Past, ten years ago

Devyn

Pierce is at the door at exactly 8P.M. He's giddy with excitement as he promises my mom to have me home safe before 11P.M. and then he blows her a kiss before I close the front door. He's so embarrassing.

But just seeing him this happy makes it worth it.

    "You look nice," he tells me, pulling me down the steps and to the sidewalk.

    "We're walking?" I ask, ignoring his comment.

I'm wearing jeans and a long sleeved shirt and my winter coat. It's winter - we likely have another two months of it, at least. I don't know why in the world we are walking.

   "Benji doesn't live that far from here," he says, then adds, "Two blocks."

He's wearing jeans and a hoodie, no coat. I don't know how he's not freezing, but he just looks happy that I'm with him. I love when he looks this happy.

The party is already started, and most of the kids I'm seeing as we go into the house are seniors, same as Benji's older brother, Jonas. Pierce holds my hand as we go through the main room and towards the back, into the kitchen. Somehow he knew Benji would be there, with a group of kids who are our age. There's Tom, David, Sasha and Henny. They are in our grade and I know them, but not well. Tom and David are on the basketball team with Pierce and Benji. Sasha and Henny are girls that hang around them. Pierce talks about them all sometimes.

    "Oh my god!" Benji yells as soon as he spots us. "You actually got her to come!"

Pierce smiles at me and nods and then says hi to the rest of his friends.  It only takes me a few minutes to realize that everyone is drinking. I'd expect it from the older kids, I guess, but most of this group - Pierce's friends - are still fourteen. Henny and Sasha both have cups in their hands and they are dancing and laughing, and Sasha grabs my arm and tells me to dance with them. I shake her off and politely decline. 

I don't dance and I definitely don't drink.       

After an hour, I wish I'd just stayed home. I mean, I shouldn't have agreed to come just so Pierce and my mom would be happy, but that's how it seems to go these days. I'm standing in the big main room, leaning against a wall, taking it all in. The party. I have a bottle of water in my hand that I'm drinking slowly, but I haven't seen Pierce in awhile. It's already pretty late - and dark outside - so I can't walk home alone, and I would feel bad asking him to leave already. I'm pretty close to calling my mom and asking her to come get me when he appears, sliding in beside me.

    "Hey." He's such a happy person. He's fun and always makes everyone laugh, despite the things that he's had to deal with in his life.

Right now, he looks conflicted.

    "Hey," I repeat.

    "Why are you over here by yourself?" he wants to know.

    "Pierce, it's just not... I'm not really.." I don't know what to say, and how to do it without offending him.

    "You want to go?" he asks, because even though I can tell he doesn't want to leave, he would do that for me.

    "No, no. We can stay longer. You're having fun?" I ask, then unscrew the water bottle and take a big sip.

    "Yeah. C'mon, we're going to go down to the den to play foosball. You can be on my team."

He's already grabbing my hand. I'm walking behind him, through the room of teenagers and to some stairs. Once we are down there, I see the same group of kids I saw when we first arrived, plus a few more. The girls are on the couch, still drinking. They are watching something on one of their phones and laughing. The guys are all around the foosball table and call Pierce over as soon as they see him.

    "Devyn, you can hang out with the girls!" Benji yells, pointing to Sasha and Henny.

Pierce gives me a questioning look but I just nod, telling him it's fine. I sit on the couch a bit down from Henny, who glances at me and smiles.

    "Hey, Devyn. I didn't know you were still here."

    "Devyn! Girl, you want a drink?" Sasha asks me, holding out her cup.

I show her my water bottle and then take another sip. "I'm good, thanks."

    "Alright." She takes a big gulp from her cup and then puts it down on the floor. "So, we've been wanting to ask you... what's with you and Pierce?"

Henny laughs and covers her mouth. I don't know why but I wasn't expecting this.

    "Nothing," I say, as casually as I can. "We're best friends. Like, since we were five."

  Sasha giggles and looks at Henny then back to me. "Oh my god, have you seen him naked? Like, did you take baths together?"

I swallow hard. "Um, no."

Henny clears her throat and pushes her hair behind her ear. "All the girls at school think he's off limits."

    Wait, what?

    "Oh, why?" I am just trying to play this cool.

Sasha laughs again. "You're not that clueless, Devyn, are you?"

I guess I am. I just shrug at them.

    "He doesn't really date anyone, but he's always with you," Henny goes on.

I glance over at Pierce. He's in the middle of a game and he's concentrating, looking down at the table. He's got his tongue sticking out a little, the way he does when he's really focused.

    "We're just best friends," I say again, to the girls.

    "Riiight," Sasha laughs and rolls her eyes.

That's when I decide I've had enough of this conversation. I tell the girls I've got to use the bathroom and stand up, not looking back, before I go upstairs. There's no bathroom that I can see on the main floor, so I go upstairs again, where's there's a few doors. They are all closed, so I knock on a few. When no one answers, I turn the knob and push open one of the doors, hoping it's the bathroom.

It's not. Not even close.

I can see a fully naked guy from the back, and he's on top of a girl, but at least I can't see her body. I'm in shock, I'm sure of it, as I just stare at them for a long ten or so seconds. The girl is moaning and the guy is slamming into her. I don't even think they know I'm there. As soon as it hits me that I'm watching these two having sex, I step back and pull the door closed again. My heart is beating too fast. I can't catch my breath. Forgetting about the bathroom, I stumble back down the stairs and go straight down to the basement again.

Pierce sees me right away and looks over, his expression curious. I likely look horrified right now. I walk right over and pull at his arm, so we're not so close to the rest of the guys.

    "Pierce! We need you!" Tom yells right away.

    "Hold on," he says to them, and then steps away again. "What's wrong?"

My heart is still pounding in my chest. I'm embarrassed and angry and I just want to get out of there. "Um, I..." I say, not able to get the words out.

    "What happened?" he wants to know, really looking concerned now.

I lean in so I'm whispering into his neck. "I just... I went to look for the bathroom... and I somehow walked in on... they were... oh my god."

My face is hot. I can't breathe properly.

    "Devyn." Pierce sounds worried, because I still haven't told him what I saw.

   "I walked in on... I don't even know who... having sex," I manage to say, still whispering.

Suddenly Pierce laughs out loud, but then stops when he sees my face. "Shit, sorry. I wasn't expecting you to say that."

   "Can we just go?" I ask, and I feel like that stupid girlfriend who pulls her boyfriend away from his friends.

Except I'm not his girlfriend. And he has no obligation to leave with me.

    "Uh, um, yeah. Let me just... yeah." He goes back over to his friends and tells them something, quietly.

I hear them all complain, loudly, that he's leaving already. I don't think it's much after 10P.M. but I really don't care. I'm embarrassed and tired and I really didn't want to be here in the first place.

    "You're leaving?!" I hear Sasha yell over at us.

    "Yep," Pierce tells her easily. "We'll see you guys. Have a great Christmas."

Sasha and Henny look at each other and smirk and then wave at us. 

Pierce is still holding my hand even after we're long gone from the party. It's dark and cold and late and I see he's got his other hand tucked into his pocket. He should have worn a coat, but I won't rub that in his face right now.

   "I can't believe you saw people having sex," he says, keeping a straight face.

I let out a squeak of a laugh so he bursts out, leaning over laughing. "I wonder who it was."

   "I don't care who it was!" I yell, then pull my hand away and shove them both into my coat pockets.

Pierce looks at me out of the corner of his eye and I can tell he's thinking. The sidewalk is sort of icy, so I slow down as he starts talking again.

    "How did it make you feel?"

    "What? Are you drunk?" I ask him, not answering the question.

He laughs again and shakes his head. "Not even a little bit."

    "I was embarrassed, that's it. I still am," I say, shaking my head again. "I'm never going to get that image out of my head."

Pierce laughs loudly again. "Sorry. Otherwise, what did you think of the party?"

I just shoot him a look. "I only went because you seemed to really want me to go."

   "You don't like Sasha and Henny?" he asks, curious.

   "They're fine," I say, because I won't tell him that they asked me about us.

He gives me a cute look and then grins. "I won't make you go to any more parties, if you don't want to."

    "Thanks."

We walk the rest of the way back to my house, about another block.

He holds my hand the entire way, which is not unusual. I know he had a beer or two, but that doesn't bother me, either. I'm sure that Pierce could do just about anything and I'd be fine with it.

My house is the first we arrive at, as his is down the block a bit. We are standing on the sidewalk just down from my front door when he smiles and drops my hand, and then digs into his pocket.

   "Don't make fun of me, okay?" he says, and he's giving me a funny look.

I'm confused, so I shrug. "About what?"

A moment later, I realize there's something in his hand. He holds it out and just sort of pushes it towards me, so I reach out and take it. It's a necklace. The cord is twine or hemp cord or something, and there's random beads strung on it. The middle bead has a 'D' on it. I don't know what to say so I just look up at his eyes.

   "Pierce."

   "I made it, for you. I... my mom had all these beads and... do you think it's dumb?"

   "Jesus. No, I don't think it's dumb," I tell him, and tie it around my neck right away. It sits right between my clavicles and he looks at it right away.

I want to tell him I love it, but I hesitate.

   "Okay," he says, and nods.

I pull him into a hug and say goodnight, and then spin around and run up to my house with out looking back.