Ritika was shivering slightly as she got into the guest bed room and locked the door. Her vision got blurred and her breaths shallower. Abhiram's words were like a slap to her face, a brutal reminder of how their marriage began. And just like that she was flung into the past.

Her marriage with Abhiram had been a dream -come true for her.

But for Abhiram, it had been a marriage of convenience. He himself had told her once that he hadn't been sure initially if he should say yes to their alliance. Probably his had shoved their decision down his throat, she thought grimly. All her insecurities and fears that she had experienced during the early days of her marriage raised their ugly heads and threatened her sanity. After her marriage, she had come to terms with his past and slowly it had stopped bothering her altogether. He had always been the loving husband. He had never hurt her before like he had done today. Why?

Did he think of Rupa often? Rupa had been a stunner at college and they had been a popular couple. Watching them together had been agonizing. Now would she have to compete with Rupa's memory too? Ritika shuddered and shook her head dejectedly.

May be she shouldn't have taken Rupa's name. But why would he utter those words if he hadn't had it in his mind? Now she knew exactly what he thought.

"I'm sorry." Ritika heard Abhiram say. Abhiram had tried pushing open the door. He couldn't open it for obvious reasons.

"Open the door," his voice was fierce.

Ritika was in no mood for this conversation. She currently was wallowing in self-pity and talking to Abhiram now would only make her loathe her own behavior. He was her world and he had this power to hurt her. Only today she realised that his past also had the power to hurt her equally. But she didn't want to appear weak nor was it her intention to make a scene and disturb her in-laws. Reluctantly, she opened the door.

"Ritika," he barged into the room, slightly panting.

"You had brought up her name." Abhiram gently touched her shoulder, but she flinched and looked away.

Ritika pursed her lips tightly and raised both her hands gesturing him to stop.

"I know. I'm sorry. I learnt my lesson," Ritika whispered hoarsely.

"What I told was absolute..." Abhiram was not allowed to complete the sentence.

"The truth," she completed it for him. Or atleast that was what she believed.

Abhiram let out a harsh breath. "Rubbish. You know it's not true."

Ritika bit her lower lip, trying in vain, to stop her tears. "Please,..not now," she said bleakly, knowing it would only worsen things between them. May be she would talk to him when she was more composed, when she had a control over her thoughts. Now, she was more muddled than she had ever been.

That night, Abhiram lay wide awake in the bed with Abhika wedged between Ritika and himself, sleeping peacefully. The faint yellow glow from the night lamp lit the room and Abhiram could see Ritika's silhouette. She must be lost in thoughts.

"Shall I take Abhika to her room?," Abhiram asked her. He had said things he had never meant and now he had no clue what to do to make her smile. He wished to take her in his arms and clear things between them, make her understand that Rupa never crossed his mind unless Ritika reminded him about her. And even if she crossed his mind, it was nothing pleasant.

Ritika had spoken to him normally during dinner while his parents were there. But now it was back to monosyllables.

"No," she mouthed.

"Do you hate me now?" Abhiram asked her.

"I wish..," Ritika said.

Suddenly, Abhiram felt like he had been crushed by a boulder. Words did have the power to hurt.

"I don't want to talk about this now. We will only hurt each other even more," Ritika reasoned.

He nodded. He pulled himself out of the bed, bent forward and dropped a kiss on Abhika's forehead.

"Good night," he muttered to Ritika and slipped out of the room.

Not talking to Ritika was pure torture for him. How could he stay in the same room as her when she wouldn't look into his eyes? She was not even letting him apologise for being a jerk. Of the first order.

Earlier, she had gone on and on about Rupa and he thought this would shut her up. Infact he had thought Ritika would laugh it off or make a joke out of it. He had never dreamt she would be so broken. Or he wouldn't have said it.

Abhiram woke up feeling tired. He had tossed and turned in his bed the previous night and barely managed three hours of sleep. This was the first time after marriage that they hadn't made up after a fight on the same day. He didn't know how she felt, but he felt terrible. He dragged himself out of bed and got ready for work.

At the hospital, he gave a call to Ritika. For coffee

"May be we should pretend that we don't work together," came her reply. "You have your colleagues, Rohan and.. Sara," Ritika added.

That was the cue for Abhiram to take things into hand. Something was really wrong. Ritika was usually straightforward and she did not speak in riddles. Something was bothering her and he had get to the bottom of it. Abhiram took off for the rest of the day and waited for Ritika outside her room.

Ritika had finished the last consultation of the day. She sighed and got up from the chair to clean her hands. It had been a long day for her. Both of them hadn't spoken to each other today. Abhiram had left her alone the previous night and given her some space. But deep down, she had wanted nothing more than curl up next to his warmth.

Finding Abhiram outside her OPD was a sweet surprise.

"Hello," she said.

"Lunch?" Abhiram asked her. "Oh. I took the rest of the day off," Abhiram told, seeing her puzzled face.

"Oh. Okay. Will they be able to manage?" Ritika asked though her heart wanted to tell him hundred other things.

"I guess so."

Both of them drove to an open restaurant nearby. It was tucked away in one of the smaller lanes and served the best momos in the city. Tables were laid far way from each other making it one of the best spots for a casual date. Tall trees and the dense foliage shielded them from the sun apart from the military green canopy umbrella.

Ritika took a look around. There were couples who were chatting away happily. Most of them were college going students, she guessed. Awareness prickled her entire being and she instantly felt his gaze on her. It always happened when they fought. It was like her body got some extra sensors to detect very movement of his

Abhiram cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. Will you believe me if I say I didn't mean what I had said?"

Ritika looked at him.

"You were telling the truth. You had wanted to marry her," Ritika stated , trying to sound as casual and unaffected as possible.

"At one point, yes."

"Then why didn't you go back to her when she had said sorry to you? We hadn't been married. Only engaged."

"Why do you think? Ritu, we have had this conversation before."He leaned forward , getting slightly impatient.

"Yeah, you told she had had trust issues. But then she had called you after she had realised her fault right?"

Abhiram blew out air.

"Okay listen. It had started out as mutual attraction, but soon the novelty wore out and I realised that we were too different and wanted different things in life. We . were. incompatible. She had never trusted me. Except for the initial days, I did not enjoy being in the relationship, honestly."

"In that case you should have been ecstatic when she broke up with you. But I remember seeing this distraught, lovesick puppy that had gone for a bungee jump to get over the break up."

Abhiram narrowed his eyes and watched her, she almost looked smug now. He had brought her here so that he could get her to talk. Instead, he was getting grilled.

"I couldn't handle the rejection. I had got used to her," Abhiram said truthfully as he watched Ritika squirming in her seat. "I warn you, this is the last time I'm talking about my past."

"If she hadn't been happy in the relationship, why did she call you after our engagement? Why did she torture me to call the wedding off?" Ritika continued ignoring his 'warning'.

"I don't know dear. May be her ego got hurt, that another girl was going to replace her. Female psychology, you should know," ABhiram had finished eating and took a sip of his mocktail.

Ritika felt at much more ease now. She mentally ticked his answers as satisfactory and dug into her momos. Suddenly, she felt hungry.

"Why should we pretend that we don't work together?"

Ritika was going to take a bite of the momo but stopped midway.

"I know you will find this stupid, but you had called me for coffee and I said I was a little busy. I had asked you to wait for five minutes but you were dying for caffeine and said you couldn't wait. And guess what, I go to the café nearly half an hour later and find you , Sara and Rohan chatting away happily. You ,obviously had waited for them."

Abhiram was speechless. Now he got all the answers. He had waited for them indeed. "

"Damn. This was the reason you were edgy yesterday," he said almost to himself.

"Ritu, I thought you had already had yours ordered it to your room like you sometimes do."

"You could have asked me once."

"I should have. I'm sorry." Abhiram clenched his teeth.

"Sometimes , I feel I love you a lot more than you love me. You know. These little things .."

Abhiram entwined his fingers in hers.

" You have no idea about anything. If you keep expecting such stupid things from me, you are bound to be disappointed Ritu. Men don't think so much. We are simple creatures. We expect basic things in life."

Simple creatures, basic things, yeah. Sleep, food and sex, she thought.

"Hmm. I didn't know you share your passwords with Sara," Ritika leaned forward and propped her head on her palm.

" God. It's a stupid scientific journal password. Not my facebook password." Abhiram snorted.

Ritika laughed now. She knew she had been over thinking.

"Madam, are you jealous of Sara?.Of all people?"

Ritika nodded.

"I didn't know you were capable of that emotion."

"I'm jealous more often than you think ,Ram." She said to him and popped one more momo into her mouth.

***

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