Pierce

The rest of my double shift goes by far too slow.

  I'm excited to see her but the unknowns about how her fiance is going to act is making my stomach hurt. Constantly convincing myself it's worth it is getting old, but it has to be worth it. Having her back in my life is all I wanted for years. She didn't promise to wait for me. In the year before I went to jail, we didn't even talk. I got so upset that night that I went over to her house and she said her parents didn't want me around her. It set off a long string of angry days and a deep depression that I didn't want her to know about.

  And then I got my sentencing and went to jail.

  All those years between then and now and yet I still feel so connected to her. My heart broke a little when she followed Oz out of the cafe last week and then she never came back. But I get it. She's got a new life and I can't hold that against her.

  I'm waiting outside when the car pulls into the lot. I got off fifteen minutes early and tried to wash my hands and face in the bathroom and changed out of my work clothes so I don't smell disgusting when I get into her car. Now, though, I can't seem to steady my breathing. This isn't like when we met up the other two times so far.

   "Am I late?" she asks, as I open the passenger side door and look in at her.

   "No. I got off a bit early so I could get cleaned up," I tell her, then slide into the seat beside her and drop my bag by my feet.

    The car is really clean inside and smells like lavender. I should have expected this, but I didn't. All of my senses are on edge all of a sudden.

    It's quiet in the car for most of the drive. She's not into small talk and I'm sure she's as nervous as I am.

   "I like your car," I finally say, to break the silence.

    The radio is playing some viral pop song.

   "Yeah?"

    I grin at her but she's looking at the road. "Yeah."

    She's too quiet, but I just don't know if I have any right to call her out on it. We've been driving for awhile when she glances over, so I take that as my chance.

   "You're nervous?" I ask quickly.

   "Uh, of course." Her voice is not shaky at all.

   "Why?" I want to know.

   "Oz is... it's just that..." She's flustered and not looking at me. "I need Oz to see that you're a good person and that you're not a... um..."

   "A threat," I finish for her.

    She nods and looks back at the road again. She's griping the steering wheel now and not allowing herself to relax. I find myself wanting to reach over and touch her, but I don't.

   "Right." My voice is steady but I'm feeling a bit uncertain.

   "Pierce..." She finally glances over again.

   "Yeah?"

   "I kind of need you to be... sweet. And nice."

   "I'm not sweet and nice?" I ask, seriously.

    She lets out an awkward laugh. "I don't know if you are."

   "I was in jail, so sweet sort of went out the window," I say plainly, looking forward to her reaction.

    She looks over to see if I'm serious but I grin again, which makes her lips curl up at the edges.

   "I need you to not seem like you're going to... uh, what am I saying?"

   "What are you saying?" I repeat.

   "I guess I just don't know what your intentions are."

    There it is. She's finally admitting that she doesn't fully trust me.

    I've already told her that I want to make good on my promise, but I know that's out the window now. She's engaged. I'm not that much of an asshole.

   "What's with the interrogation?" I ask, then shrug.

   "Pierce... please. I just want..." She lets her voice trail off.

   "What do you want?" I ask her, knowing I'm irritating her. I don't really care right now.

   "We're like a minute away from my house," she tells me instead.

    I nod and look out the side window. I won't do anything to make her or her fiance mad tonight. It's already late though and the fact that she invited me to their house rather than them just meeting me somewhere? I don't know what to make of that.

   "Sweet and nice," I say, as she slows down in front of a big, beautiful house.

    She nods but doesn't say another word to me.

  Oz has three beers open on the end table in the living room before we even get inside the house. I slip off my shoes and follow Devyn through the front hallway and into the room where Oz is sitting, the TV on a hockey game. He stands up and strolls over to her, wrapping her in his arms right now. He kisses her - claiming her - and then steps back to look at me.

    His eyes are dark. He's already had a drink or two, I can tell. Oz is exactly the type of man Devyn needs. He's protective and has a good job and he bought her a damn house. I have none of that. But still a piece of me feels like Devyn belongs in my arms instead.

    Oz clears his throat before beginning. "Hey, man. Um, John Ozwald... welcome."

    John? How did I not know his real name is John? That's a boring as shit name.

   "Thanks for having me," I say quickly. "Pierce Boden."

    Oz smiles and it's way too forced and then he shakes my hand. Devyn looks between us and smiles at me before crossing the room and picking up two of the bottles of beer. My heart is racing as she comes back towards me.

   "This is a really good beer." I can tell she's nervous as she speaks.

    I don't really drink. I've had maybe three beers in the last year, since I've been out of jail. I haven't been to a bar or a party. I worked a lot but kept to myself when I was in Lakewood. Since I've been back in Trenton, I've been laying low and working and hanging out with Benji and Henny.

    I take the beer anyway because I'm nervous as hell right now.

    Devyn takes a sip of hers and then walks back over and puts it down. When her eyes meet mine again, she's telling me come over and sit down. I'm not looking forward to this - the interrogation from her fiance. But I go and I sit, on the other end of the couch. Oz goes back to the kitchen and then meets us back in the room a few minutes later, a bowl of chips in his hand. He places it on the coffee table and then sits down, close to Devyn.

Okay dude, I get it. She's yours.

  "So, Pierce," he begins almost right away. "What brought you back to Trenton?"

  Of course it sounds like a casual question. It could be just an ice breaker, and he doesn't exactly look like he wants to punch me in the face, yet. But I can tell it's an act. I got really good at reading people in jail.

  The problem is, I don't know what this guy knows. I don't know what Devyn has told him about our past, about me. Does he know I was in jail? Does he know I was Devyn's first everything? Does he know that a little bit of her will always belong to me?

   "I actually came back to the area so I could see my mom. It's been awhile and I just wanted to make sure she's doing okay." It's a boring answer and only half true, but he doesn't know that.

   "Oh. How's she doing?" Oz sips his beers after his very forced question.

   "I haven't been able to get in touch with her yet," I admit, then glance at Devyn. She looks away, down at her hands.

   "Oh, damn. Hopefully that goes well for you. My parents are in Florida, so we don't see them as often as I'd like but... of course we have Dev's mom close by."

  My stomach flips and then flops. "Yeah, of course."

   "So, it's kind of weird but I just know you two were friends when you were kids. Dev hasn't really told me too much else about you," Oz goes on. It's obvious he's trying to stir the pot or at least get me to say something I shouldn't.

    If Devyn hasn't told him much about me, there's a reason. She wants to keep that part of her life from Oz. But why?

    I look at Devyn and then I wait. Does she really want me to answer this? She reaches for Oz's hand and squeezes it and sort of avoids looking at me. She's uncomfortable, I can tell. But Oz doesn't seem to notice.

   "Devyn and I grew up together. We spent every day together for thirteen years."

    My words affect Oz, I can tell immediately. He straightens up his back and he takes a big sip of his beer. His eyes darken even more and he somehow gets closer to Devyn. She shoots me a look like I've done something wrong, but I ignore it.

   "And what happened between you, then?" Oz wants to know.

    But does he really want to know?

    He is asking what happened between us as in why did we stop being friends. He's asking me why our relationship ended, but I wish I knew why Devyn has never told him.

   "High school ended, she went away to college," I say, which is half true.

    Now, feeling the vibe in the room, I know she never told him that we had sex. She never told him that I got in a fight after graduation and ended up in jail. She kept that part of us to herself.

   "Ahh," Oz says, and seems pleased with my response.

Sweet and nice. Sweet and nice.

  I take a sip of the beer and it really is good.

  Devyn's eyes meet mine as she silently thanks me for keeping our secrets. I don't like that I have to, but I promised not to cause shit for her, so I won't.

  But then, suddenly, all I can do is wonder the hell I am doing here?