kapag may bampirang tumawid at namatay roon, pinapaalam naman nila sa'min."

"There are still questions in my head and I know Lola can clear everything to me. Pwede ba akong tumawid ngayon na?" I asked for her permission.

"Oo naman, kahit kailan mo gusto. Ngunit may ipapakiusap lang ako sa'yo." She paused for a minute and continued to talk. "This is your home now. You better go back after seeing your grandmother. Alam na niyang maiiwan siya roon kapag nagbago ka na. I hope you'd understand."

"Iwan ko man siya roon ay hindi ko pa rin siya pababayaan. She's alone. Walang mag-aalaga sa kanya kaya paano ko magagawang iwan siya? She didn't even leave my side when she has the opportunity to do so. Sinuway siya ng Mama ko para makasama si Papa pero tinanggap niya pa rin ako ng buo. I don't think I could just neglect her." I had the determination to say that.

How could I even choose between Zeal and Hydera Penha? When both of them contributes to who am I right now? Dito man ako nabuhay ay doon naman ako lumaki. Wala ba akong karapatang maglabas pasok sa magkabilang mundo?

"Its your choice, Niane. Wala ako sa posisyon para baguhin ang desisyon mo."

"You're not going by yourself. I won't let it happen." Bumukas ang pinto at pumasok si Zandrei na nakabugsangot ang mukha.

What's with him? Hindi ko naman siya inaano. Bakit parang naiinis siya?

"You can't stop me from doing what I want, Zandrei. This is important," matigas kong sagot.

Ang kaninang naiinis niyang mukha ay bigla na lamang lumambot. "It's not what I mean. I'm coming with you."

"What?!" sabay naming usal ng headmistress.

Is he out of his mind?! Hindi siya kagaya ko! He will definitely get burned and turn to ashes.

Agad akong lumapit sa kanya at hinila siya sa isang sulok. "What were you thinking—"

"You. It has always been you, Mali," putol niya sa sasabihin ko na siyang nagpakabog ng malakas sa dibdib ko.

I closed my eyes in disagreement. "Hindi pwede. Dito ka lang. 'Wag mong ipahamak ang sarili mo. Ano na lang ang sasabihin nila kapag may nangyari sa'yo at kasama kita?!"

"You're underestimating me," he smirked. "I can copy someone's ability but not just that, even them, as a creature or you as a human being. Kaya kong gayahin ka na makapasok sa mundo niyo nang hindi nasusunog. I'm that powerful, Mali. Powerful enough to tail you wherever you go."

"Kahit na! It's dangerous as hell! Zandrei, come on! Listen."

"Maliseth! Where are you?!" Bumukas ulit ang pinto kasabay ng pagpasok ni Tito Art na parang hindi mapakali. "Your grandmother! The dark vampires entered Zeal. Your world is in danger."

Agad nanlambot ang tuhod ko at mabuti na lang nasalo ako ni Zandrei. N-No. Please keep her safe!

"Pupunta na ako."

************************